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I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant - Romance - Nairaland

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I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by donone(m): 2:41pm On Nov 09, 2005
I got married because my girlfriend got pregnant. What do you think?

I sometimes ask myself, "did I get into this wedding for the right reasons?" But sometimes I feel it was a right decision to take especially because I was my wife's first intimate contact and we actually have some memorable times together. undecided
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by vexxy(f): 3:01pm On Nov 09, 2005
I don't understand, donone. Do you believe in your marriage or not? Memorable times and being your wife's first are not valid reasons to get married. Impregnating her is also not a valid reason to get married. All of these factors can lead to the demise of the union. You may come to resent her at some point.

It's important to discuss these feelings with her and/or with a marriage counselor before it gets to late. A doubting spouse can become both an unhappy and a cheating spouse. It's better to deal with these feelings now than later.

I hope it works out no matter the course taken.

V
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by Seun(m): 3:08pm On Nov 09, 2005
I think it's good that your marriage has turned out ok despite the shaky start. 'Normal' courtship leading to marriage is over-rated, because no matter how long you date your partner will not show her true colors until you get married, anyway.

(It has been reported that some groups of people who got their husbands/wives picked by their parents seem to have happier marriages than those who choose their partners through 'love' and long trial period ...)

Now that you are married, I think the important thing is to make up your mind to make it work. That's all. Whether you are married by pregnancy or parents or love or God, the important thing is your will to make it an enjoyable ride for yourself and your wife.

Lucky husband! If it was not working you wouldn't have posted the way you did! cheesy
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by vexxy(f): 3:35pm On Nov 09, 2005
Decide to make it work, good, Seun!

Be sure to take the appropriate steps to ensure a happy healthy marriage.
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by EddyTells(m): 4:04pm On Nov 09, 2005
too late for questions, You got her pregnant, you stay with her. Period cry
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by vexxy(f): 4:50pm On Nov 09, 2005
The only problem with that line of thought is he could grow to resent her feeling forced to marry. You should marry because both parties are willing, not because of obligation. It's never to late to put your thoughts on the table and deal with them.
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by kikelomo(f): 5:41pm On Nov 09, 2005
Yeah, u don't sound pretty sure of yourself. well since u r already married, there is no need to cry over spilled milk, permit the use of my adage, just make the best of it. i'm sure u guys would grow to love each other that is if u don't already. Think positive!
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by Desola(f): 5:48pm On Nov 09, 2005
I agree with lady vexy on this one
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by donone(m): 6:11pm On Nov 09, 2005
thanks guys all of a sudden i cant wait to See my unborn kids running around me watching TV with my angel drinking milk shake and telling her how lucky i became to marry her i guess my feeling are probably cos i feel i got married a lil early for a guy. thanks anyway
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by vexxy(f): 6:41pm On Nov 09, 2005
Aww, I'm happy to hear that. Don't worry about the age factor. Many people get married young or old, it doesn't matter. What matters is how much you want to make it work and what you're willing to do to keep it afloat.

Congratulations to you and your wife. I hope it all works out for the best.
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by salako: 8:17pm On Nov 09, 2005
I think guys should behave to women as they would like guys to behave to their mothers/sisters/daughters.

I also think you married your wife because she said yes. She didn't have to marry you, so stop thinking about yourself and appreciate her decision. Or do you not respect her?
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by sexton(m): 9:43pm On Nov 09, 2005
Well Donone I don't know how old you are but I want to believe you just becoming a man(sometimes ages doesn't matter). I want you to get this two things about becoming a man 1. Becoming a man is hard 2. Becoming a man is easy it depends on how you see it. You made the decision already all you wanted is confirmation but the only one who can confirm it is God. So MAN I wish you all the best.
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by ocho(f): 11:49pm On Nov 09, 2005
@ donone .You didn't mention you were having marital problems so i'd guess things are going well and that's a good thing. you're just having doubts which is normal for any human who did what u did but if you truly love your wife(which you didn't say you didn't, so i'd take it you do) you would have still married her anyways, regardless of whether she got pregnant or not.

So enjoy your marriage and look forward to raising the child with so much love! Best of luck!
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by Oracle(m): 3:25am On Nov 10, 2005
Well thatz um not too cool but i believe
u love her dont u?
she's ur girlfriend
but men marriage is a lifetime commitment
this is no longer a situation where u can just leave the girl
u have to be there for her always
so man u better make that marriage work out for u

Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by amayna(f): 4:16am On Nov 10, 2005
I was just wondering....

Were you forced by her parents or anybody to marry her, i.e., was it a shotgun wedding?
Also, Did u marry her because you felt guilty?...Maybe you felt that it was ur fault that u got pregnant, we all know you have half the blame, but did u feel that because you were her first u'd ruined her and that nobody would marry her after u were done with it?...
Did u ever think about abortion? Did you ever think, in your WILDEST dreams, that MAYBE you would marry her, i.e. before at all you found out that she was pregnant?

I just ask these questions because if you say yes to any of the above,excluding the last one, u hve SOME issues to resolve. You married her for the wrong reasons and it CAN work, its just that u have to TRY...

One more thing, HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN U GOT MARRIED?...
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by mckaycee(m): 11:19am On Nov 10, 2005
I am just happy that you didn't let your girl down when it mattered most. I think she loves you so much to agree to be your wife no matter the situation.

Now Big Boy, make the best out of this marriage by being a good husband and daddy to-be.

TO BE A MAN NO DEY EASY O! A big CONGRATS to you.
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by donone(m): 7:27pm On Nov 10, 2005
nop wasn't forced at all i felt why would i wanna abort my own child when am not in school and its not someoneelse that's pregnant for me i also felt i could support a family and took my decision that all but i love her a lot am a 22yrs old chartered account working in one of the biggest financial institutions in the country so i felt that was the best decision to take at that time i.e. to grow old together with my hubby.

so i dint forget my love for her has geometrically increased in the last 2 days thank to you guys wish you guys all the best
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by pophoney(m): 10:49pm On Nov 10, 2005
I got married at age 22 also and it has been five years now. We were in love (and still in love).
She got pregnant for me and I was happy that am going to be a father (millions cannot). the pregnancy made the wedding ceremony to be done at the time it was.
But you see, even if she was not pregnant at the time she was, She will definately be the one I will marry. Am happy with her and bless with two lovely kids. I will forever be grateful to God for marrying at the time I did.

Am happy to hear your love grows geometrically.
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by EddyTells(m): 1:31pm On Nov 11, 2005
good one man!
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by joshjosh(m): 2:09pm On Nov 11, 2005
marraige works and it is very good but you have to work at it very well. marraige is like a farm. you are likely to get out of it what you sowed into it.

i wish you God's blessings dear brother but please help yourself and do the act of loving as you are supposed to do. not just as the society and people requires. you have a long way to live, support and enjoy yourselves

if u can please read a lovely book " the joy of a commited relationship" by gary smalley i bet it will bless you greatly
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by fabian(f): 4:46pm On Nov 11, 2005
seun, what do you mean by, "no matter how long you date your partner will not show her true colors until you get married, anyway"
Please explain biko!
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by Rhodalyn(f): 6:33pm On Nov 13, 2005
i think u're a man of principle n dats very nice cuz we don't always get what we want sometimes
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by fabian(f): 1:19pm On Nov 14, 2005
Seun I am waiting.............
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by alheri(f): 1:23pm On Nov 14, 2005
@fab. my sista, infact dont mind this our seun sometimes........................
@seun. we go impeach u oh! u better answer.
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by fabian(f): 1:41pm On Nov 14, 2005
True, maybe we should overthrow him!
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by Seun(m): 1:45pm On Nov 14, 2005
It is a well known fact that courting couples do not reveal their true characters to each other until the dotted line is signed, or the woman gets pregnant. When you are dating someone, the fear of rejection causes you to be on edge and project your best image lest he/she leaves you. Once you are married, you feel secure and you become your normal, more obnoxious self.

I think that is why some people find it impossible to get attracted to their close friends of the opposite sex. Because they know the truth about the friend and this makes him/her unexciting. Meanwhile, the boy/girl you hardly know causes butterflies to fly in your stomach and you are ready to climb seven mountains for him/her. Talk about self-deception!
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by fabian(f): 1:53pm On Nov 14, 2005
seun link=topic=2912.msg100876#msg100876]
seun, what do you mean by, "no matter how long you date your partner will not show her true colors until you get married, anyway"
Please explain biko!
[/quote]

[quote author=Seun:


It is a well known fact that courting couples do not reveal their true characters to each other until the dotted line is signed, or the woman gets pregnant.Meanwhile, the boy/girl you hardly know causes butterflies to fly in your stomach and you are ready to climb seven mountains for him/her. Talk about self-deception!

But your truth holds true for both parties, male and female, yet you make it seem like women are the queens of deception and men are the saints
Mind you not everyone pretends. nobody's perfect, but its not plausible for one to show only his/her good side through out the courtship. that seems lame to me.
infact I would not go with a 'seemingly perfect' man!
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by ondogi: 2:17pm On Nov 16, 2005
DANONE

Utter rubbish you just allowed yourself to be hoodwinked into slavery. so what if she was pregnant, na she go be the first? How can you marry at the age of 22, what were you thinking. It is highly unfortunate but you just lost your precious youth and freedom, now you are in serious boundage.

Imagine you did not even enjoy your youth, have fun and be adventurous. At that tender young age, your life is already over. I know they (the congregation) will call me names but am the only one saying the truth. You made a very big mistake marrying that girl, believe me you will always regret it, no matter what anybody here say to console you.
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by Seun(m): 4:23pm On Nov 16, 2005
Ondogi: Of course, if he listens to people like you, he will always regret it. People who think that youth is all about jumping from one bosom to another instead of settling down. Either he stops associating with people like you, or he goes for a divorce with no assurance of finding one later on. I think the option of choosing friends wisely is more prudent.
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by ondogi: 12:25am On Nov 18, 2005
SEUN
its people like you, he should beware of. people who will never say the truth, you push othr folks into trouble meanwhile you avoid it. tell me are you married, if not why? and if you are @ what age? let us hear what you got to say
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by ondogi: 9:29pm On Nov 21, 2005
SEUN
I am still awaiting your reply to the questions i asked. Kindly reply as soon as possible.
Re: I Married My Girlfriend Because She Got Pregnant by snazzydawn(f): 10:38pm On Nov 21, 2005
@Donone,you are truly a noble man.You did the honourable thing though late,but well,you did it.I wish you happiness.

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