PresVA:
The bolded has made every other thing you said meaningless. . So it's ok for a man to cheat? Mtcheeeew

yeah,something like that.Pasuma wonder will explain better.

Women dont like gentleman. See the guy replies too. Him mumu gentle well. When you dont give her peace of mind she should be the one on nairaland complaining not you. Dont you know that even the government put the citizens in confusion just to distract them. Dont dull. I know several men like you they always get the bad side. Women dont want gentle men. THey think they do. But the usually just want the opposite of what they desire. The politician is likely to have numerous mistresses and even a wife in the house. Women like to flex too. Party dance etc. If you are that type of man thats too gentle never go out with her take her out. Even a 20 year old boy will take her out and bang her just for that. They will always want to pay back favors with f*ck. Thats why drivers, houseboy, gardeners .. etc be banging 'em regardless of their social status.

And on the other side they are very difficult to please. They get bored easily. And its not your fault nothing you can do about it. If its an eyinbo woman it could be better they can be outspoken and let you know they sick of f*cking you. end the relationship. Nigerian woman will jsut start f*cking your neighbors etc. Dont be fooled 53% of men cheat. 47% women cheat. so whats the difference?

Yustash001:
.bt the your wife self...what else does she want after 15yrs?.

Living with one person for 15 yrs can be BORING/MONOTONOUS especially if the other person is hardly adventurous/surprising while mating.
Tongue-in-cheek

You ain't a man just some over grown kids you can't even sit down to do a proper Analysis of the situation. A woman left everything to be with including I believe the so called 15 years later she's running back to those same things. Nigger you need some serious arse-whooping, do you need a sooth-sayer to tell you something went wrong somewhere and YOU have a major part in it. This is an opportunity to get your woman back. Jeez, a lady left a #200000 job with cars and all to be an housewife just for You? Dude, get your acts together and go get your wife if not for your dumb-ass self do it for your kids. The only proven wrong on her part is deliberately keeping informations from all others are alleged. Dude seems you've alienated her and even if you divorce her and marry again that same thing that pushed her off in you will do same again except you deal with.

noblegrex:
if you're not rich,they'll cheat.now you're rich and you satisfied them,they'll still cheat.forgiven her is not the problem. The problem is;can she change? Can the man ever trust her again.after 15yrs of marriage,all she could resort to is infidelity. As for the men that cheats,well,its a chemical reaction that occur in them. I'm not saying they should cheat but as long as they're responsible in all other things then no long thing. Why should women cheats.

Mr Man, when men cheat, who do you think they cheat with, dogs or goat's? or you think it is only single ladies men cheat with? the consequence of not following Godly principles is what humanity is facing now. If I stay responsible and you do and singles get off pre-marital nonsense, won't we sane society. I have some H. I. V patients I m praying for, believing God for healing and people Still carry the issue of sex as if there are no other important things.

OGGS2000:
my wife of fifteen years left me in Lagos to work for her ex boy friend in the east. It all started one evening she got a call that she should come to take a job at the state capital. She asked me if she can go I said if you want. She did not tell me the relationship she has with the caller she said its from someone she gave her CV. She asked me to book flight for her because she will go in the morning and I did. Two days later she called that I should book flight for her to come back and I did. A day later she called that they called that she should come and resume the next day, I made another flight booking for her. When I travelled for Christmas holiday I saw she was very happy but was surprised to hear that she was paid only forty thousand naira as her salary for the month. Last year when I moved to Lagos from where we were she left a job that pays her two hundred thousand naira plus car and driver on the reason that the family should stay tougher. This got me thinking that there must be other reason for the relocation. I got a call yesterday and I was asked why I left my wife to and work for her Politian ex boyfriend if am tired of the marriage. I called her to know the relationship she has with the man that gave her work she confirmed he is her ex boyfriend. I told her she can not marry two men at a time. she has chosen to be mistress to a politician she should pack out of my house.
She is begging that I should forgive her. my problem now is if she can do this when I can pay my bills comfortably, what will she do if situation changes tomorrow.

With all due respect sir, you allowed her because of the love and trust you have for her.

Women are very unpredictable. I believe nothing has gone wrong call her to order and talk with her. But that doesn't mean she should continue with the job. Set up a business for her.


My little advice though.

callmelanner:
Plsss and pls endeavour to see a counselling psychologist to offer u professional guidance & counselling... People here have little or no knowledge about how marriage works. Some might be brilliant enough to offer u some intelligent and unquestionable advise but it's still advisable to seek professional help. And why will u be married for over 15yrs without having a counsellor?
This is a civilised world my broda

It isn't all men that believe in a counsellor.

This narration isn't too clear but no matter what, an ex should always remain an ex. You guys as married couples lack an effective communication system.


Even this wife has no regards for her husband one bit, she is just doing as she pleases. After 15 years she is just going throw all away.

Cadamlk:
You sound like a responsible happily married woman because i know most of our single ladies dont share your kind of sentiment.They will rather be on the side of an adulterous woman.it was even evident from some their comments that i have read.I dont blame them sha because they have never being there and they dont know what it entails

I choose to be responsible and live my life based on biblical priciples, am single and happy and all other things would be added unto me.
Stay blessed!

bjcole:

Mr Man, when men cheat, who do you think they cheat with, dogs or goat's? or you think it is only single ladies men cheat with? the consequence of not following Godly principles is what humanity is facing now. If I stay responsible and you do and singles get off pre-marital nonsense, won't we sane society. I have some H. I. V patients I m praying for, believing God for healing and people Still carry the issue of sex as if there are no other important things.

are you a pastor? That's by the way. If you're a pastor and you so much believe in God,pray for their salvation and not their healings.then leave the rest for God to handle.

Zuriela:

1million likes.
Nlanders can so help to add salt and pepper to ur story for u.
In NL u will see, 'when ur wife cheat, forgive her. When ur husband cheat, divorce him.

lol @salt and pepper.

SURElee:


I choose to be responsible and live my life based on biblical priciples, am single and happy and all other things would be added unto me.
Stay blessed!

I can be added unto you, IF...

feldido:
Nothing I no go hear for Nigeria

I dey tell you. 40k thats not even enough to book emergency ticket to east and back. Women and their fish brain...deyom!!!

PastorAji:
sire, 10 trucks of chilled palmi for you. Most of those commenting are either single frustrated pippul or teens.....
@Op you were @ fault. You ought to have been reading the signs from day 1 of your marriage. No matter how someone who cheat hides it there would be some warning signs. And you also get fault sha cos for some1 like me my wife knows that she can't override my decisions @ home.

It will be difficult for him to read the warning sign sir. I do not think they have great communication..... The OP come across like a busy man or a high flying banker......According to him, his kids were in the boarding school......Is it not when a busy man is at home that he will see the hand writing on the wall?....He is very good with providing for the family but lack the basic "communion/fellowship" with the wife.....

noblegrex:
are you a pastor? That's by the way. If you're a pastor and you so much believe in God,pray for their salvation and not their healings.then leave the rest for God to handle.

Salvation is a confessional statement which an individual must do by himself/herself, the whole essence of Christianity is to make heaven and other things can be added. You don't want me to tell you about so many miracles God is performing right now in the lives of his people. I don't know your believer status but your conversation does not make you one.

My point may not make sense to you but it's the fact. Is obvious that you don't have control in your home, because the very first day you decided to allow your wife to take a job outside the state you both reside without finding more details to the job, was a sign of weakness. You have yourself to blame for not playing to role of head of your home.

Hmmm

Relax MAN, it's just for four years tennor, she will be back before you know, at least she has been with you for 15years.

horlus:
Why bring your marital issue here? What do you want to hear? Peoples opinion? Does it mean what you hear here would determine if your marriage stays or not? It tells me a lot about you.

Sir, this is family section, where sensible opinions are supposed to be offered, if we can keep to that, then why can't he bring it here?

Ujoan:


The story doesn't quite add up . . .

I can't seem to reconcile between a woman who would give up a great income and career for her family, with the one you are describing now!!!

Perhaps something happened along the line for her to think the marriage was no longer worth her sacrifice . .

The fact is that your marriage is heading for the rocks, and if you want your wife back, you have to make the effort here.

She left you because she wanted another option, not because she is so much in love with her ex. The question here is that, why does she 'need' a second option

Did you ever cheat on her or mis-treat her?

People that want to cheat will cheat even if they marry an angel. You don't know the couple so don't draw conclusions on how the husband treated the wife. And if he had been a bad husband then why is she begging to stay? Why not go on with her politician ex?

holyfather:


Of blessed memory... and what about him?

In my original write up, i made reference to the book..Marriage , Divorce and Remarriage..the author is Kenneth Haggins but there was a mistake with the name, hence the follow up.

If so, pls let her kme back n try secure dat her former job 4 her and most importantly be in charge,i mean full charge of everytin dat goes on in d home.

OGGS2000:
She is begging to come back to Lagos. She is still in the East. Perhaps she knows her plans has been exposed.

Oyind17:
I live close to my ex bf, I don't greet him not to talk of going close to him.

Ask your wife to stop working with him. You are the man of the house.

Datz for U naw.
All relationships didn't end the same way, so...

Ujoan:


Honestly, you may just be paranoid. Nothing says a woman cannot work with her ex . . . I imagine the ex now has a family of his own. The most important thing will be to draw the line, what is and is not allowed!

You wife is alone now with the kids in school . . . she probably thinks now is the time to return to the career she once sacrificed for them.

People gossip a lot down here in the east, especially when they know a woman is not living with her husband.

You should have asked the caller why he was calling you, did he catch your wife with the politician? or he just wanted to be an amebo!

Smh.
So would it be better to catch her with the politician before taking an action?
Nawao!

OP RUN FOR YOUR DEAR LIFE THAT WOMAN WOULD EVENTUALLY KILL YOU AND YOU SAID SHE IS STAYING WITH HER FAMILY OP IT IS EVEN GOOD TO HAVE A BAD WIFE THAN BAD INLAWS SHE AND HER FAMILY ARE AWARE OF WHAT IS GOING ON SO BETTER RE ARRANGE YOURSELF AND MOVE ON OR ELSE NA YOUR OBITUARY WE GO SEE NEXT BEWARE OF ALL THIS ENDTIME INLAWS AND CHEATING WIVES IT IS ON THE RAMPAGE NOW I SEE IT EVERYWHERE NOW (ALL WE CARE ABOUT IS MONEY MONEY MONEY)

goodheart4God:

It isn't all men that believe in a counsellor.

It isn't all men that believe in a doctor either...

Ujoan:


It's more of an inference. There is no smoke without fire.


Maybe she is it form him cos she knew he will over react!

I guess the main thing here is for them to break up . And ladies like you are the same .

Ujoan:


Honestly, you may just be paranoid. Nothing says a woman cannot work with her ex . . . I imagine the ex now has a family of his own. The most important thing will be to draw the line, what is and is not allowed!

You wife is alone now with the kids in school . . . she probably thinks now is the time to return to the career she once sacrificed for them.

People gossip a lot down here in the east, especially when they know a woman is not living with her husband.

You should have asked the caller why he was calling you, did he catch your wife with the politician? or he just wanted to be an amebo!

And you should be aware that the trust was much so there was no way he was suspicious . BTW he booked her flight ticket several times for her not to complain about any thing . I basically would never allow her leave . I trust no lady . Most of dem are dogs . Married and Unmarried

Hey my man I want you to know that she is not meant for you. Forget about the 15yrs marriage,if she comes back she'll still pull out. So watch out

I will attribute this situation of ur wife to poverty and prematured woman..... This signify that there is poverty in ur wife's family that's why they could not send her back to u in lagos, they even encourage and accommodate her, bad family will produce bad children unless there is intervention of God. Your wife think ability is poor, doesn't know what she want in life, age is not maturity. Ur wify is covetous. In fact if u accept am back, u be mumu, mumu of the highest oda

If she can do this now my brother, meaning the story will not be friendly when there is no cash ooo. Take heart and free that okpo (ashi) and move on with your life. Nothing good coming out