So more people belong to my school of thought?  

Another nursery school in progress. . .

I think Im going to open a new thread called: why are men so abusive?
If a girl says something you dont agree to (and we all dont have to agree), must you abuse her? And resort to highly degrading remarks?
Ive been on threads where 98% of the contributions were from ladies (eg Winter Jackets) and msot of us had different opinions and disagreed with eachother, but never resorted to insulting one another. You people should please read the thread topics before contributing or quarelling about completely off thread stuff.

@Poster (finally I address you ), men thats the way to go girl. Drop all the hulabaloo and do the whole private thing.
I want a garden wedding with closest friends. Friends who really love me.
Ive noticed the biggest weddings in nigeria are the one's with the least chance of success.

@ poster

If you have the backbone for it, and your Fiance is in full support, have the type of wedding YOU want.  Don't let others strong-arm you into something you don't want or you will regret it.

If you could have it in church and have it the way you want - which, from what you're saying, you won't - that's fine.  If there will be too many compromises, then a court wedding it is. 

Be very clear in your decision and reasoning with your families, what you want out of your wedding and why you want a small intimate wedding. It's about you and your husband, not family wishes or preferences.

Church officers or not, if they want a church wedding then let them go there to renew their vows/get married, you do what's best for you.  Good luck!

all this thing about it being ur life and its your business, sorry i hate to burst your bubble but in Nigeria, MARRIAGE IS MORE THAN A UNION BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE(INDIVIDUALS) ,but a union between TWO FAMILIES, thats y the word in-laws.

cos in the end disputes are settled by the two families.

wedding in NIGERIA, is more than vow taking.
its a celebration of their children decision to pick a partner.

so stop bin selfish and do this to fufill your parents desire to see the fruits of their labour materialize!!!!!

rita@NL:

Your hatred for xtanity makes you display how small your brain capacity is sometimes,you reason like a house-fly.
what has trinity and marrying a muslim gat to do with this topic ?
Guess Abu-goat has bin fingerin you with his leprosy hands and its really affectin your mouth.
If you cant give good advice to the poster,go back to your Abu-cow and av a nice fhock with his uncircum d**k.

I believe your location info. . . trust me  

U are free to do your wedding in anyway you like it provided you are in agreement with your spouse. I am sad that some guys here are just talking anyhow on this topic. Let me say that there is nothing strange about you choosing a quiet wedding. Sudden people are growing wiser everyday. The church wedding is turning to something else for both the church and the society here in Naija. Some wise folks, even though they are doing church wedding these days find ways to make it quiet in celebration. I have seen many friends who have all the money to lavish around for a so called Nigerian Church wedding' yet they settled for a quiet wedding and did everything in the registry with few friends and priest in attendance. One of such wedding I attended was quite simple and cute. Can you think about choosing a wedding time of 3.pm Wednesday evening? That is a desicion somebody chose and it worked for him.
Most ladies want big wedding just to show off to the world that somebody has married them or to beat the glamour of one friend's wedding or the other there by putting their man in one tight situation after the wedding. I know of one lady that is unmarried today simply because she wanted her wedding to be published in Ovation magazine and the man didn't fancy that idea. Come to think of it bringing a large crowd draws so enemies near you and you never know who is who and after wedding a lot of awful stories from nowhere will follow the families,

Though there is nothing with big wedding or big church wedding especially when u have a enough money to throw around and your social status can carry it as well, afterall, 2011 general election is coming close and Nigerian politicians at different levels will soon be flying around looking for wedding to attend a a mark of connecting and showing themselves on NTA Sunday Newsline in their political area. But we need to realize that wedding and how we do it should be our own individual decision and not always how the society is imposing it on us. We should be more concerned about life after wedding. I think marriage is the only institution u enter and receive ur first class honours award certificate amidst pomp and pageantry, with plenty congratulatory messages even before the course starts and wedding to me appears to be the convocation ceremony before the course is started!

@kobikwelu. . . . Sorry to burst your bubble but its optional. We're going past those days when people did things so others would be happy.
Thats what used to happen in the 'village'.
These days people are sent to school and our parents spend good money so we can develop ourselves. The result? We all end up being individulas (thank God) and each one gradually learns he or she should be considerate but also undestand that you are responsible for yourself.

And so if you sir get married and expect your parents to be the one's to settle arguments between you and your wife, after they have brought you up to full manhood, sent you to school so your future will be bright, and catered for you when you were ill,  if after all this you still expect these same parents who are to be in retirement enjoying themselves somewhere, to come and be settling arguments and telling you in what church to marry or what dress to wear (when youre not 10), well then good luck to you.
A man who cant handle his woman or the women in his life on his own needs to look himself in the mirror and do some soul-searching!

and before the arrows start flying, (cos i kno say bad belle go start dey attack),


when i mean celebration of wedding, i did not say u take a loan to do a "CITY WEDDING"-where the whole town will know.

all i am saying is that it should be befitting and a once in a life time thing with, memories-( what will you tell your kids??)

not making it seem as if its a burial.

i tot as much, that peeps will kick back.(madame rosabell)

And so if you sir get married and expect your parents to be the one's to settle arguments between you and your wife, after they have brought you up to full manhood, sent you to school so your future will be bright, and catered for you when you were ill, if after all this you still expect these same parents who are to be in retirement enjoying themselves somewhere, to come and be settling arguments and telling you in what church to marry or what dress to wear (when youre not 10), well then good luck to you.


then why are ur parents dressed and beaming smiles when u are getting married?? , even though its your day, its also their day.more than 70percent of guests at the wedding are their friends and colleagues.

look,

dont get me rung!!!


they will not be there to breast feed u, but they will always remain your parents, if not why did u bring your spouse to them for approval and blessing?

why didnt u pick the first person u saw and get married in another state, and start living without any link to your families.

why do u do invite your inlaw to take kia of the infant baby shortly after childbirth


the point here is that they are a factor in your lives. (am not saying that they control ur lives)

Theres no big deal in that,

@Rosobelle
your last comment is so beautiful, one of the finest post you have ever made in Nairaland in if you ask me.

@Radiant
How can I ever meet you in person? I guess you are knowledgeable and an awesome person with a working brain!

@ Kobikwelu . . . I get you. But 'befitting' doesnt mean 'plenty'.
Each one will find his or her definition of the word.
And as to what I'd tell my children? Well my parents had 11 people at their wedding. Funny? No.
My father was brought up to understand that in life, there are very few people who will run to your side when you are in need and without you having to ask. Those people are your friends and you should only celebrate with friends. My parents have been married 40yrs
He brought us up the same way. My oldest sister got married and there were just 53 people at her wedding(mind you our family alone makes up about 13 of those 53). My oldest brother had 28 guests at his wedding.
Private and sweet. And their partners still brag about their weddings today (10 and 7 yrs respectively later).
So it doesnt have to big big and wild to have memories. Save your money so your children can go to very good schools  

kobikwelu:

i tot as much, that peeps will kick back.(madame rosabell)
then why are your parents dressed and beaming smiles when u are getting married?? , even though its your day, its also their day.more than 70percent of guests at the wedding are their friends and colleagues.
look, dont get me rung!!!
they will not be there to breast feed u, but they will always remain your parents, if not why did u bring your spouse to them for approval and blessing?
why didnt u pick the first person u saw and get married in another state, and start living without any link to your families.
why do u do invite your inlaw to take kia of the infant baby shortly after childbirth
the point here is that they are a factor in your lives. (am not saying that they control your lives)

Are you just seeing I was the one you wrote the first reply to ? looolll
Ehen. So to reply to this comment. Parents are most defnitely important in our lives. But we should live our own lives when we are adults and not live that community life of the village where everyone is involved in everyone's life.
And as to carrying children to an inlaw. Bear in mind, if this is done where you come from, it must not mean its done everywhere.
My mother was there to deliver all her five grandchildren when they were born, but aside from that, she only gave advice when asked.
She works, is a busy woman and had no time to sit in anyone's house taking care of their chidren, because according to her, she wont bring up her own children and then still bring up her grandlchildren. What then did she bring up her children to be adults for if not for them to be responsible for themselves?

rosabelll

then i guess  we are in agreement


but atleast celebrate it!!!thats all i know

lollll

And as to carrying children to an inlaw. Bear in mind, if this is done where you come from, it must not mean its done everywhere.
My mother was there to deliver all her five grandchildren when they were born, but aside from that, she only gave advice when asked.
She works, is a busy woman and had no time to sit in anyone's house taking care of their chidren, because according to her, she wont bring up her own children and then still bring up her grandlchildren. What then did she bring up her children to be adults for if not for them to be responsible for themselves?


u are still getting me rung!!!

in our place its tradition "OMUGWO" the grandmother takes kia of her grandchild for a period of a week till the mother gets her strenght fully back.!!! after this, the grandmother ends her visit!!!!

she does not assume total ownership of the child!!!oooo

i love it quiet too,, infact have discussed with my finace, its our choice

kobikwelu:


u are still getting me rung!!!
in our place its tradition "OMUGWO" the grandmother takes kia of her grandchild for a period of a week till the mother gets her strenght fully back.!!! after this, the grandmother ends her visit!!!!
she does not assume total ownership of the child!!!oooo

Actually I didnt get you wrong. I know what youre talking about cos my mum is Ibo. But even that one week she didnt do, cos today, we have hospitals and prenatal-care. Today a woman doesnt loose as much blood as she used back in the day (which would have caused her weekness). If she has prenatal care etc.
And so basically a girl can leave hospital a day after birth and just be a little tired, but as long as there are no complications, she'd be fine.
I got your point and you had agreed we agree now, ehn oga?

@ poster
you can still do a church wedding without calling the whole world
if your partner and family agrees you can just go and make your vows in the presence of God
that was the essence of church weddings before it got abused
all the best!

"Getting married in church does not equal a large crowd of well wishers and haters and all 'em road blocking head ties. You can still exchange vows before a priest and have your families around to witness."

The quote above (by Radiant) is radiating with wisdom . The way your topic was worded made it appear like you dislike consecrating your marriage in church. Meanwhile the post clarified your meaning (I hope, ) in which case, I'm all for the advice above. People could feel funny if you have something against the spiritual ceremony in particular

Because everyone is getting married in the church doesnt mean you should! Go babe.

So where will you get married? In your Room?

Church wedding is good, but it depends on the number of peeps u invited. I hate over crowded wedding.

Church wedding is good, but it depends on the number of peeps u invited. I hate over crowded wedding.

Joe50:

Church wedding is good, but it depends on the number of peeps u invited. I hate over crowded wedding.

What's your definition of an overcrowded wedding? A Small Church full of people than it can carry or a large church with over 1000 people in it?. . .

NOT TO SOUND BIZARRE, U HAVE ALOT OF OPTIONS, LETS C,
PSYCHIATRIC WARD,
COURT,
MOSQUE,
SHRINE,
FOOTBALL FIELD,
, PUMPKIN, D LIST IS ENDLESS, ITS UR DAY JUST B HAPPY.

@poster

it's not strange; people like you are the ones we've being looking for.

uplawal:

maybe she marrying a muslim,or does not believe in TRINITY again

when will u ever be able to post with a little common sense? 

@poster

that's the way to go girl.We don't have to turn any event in our life's into an owambe show-off party,

i fear for naija!

saintneo:

@poster

it's not strange; people like you are the ones we've being looking for.

honestly u just said it man