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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband (43801 Views)
This Couple Graduated From High School In 2015, Got Married And Bought A House / She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? / I Didnt Like My Dad When I Was A Kid And Still Dont Like Him Now I'm Grown Up (2) (3) (4)
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Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by SycophanticGoat: 5:43pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
2dugged: Hmmm.. Your step mum seems nice.. Some would have caused enmity in the family and may even go about fighting whoever they see with their husband. |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by Nobody: 5:45pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
SycophanticGoat:yea,she is,mean men like my dad always had good and calm women from my mum to my step mum |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by gsharp12(m): 5:46pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
my dear, i so much feel ur pain, moreover u must bear in mind that nothing just happens.. there is wat i call countenance, and believe me my sister, there is a spirit responsible for such.. if u doubt me ask david wat came over Saul dat made his countenance changed anytime he played the musical harp...? my dear go spiritual there's a spirit that changes a man's countenance from good to bad.. he sees nothing good in anything u do. this is a secret i'm giving u.. pray ur way out of this. if u think a marriage counselor will do u a favor, then run to God who is the chief institutor of marriage. my dear dont take ds lightly or else very soon, u will wish u had taking a step of faith by seeking God at this moment. God bless you. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by sats: 5:52pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
OP i no see anything about forking for your post o, how many times a week do you collect the dick? Increase the frequency, come back and share your experience |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by SycophanticGoat: 5:53pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
2dugged: Them tell you say them no geh sense?? Just like one of my uncles, the man wife dares not say a word when he's talking. She fears him to death. That man, na double - double him dey carry for woman outside oh.. My sis, bro and cousins have seen him on several occasions at eateries and night clubs with two hot chicks on each ocassion.. Calm guys like me will then be left with fire-women.. |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by Nobody: 5:56pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
SycophanticGoat:na so we see am o,opposites always attract |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by OmoBety(f): 6:22pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
joey150: You're right. I understand how she feels. I married a hard core narcissist but I'll survive. |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by lanreni: 6:32pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
HungerBAD: It is clear both of you were not compatible from day 1. he was probably moved (deceived) by your romantic (playful side), while you were probably attracted to his manly(physical and financial security) side. these are superficial qualities. he percieves you as a scatterbrained person who is low in real intellectual engaging discussion. you have to show him your intellectual side by studying what he likes best or his job description/industry. he id attracted to intelligent people. you must always show this to keep winning his heart and save your marraige from generating into infidelitu. God help you. 1 Like |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by DUOz(m): 6:44pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
Crap crap and some more crap. I keep telling people i keep showing people d illustrations are endless, scape goats Why do ppl care so much abt marriage. Abt love and all dese commitment crap. Dont u see dat it brings notin but pain nd hurt nd despair i mean look at dis young Lady who is literally living a hell of a life in d name of marriage nd love.what a mess miss Op tell me for a second u avnt wished u neva set eyes on ur sadist of a husband And yet someone will see dis post nd still walk down d fúckin aisle dis Saturday. Isn't dat how dey define foolishness. Doing d same tin nd expecting different results. Well i dont bliv in love nd certainly not marriage cuz i see everyday dat all it brings is pain But as for u i think deres no going back now. The deed is done u mite as well just enjoy it while it last. U neva know wen it will all disappear in a flash. Afterall not everyone will have d privilege lifes too short for regrets trust me |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by wadetaw202: 6:45pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
eeewise: The only way forward is that singles should date before marriage and not go blindly into a marriage. The op couldn't claim ignorance about the man at the start. She should deal with it. Didn't she know the man before agreeing to marry him? How would she agree to marry a man without knowing him properly? Was she blind or something? Or was she a kid that never knew what she was doing? It is her cross and she should carry it. |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by wadetaw202: 6:56pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
Babztemmy: You just nailed it; it was a marriage of convenience. You married him because he gave you everything you asked for. That,my lady, is a myopic reason to gfet married. unfortunately, you will have to live with it. 2 months of dating? Hmmmmm. 1 Like |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by kpolli(m): 6:57pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
Babztemmy: What's the age difference between you and your husband? 1 Like |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by Babamama: 7:01pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
The man is rich, and the money is entering his head. |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by lanreni: 7:16pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
Babztemmy:Secondly, always arguing with a man who feels intellectually superior will always have a negative outcome. he is more logical and you seem to be more emotional. he may deeply love you, but feel if he keeps showing you that side of him, you might take advantage of it to disrespect him.you have to find a way to be respectful romantically, i.e not losing who are, but at thesame time, giving him what he wants. ask him how he wants to be touched, addressed and respected without sounding argumentative (you must study his moods to know when to raise issues. i percieve he is also a critical person). but make sure you do the first thing in my ealier post. you must show you can handle issues logically (intellectually), not emotionally.try and listen to him more to be able to contribute intellectually to his train of thoughts.because you have to prove to him first that you undetstand his points before you quietly ( stylishly ) chip in yours.better still, you can do a rsearch about it (google, etc). in that way, he will see you as a someone he can talk and confide in.his emotions will be naturally fired up, without you having to nag about how he doesn't show affection. they key is being respectfully romantic!! this means you must make it a lifelong lesson to control your emotions and channel it towards intellectual harmony. forget the rules of compatibility after five years.its a lifelong journey. throw away the clock and try to understand him day by day. don't bother yourself too much about his side. just be committed on your own side to make it work. God bless and help you. ensure you also ask God to help you always. the power of a woman is not how well you talk to him, but how well you talk with him and about him to God. thank you. peace. 1 Like |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by Sayelabola(m): 7:17pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
HungerBAD: OP is immature. She ain't ready for marriage. The man married her maybe because she was pretty (but unknown to him that she has underdevelop brain). A child lives to play, so does the OP. Until she allow maturity to step into her schedule, she might continue to find it tough to handle. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by xendra: 7:19pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
kpolli:that's one question I also wanted to ask the OP plus wasn't he like this before the marriage? why complain now? if I know anyone like this my advice will be stop expecting this type to change or you keep having issues. it is you who will have to adapt. get use to it. maybe its just not his style. you can still enjoy yourself in his company without getting him involved By the way Ode is not a word couples should use for each other no matter how dem play reach, even I won't take it. 1 Like |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by demola2100: 7:38pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
and who told you that the first 3 years is the time for argument, my dear you are wrong! 2 Likes |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by Iphesure212(m): 7:47pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
idrissunny:What?! |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by NwaGodl1000(m): 8:42pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
I dont think there is any problem wit your hubby but the problem is you. You have known that he desires respect more than love itself why wont you adore him that or is so big for you to do |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by LordaGuru: 9:47pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
Babamama:His Money entered into her eyes and head u mean to say?! Birds of a feather. Just like you, this lady is covetousness personified! She married the guy because of his money. Now she's looking for justification to do the next wickedness on her mind; using the guys money to lure a supposed good-listener guy into infidelity she craves for. She probably already has one of her numerous old boyfriends on mind. This wonderful husband works his arse out daily to provide all your lazy-lousy butts' needs and still manage to fvck you so hard at nights instead of sleeping and resting as deserved. YET you still come here ranting?! You want a perfect man; a man that has EVERYTHING. You refused to accept and love him with his imperfections like you don't know that NoBoDY is perfect. Women!!! Most are simply insatiable! I feel so sorry for your wonderful husband. Truth be told; he deserves a much better wife than you heartless bbitch! 3 Likes |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by kaboninc(m): 10:04pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
The husband is on this forum. Just a little digging will give you more insight on who the op really is. |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by SycophanticGoat: 10:12pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
kaboninc: Abeg tell us make we hear.. Who be the husband...? Is LordaGuru, her husband...? 2 Likes |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by kaboninc(m): 10:19pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
SycophanticGoat: Go through her profile bro. One mouthcuffed guy or something like that |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by Gus57(m): 10:26pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
I really hate such scenarios.... But unfortunately, it is already too far gone to be dwelling on the past. At the very least, you can see that a lack of foundation has come full circle to haunt you. You can't change a man-that's a conclusion he has to arrive at by his own damn self. Getting married doesn't mean everything will fall into place-you have to work at it-really, really hard!!!! You need to first sit down and make a core decision: what is the best version of you? Your husband is not the definition of you-you define yourself. As a child of divorce, I know how far-reaching the decision you make has consequences, with or without children involved. You deserve to be happy first before you can share that to the ones you love. Rather than focus on the flaws, look for the beauty and build on them. Go on a journey of self-discovery and discover him from scratch whilst evolving yourself. The other alternative though maybe not what you would want to hear: get the hell out of there rather spend the rest of your days in misery! Life is so much more than that! Either way, make sure it is a decision that gives you peace-and one you can live with. |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by SycophanticGoat: 10:26pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
kaboninc: Post links na.. I no fit do that kind FBI job ni... |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by kaboninc(m): 10:30pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
SycophanticGoat: Try joor. She no too regular here |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by loshybab(m): 10:31pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
Babzilla:As true as ds ur comment is,many wl still ignore and say it's ur opinion But what cn men do than to leave victims wt deir miseries mostly influenced by bad western ideas. Now OP! Follow HungerBAD and placeofallure pieces of advice.....coz dey got the points!!! |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by SycophanticGoat: 10:36pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
kaboninc: I rather sleep instead.. My spirit done sleep finish, na just my body dey NL oh.. Good night bro |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by Babztemmy: 10:47pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
placeofallure:Yes I work. I run a creche. As for keeping 3rd parties off I do that as much as possible. But he always discussed me with his mum and sister. And when I ask why cause I feel it's not a safe idea. He says he wants them to pray for me, but it's unconciously keeping this people day from me. Am sure they would pray but don't forget am an inlaw. They would always look at me with the mistakes my hubby reports to them. |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by Babztemmy: 11:10pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
iPopAlomo:My husband is 31, am 28. |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by EternalBeing: 11:19pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
Gus57: What happened to for better for worse? GOD hates divorce! The guy is not womanizing, he's not Poor, not even that he's a wife-beater or trying to use her for money rituals. Why on GOD's green Earth would you advise her to divorce. Watch your soul before you find yourself in hellfire. Even if you are hell-bent on going to hell, don't take her with you. My sister, I'll teach you what works 100% (provided you are not filled with pride). Wait for a night that you both ended happily. Wake him up by 1:00am pleading that you need to discuss something very important with him. Go on your knees and ask him why he doesn't believe that you truly love him. Burst into tears (should be easy if you deeply think about how hard you want him to know) and ceaselessly tell him and affirm that you can NEVER love or be happy marrying any other guy apart from him. Tell him that when you took the marriage vow, you gave him the totality of your body, heart and soul. By then, he would already have teary eyes if not already crying. Tell him that the marriage can be much more fulfilling and become an exemplary motivating type that upcoming youths and other singles would see and pray to have such. You then explain all you desire him to do and promise never again to disrespect him. Your marriage shall excel and be fulfilling in all ramifications of Life IJN. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: It's Going To 5years I Got Married And I Still Dont Feel Close To My Husband by placeofallure(f): 11:37pm On Aug 08, 2016 |
Babztemmy: Fine, if that is the case, warm yourself to your mother-in-law's heart. Whatever your husband says to her about you will hold no water. I knew a woman, she is a public figure if I mention her name, you'd know her. She had fertility challenges in her marriage for over 12 years but do you know what kept her in the marriage? Her MIL. Even when her husband was wavering, She insisted her son must keep hope with her. On her death bed, she told her son, whatever happens, you must keep this woman in this house. Her only regret when she eventually had her twin babies was that her MIL was late at the time. She cried her heart out about this. Imagine the level of closeness. You can achieve that, can't you. Please just try, only you know why you're doing that. |
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