YOUR EX IS NOT YOUR FRIEND


Written by Counselor Adofoli


Are you a friend to your Ex? do you talk often? Are you always chatting,
Meeting up, etc? If the answer is yes to any of these questions then the
man or woman you call Ex is not.


You can't be friends with your Ex, and this particular topic is causing a lot
of mayhem in many relationships; one spouse is comfortable talking to
the ex, while the other wonders ‘what at all do they talk about’? Why did
they let that relationship go? Their response is, ‘I can't hate my Ex, he or
she is just a friend’.


Love usually starts from being strangers, to friends, then lovers. Anytime
the love is over, you get back to your default status which is strangers
who are familiar; not enemies and it doesn’t mean you hate your Ex.
Familiar in the sense of what we once had or shared, but the relationship,
feelings and what we once shared is dead. What is left in the archives is
history. Because we are no longer together, there is nothing to talk about
or celebrate for we have learnt our lessons and moved on.


No matter how good a medicine or drug is it can only work best before
death, but after death nothing can be cured. It is same with relationships.
Love is possible after friendship but friendship is not possible after love.
The only time friendship is possible after love is when love is still present
and not gone at all. The only time medicine can cure is when death has
not occurred; if the medicine still works then one is not dead yet or just
pretending to be dead.


Being an Ex means thank you for your time, relationship, love, experience,
memories. We are done and have moved on. This is why you need all the
time to examine your relationship and be sure if you need some space to
think things over or really want to end it. If you don't do this process right,
you always cause trouble for your next relationship.
It even has the power to spark cheating, insecurity or even end your new
relationship prematurely. When there are unresolved conflicts, lack of
affection and satisfaction, one is tempted to go back to the Ex. Anytime
something goes wrong, you are quick to compare your relationship with
what you had with your Ex.


Since attention breeds affections, constant communication with your ex
can start a relationship you never planned. Again, talking to your Ex can
most at times bring back some memories which can send you back into
each other’s arms.


Never make your partner feel insecure if you really love them and want to
be with them. Make them your only one, not your number one with the Ex
on the bench waiting for an opportunity to correct their mistakes or win
your love.


If you can lose someone you never dreamt of losing which is your Ex,
please replace them with someone you never dreamt of having and stick
to them by choice.


In conclusion "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I
am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am
making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland" - Isaiah
43:18-19 (NIV).

OBTSubtle:


I thought he died in an accident?

I wasn't talking abt the dead oooo

OBTSubtle:



Ooh.. We haven't heard about this one

Oohh u don't wanna hear. .

True....









Sha.