baby124:

You do know some girl children are raped by relatives or even their father and the mother covers it up and blames the girls right? You never know the other side of the story so do not judge her harshly. Instead we should be asking the mother if her hands are clean. If such happened to you and you became successful, will you readily jump to help

Demainman1:


Who trained her to become a pharmacist? The rapist?

If that was the case that she had terrible things done to her while growing, then she should bloody well say so. Why neglect even your straggling siblings. Na dem rape you? Mtcheeeew.

Brugge:


It is a good thing you are taking care of your mum. But I have to make this clear, no child is duty bound to take care of their parents at old age. I will repeat that again and again. But parents are duty bound to raise their kids because they brought them into this world and are under obligation to raise them as responsible adult.

I am going to tell you about a family I know very well. I encounter this lady during her Erasmus program. During the course of our conversation I asked her who was funding her Erasmus program she told me it was part of the money she got from her grandmom. Take note of this, her late grand mom according to her was just an ordinary village woman who sow seeds and farm crops. We got talking and she said, when she starts working she will start saving for old age. I asked her what about pension and the social welfare available for the aged? Her response was simple, it does exist but I have to save for my old age if then the pension and social benefits still exist I will leave my money for my grand children. About her parents, she told me that her parents apart from their pension has personal savings and that financially her parents are not expecting anything from them. Her parents gave them the best education took out money from part of their savings and gave to her and her sister to travel.

So of you might say, her parents were rich, not my any measure both parents were just average government worker, who seeing their financial standings made a plan for the future without relying on their children and without being reckless hoping and wishing that their kids will come to their rescue financially in the future. On a different conversation she was told me that her village people used to make fun of her dad for not having a male child, because it is just she and her sister. I asked her why didn't her dad try to have more kids, her response like was that her dad said he was not buoyant enough to raise more than two kids.

Please I am glad you can assist your mum but please I beg you in the name of whatever God you believe in, when you start your family save towards your old age and do not put that burden on your children if you can help it.

NB: I have a colleague whose parents are capable of taking care of themselves financially but she still sends money to her parents. She is not under pressure to do it and her parents though grateful but whether she sends it or not they are just going to be fine.

Brugge:


Funny enough we are saying same thing the only problem is you can't stand me calling out our parents for their error in judgement.

Brother, I can't tell you my story on NL but truth be told most of our parents brought it upon themselves and it pains me to watch young people make same mistake. I know a family of nine children, their mom is a petty trader and their dad does whatever jobs he can find. Their household income is not up to 40k a month I know that for sure and they all live in two rooms. How in God's name do you explain that? How in God's name do the parents think they are going to raise the kids or even provide a decent childhood or a better education for the children?

Can you please explain to me how an okada rider whose combine family income in a month is not more than 30 thousands naira intend to give a family of 5 children a good life without putting them through difficulties? Can you explain to me what is wrong,if the okada man and his wife having assessed their budget and realized that their combined monthly income is 30k and decided to have just one child, while they raise him and try to save. If in the future they were able to improve their finances they can give birth to another.


What stops our parents from being responsible, rather than relying on fate or the believe that once we manage with the help of God to train the first child then the first child will help out with others. Please I know what it is to go to bed without food and I know what it is as a child to support a family.

Brugge:


You are missing the whole point. I am not saying that kids should turn down their parents. What I am advocating for is that our parents or parents of this new generation should start being responsible and stop mortgaging their children future.

Knowing full well that no help awaits them at old from the government, they should start planning towards it by having a family size that is at par with their income without shifting their burden to their kids.

baby124:

Well a lot of girls in Nigeria trained themselves with runs and prostitution. So many traded clothes and things to send themselves to school. A lot worked too. So you cannot assume the parents could afford to train them

Demainman1:


I guess those people you described above also did all described from year 0 through primary school and secondary school. Their mama no even carry their shit and bath and wash their clothes sef.

Sister think please.

raayah:


Its comments like this that will make the sister hesitant to help. Even OP said that his sister is saving money for her husband, which kain reasoning be that?

etankoko:
I have four siblings who are in the high institution and am working and schooling at the same time. My elder sister who graduated from A.b.u Zaria as a pharmacist is doing very well. She is still single and claims to be a devoted Christian but fill less concern about anything that has to do with our mum . My dad is late and we are not finding things easy. The last time i checked my mum she was looking very sick and worried. The little money am making is not enough to carta for the whole family. My school and work are shaking me seriously.

To cut the story short, we have talked to some people to talk to her, both elders and other reliable family members. I don't know how to cope with the situation.

She is in another state. I don't know if she is just waiting for my mum to die so she will come and spend the money on her burial to impress crowd or she is saving the money for another man when she is married

My mum is dieing silently. Please make this front page i need advice cause i don't want to lose her now.

Demainman1:
And how many house girls ended up becoming a pharmacist in Nigeria?. Don't assume, how many do you know?

And who was it that gave them to their masters? Likely, their parents. And who cared for them from 0 age to 5 or 6 years. Their parents. If your parents are poor, you are not alone, a lot of us are from poor parents too.

In life, no condition is permanent. Goodluck Jonathan did have shoes to wear, but he became the president of Nigeria.

Brugge:


This kind of reasoning is why we will continue to wallow in poverty. Have you stopped to imagined what the situation would have been if the parents had planned their lives properly before bringing those kids into this world. Rather than follow the herd mentality, children are not under any obligation to raise or assist their parents but parents are required to train their children without expecting anything in return.

If only the young ones will learn and start doing things the right way rather than wishing and hoping for miracle when it is obvious that there is a fault with their plan.

baby124:

My former house girls are mostly teachers. Their education was paid for by my parents to any level. If there was one that wanted to be a pharmacist, do you think she would not have been one? A lot of these girls lives with us from 12 and above. So what are you saying?

Demainman1:
And how many house girls ended up becoming a pharmacist in Nigeria?. Don't assume, how many do you know?

And who was it that gave them to their masters? Likely, their parents. And who cared for them from 0 age to 5 or 6 years. Their parents. If your parents are poor, you are not alone, a lot of us are from poor parents too.

In life, no condition is permanent. Goodluck Jonathan did have shoes to wear, but he became the president of Nigeria.

Demainman1:


What I am saying is, who was training them before they became your house girls at 12?

Your parents would have contributed to your living one way or the other. Even ones that don't have anything to give will still give prayers.

Do not for once think that since they couldn't contribute financially, it means they deserve nothing.

Maybe na their prayers touch your parents to become the parents their biological parents could only dream about.

Everything they say happens for a reason.

By Nigeria/Africa context, a child is his parents social security at old age. Of course, there are exceptions.

etankoko:
I have four siblings who are in the high institution and am working and schooling at the same time. My elder sister who graduated from A.b.u Zaria as a pharmacist is doing very well. She is still single and claims to be a devoted Christian but fill less concern about anything that has to do with our mum . My dad is late and we are not finding things easy. The last time i checked my mum she was looking very sick and worried. The little money am making is not enough to carta for the whole family. My school and work are shaking me seriously.

To cut the story short, we have talked to some people to talk to her, both elders and other reliable family members. I don't know how to cope with the situation.

She is in another state. I don't know if she is just waiting for my mum to die so she will come and spend the money on her burial to impress crowd or she is saving the money for another man when she is married

My mum is dieing silently. Please make this front page i need advice cause i don't want to lose her now.

engrkenny:


He was also sent to do houseboy in far away imo state at some point or so i heard, i didnt hear he abandoned his siblings let alone parents when things got good, or even before.

Cc baby124

baby124:

There is no excuse for child slavery at any point. A child that is left alone with strangers in a far away land quickly learns that they are alone in this world. Their parents SOLD them. Because their parents get a stipend monthly for that child. No matter how you try to twist it, it will be a special child that can still look back and say they have a family after such experiences. It's in Nigeria you see a 3 yr old hawking. When they kidnap children like water. I will not insult that girl because I did not live her life. Her experiences may have even killed me. Till I hear her story, I don't really believe the OP's mother is clean.

baby124:

Who? GEJ? GEJ is a bloody liar. Did we not see pictures of him posing with his friends in nice clothes? Doing guy man pose. Forget all that election scam abeg.

baby124:

Well a lot of girls in Nigeria trained themselves with runs and prostitution. So many traded clothes and things to send themselves to school. A lot worked too. So you cannot assume the parents could afford to train them

menix:
Quit expecting her to sort u guyz nd u will experience open doors but once u keep hoping she will change nd start supporting the family you will be limited by ur thought..

Ask yourself this, if ur wealthy sister is not in the picture won't the family survive.

I know of a family their sister is a bank manager in USA, since the day she left nigeria till date she has not visited to say hi to the aged parents, she does not call, talkless send a torn wrapper to the mum..

This is what Jesus saw on the crox nd shouted it's is finished (Uwa Embigo)

oloyede252:

sister you can lie.haba small small.a lot of young girls trained themselves with runs and prostitution,did you train yourself with that to then come up with that ridiculous statement.there are exception Yea,but to make it a generalization is simply ridiculous.

baby124:

Little kid go and sleep. A lot is generalization? Face your books abeg.

yinkus4u2c:
Because she's a member of the family is not an indication that the family would benefit from her success... Just pray for help from above. It may be a total stranger that would help...

calabardick:

well said...
my dear am tired of our black and evil mentality. can you imagine? saying that she's saving money for her husband to be, or colorful burial.
i can imagine how such family talks.

.

Brugge:


It is quite unfortunate that you couldn't make your point or come up with a counter argument without insulting me. The sad thing is you don't me neither do you know my parents.

I am not going to insult you, but I hope you remember this as long as you live. When you are old enough to start a family you had better make a wise choice else you will have yourself to blame.