The rib you are trying to join together now is not of the same cos from my own experience he that finds a wife found a good thing and will always obtain favor from the lord so in simple english the man or woman that are about to get married are not ment to be together

My sister is a matter of understanding and planning. 5 months ahead is short still long. So two of you can sit together and cut your coath according to the size of the clothe. Plan it according to your income. Some times in this kind of situation, there are much temptaion esp. 'financially'. So pray without seizing and make a budget that will not be a problem to you.

guy,maybe u should tell us your present networth,then we can help u with biz ideas and maybe monthly budget.u should also tell us what u like doing and what u spend at least 2 hours everyday doing.
IF U LIKE BAFF UPS,then u can sell cloths to your church members and pastors. THE ABA GUYS CAN GIVE NAIJA MADE TM LEWIN OR CK TOPS AND SUITES
IF your GIRL MEAN BIZ,SHE CAN LEARN SOMETHING LIKE TAILORING,HAIR DO,SELL MAKE UPS TO CHURCH FRIENDS. 50K CAN START ANY OF THE ABOVE

@POSTER

IF YOU FAIL TO PLAN THEN YOU ARE PLANNING TO FAIL.

YOU AND YOUR HUBBIE ARE ON THE ROAD THAT LEAD TO ETERNAL POVERTY,

WELL MAYBE MIRACLE MAY HAPPEN SHA BUT SISTER LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP, IS NOT EASY

@Bamboke,

I would have loved to give a similar story of someone very close to me but could you please elaborate more on what you do presently before I do that? Tell us exactly what you two do now, especially the guy.

Expecting. . .

Cut your cloth according to your size!

u guyz can chill a bit so as to save more money
but if it cant w8, den do a smallllll wedding ur
money can afford.mom n dad 4rm both sides n
siblings no relatives!!
den u 'l b fine

sassyril:

u guyz can chill a bit so as to save more money
but if it cant w8, den do a smallllll wedding your
money can afford.mom n dad 4rm both sides n
siblings no relatives!!
den u 'l b fine

Exactly.

It seems the wedding process is already on so take the advice of what others have said.

Plan a low budget wedding.

Don't bring in kids for the first 3 years  after the wedding

Try to sort out your finances during this period.

Plan the kind of life you want when the kids start coming.

Why the rush into marriage you are not ready?
Am sure girl you are the one pushing this poor guy into a responsibility he is not yet ready for, coz no man in his right sense will think of getting married when he has no steady income. Here you are on NL seeking for adivce on how to manage the situation. Have you asked yourself what happens after marriage? how about if 1 or 2 kids happens to come along the line, how can you cope?
If both of you love each other why not give the boy more time to stand firmly as a man b4 forcing him into a responsibilty. Na waooo, these days every one jst wanna answer am married.

@izeek, I am married, 8+ years now!  I want to give her a good counsel based on experience.  I need to know more of the situation, that's why I asked what they do right now, especially the guy.  She mentioned they don't have stable income, but she can be more specific.  She wanted counsel, otherwise she wouldn't have come here.

Getting married and post-poning childbirth is easier said than done!  That is when you will see all sorts of pressure mounting up from either side, mothers-inlaw crying to have their grandkids, "prayer-warriors" binding and losing the "barrenness" etc

By the way, Bamboke who or what is putting pressure on you by giving you an ultimatum to get married in 5 months' time?

Pray to GOD for good life, not for money to waste one day, who said you must spend all your earnings that day? who? convention i guess

Lets say you are suppose to spend 300k for pretense(borrow cars, feed people etc), after your weeding your wife can start something with that 300k . This is the logic the average man doesn't have,  possibly why the rich are getting richer.

We have to stop artificial public image, look at the mirror everyday, there is no delusion like self delusion, PLAY YOUR POSITION your real position. Someone said you should save money for your weeding, nonsense. Take your wife to the church on a normal day get the blessing with your parents take her home. Don't care what anyone think or say, they will always do. You won't spend any money. You don't have to borrow cars, and create false public image, that's nonsense. Play your real position and face life don't be deceived my dear.

There is life after marriage and it isn't worth all the pretense of borrowing cars and wasting of money. 30k should be able enough for a quiet weeding. Don't be lost in another person's own, this is yours and do it the right way (Reflection of you) be proud of your position.

Nigerians are too competitive and we end up living life for everyone but us.

is it about finances needed for the wedding or finances for the marital life?

if its about the wedding, pls I beg you, do a court wedding and simply ask your pastor and family to be there. dont start owing at this stage. do something simple and within ur financial capability.

if its about the marriage, toh, as u hv both decided to get married now, knowing ur financial challenges, then cut your coat according to your cloth. however, do not despise your little beginnings. God can open doors for you.

i wish you the best from papa God.

@poster

You have to choose. I mean you can start up something with your savings after your weeding instead of spending all your earnings on pimping one day. the latter doesn't make any sense to me.

It is time for us to go outside established conventions and apply simple logic because we are consequential of our decisions

But really,

Why must you always see marriage as a disadvantage to both parties. I mean, ain't they suppose to now work together even more to get better results. 2 good heads is better than 1 good head,

So, them coming together to join and move on with their live will most likely improve their financial status, that's of course if they see it that way.

Dear just go right ahead wit ur wedding plans.

Bible says he who finds a wife finds a gud thing n obtains favor from d LORD.

Keep working hard n let GOD bring HIS word 2 pass in  ur marriage.

And the same Bible says wisdom is profitable to direct and that he who cannot provide for his family has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever!

Let's exercise caution the way we advise. I am still waiting on the OP to furnish us more on their situation so they can get counsel and apply wisdom.

My suggestion is to get reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal serious with God if you both are not. Go to church, get baptized and be filled with the Holy Ghost. Give God offerings, put them in good ground or good places where the (Good) Word is being taught, where you are really blessed or where the church is going great job for the community or world. When you give, name your seed as hundredfold return towards your marriage.

Whats the big deal about getting married if the two of you are matured minds, go to a magistrate court or registry get married there in the presence of two other witnesses, leave child birth till when you're capable of taking good care of one. Baseline make sure you have an apartment of your own and you'll be fine.

blapo:

Whats the big deal about getting married if the two of you are matured minds, go to a magistrate court or registry get married there in the presence of two other witnesses, leave child birth till when you're capable of taking good care of one. Baseline make sure you have an apartment of your own and you'll be fine.

you sure sey u don go naija before?

all the yarn wey u talk dey only happen for developed country oh

The problem with people is that they expect God to do all things for them.
God never said one should be stupid enough to get married with no stable income.

All these BS about praying for miracle in less than 5months is just .

Guy, No be by force to wed, It is apparent you are not ready for this. . .
Wedding is not sumn u just rush into, USE UR HEAD!!!!!

The Sly:

The problem with people is that they expect God to do all things for them.
God never said one should be stupid enough to get married with no stable income.

All these BS about praying for miracle in less than 5months is just .

Guy, No be by force to wed, It is apparent you are not ready for this. . .
Wedding is not sumn u just rush into, USE your HEAD!!!!!

if the wedding doesn't work out, they could always blame it on th edevil

Ahh!!! Why not try playing pool in all the pool houses in your town?
Who knows, u may just win a very large sum of money!!! 3,14 and 15 go enter
for this week oh. Oya, let's go there. Onye ti okwe, ori okwe.

Believe me,it doesn't matter,as long as u both r genuinely in love.a low key wedding will do(no shame about it).
keep working hard and never give up. . .note:i'm talking from experience.i wish u luck.

bawomolo:

if the wedding doesn't work out, they could always blame it on th edevil

Ah right, Its the devils work. . . . .God please forgive us.
Tssssssssssssew!! People sef.

@lovemoi2

I witnessed a wedding like this in Nigeria few weeks ago. Its all about the two of them knowing what they really want.

Better do what you've got to do and stop whining!

To boost your finance, since you're already working harder; make fasting and prayers a regular thing to save more money.

like they forced them to get married,
i am loving this!!!!!!!

For those saying you should wait till you have enough money, is there ever a time there will be enough money? Or is marriage meant for the rich only? I think we are missing the point. While money plays an essential part in marraige, it shouldn't limit or restrict those that are 'ready' for it. I'll simply throw my weight behind those advising you guys to do a very low key arrangement, you can even do registry and entertain a few well wishers thereafter, then you guys can wait a while, working you arses out to at least when you atsrt earning a reasonable regular income before raising kids.

Please dont go ahead bearing kids now if you cant take care of them, but for marraige, you can carry on if you sincerely love each other.

once again, be constructive. . .(2)Having money alone doesnot equal success. . .Having a lot of money without having joy,peace,good health,a great marriage,is a very dissapointing success. . . so try 2 balance it.

Una no see moni before una fix wedding day?