I hope this story has not been made up even though these things happen in life. However, stories like this smacks of selfishness and total lack of respect by the poster. Why marry someone you do not love? Unfortunately many marriages today are built on the superficialities of wealth, beauty, visa and everything you will find in the long list of reasons why people are getting married other than love. Cut off all links with your ex and plan having kids with your husband. Stop living in the past, you really need to move on, life is too short!

Jeny Y

I have a feeling you are looking for sympathy. You'll get none from me.

You should have thought things through the first time. Just as you made up your mind to marry someone you now claim you don't love,
so also find a solution. If a car, house is broken, you fix it and not just go get a new one because its better. The grass is always greener
on the other side, till you get there.

meerkat:

[color=Black]@Jeny

What you need is just one more time of love makin.

Crude Oil:

Simple .If he is ready for marriage you can divorce your husband and get married to your best fiend.
If that would make you happy.
Its a free world.

OMG!. . .Oh boy see advisers oo!!_{holy ghost fire!>>>}

I remember vividly when this very rich dude was toasting my sis ,infact not ordinary toasting but begging her to marry him . It was a funny thing because my sister didn't like the guy but he on his part was trying his best to convince my sis.Always came to our house everyday to take my sister out to different joints 4m TFC today to CHICKEN REPUBLIC tomorrow and sweetsensation next tomorrow, bigtreat the next, and on and on and on. And she was always bringing loads of icecream, chicken,meatpie,burger and on some occassions cash 4 her beloved brother(me)at home. i must confess i really enjoyed those days. And the funniest thing was that the guy wasn't tired of spending, he kept on coming even after my sister had told him that it wasn't going to work. It took the intervention of my dad and the guy's uncle before the guy had to let go. Abeg which kind love be that ? I m still wondering what the marriage would have turned into by now if she married that guy.Wouldnt she(my sister) have been a wicked girl if she married the guy ?

So it is true eh? I had been thinking before now that things like this only happens in movies - those featuring Emeka Ike and Ini Edo,

@Poster,
The ball is in ur court, you have the right to either play with ur left foot, right foot or even both provided you won't regret your actions in the nearest future,

But come to think of it; Ladies, if you find out that your husband had been busy sending sms and calling his ex due to whatever he might have enjoyed while the offer relationship lasted, how would you feel?

Na wao for some ladies sha,

Actually, this is very common and you end up with people banging outside marriage soon after the wedding.
It's just people being self-centered and impatiently rushing into a union with the 'wrong' person.

It's a hard issue to resolve because sometimes people think that they have  'gone to a place' with someone where no other can take them and want that to continue.
It actually drives some people crazy if they are 'stuck' with someone else.

She can only try to get over the friend AND THAT FRIEND CAN HELP BY STAYING AWAY AND NOT HANG AROUND LIKE A WOLF.

@ warfy boy , U no go kill me with laughter

Its just human for you to feel that way but also consider the consequences. I think what you need is to try and work on your marriage and concentrate on those things that made you accept to marry your husband in the first place. Also pray for God to give you the grace to love your husband more everyday.
The grass is always greener on the other other side, You might not know what you have untill you loose it

I wish the hostility being expressed by folks on this thread to the poster is backed up by the reality. But it is not.

The truth is that most Naija boys cheat, some naija women also cheat.

Even those who claim to love their partners especially men cheat sometimes.

There is no need making the poster feel her case is isolated, it is not.

That is disgusting. You know you were in love with your best friend and you went to marry another man. And you gave the flimsy excuse that he was not ready. Why did you not wait for him? What did your husband do that made you marry him when in your mind you loved your best friend. You must have been very desperate to get married or your husband must have been very rich for you to want to marry him in such a hurry. Only for you after you've gotten married to start thinking about your best friend and pestering his life and even thinking of seducing your best friend. You are a very shallow and inconsiderate person. I wonder what you were telling your best friend while you were dating your husband.
Shine your eyes ooooooo!! Do not deceive yourself!!! Stay with your husband because One day your best friend will find his mrs RIGHT and then you'll really see that he'll ignore you. And you'll be left with nothing if you leave your husband.

way forward- cut off all contacts with your "best friend" and try to focus on your marriage and what you love about your husband, spend more time with him, with time you'll get over your best friend. No need running away from a problem, face it and conquer it, lets be truthful, temptations like this happen in marriages no matter how much you love your partner you'll come across someone you are attracted to someday but it all depends on your will power and how much you are willing to make your marriage work. a successful marriage doesn't just fall from heaven, you need to make it work. don't give in to lust, discipline your mind!

This is a simple advice: If you dont want to step ona man's shoes, put yourself in his shoes.

Another mad dog in the house,
Nigerian movies part 1, Whatch out for part 2
Jenny finally divoirced her husband and got married to her ex boyfriend,
Abeg go sleep, sleep dey catch you,

u ve to choose between your husband and your best friend. if your best friend loves as much as u love him, then the best thing will be for u to leave ur husband and marry him. but first, u ve to ask God to guide u cos wot is the assurance that u ll not get tired of ur best friend as  soon as u get married to him or how sure are u that he still loves u as much as u do after u betrayed him by marrying another person just because he was not ready to get married when u were.u ve to think and decide and make the best choice thatu are comfortable with cos extra marital affairs is not advisable and is surely disgraceful and embarrasing when one is caught.

LOOLLLL. Jeny-Y. Common.   In all honesty. You really dont think life will allow you eat your cake and have it, whilst hurting other people do you?? Common. Get real. Tidy up.
The fact that youre thinking of having a thing with this guy is already adultry, cos youre married.

Im not into judging people cos 'as long as youre not wearing the shoe, you cant know where it hurts'. And he who is without sin should cast the first stone.
But its not what we do, its how we do things that matter. Come clean and tidy up properly before you destroy your husbands trust in women and human beings completely. , that is if its not too late already!

@ post

i think the topic should read "Married But Still in Lust with My Best friend"

Just forget him and make your marrige work. I am sure that your friend is already dating someone.
I bet it will not be funny if she finds out you a married woman is trying to seduce him, Be Warned.

this is how they start the adultery life,your own case wouldn't be like the woman jesus told the people to pardon by not throwing stone at her but in your own, we will surely stone you to dealth and burnt your body to ashes or take you to Zamfare for Sharia Judgement if you commit adultery, Why did you marry at first if you know you don't love the one you get married too, or did you married because they guy chase you around with expensive car or the money with him,You better stick to your man useless Lady and never post dirty post here again, any adulterous woman now will be stone to dealth

C'mon guys. . . There are many things about the poster we dont know. Whilst there is a chance that selfishness on her part may have led to this, there are other possibilities, e.g arranged forced marriage, immaturity at the time of marriage (which may lead to her succumbing to family pressure), coupled with the guy's unpreparedness. We dont also know about how she is being treated by the man she is presently married to. Thus, I dont think it's right to 'criminalize' her for the way she feels. We are human and sinful by default. If she wants to be selfish and adulterous, she would not be seeking advice or counsel on this forum.

@poster
Having said the foregoing, I think you need to take responsibility for the committment you have made by getting married. The following might help:

1. Think about this situation in the sense of all the people involved and not just yourself -your family, your husband's family. your best friend and his family and God (if you believe in God). Thinking about people that will be affected, I believe, will give you a sense of perspective.

2. Like other posters have said, force your self to cut off communication with your best friend. Lose his number, delete his email address, remove his photos. Now this is drastic, i agree, but drastic situations call for drastic measures. I have personally done this myself after a break up and I know it is not easy, but it helps.

3. Have an honest discussion with your husband about this. Now, this one depends, cos something tells me that you are not in the best of relationships with your husband. To a large extent you will not feel this way if the expectation you had when you married him has been met. But assuming you still have a normal relationship with your husband, then the right thing to do is to have an honest conversation with him. Things like this grow when they are covered.

4. Pray about it (again if you believe in God and in prayer and after you have done what you should do yourself). Why pray? Because you want God to orchestrate circumstances such that your path and the path of your best friend will not cross. Sometimes we do the right thing, not because we want to, but because God himself is leading us in the path of righteousness for his name's sake.

u made a vow, stick to it.u are past 18 so u knew what you were getting into, do u really think ur "best friend" will ever marry u?

@ lax89, I believe this is the same advice u'll give 2 ur sister if she were faced in the same position ?

LAX89:

My dear, life's toooooooooo short to deprive yourself of anything, so long as its legal. If you have the hots for this your your 'friend', just do him once and see how you feel afterwards. As for your husband, poor bastard, thats his luck. Can anyone guarantee that he's not diddling some broad somewhere nice and quiet. I say again, life's toooooooooooooooooo short, when in doubt, do.

Am gutted!!!!

Lets analyse this situation critically.Didn't u and your present husband court at all? Didn't he see or notice these unagreeable interactions between u and your 'friend'? .My girlfriend has an ex and early into the relatnshp was giving me bullshit about she and the guy being friends.  Tafiakpwa! I disallowed it  . You do not sleep with your roof on fire, neither do you guard boiled fish with a cat. Iru ore wo ni okunrin n ba obirin she? a married woman for that matter? It is wrong to castigate her cos she's only human with blood in her veins and hormones controlling her emotions. I can't really advise you. I would blame your husband for being the dog that carried another dog's bone and not being vigilant enough to study her thoroughly b4 marriage.

can't blame her. sounds wet already.

mmmmm i sorry for you, you had better stopped that silly infactuation before you lose your marriage. he wasnt ready then, why didnt you wait for him? like i said you had better killed that promiscuity in your right now or you will live to regret it forerver. having a babe for him is but a fantasy so keep ur head up and save ur marraige. if i be your husband and get to find out about your intentions mmmmmm na there the marraige go for end. marrying for money or whatever is one thing and being happy in that marraige is another thing. my dear, you are just being selfish

@Topic

This is why i have continuously hammered on NL that THERE IS NO WAY A MAN AND WOMAN CAN BE "JUST FRIENDS" unless :

(1)The guy is impotent
(2)The guy is poor
(3)One or both parties are unattractive
(4)One or both parties are gay.

See the result of just being "friends" (with benefits if i might add)

@Poster

You are doomed! Why?Coz you are the selfish type that thinks of no one else but yourself.What advice do you seek on NL when you have already made up your mind to cheat on your husband.You even have the audacity to say you wish you had a baby for him.You dey craze.By the time your husband finds out, even that guy you think about night and day will live you.

Simple advice : Close that hole in between your legs and face your marriage.Ashewo!!

mccloud224:

@Topic

This is why i have continuously hammered on NL that THERE IS NO WAY A MAN AND WOMAN CAN BE "JUST FRIENDS" unless :

(1)The guy is impotent
(2)The guy is poor
(3)One or both parties are unattractive
(4)One or both parties are gay.

See the result of just being "friends" (with benefits if i might add)

@Poster

You are doomed! Why?Coz you are the selfish type that thinks of no one else but yourself.What advice do you seek on NL when you have already made up your mind to cheat on your husband.You even have the audacity to say you wish you had a baby for him.You dey craze.By the time your husband finds out, even that guy you think about night and day will live you.

Simple advice : Close that hole in between your legs and face your marriage.Ashewo!!

two lmaos

@mccloud224

I wouldn't advice her to close her legs o!
what about her husband? Won't she satisfy him??

mccloud224:

@Topic

This is why i have continuously hammered on NL that THERE IS NO WAY A MAN AND WOMAN CAN BE "JUST FRIENDS" unless :

(1)The guy is impotent
(2)The guy is poor
(3)One or both parties are unattractive
(4)One or both parties are gay.

See the result of just being "friends" (with benefits if i might add)

@Poster

You are doomed! Why?Coz you are the selfish type that thinks of no one else but yourself.What advice do you seek on NL when you have already made up your mind to cheat on your husband.You even have the audacity to say you wish you had a baby for him.You dey craze.By the time your husband finds out, even that guy you think about night and day will live you.

Simple advice : Close that hole in between your legs and face your marriage.Ashewo!!

@Winnergal

Her heart and hole is interested in someone else than her husband.I feel sorry for the guy.This poster has already made up her mind on what she wants to do.Her coming on NL is to "justify" her actions.

nuff has been said already!

I might just add that if U go ahead and ignore ur husband and bone this good friend, your friend will or think of doing a similar thing 2 you, cos he will never look at you in the same way even when he wants to.

Time kills all feelings btw!