| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by jayceekaJ(f): 10:23pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
If you can take her with you that would be much better. Your mum is not young enough to monitor her every move. Your dad too. And when you're gone she's free to do just about anything. It's not just about been a teenager. She has to learn it the hard way if possible to avoid stories that touch. She'll thank you later. Trust me. 1 Like |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by Nobody: 10:23pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
tellwisdom:
Na because of 14yrs old gurl you write this long epistle?? Obviously you're immature and in her age range. 2 Likes |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by lawrsmith(m): 10:24pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
Nlaand:
Hello parents and friends,
I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.
Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.
Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.
My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.
Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.
Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.
Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me   ....no, my mom tried 
To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..
pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas
I love your methodology of disciplining a child. I think all you need to do is to inquiry from her on her she arrived at the conclusion that she hate your mum and find out who planted that seed in her. the worst mistake your mum made is ever allowing to attend deep life program. because they can even make you to kill ur mother. 1 Like |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by DlOrdKRiS(m): 10:24pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
|
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by nsedet: 10:26pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
A complex situation you have on your hand dear and I feel for you, but there's nothing that can't be remedied. Please advice your mum to stop the beating. It doesn't help, especially @ dt age. Lemme narate a little situation of mine. I have a niece that is about te same age. After hearing of complains from her mom about her school work I decided to tutor her myself after school hours. I realised she was always scared when I asked her questions. It was wierd cos this was a girl I'v never raised my hand on. Bur gradually as we continued she became more open, more confident in answering question, she even went to asking me questions herself. Problem was my elder sister was always using the sticks on her whenever she was tutoring her. That made her scared of answering questions cos she did not wnt to make mistakes or get the wrong answers. Point is kids of dt age need love n understand to help them get tru that stage in life. Like som1 said, get her a phone n always keep in touch. Let her believe she can trust you with anytyn and most important, share your own problems with her, don't try n be a super woman. Let her see ur happiness, joy, sadness n also anger. From time to time talk 2her about your fears. My dear strike a cord of friendship btw u too and I assure you , she'll come around Nlaand:
Hello parents and friends,
I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.
Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.
Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.
My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.
Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.
Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.
Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me ....no, my mom tried
To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..
pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas
3 Likes |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by Yello1(m): 10:33pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
Common stop pestering her,beat stupid sense out of her skull and beat common sense into her skull.cos if she kill her dad and mum wit that her stupid nature,she no go gree u rest in future wen she go dey cry of regret so do d needful nww. |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by Rashman578(m): 10:34pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
Reset her to default settings by lashin her 50 stokes of indian bulala
...thank me later |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by 3rdeye1(m): 10:34pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
Nlaand:
Hello parents and friends,
I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.
Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.
Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.
My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.
Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.
Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.
Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me ....no, my mom tried
To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..
pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas
hey sis.. I have someone who can help ur sister.. He is a life coach.. Don't worry about money... Trust me! Let me know if u are interested. |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by tellwisdom: 10:37pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
AyaSunday:
Obviously you're immature and in her age range. Mugu, what are you saying?? |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by blessedfavoured: 10:37pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
And practice what you preach abeg, you can't be saying one thing an your lifestyle is the opposite o what you're preaching. |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by olubenjazzy(m): 10:39pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
Her painting of nails to me isn't bad, as she may be painting d nails sometimes to while away her free time and sometimes just naturally like it 'cos it's actually bringing beauty in some people's hands n legs.
I just think you need to be more close to her, you are far from her due to not always being arnd witin d week, but let her often hear from you (get her a phone) call her to ask how her day was, how her today's class went, she don chop? (chat with her on whatsapp), copy n paste broadcast messages of inspiration/motivation and funny stories(jokes sometimes) on FB or NL and ask how wetin she feel about d message u sent her (to you u like d story did she?) continue supporting her with the little financial stuff u can afford, let her know u can't do this big tins for her for now, but she should accept it with love and with time things are going to be great(with this method you can indirectly bring in boyfrnd matter that she should just not be freak with the way some girls are hooking arnd guys for material tins 'cos d results are hard and som only do deciv d innocent ladies) doing this will make her be very close to u. And should want to be freely talking to you. Its working for me tho! I never let my lil sis be dat down and I do always mk her feel comfortable and free around me. We are good frnds so she do reason 'some' of her mata wt me. N I add advice/suggestion where necessary. #GOD WILL GRANT HER A LISTENING HRT 1 Like |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by Nobody: 10:40pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
yetseyi:
I don't think a 14year old is too old to be spanked although I m not an advocate of beating but sometimes it does reset the brain to default, ejecting all that stuff that is making her disobey her parents.
She should be able to listen to simple instructions, its not too much to ask her not to paint her nails, its not too much to ask her to help your mum.
Continue talking to her and she should please discard that boyfriend before something happens. A lot of times when these small girls begin to have boyfriends they lose respect for those in authority. She should not give her elderly parents HBP.
Times have changed sha. I have noticed this trend, a lot of children born 2000 upward seem to be quite disobedient, some parents are having a tough time with these kids, listen to simple instructions they wont.
 I like wat u said sha. We are not in America whr a child will tell the father F**k u and will be ignored although nt all parents allows it as free as their society is. |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by samuel051: 10:52pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
TBH I'm scared of getting married becos i dey fear make my wife no go born girl. Now i understand y my neighbour was crying after he was told his wife delivered a baby girl. 1 Like |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by piagetskinner(m): 10:52pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
Kids that age want to experiment everything, feel they know everything.. Want to be at par with their peers...
It all Boils down to peer pressure.
Talk to her in a loving manner... And let her see reasons y she shouldn't behave the way she's behaving towards u, ur mom.. And everyone that tries to correct her 2 Likes |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by magicminister: 10:55pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
martyns303:
There is everything wrong in painting her nails, wanted to take my lil sis out once, and she went and put lip gloss on, although there was nothing wrong with it, but I had her clean it up nicely " Lolo (her nickname) do u think the lip gloss is necessary?" she got the message that I don't approve of it and she wiped it off. It's all about how u relate with them. lip gloss protects the lips. i am a man and i use lip balm.... you people never cease to amuse me |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by RaeMystix: 10:57pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
She's a teenager who has alot of confused emotional. I was also mad at my parents when I was at that age, cos I always felt been belittled and disrespected as result of me been the last child in the family. I also wrote on a diary, that my mother was an instigator who hates me,which she'd found, and was felt bothered about it, cos she'd never had thought I'd such feelings towards her . Now that I am approaching into my mid 20's, it's totally a different situation. My mom is now my best friend, even though she still gets on my nervous every now and then; As a matter of fact, i've just gotten back with my mom from a lunch date to celebrate her birthday. If she'd made such comments at the age of 34, then you ought to really request for her to have a meeting with pastor Kumuyi.
Ps: Perhaps you should try accompaying your sis to the camp, cos as a former member who also happens to be born into the church, you ought to be very careful leaving a 14 year old on her own on such a trip, cos that is a period when teenagers do tend to loose themselves. Yes I said so. Retreat for me as a kid was an opportunity for me to go hang out with my friends past my curfew without having any consequences. I as a kid who also had a teenage brother and sister then, and knows what I am saying, cos I used to be the "family detective" during those times. Never let her go alone. I know of kids that i grew up with, who lost their virginity on those trips. 1 Like |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by domnwan(m): 11:04pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
It's really annoying about her behaviour, but I think she needs a God's intervention, give me a pm and I will send my number to you,I really want
to speak to her as regards to her recent way of life |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by Nobody: 11:06pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
blessedfavoured:
And practice what you preach abeg, you can't be saying one thing an your lifestyle is the opposite o what you're preaching. once ur asking dem to stay away frm guys and every day different guys come to pay u a visit who u introduce as a boyfriend and once in a while ur sleeping out....there is no way they will hide advice frm such a sister. 1 Like |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by martyns303(m): 11:07pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
magicminister:
lip gloss protects the lips.
i am a man and i use lip balm.... you people never cease to amuse me Did u see lip balm or lip gloss? Who is amusing who now? |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by jaydee87(m): 11:09pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
with the way this girls of the new millennium are behaving you would think they are reincarnation cos they seem to know alot of things and now the trend for them is boyfriend and sex. if you Dont act fast she will be uncontrollable, bring her closer to you and keep advising her let her know there is time for everything. have a girl in my area like that too u won't believe if i tell u she dates a 30 years old man..pls keep her close and pray... |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by Originalsly: 11:10pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
@op...why raise hell over nail painting and lip gloss? ....that's what 14 year olds do...worldwide....she is just normal. I think you need to have a different approach.... instead of being a police...making rules and enforcing then you need to be her guide and counsellor...showing her both sides of whatever coin she pulls out. To me.... the most troubling is her mentality of money/material stuff is the foundation of a relationship.With a mind tuned like that. ...it would be sooo easy for her to be trapped....and trapped again. Whatever chats you have with her.... use references that she can relate to. You have to try your best. |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by jaxxy(m): 11:17pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
Nlaand:
Hello parents and friends,
I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.
Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.
Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.
My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.
Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.
Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.
Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me ....no, my mom tried
To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..
pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas
The solution to all this Drama is quite simple. Here's wot u shud do: Try treating ur sister as a friend and not just like sm younger sis u want to correct she will definitely open up to u and tell u more of wot she's going tru. Then u can advice. No scolding or flogging for now cos she's up to an age to reason. Teenagers need frnds they can trust and dats partly y she's gotten a bf who may like her or hv other motives. Money can also be an issue and weakness for younger ones so educated her about money. Dats all. Cheers! |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by okeke00(m): 11:17pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
You will later realised the benefit of what El Rufai is about doing in his state. RELIGION activities must be checkmate in this countries. So she wants to reddened camp and abandon your parents at home. Odi egwu 1 Like |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by oye1889: 11:18pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
As a teacher in teenagers class i think the best approach is making her feel comfortable around you and this can be acheiev by getting into her world, becoming her close pal by bonding ie friendship. |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by Mrbigman1(m): 11:18pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
Nlaand:
Hello parents and friends,
I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.
Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.
Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.
My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.
Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.
Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.
Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me ....no, my mom tried
To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..
pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas
Babe, involve ur elder bro. The smallie needs heavy shouting at and petting just to mak things right. It's good he comes home and give it to her hard Kids at her age get out of control especially when parents can't gather enough strength to do it to dem In fact I dey vex. D earlier d better before we loose another sister |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by EmtolalaaPRAISE(m): 11:27pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
Ur sis is just being the baby that she is! It's normal, take her to church |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by gynny(f): 11:30pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
Op i think you should sit ur sister down and ask her for reasons why she paints her nails, u shuld try not to sound judgemental but understanding. U can even give her instances of how u were at her age, and try not to paint ur self as a saint. Tell her the mistakes u made, the good stuffs u did too. Once she gives you her reasons, tell her u understand since u've been at that age before. U could even advise her to go for natural colors instead of bright colours. Believe me, she'll get tired and stop at her own time. As for the diary, almost every child hated their parents after a beating, so no worry abt am. |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by Mrford(m): 11:32pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
donbenedict:
let us blame modernization... they feel u are an old cargo..  I swear children of this days are too disobedient. |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by SycophanticGoat: 11:35pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
|
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by Nobody: 11:37pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
she needs some flogging das all. flog some sense into her.
I don't know all these indomie generation style where they tell you not to flog kids.
flog her abeg. let her broadcast to the world that she hates her family if she likes.
when she grows up she will appreciate the guidance and flogging.
if you don't start flogging her now, she will blame you guys later for not disciplining her when she needed it. 1 Like |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by donbenedict(m): 11:43pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
Mrford:
I swear children of this days are too disobedient. dey dnt even greet their elders when passin on d road... u will walk past a small child, dey will not even say anythn... chei.. Mother's why? Why? Why?  |
| Re: My 14-Year-Old Sister Made Shocking Revelations, How Can I Manage The Situation? by mbhs139(m): 11:48pm On Mar 14, 2016 |
wadetaw202:
She may find it easy to play, talk and befriend your brother more than you. This nailed it. While growing up, I loved and related with my sisters well more than my broses. They are always spanking me, and it's affecting our relationship even now that I'm a parent myself. I can't look them in the eye, and I hardly confide in them. But for my sister's, particularly the one in abuja, ha!, I love them so much. So, same thing could play out here if the brother steps in, they will gel more. You know, girls are very secretive unto one another. 2 Likes |
