What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? - Romance - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? (2410 Views)
My Girl's Right Labia Minoria Is Longer Than The Left One. Help!! / Patricia's Smartphone. (a Peek Into The Contemporary Single City Girl's Mind) / A Girl's Mind: Someone Explain, Please (2) (3) (4)
| What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by klassyguy(m): 11:23pm On Aug 16, 2009 |
[b]I'm sort of getting fed-up and edgy about telling my babe the same thing all the time. I left naija early this year for my master's and b4 i left, i had proposed and given her my ring. we even brought our parents to meet informally. i've been here for a couple of months and i call her almost everyday. Recently, she keeps on bringing up the issue on when will we get married, and i keep on telling her that she shld relax, that as a man one shld be able to provide well for his wife b4 the kids start coming along, and that giving the situation of things, we cannot get married until wen i finish skool and get a good job. besides, i'll have to work for a few months to have some money in order to be able to get my own place, furnish it a bit, and even for the wedding itself(even if my parents are going to give us money for the wedding, at least as a man i shld also have some money as well for the whole thing). This has been what i've been telling her anytime she brings the subject up. As i am now, i won't be finishing skool until much later next year, and hopefully if i get a job wen i go back home, we shld be able to get married by the first half of 2011. But she called me earlier today, telling me she was so moody, that we had planned that by 2010 we'll be married, etc, etc. i told her that plans definitely change, that she herself knows that is no longer possible considering the state of affairs now, and that i don't want to bring her into my house in order for her to suffer, that she shld chill out on this wedding thing. besides i had told her from day 1 that i was going to go for my masters at some point, and that would she be willing to wait? at least i've assurred her that she's the one i want to marry, her parents have given us their blessings, and they are all willing to wait till i get back from my studies. i almost started yelling at her today cos i don't know what else to tell her. i had even told her that i'll be coming home during the summer break next year, and we can then do a more proper introduction. this thing is really getting on my nerves cos i'm really fed up of telling her the same thing over and over again. [/b] |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by posakosa(m): 12:04am On Aug 17, 2009 |
You should also understand the type of pressure, Nigerian woman, family pressure, and marriage = heart attack, Maybe her family is pressuring her, it may not be her fault. |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by posakosa(m): 12:07am On Aug 17, 2009 |
Im not sure of what you can do, but maybe time away from her family will help. I can just imagine "you 21 and ure not yet married, you need deliverance" you 22 and u're not yet married, you need deliverance you 23 and u're not yet married you 24 and u're not yet married you 25 you 26 you 27, what are you doing with this man ? your mates are married with kids you 28, are you stupid, ? you berra put some pressure on him, he has to know you don't have time left you 29,  |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by TOYOSI20(f): 12:08am On Aug 17, 2009 |
@ OP So far u are doing all u can from what u have stated, i feel like she should be able to see reason, . . . . the bottom line is for both of u to sit and then come to a mutual conclusion on when exactly u are ready to tie the knot, . . . best of luck mahn!!  |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by posakosa(m): 12:09am On Aug 17, 2009 |
the fact they her parents have given you blessings doesn't mean that do are not pressuring their daughter, How old is she ? |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by Nobody: 12:10am On Aug 17, 2009 |
posakosa:say wetin?  too young o |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by klassyguy(m): 12:11am On Aug 17, 2009 |
TOYOSI20: Unfortunately i can't do that cos im in US and she is in Nigeria. . . . .besides we keep on talking abt it and i've told her that once i finish skool nd get a good job, we'll settle down as soon as we can. that's why i said the first half of 2011. posakosa: She is 23. |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by posakosa(m): 12:12am On Aug 17, 2009 |
FL Gators: Omo its not young ooh. I have seen Nigerian parent's pressure their children into marriage at that age. Mothers talking about the earlier the better. |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by posakosa(m): 12:13am On Aug 17, 2009 |
klassyguy: @ Gators, I told you, 23 is young depending on where you are located. Oh boy I am more than certain that its family pressure at play here, She also probably thinks that ull leave her after you obtain your Masters. |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by oyinda3(f): 12:14am On Aug 17, 2009 |
she seems pretty young to be worrying about clock ticking. so the only other reason i was thinking is prolly because you're abroad, she's getting pressure from friends and family. u kno, men abroad are known to ditch their naija girl for babe abroad. maybe that's what's worrying her. u just need to keep reassuring her i guess. did she support your going abroad? |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by Nobody: 12:15am On Aug 17, 2009 |
posakosa:The better for what? posakosa:okiez oyinda.:on point |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by posakosa(m): 12:16am On Aug 17, 2009 |
oyinda.: Certainly, Im sure that she's nervous u'll leave her once you obtain your degree, I was also gonna ask, are her other mates getting married too ? It could that social pressure. |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by posakosa(m): 12:17am On Aug 17, 2009 |
FL Gators: For marriage and childbearing. <but childbearing more importantly> |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by TOYOSI20(f): 12:17am On Aug 17, 2009 |
klassyguy: It really doesn't matter where u both are, . . .u see we have to make the best of w/e situation we find ourselves, . . . its still all about communication, . . . and if its in 2011, the its just around the corner, . . . .so she needs to exercise a lil' more patience, . . . |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by klassyguy(m): 12:20am On Aug 17, 2009 |
oyinda.: What other reassurance shld i give her? i've been hammering it into her head since that she's the one i've decided to take as my future wife. I'm the kind of guy who wasn't the really outgoing type. not that i was boring. i had my fair share of female friends back in skool, but i never dated any of them. even my last GF, i never loved as i tried so much to love her but couldn't wen i met this present babe, i saw all i wanted, all i had outlined for myself in her. besides i'd told her from the first day that i'll be going for my masters at some point. she said she was okay with that, as long as i don't leave her for another girl. we've been dating since 2007. |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by posakosa(m): 12:21am On Aug 17, 2009 |
Its hard to exercise any form of patience of you have family pressure, PRESSURE is real. When you wake up thats what you hear When you sleep thats what you hear, |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by klassyguy(m): 12:22am On Aug 17, 2009 |
posakosa: funny enough, she's the youngest out of all her friends, and none of them are getting married right now. infact, even her older sister is not yet married. |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by C2H5OH(f): 12:22am On Aug 17, 2009 |
tell your girlfriend to bear with you o. and you sef respect yourself please, don't start slamming babes left/right because you don jand. don't rush to a hasty decision too. remember you are still young, and your biggest obligation is to yourself. you don't wanna rush into marriage with someone you will end up being miserable with. if you are already thinking marriage at this stage, then my guess is that you two know how to communicate well with each other. try to talk her into being more patient. if you don't give her a reason to panic she should try to understand. afturall you went overseas to better yourself n your future with her |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by C2H5OH(f): 12:23am On Aug 17, 2009 |
pk pk pk n pressure. are you being pressured |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by posakosa(m): 12:26am On Aug 17, 2009 |
C2H5OH: Nope, I just want the guy to see that it might not be totally her fault. She might be getting pressured. Communication is key and he needs to reassure her, BUT SHE'S YOUNG TOO! SHOULDN'T SHE BUSY WITH SCHOOL AS WELL.  |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by C2H5OH(f): 12:28am On Aug 17, 2009 |
maybe she should be, maybe not. maybe she's one of those girls that just wants to settle into the role of a fulltime housewife? who knows? sounds like the pressure was already present prior to his travel |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by oyinda3(f): 12:29am On Aug 17, 2009 |
klassyguy: I totally understand u. u wouldn't create this topic n loking for advice if u didn't care abt her am sure. she said she was ok with it.? so did she fully support it or partially? because i'm sure she knew the plan was for you to graduate in 2010, and i think it's unreasonable of her to demand a wedding the same year. unless she was just nagging you about the changed plan. i mean she doesn't expect u to quit ur program. lol maybe she's just really missing u. send her letters and such lol and keep calling i guess to make it seem you're closer to her rather than half the globe away. |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by klassyguy(m): 12:30am On Aug 17, 2009 |
posakosa: I'm sure it is not pressure. all her folks know me and support me. she just likes hearing me say the same thing over and over again. about skool, she finished skool. we met in NYSC camp. i initially thot she shld start her masters right away, but she said due to all these strikes here and there, and not knowing whether i'll decide to remain here for sometime after skool or come back home(still trying to decide myself, but that is till next year), she wants to wait till i finish. |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by posakosa(m): 12:31am On Aug 17, 2009 |
Well, she's afraid of losing you. You have to understand her perspective. Be patient with her. Does she work ? Maybe you can do something to keep her busy, she can start pastoral school. LOL! |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by TOPE20001(f): 12:31am On Aug 17, 2009 |
@poster- i give u 3 gbosa sef, u r man. What else does she want u hav assured her that u want to marry her n u hav also put a ring on her finger. She is only 23. She shud bear wit u abeg |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by klassyguy(m): 12:33am On Aug 17, 2009 |
oyinda.: I call her almost everyday here. if nothing, i talk to her about 25 mins each time. posakosa: Yes she does, but she wants to leave her present job for another. |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by oyinda3(f): 12:33am On Aug 17, 2009 |
also, maybe u should go home this christmas instead of next summer since you're going home next year anyways. plan ur trips with even intervals. don't just disappear for 2 yrs and then visit twice in the next year. once each year is more even (i'm assuming you're graduating late next yr). unless your plans are set that is or you have a reason why u planned ur trip that way. klassyguy: and how often does she bring the subject up? maybe this last time u got angrier at her than usual n are exaggerating the situation. but if she does nag u about this all the time as u say then u need to ask her why she's behaving that way. there's nothing bad in having a fight or anything. u two need to seriously discuss the issue and come to terms |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by posakosa(m): 12:34am On Aug 17, 2009 |
Can she come abroad too?! Maybe that her way of saying she wants to be with you! |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by Radiant(f): 12:34am On Aug 17, 2009 |
Doesn't she have better things to do at her age than pressuring a man to marry her? All diz girls panting for what they know nothing about. . . . |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by klassyguy(m): 12:36am On Aug 17, 2009 |
Maybe i've just spoilt her silly. back home, any problem she has, so long as am available, i help her out. any small thing, she'll call, nd i'll have to pet her. anytime she's in town, and i close from work, i usually go pick her up, take her home, and drive back. and our houses are at two opposite ends of town. |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by Nobody: 12:36am On Aug 17, 2009 |
posakosa:By marriage, yes. You see how marriage ties into everything now? |
| Re: What Else Can I Do To Put My Girl's Mind At Peace? by posakosa(m): 12:37am On Aug 17, 2009 |
FL Gators: Nope marriage is NOT the only way. Her parents can sponsor her if they can afford it, she can come for school, someone can invite her, Marriage is certainly not the only way. |
Ladies: What Do You Think Of Women Who Are Married To Handsome Men / Is It Polite To Be Taking A Lady You Want To Mary As Your Wife To A Nightclub? / Typical Nigerian Man (cheater)
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 62 |