I've told her i want to marry her,but she insists i have to convince her mother.Isn't she supposed to do that wit me?at least give me a headstart in de process?

then she is not ready for marriage.
you have only to convince her, and if she accepts you tell her mother.
but when she seeks her mothers approval, its gonna remain like that even after marriage.

_{she will seek approval to even sleepwith u on wedding night too.}

She's definately being traditional, thats the way marriage was done in the old days, Then you had to approach the parents and ask for her hand in marriage. Girls were never allowed to initiate marriage talks.
Obviously that's the way she's been brought up, try and do as she requests then move on from there. . .

One pretty chic I love so much once insists i have to convince her mother when I made my proposal known to her.Well,I felt disturbed at first until I later realized that she wasn't ready for a relationship and also she was nursing some kind of fear in her based on a past incident that affected one of her relative.I had to let her be since I didn't have a bad intention towards her and her refusal to give an head starter in the whole process.

If she's being traditional,i respect that.But wat if in future she actually requires mummy's consent to have more kids or buy a house?

darqly:

If she's being traditional,i respect that.But wat if in future she actually requires mummy's consent to have more kids or buy a house?

when u have your chioma and aduke you want some good for nothing boys marrying them without talking to you first cos you are ancient and modern God sent?

izeek:

then she is not ready for marriage.
you have only to convince her, and if she accepts you tell her mother.
but when she seeks her mothers approval, its gonna remain like that even after marriage.

_{she will seek approval to even sleepwith u on wedding night too.}

seconded. u only need her approval b4 her mothers consent followa

darqly:

I've told her i want to marry her,but she insists i have to convince her mother.Isn't she supposed to do that wit me?at least give me a headstart in de process?

that response sounds childish to me.

maybe we should inquire from the poster wat the girl/lady's age is before drawing conclusions.

@poster, hav u guys been seeing each other for some time (i mean dating) or u just came up with a spontenous decision to marry her. if it's the latter, then the response is not out of place but if it's the former, then u hav to answer my earlier question (agewise i mean).

Tudór:

She's definately being traditional, thats the way marriage was done in the old days, Then you had to approach the parents and ask for her hand in marriage. Girls were never allowed to initiate marriage talks.
Obviously that's the way she's been brought up, try and do as she requests then move on from there. . .

that's the old way of doing things but not in the twenty somtin century we are in and we are mandated to move along wit it.

a lady is expected to show interest after she's wooed. meeting her parents shows u guys are moving to the next level and u r establishing ur commitment. Wat i'm saying in essence is that one is not expected to meet the partner's parents if u aint sure of wat the future holds (for the relationship.)

so, this is kinda complicated

She's definately being traditional, thats the way marriage was done in the old days, Then you had to approach the parents and ask for her hand in marriage. Girls were never allowed to initiate marriage talks.

A man approaches the parents, after the girl has agreed, otherwise whats the point?, as you risk making a fool of yourself.
In the "old" days, parents were marrying off their daughters to suitors without the daughter's consent, that's why "Girls were never allowed to initiate marriage talks".
She wants him to convince her mother, before she marries him. This is a different issue altogether that shows immaturity on her part.
She is not asking for advice and counsel, but passing on the decision making process.
If an adult, mature woman, is deferring the most important decision of her life to her mother, it is clear she is not yet ready, or able to make those kinds of decisions herself.

In this kind of scenario, the mother-in-law will be ruling the household. Tell her to scamper off, and come back when she is ready.

But guys (correct me if am wrong) she's accepted to marry him, she just wants him to go ask her mother. That shouldn't be a hard thing to do but if he doesn't like the whole ''tied to mama's apron'' thingy he can slowly break the habit after marriage.

the poster is not saying anything to clarify issues.

why is he just keeping quiet?

@poster, u r getting people confused here and we cant help if u aint replying these mails.

kindly reply and elaborate more on this problem of urs or this thread should be considered closed.

@poster

Maybe u need to convince her mother by sleeping with her (mother). She is not ready for marriage, its the simple truth.

@tosyne,we've been dating for a while,but de I did ask her to marry me without any fanfare.She did expect it cos I told her from de onset. She's 22 and i have no issues wit her maturity at all.De problem is she takes her mum's word as Final,hence de wait.