chaircover:

I wasnt being sacarstic

Some women do actually expect their husbands to take over all their siblings and parents family needs.

Some people only get married to get out of poverty & see the husband as the meal ticket.

Surely not even Bill Gates! Neither Warren Buffet.

Na calamity be dat.

No ooooooooo u know there is recession

marriage is a partnership,so in my opinion bills should be shared if the wife is working,but not necesarily on a 50/50 basis,i still think the husband should take care of the bulk of the bill,becos at the end of the day the wifes money will still go back into the family.

Your colleague has told u the truth, the whole truth, the practical truth
free of charge
women expect to do nothing in marriage
will do nothing in marriage
keep their finances to themselves and borrow u money if shame stares u in the face
dats what happens in marriages
Most cars u see dem seating in front, they have no dime in its purchase!!!

ubiaa5:

marriage is a partnership,so in my opinion bills should be shared if the wife is working,but not necesarily on a 50/50 basis,i still think the husband should take care of the bulk of the bill,becos at the end of the day the wifes money will still go back into the family.

Yes. . . . but what happen if the man now realizes that the woman is using her own money to just shop and have fun while the husband is doing 2 jobs

then there is a problem,thou i dont know of women dat spend all their money shopping n having fun,what could they possible be buying.[but then what do i know am just talking 4 myself]

ubiaa5:

then there is a problem,thou i dont know of women dat spend all their money shopping n having fun,what could they possible be buying.[but then what do i know am just talking 4 myself]

Nice to now that you not like that oh.

ubiaa5:

marriage is a partnership,so in my opinion bills should be shared if the wife is working,but not necesarily on a 50/50 basis,i still think the husband should take care of the bulk of the bill,becos at the end of the day the wifes money will still go back into the family.

story! if u ask 4 equal rights u should be ready to equal the bill, we say 50-50

if the woman is a housewife then the man should take care of the bills but if the woman works i see no reason why both of their monies shouldnt be going to paying the bills and upkeep of the family.

~Sissy~:

if the woman is a housewife then the man should take care of the bills but if the woman works i see no reason why both of their monies shouldnt be going to paying the bills and upkeep of the family.

i think so too. . .i'm 50% conservative. . .i prefer my wife 2 stay at home and take care of the kids.
she might work in future if d need arise.

yes a man should be responsible for everything, that is why he is the head, the woman however can support if she want.
As our pastor said the other day, let just pray all the unmarried ladies marry men that will hapily provide with a smile not boys that will be screaming 50-50. Amen

Must the husband always be richer or prosperous than the wife?

I find that in the UK, life is so much easier for a woman - less racism/discrimination, the middle range/management or even most available jobs go to women e.g, nursing, social work, teaching, secretary et al, catering, local govt jobs and many more. Even an equally qualified blsck male will struggle to get the same job as a black male.

The legacy of the slave trade has not been fully eradicated: you had a predominant situation where the men were worked ever so hard and flogged whislt the women were used as domestics or even as playthings. Consequently, the white man always fears the black man and sometimes rightfully so. If they dont fear, they are immensely jealous or envious, And cant abide by a black male doing well. Right, these are general statements so not true for most situation.

Given the scenario above, it can be hard for a man in the western world to impress a woman because she is likely going to be just as successful (comparatively) than the woman. And if you addth stupid traditional vie of some nja women of expecting the man to foot the bill in all ways, then you can see why it is hard for nja guys (and other black males; us/west indian) to go for nja ladies. That is why most end up with white women and why the women tend to fall for con-men and wasters.

Has anyone heard of the Angry Black Women Syndrome? More  of a western (US/UK) phenom than African but black women can get angry so easily and the frownss - na wa o! I was in Nigeria recently -  a lot of the women (most youngish) had frowns on their faces

Typical religious claptrap! The Pastor says this or that. Dont you people have a mind of your own? Is the Pastor going to help the man when he is so damn stressed out worrying about bill when his wife is using her earnings to by shoes etc? Add unto the paying the bills, the need to impress in-laws and extended family members by spending money one does not have. Nigeria will never progress as long as the individual cannot be allowed to grow without societal unreasonable pressure,

It is as if, most modern Nigerian women respect the man as the Head of the family. Apart from the responsiblity what are the benefits of being a head of a family?

Am I still allowed to flog my wife( or the odd slap) as the head of the family or have my way with her regardless of her wishes?

chris_j:

Must the husband always be richer or prosperous than the wife?

I find that in the UK, life is so much easier for a woman - less racism/discrimination, the middle range/management or even most available jobs go to women e.g, nursing, social work, teaching, secretary et al, catering, local govt jobs and many more. Even an equally qualified blsck male will struggle to get the same job as a black male.

The legacy of the slave trade has not been fully eradicated: you had a predominant situation where the men were worked ever so hard and flogged whislt the women were used as domestics or even as playthings. Consequently, the white man always fears the black man and sometimes rightfully so. If they dont fear, they are immensely jealous or envious, And cant abide by a black male doing well. Right, these are general statements so not true for most situation.

Given the scenario above, it can be hard for a man in the western world to impress a woman because she is likely going to be just as successful (comparatively) than the woman. And if you addth stupid traditional vie of some nja women of expecting the man to foot the bill in all ways, then you can see why it is hard for nja guys (and other black males; us/west indian) to go for nja ladies. That is why most end up with white women and why the women tend to fall for con-men and wasters.

Has anyone heard of the Angry Black Women Syndrome? More  of a western (US/UK) phenom than African but black women can get angry so easily and the frownss - na wa o! I was in Nigeria recently -  a lot of the women (most youngish) had frowns on their faces

i think this cld be a different thread, and like u said, shd the husband be always richer than the wife? that is a difference scenerio, but in a case where the husband is richer than the wife and say making more money than the wife, or they making equal money, should the husband be responsible for 100% of the bills?

Leave all the frown story out of this, this is about the bills and not about their faces, there are so many mens too that is hard to get them to smile, the mind of people these days have too much that they cant even smile.

And regarding people talking about their pastors saying this and that, if that is what help them to make a right choice, why scolding them? different strokes dude, and cos they listen doesnt make them to have lost their own sense of thinking, does it?

chris_j:

Typical religious claptrap! The Pastor says this or that. Dont you people have a mind of your own? Is the Pastor going to help the man when he is so damn stressed out worrying about bill when his wife is using her earnings to by shoes etc? Add unto the paying the bills, the need to impress in-laws and extended family members by spending money one does not have. Nigeria will never progress as long as the individual cannot be allowed to grow without societal unreasonable pressure,

It is as if, most modern Nigerian women respect the man as the Head of the family. Apart from the responsiblity what are the benefits of being a head of a family?

Am I still allowed to flog my wife( or the odd slap) as the head of the family or have my way with her regardless of her wishes?

Ki lo je lara bayi.
why don't you mind your business, do you intend to marry more than one wife? Please marry someone that shares your belief and let others pray to God for husbands that will be a father, lover and husband to them
If the girls you know don't respect the head of their family mine does . . . . . . so you think being the head of the family entails flogging and slaps? I can see you are not yet a man.

vanitty:


Ki lo je lara bayi.
why don't you mind your business, do you intend to marry more than one wife? Please marry someone that shares your belief and let others pray to God for husbands that will be a father, lover and husband to them
If the girls you know don't respect the head of their family mine does . . . . . . so you think being the head of the family entails flogging and slaps? I can see you are not yet a man.

i do agree with you in the area of faith and blv, however, that is not enuf reason to tag him as yet to be a man . . . Lol

Fhemmy
Yeah you are probably right Half - man then I kid I kid

@ Chris
I say mine, you say yours, if you don't like it, try and be constructive in your reply rather than blatantly call me stupid - your I don't have a mind of my own was uncalled for.

vanitty:

Fhemmy
Yeah you are probably right Half - man then I kid I kid

@ Chris
I say mine, you say yours, if you don't like it, try and be constructive in your reply rather than blatantly call me stupid - your I don't have a mind of my own was uncalled for.

Agreed . . . let us all have fun while sharing our views

marriage and finance. house wife to me is a over burden on the husband and 100% responsible for the bills.

why should an able woman sit @ home doing nothing in the name of house wife and stories? making and turning the man into a slave in making money and herself- spender of money

beingme:

marriage and finance. house wife to me is a over burden on the husband and 100% responsible for the bill
why should an able woman sit @ home doing nothing in the name of house wife and stories? making and turning the man into a slave in making money and herself- spender of money

But if the man is making enuf money to take care of the family and have left over, that is not slavery, is it?
Also, i think the woman is doing a lot already, get the kids ready for school, feed them, take them to school, pick them up from school, and help them with homeworks, get them dinner and get them ready for bed, read for them, feed the husband when he is back, watch TV with the man, and listen to him whine after the day at work, and make love to him after all that . . . . .that is in a case of a house wife.
I only have a problem when the wife does nothing, and watch soap and the man cant afford all by himself and the wife is now quoting bible, that God create man to take care of her.

Who is fhemmy? Are you just playing devil' advocate or what? Are you talking about village situation or the real world?
How many men are making just too much money to take care of all the bills? My grandmother in her days worked, my mother worked and my dad certainly did not just home from work to read the papers or watch TV, When it comes to shopping and budgetting my dad was far better than any woman at that job,

When I was growing up, I helped change nappy and did cooking so I dont understand where all these idea of a woman doing shed loads of work to warranty not working or spending her money on herself alone.
I have just given what situation is nowadays. Very few men can comfortable pay for all the bills except if you deliberately marry someone who way off financially from yourself. I dont think the original poster mentioned the man earning a lot more than the woman or even 50/50?

As for the religious nonsense - that is what it is to me. Each to their own as you said; freedomof speech. Yes, I heard a pastor complain that r modern women only want 2 or 3 children - he said the minimum should be like 7 Yea, right! And he has 2 wives.

How stupid of the last 2 posters to think I was suggesting beating women. Irony cannot be your forte!

And is fhemmy really saying that in a 50/50 financial situation the man should still pay all the bills? The man certainly has to be much richer than the man to be able to pay all the bills unless the man is a doormat, an ennuch or a dunce to allow his wife to save her own money or use it for her own purpose. Where is the partnership or what is yours is also mine.

No wonder, the women clearly outlive the men in Nigeria/Africa much more than it is elsewhere. STRESS!

~Sissy~:

if the woman is a housewife then the man should take care of the bills but if the woman works i see no reason why both of their monies shouldnt be going to paying the bills and upkeep of the family.

if the wife is a house wife, then all house chores should be her responsibility including cooking and taking care of the kids, the man shouldn't do any house work but he should just focus on making money, correct?

beingme:

marriage and finance. house wife to me is a over burden on the husband and 100% responsible for the bills.

why should an able woman sit @ home doing nothing in the name of house wife and stories? making and turning the man into a slave in making money and herself- spender of money

i have fallen in love with u already just bcuz of what u said

chris_j:

How stupid of the last 2 posters to think I was suggesting beating women. Irony cannot be your forte!

And is fhemmy really saying that in a 50/50 financial situation the man should still pay all the bills? The man certainly has to be much richer than the man to be able to pay all the bills unless the man is a doormat, an ennuch or a dunce to allow his wife to save her own money or use it for her own purpose. Where is the partnership or what is yours is also mine.

No wonder, the women clearly outlive the men in Nigeria/Africa much more than it is elsewhere. STRESS!

I am not advocating a formular at all.
In Nigeria where you pay for where yu live 2 years in advance and the husband makes 800K a month, regardless of how much the wife is making, 800K can run a home with ease.
Now tell me you agree with that.
But in a case where the man is making peanut, say 30k a month, i will advocate for the woman to get a job too or have a biz to help out.
By the way, there is nothing like 50 -50, one will always pay more than the other, and come to think of it, the monies belongs to the house, either one is working and the other is taking care of the home, but like i said, i JUST HATE WOMEN WATCHING SOAP OPERA while husband doing 2 jobs

chris_j:

How stupid of the last 2 posters to think I was suggesting beating women. Irony cannot be your forte!

No wonder, the women clearly outlive the men in Nigeria/Africa much more than it is elsewhere. STRESS!

Please could you pick point where I said you beat your woman?and i know you are not calling me stupid, mannerless pikin

fhemmy, so we agree then; women should be working and paying if they have the money.

I dont know about the situation in Nigeria - I am in the UK and I have been for a long time. Even when I was in Nigeria, I went out with people at my college/educated girls; so the chance that I would have been earning a vast different amount from them is slim.

800K a month - I dont know how many people earn that amount - even in the UK. That is £3000 a month! Doctors dont earn that much. You should try to find a good average when making general arguments. I dont know the people you know but a lot of my folks back home dont earn even close to 100k a month.
Even if a man earns that much he must still be stupid to pay for everything when his wife is equally wealthy. I am not talking about 50/50 share of bills but 50/50 (on average) earnings.

In the UK, it must be common for the man and woman to earn roughly the same as salaried worker but a lot of blokes do 2 jobs and will still return home to a wife that gives them an earful of expectations and grief. The Head of the House title is a figurative term in a modern relationship unless they are very traditional/religious (indoctrinated) or in villages/family setting where women are kept well down.

Come to think of it, £3500 is not that mega - about 40k a year. But that put one in the higher earning bracket in the UK and they make about 10-15% or so

nope more like 60% responsible

chris_j:

fhemmy, so we agree then; women should be working and paying if they have the money.

I dont know about the situation in Nigeria - I am in the UK and I have been for a long time. Even when I was in Nigeria, I went out with people at my college/educated girls; so the chance that I would have been earning a vast different amount from them is slim.

800K a month - I dont know how many people earn that amount - even in the UK. That is £3000 a month! Doctors dont earn that much. You should try to find a good average when making general arguments. I dont know the people you know but a lot of my folks back home dont earn even close to 100k a month.
Even if a man earns that much he must still be stupid to pay for everything when his wife is equally wealthy. I am not talking about 50/50 share of bills but 50/50 (on average) earnings.

In the UK, it must be common for the man and woman to earn roughly the same as salaried worker but a lot of blokes do 2 jobs and will still return home to a wife that gives them an earful of expectations and grief. The Head of the House title is a figurative term in a modern relationship unless they are very traditional/religious (indoctrinated) or in villages/family setting where women are kept well down.

My guy, i dont reside in Nigeria either, but i am in tune with reality, and that was why i broke it down into 2, with people earning up to 800K a month and some earning like 40K a month.
BTW, if the doctors in UK are not making up to 3000pounds a month, then, UK is surely as terrible as i have always though.
Average income in where i reside sir, for people with good education and with good job, take for example a programmer is over 3000$ a month, and that is take home after you have paid all your taxes.
Good percentage of the people i know in Nigeria earn more than 100K a month, how much do even tellers at the bank in Nigeria are making?
But then, that is an arguement for another day.
For a man that is making 40K a month, he needs to have a woman that is supporting to make ends meet, but a man that can take care of all the bill, it is better to take care of it all, and you guy save whatever that wife is making for the raining day.

Lemme say this again, if the woman is not working, it sucks to see her watching TV alll day while she cld be working.

Dewdeuces:

nope more like 60% responsible

why not 50-50?

na2day?:

why not 50-50?

it is not possible, on a monthly/yearly/weekly/daily basis, one will outspend the other