posakosa:

Nope marriage is NOT the only way. Her parents can sponsor her if they can afford it, she can come for school, someone can invite her, Marriage is certainly not the only way.

Of cuz marriage is not the only way. But its the easiest way, is it not?

The girl need to get a grip abeg, i agree it might be pressure but she just 23. Gettin married at 25 is perfect. Lol. So she shud wait.

oyinda.:

also, maybe u should go home this christmas instead of next summer since you're going home next year anyways. plan ur trips with even intervals. don't just disappear for 2 yrs and then visit twice in the next year. once each year is more even (i'm assuming you're graduating late next yr). unless your plans are set that is or you have a reason why u planned ur trip that way.

Naturally, i was supposed to have gone home this xmas, but my classes don't end till mid-december, and even if i go home then, i'll not be able to spend much time with her. besides i just got here in april. that's why i decided to shift my visit till next summer wen i'll know i'll have time for her.

posakosa:

Can she come abroad too?! Maybe that her way of saying she wants to be with you!

i told her that she can't come right now as i don't have a job yet. besides it's just for sometime.

TOPE2000!:

@poster- i give u 3 gbosa sef, u r man. What else does she want u hav assured her that u want to marry her n u hav also put a ring on her finger. She is only 23. She shud bear wit u abeg

i absolutely agree, . . . .i mean hes dotted all the "I's" an crossed all the "T's" in ma opinion, so its up to her

she either stays and gives u all the support she can or WALKS!!,. . . .ahan, . . .i no even fit shout abeg!!

i even decided that maybe during my graduation, she can come. but i'll still go home b4 then.

klassyguy:

Maybe i've just spoilt her silly. back home, any problem she has, so long as am available, i help her out. any small thing, she'll call, nd i'll have to pet her. anytime she's in town, and i close from work, i usually go pick her up, take her home, and drive back. and our houses are at two opposite ends of town.

Yes you did.

Now you've spoiled her for another man. . . .thatz if her nagging gets overbearing for you two and you decides to split

oh that's reasonable enough @klassguy.

klassyguy:

Maybe i've just spoilt her silly. back home, any problem she has, so long as am available, i help her out. any small thing, she'll call, nd i'll have to pet her. anytime she's in town, and i close from work, i usually go pick her up, take her home, and drive back. and our houses are at two opposite ends of town.

then she's probably missing u or being reallllly scared of losing u.
phone convos isn't the same as being there. time goes by really fast anyways. by this time 2 yrs from now u two will probably be married n laughing this off. lol don't stress it too much

FL Gators:

Of cuz marriage is not the only way. But its the easiest way, is it not?

Not aside from marriage/ work is the other easiest way.

posakosa:


Not aside from marriage/ [b]work [/b]is the other easiest way.

Okay. But for her, do you think thatz a choice?

oyinda.:

oh that's reasonable enough @klassguy.

then she's probably missing u or being reallllly scared of losing u.
phone convos isn't the same as being there. time goes by really fast anyways. by this time 2 yrs from now u two will probably be married n laughing this off. lol don't stress it too much

I know she's missing me badly. This is a girl that was weeping like a baby the day b4 i left, wen i gave her the ring. My younger bro even told her that it was good she didn't follow me to the airport. I told her then that no matter what, God sparing our lives, once i finish, i'm coming back for her. I send her mails every now and then, cards, texts, etc.

posakosa:

@ Klassy you need to understand that she's young and VERY IMMATURE, uuum, just ignore her for now, <don't call her or give her any

attention>, focus on your studies, and see what she does.

Gbam. E be like say she no go hear word unless u do something drastic. U 2 dnt go and cheat on her ooo.

FL Gators:

Okay. But for her, do you think thatz a choice?

Well, He doesn't have a job. He's only a student. So I dont know the most appropriate choice for her. Definitely not marriage, unless she marries someone else over here.

If she's a good worker, im certain work may become an appropriate choice. It seems that she's more focused on marriage instead of her impact at work,

the girl is a graduate too according to the op.  i'm sure she can work, if she's not already working.
posakosa that's too harsh.lol i wouldn't want random posters calling my fiance that

TOPE2000!:

Gbam. E be like say she no go hear word unless u do something drastic. U 2 dnt go and cheat on her ooo.

abii ooh, he needs to get focused on school so that he can afford her and  her lifestyle and travel wherever her spoiled self wants to go.  

posakosa:


Well, He doesn't have a job. He's only a student. So I dont know the most appropriate choice for her. Definitely not marriage, unless she marries someone else over here.

If she's a good worker, im certain work may become an appropriate choice. It seems that she's more focused on marriage instead of her impact at work,

sHE'S 23, SHE'S ALSO A STUDENT.

sO tHE MAN QUESTION IS, WHY IS SHE PERSISTENT ON MARRIAGE?

Sorry for the caps, didnt know it was on jare

FL Gators:

sHE'S 23, SHE'S ALSO A STUDENT.

sO tHE MAN QUESTION IS, WHY IS SHE PERSISTENT ON MARRIAGE?

The only conclusion I can come up with is her FEAR. She's afraid of losing the bobo due to what her friends/maybe family are saying.

guy me sef i be student and i know how difficult it can be to skate by.  schoo fees sef no gree pay.  the green monsters here almost wiped out calgrant, FML thank God they didn't. you carry yasef come abroad now, you need to settle down n get a job, pay rent, focus on school, .  tell her not to kill you wit apatension

I dont blame her, she must have heard experiences of men who promised heaven and earth . . . went for masters in the US and decided to marry US citizens.

oyinda.:

the girl is a graduate too according to the op.  i'm sure she can work, if she's not already working.
posakosa that's too harsh.lol i wouldn't want random posters calling my fiance that

its not my fault ooh, like someone said

TOYOSI20:

hes dotted all the "I's" an crossed all the "T's" in ma opinion, so its up to her

What else does she want?!

davidylan:

I dont blame her, she must have heard experiences of men who promised heaven and earth . . . went for masters in the US and decided to marry US citizens.

G B A M!

davidylan:

I dont blame her, she must have heard experiences of men who promised heaven and earth . . . went for masters in the US and decided to marry US citizens.

Very soon she'll hear "I just need to get my papers from this woman, dont worry"

then after 3 kids with the "green paper woman"

"dont worry I will soon divorce her"


If you truly cared, you'd fine a way for her to also do her Masters in the states or UK, whichever

FL Gators:

sHE'S 23, SHE'S ALSO A STUDENT.

sO tHE MAN QUESTION IS, WHY IS SHE PERSISTENT ON MARRIAGE?

Guy she's not a student. she's working right now.

klassyguy:

I know she's missing me badly. This is a girl that was weeping like a baby the day b4 i left, wen i gave her the ring. My younger bro even told her that it was good she didn't follow me to the airport. I told her then that no matter what, God sparing our lives, once i finish, i'm coming back for her. I send her mails every now and then, cards, texts, etc.

awwwwwww
but for real. distance ruins plenty of relationships. i don't think i need to be telling u dis. lol so i'll just tell u to stay strong. since I don't know her or know her side of the story i can only say that she's being inconsiderate or a little selfish in this situation but i'm sure she doesn't mean to be.

I have a friend as well sort of in her situation except she's the one abroad. they fight a lot but their relationship is really tight ie she says he doesn't contact her enough etc even though they talk almost everyday lol but she so much loves him and cries sometimes that i feel really bad since she's my really good friend. i totally understand the pain so yea that's long distance relationship for u.

I really don't know what other advice to give you. maybe u can call her family once in a while to say hi like once a month or twice or so or get closer to them. so maybe she will start to understand that ur serious about being a family with her.

ThiefOfHearts:

Very soon she'll hear "I just need to get my papers from this woman, dont worry"

then after 3 kids with the "green paper woman"

"dont worry I will soon divorce her"


If you truly cared, you'd fine a way for her to also do her Masters in the states or UK, whichever

And u think i hadn't thot of that as well? b4 i even left naija, i had told her that i wuld have loved it if we could come here together. but wen she brought up the issue of her not leaving the country with a man whom she is not married to, we decided that i just go and finish up.

C2H5OH:

 the green monsters here almost wiped out calgrant,

i read that in the news abt ur schools there lol.

klassyguy:

Guy she's not a student. she's working right now.

Ok then.
Like they said, if you truly care, help her get her papers to work here.

But ile aiye le o!
I understand her stance. . . . and how are you so sure she won't leave you when she gets here?

oyinda.:

awwwwwww
but for real. distance ruins plenty of relationships. i don't think i need to be telling u dis. lol so i'll just tell u to stay strong. since I don't know her or know her side of the story i can only say that she's being inconsiderate or a little selfish in this situation but i'm sure she doesn't mean to be.

I have a friend as well sort of in her situation except she's the one abroad. they fight a lot but their relationship is really tight ie she says he doesn't contact her enough etc even though they talk almost everyday lol but she so much loves him and cries sometimes that i feel really bad since she's my really good friend. i totally understand the pain so yea that's long distance relationship for u.

I really don't know what other advice to give you. maybe u can call her family once in a while to say hi like once a month or twice or so or get closer to them. so maybe she will start to understand that ur serious about being a family with her.

Baby, i do that too. i talk to her sisters, her brother, i even call her mom every now and then and she too calls me once in a while.

FL Gators:

Ok then.
Like they said, if you truly care, help her get her papers to work here.

But ile aiye le o!
I understand her stance. . . .  and how are you so sure she won't leave you when she gets here?

exactament!

The chic isnt immature, she's simply aware of what can go wrong when 2 people who love each other live apart from each other for so long. She's used to having the dude practically as a husband even though they arent married. she's probably finding it hard to cope without seeing him around.

If i were you i'd have done the introduction and gone for masters with her.