Rubbish!... A 14years old girl giving everyone stress adding to the whole economy/family situation.


Send her to my mum,just in 2 months her brain will automatically reset on its own.

Toughen up big sis...

Nlaand:
Hello parents and friends,

I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.

Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.

Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.

My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.

Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.

Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.

Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me ....no, my mom tried

To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..

pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas

Op...teenage period is 1 of the most difficult.....we all hate our parents at a point.....u don't change her mindset by scolding everytime. ....lighten up on d advise and scolding. .....play wt her and have fun....let her open up by herself

Praizekeyz:
Gbam!
Future olosho!

Lmao....ODE!

Not only you ooomy sister is 13yrs inshort she is had working cuz we re only 2girls nd 4boys,she is d last born nd 2nd daugther dis children nowis nt all abt shouting,@ timers inmvite her to ur place douring d weeked nd ve more talk with her cuz me am very far away from home nd I always call to advice my little sister nd I bless God,now she is growing breast she ll be doing stubborness I pray God ll help nd thank Ghod 4 mom,mom is a teacher see invtes her tour place nd talk toher buy some tings 4 her, nd also when she come advoice her u ll see she must calm down I pray God ll help

I guess she's started seeing a guy. Are you sure she's still intacts.cos she might not just be the lil sis you know.make her feel loved and talk sense into her.that's stage is very delicate both for guys and girls but ladies expecially.get close but not too close to her.be moderate so that she won't underrate you too.

I will ask just one question before I comment...


'do you people have any Hausa Muslim man as a neighbour?'
if yes, then tie her to a mango tree, rub black powder on both palms and give her series of hot slaps. if her eyes turns red then the jazz is trying to be ejected, don't stop, continue with more hot slaps till she screams and tears drop.


now that she's fine, hold her close to your fine breastt and say 'I luv you sis, please understand '.

Sit her down n talk to her,dnt scold her yet,make her open up to u,and as per d camp aspect , find out y she so much love going to d deeper life camp to d extent dat she hates ur parent for not letting her go just once,I tink dat her bf usually attends d camp too n dats d only time she is very free to c him,try n know d kind of frends she kips too cos at dis age she will easily fall to peer pressure

It's simple. Find one wicked relative/aunt/cousin wey dey far place like d north. Dump d girl wit dem for like five years. Tell dem abt her attitude.
I bet u, she will come back a changed person wit respect for ur parents and u!

Her life will neva b d same.

Nlaand:
Hello parents and friends,

I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.

Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.

Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.

My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.

Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.

Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.

Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me ....no, my mom tried

To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..

pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas

pray against every yinusa yellow in her life

Nlaand:
Hello parents and friends,

I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand.


Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.

To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..

pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas

I have a few contributions to make in an advisory capacity. Let's Analyse.

1. Home Alone like Kelvin and Lonely like Akon.
Your sister is the only one at home with your parents, she would feel lonely. Now, if you are conversant with young people, you would realise that they are constantly yearning to have friendships of any kind. Often the kinds that most adults might even consider unhealthy or unnecessary, therefore you can't stop her from having friends. Observing her environment, you'll notice its almost like she has no one her age to play with at home. Most elder siblings make the mistake of forgetting their younger ones when they leave home (maybe apart from occasional homecoming visits) this forces the young one to feel very lonely (worse if she is a 'lastborn' who is still very young when the much older siblings leave them home alone.

2. Youthful Exhuberance (Juvenile tendencies) .
She is still young and bustling with dreams and enthusiasm about the world and how she feels as a brand new teen. I mean, she's probably thinking, what could she possibly discuss with mum and dad who are from an entirely different generation, how would they understand Wizkid and 'whatever her mates listen to now' and that girls with painted nails are in vogue?

3. Peer Pressure
Puberty is not only happening to her but her friends and peers as well, she is beginning to hear exciting stories from them especially about the male folk and the crazy little things her female friends do when no one is watching. She's thinking, why should she not be allowed to be independent like Toju or Mariam or Chichi? They all have boyfriends and they brag about their boyfriend buying them ipad and how they went to camp to catch fun, they even post their luv pics on instagram, and she has become a laughing stock among her friends because she isn't in 'Vogue'.

From the above, do you see the big picture in her head and why she sees y'all as enemies of progress?

Now to the solution:
A Sweet Distraction: She needs new friends, good ones this time. You need to fill up that vacuum and if possible advice your brother to team up with you to revive your sisters faith in the bond you share as family that should be stronger than the friends she meets out there.
Fuel her need for excitement with carefully thought out activities she would always look forward to, which promote healthy fun and moral upliftment. Your creativity would play a major role in this category depending on the situations in her location and availability as well. I would suggest enrolling her to learn something like ballet or ice skating (find a suitable alternative in your area, perhaps sports - tennis, playing a musical instrument extra school/class .. be her coach if you will). Trust me, this is a healthy distraction from the norm which she is more likely to welcome. I noticed African kids never have enough healthy fun when they are becoming adults and it can lead to dependency on other terrible vices like smoking, crime, immorality. Create more opportunities for her to enjoy quality time with her siblings, she would have something to brag about to her friends or better she would spend less time with those bad friends of hers and be proud of the family she never knew she had. Who needs a boyfriend anyway when her siblings take her out more than he ever can? Got it? Plus, she would most likely meet more responsible people her age while engaging in healthy extra-curricular activities that responsible parents send their kids to.

I need not repeat the need for you to advise her as many have suggested here already and you also said you have done so yourself, but when you bring yourself closer to her through the above, she is more likely to put your advice into practice than when you just stand arms-akimbo on your waist and legs spread apart in a power stance to issue commands from a distance.

Bottom Line: If you want young people to take your advice, you have to make conscious efforts to understand why they feel that way and try to provide healthy substitutes for the problem rather than trying to magically make them ignore the underlying problems that make them react the way they do, they may not even understand why, but as an adult you have a clearer birds eye view.

Praizekeyz:
Gbam! Future olosho!

Now what does this senseless post say about you?...

Anyway if ur mom is yet to talk to her about it try ND stop her ND tel ur mom not to behave as if she saw something or mad at her ND wen u get home pretend as if u are d one dat was d diary ND frm there u wil let her realised that u too once think like that before wen u are her age too abot ur parents because of how they used to treat u but later in life u realised it's for u own good ND let her realise things wil change for d beta by making her know that u won't tel them abot d diary but wil just tel them to show her more love.
On d issue of boyfriend don't create an issue wit it cus if u let her realise she is too young for that things might get out of hand cus she wil keep away her plan frm u too but just let me know that boys don't give money to girls they don't love, let her realise that she should face her education for now ND forget abot d boy ND scope her that she can count on u for support by d time she is ripe to start dating or that if anyboy come to u that she should always inform u wit that she might start to confide in u but if u tel her she is too young for dating she wil do worst ND it can finish her life.
Like someone suggested take her out to entry but make sure she is in good mood before u start ur discussion wit her.

Nlaand:
Hello parents and friends,

I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.

Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.

Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.

My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.

Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.

Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.

Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me ....no, my mom tried

To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..

pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas

I have a 18 year old cousin and 15 year old sister who are the most irresponsible set of girls I have ever seen. they think they are smart and are adults enough to do whatever they like. Everything is just boys, boys, boys, lipstick, painting of nails, make up and boys especially my cousin. they steal money from my mom too. 40k can go missing from my mom's bag in one night, it has happened several times. My parents have tried severally to help these little punks but to no avail. they use to get spanked but all that has stopped because you can't force someone to do the right thing. I love my sisters more than anything in the world but their behaviour has damaged our relationship with each other over the years.

the best you can do for someone who has refused to come off from a self destruct path is just hope that they see the light and make a change.

She's clearly on the protest path. Better handle it diplomatically to avoid the Ese-Yunusa scenario playing out again here. Sit with her and reason with her likes and dislikes. Don't let her know your mum seen her diary or you heard anything. Just sit her down and ask how she's coping with the old folks.

Make her understand that at her age, you disliked them too but you tried to calm down and face your studies, avoided guys/babes just so you succeed to the level you required to leave home as a successful person you are today.

She will catch the drift and also allow her to go deeper life Church camp before she joins a church that will funkilize her the more than you would want her to be.

Make her understand also that pregnancy is not bad and she should not try to abort it since a lot of women out there are craving without luck but also make her understand that once it happens she automatically becomes the woman she craved to be and most importantly would have to start fending for herself and also be in her mother's shoes of trying to raise an obedient child.

My sister, life is in phrases, she will outgrow this her current character soon... My little brother use to be very very stubborn, but I kept calming him down, talking senses into him and one day this boy called me on phone and was thanking me for helping him understand life better... He was like "Brother I now understand and appreciate those advise you use to give back in the days"... Its all about how you communicate with her.

Nlaand:
Hello parents and friends,

I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.

Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.

Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.

My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.

Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.

Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.

Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me ....no, my mom tried

To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..

pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas

my E-sister can also contribute: greatgod2012

donbenedict:
Op, I think u should dread d day she will run away from home...


Please never allow that to ever come to pass...


U people should just let her be.. let her paint.. just let her be...

Unless she may be like my sis who ran away from home for 2months!

it is not only Ese who will run away from home afterall.

Nlaand:
Hello parents and friends,

I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.

Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.

Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.

My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.

Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.

Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.

Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me ....no, my mom tried

To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..

pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas

BEG HER
SHOW HER EXAMPLES OF GIRLS WHO HAVE RUINED THEIR LIVES
OR JUST BEAT HER TO SUBMISSION OIF ABOVE FAILS AND IF SHE STILL PROVE STUBBORN,IGNORE HER(TRUST ME IT WILL GET THROUGH WHEN SHE SEE SAY UNA NO SEND AM AS IN NO FOOD NO SHELTER NO NOTHING.RISKY AND HARSH BUT AT THIS POINT ITS ALL YOU'VE GOT ALL THE WHILE TENDERING HER CASE BEFOR THE ALMIGHTY)

My first thoughts after reading is there is a lot of contradictions in your little sis behaviour. Not all people that go to deeper life or enjoy their programmes are saints but it's extremely rare to find a 14 year old who cherish deeper life doctrines (judging from her diary entry) put up such rude and close to lewd behaviour as soliciting for money from a boyfriend. Are you sure she has not been using the retreat attendance as an excuse to be somewhere else?
If she has really been good before now, something could have traumatised her and suddenly robbed her of her innocence. Could it be your father's sickness, an unpleasant personal experience at the hands of someone she trusted or some wrong (but sadly true) impression she might be getting from some friends or even you the big sis?
Whichever way put aside the cane. It's time to befriend her, win her trust all over again (if you had it in the first place) and get her to talk to you.
It will surprise you the secrets teenagers keep.
I know. I pastor a youth church, though not deeper life for your curiosity.
I pray God give you an answer of peace

I do not think teens process or understand the words 'hate' and 'love' with the same gravity, weight and depth as adults......hate is usually translated to dislike and love to lust or flirtation, as they grow; their level of understanding will be enhanced...even some of us adult find it difficult to separate love from lust.

However, the most important thing is their circle of friends and upbringing as they matures...some refuse to grow out of that teenage myopic understanding, depending on their circle of friends and upbringing thereby corrupting their adult understanding and application of those emotions.

For your little sister, it appear she is surrounded by people that care much about her; your approach is notable, continue in that line, tell your mother to also calm down. The bitter truth is, as we pass through puberty, adults and our parents cannot 'save' from every negativity out there...sometimes our curiosity takes the better part of us (which is good, God put curiosity in us for good purpose, so we can think outside the box) and we experiment with somethings and experience first hand that, our actions were bad afterall ....as they say, experience is the best teacher. Little kids are attracted to fire and despite the best efforts of their parents to prevent them from touching the lamp/fire from fear of getting burnt, majority of kids do not take hinder until they have actually touched the fire/lamp, and get burnt and that experience is valuable in chanting a corrective course within their subconsciousness. Also, that moment of getting burnt is a valuable moment, where their brains will connect the pains they now feel to the previous multiple warnings of their parents not to touch. This experience is very powerful and the lesson is eternal and wouldn't have come about, if they had not tried and failed.

Bottom line, keep doing what you are doing; but also know that, you can't protect her from all and every negativity out there, some day she will be on her own and protecting her like an egg only to release her into the world without some independent actions or choice or growth process of her own will be a great de-service to her and part of that process entails her getting some first hand experiences even she have to make some mistakes and learn by those experiences. However, you should always be there to reinforce the positives, and if she stumbles be quick to give her assistance and encouragement, she will definitely notice the difference; assure her that, you meant good for her and that whatever happens, she can always come to you....As for that dairy and it's content, I wouldn't loss a sleep over it.

Nlaand:
Hello parents and friends,

I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.

Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.

Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.

My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.

Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.

Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.

Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me ....no, my mom tried

To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..

pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas

To correct it, go back to your house and live with them or you take your sis along with you or the whole family with u.

stop giving her money instead buy things for her,that monthly 1k looks like a salary to me,then I ask what is her work?. the person above me tho

end time child

Nlaand:
Hello parents and friends,

I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.

Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.

Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.

My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.

Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.

Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.

Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me ....no, my mom tried

To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..

pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas

make her struggle small. I have struggled. now I love my dad with passion. I think about him everyday.

Praizekeyz:
Gbam!
Future olosho!

U re d most senseless and stupid person, wat bullcrap? And na pple like u their children dey end up being olosho and ritualist stupid fellow

[quote author=martyns303 post=43770854]I also have a 14yr old sister, I left the country when she was 10. We used to be very tight, when I came back I noticed she is always having issues with my mom about what to wear, my mom is the over protective type, even me that's an adult she still treats me as a kid.

What I did was to create a very very tight bond with my lil sis, we are so tight she tells me everything.

From what you have said, it appears to me ur kid sis is by herself, big bro is not around, u are not around, mom has to work, Dad probably don't relate well with her. So create a tight bond with ur sister. It may be difficult because of ur job, get her phone and call her every day, talk with her, let her know she is ur person and stop treating her like a 5yr old u guys can push around else u will end up pushing her away.


I Concur with this advice. The best way to help your is making her your friend. Dong see her more lyk a child. From there you can tell her some story at the end ask her wot she feels abt the story. This ll help you know if you are making progress with her.

donbenedict:
Op, I think u should dread d day she will run away from home...


Please never allow that to ever come to pass...


U people should just let her be.. let her paint.. just let her be...

Unless she may be like my sis who ran away from home for 2months!

Ur sister b the real MVP

Ensure that no hausa man hears about this cos that is the reason why they abduct

lilmax:
She‘s a kid and doesnt know what fire is until she touches it,a single mother in training is what she is

All i see here is bad friends,also bad tv shows and the worst of all no protection.....

Go to the root of the mara,HER FRIENDS,make her discard them and stop giving her money

Bro, dat one na petrol to fire! As a lot of pple av rightly said, u can't treat what u don't know, and u don't treat them as kids! Their mate dey husband house!

Get to really know her, be her friend n lead by exemplary example.

Deeper life again. Last I read of the church it had to do with a teen girl getting converted to Islam.

You are lucky she's not pregnant yet.