michelin89:

But people who get married just to be happy are unlikely to take even the flimsiest of disappointments lightly. I see them as being weak willed.

"happiness" is not the only factor considered when getting married. If they truly are happy and are in love with each other they would not take the 'flimsiest of disappointments lightly'

Marrying to be happy is a little kinda funny, cos you are still be dating or love someone and be happy, u dont need some paper to tell you, now u can be happy, do u?

Fhemmmy:

Like i said, that will means that people are marrying not cos they wanna but cos
1. They wanna make God happy
2. They wanna make our society not to frown at them

So where do the people marrying stands, where is their own happiness?

no. it means people are marrying coz they want to. its because of those reasons they marry, something you cant achieve with dating. and there will be no greater happiness in this life than making God happy. the blessings of it you cant count. so, that alone is an absolute good enough reason for who choose it. remember also that marriage for believers is the only legal way to have sex,not everyone fancies out of wedlock kids and premarital sex. God doesnt, so does many people and cultures. even the bible says that those who cant resist the temptations of the fresh, should go and marry. marriage is ordained by God, and if a person wants to enjoy the benefits of it, dating isn't a choice.

~Sissy~:

no. it means people are marrying coz they want to. its because of those reasons they marry, something you cant achieve with dating. and there will be no greater happiness in this life than making God happy. the blessings of it you cant count. so, that alone is an absolute good enough reason for who choose it. remember also that marriage for believers is the only legal way to have sex,not everyone fancies out of wedlock kids and premarital sex. God doesnt, so does many people and cultures. even the bible says that those who cant resist the temptations of the fresh, should go and marry. marriage is ordained by God, and if a person wants to enjoy the benefits of it, dating isn't a choice.

Good one there.
However, Let us assume that God give us the chance to just have fun . . . .how many will marry

Fhemmmy:

Good one there.
However, Let us assume that God give us the chance to just have fun . . . .how many will marry

well, you have to realize that many cultures/society practices are normally taken from the bible, so if God said "ye go forth and have fun", i bet you, many wouldnt actually consider the marriage aspect because then the society wouldnt put much emphasis on the whole marriage thing.

I once asked some people in the church that if they have a chance to marry 2 wives, would they, most jumped and say yes, so i think if the bible aspect can change, most of the reason why people marry will thrown out the window.

I don't even know. Maybe for companionship and to make your parents happy.

Fhemmmy:

I once asked some people in the church that if they have a chance to marry 2 wives, would they, most jumped and say yes, so i think if the bible aspect can change, most of the reason why people marry will thrown out the window.

yes thats why i say, if the bible/God says otherwise on the whole marriage thing many people/culture/society will also follow suite

stillwater:

I don't even know. Maybe for companionship and to make your parents happy.

So where do you as the bride fits in?

~Sissy~:

yes thats why i say, if the bible/God says otherwise on the whole marriage thing many people/culture/society will also follow suite

Then, that means that we are really not marrying then for the right reasons

Fhemmmy:

So where do you as the bride fits in?

Companionship?

stillwater:

Companionship?

That is possible without the "i do" wont u say?

Fhemmmy:


Then, that means that we are really not marrying then for the right reasons

for what right reason(s) can we possibly be marrying for then other than the ones listed in this thread?

I have no idea and that is why i am asking, cos most of the reason listed above are just not good enuf, to me oh

Fhemmmy:

That is possible without the "i do" wont u say?

In what way?

you dont have to be married to have companionship with someone . . . . .

People ae marrying and yet not sure why thare marrying.

Fhemmmy:

People ae marrying and yet not sure why thare marrying.

Is more of a programmed thing Fhemmy. Go to school, graduate, get a job, settle down, have children get old and die. Many people are not really asking the question why?

i think we have got to the level where we need to ask why and not just do cos we are programmed to.

I dont know!
But, most of guys in my area are not married but they are fathers, & they are comfortable having their baby mamas @ a distance & taking care of them while having affairs all over the place!

4me, i dont think i will get married, it sounds constricting 4 now!

donjon:

I dont know!
But, most of guys in my area are not married but they are fathers, & they are comfortable having their baby mamas @ a distance & taking care of them while having affairs all over the place!

4me, i dont think i will get married, it sounds constricting 4 now!

I think u could think about it, and find a reason to marry.
Most men seems to marry cos the women were on their neck, and cos they wanna be seen as a good man.
Many people are now watching the wedding Tape on a rewind, wanna see themselves taking off the ring and driving back home, before the i do

I think getting children outside marriage is an act of irresponsibility and may create disunited family. Imagine children who came from broken homes, the feeling of love and togetherness is not there. Beside, according to christian faith, its bad. An unmarried man n woman staying together are most likely going to fornicate. which is obviously a sin. Its good to be married, i for one am not but am planning to do so. Just get the right one and u will enjoy it.

Oma1414:

I think getting children outside marriage is an act of irresponsibility and may create disunited family. Imagine children who came from broken homes, the feeling of love and togetherness is not there. Beside, according to christian faith, its bad. An unmarried man n woman staying together are most likely going to fornicate. which is obviously a sin. Its good to be married, i for one am not but am planning to do so. Just get the right one and u will enjoy it.

There is nothing irresponsible in having children outside marriage if you are able to cater for them. I think there are lot more irresponsible fathers who though are married but are not catering for thier children

I know lots of people who grew up from a broken home and are doing so well. So that is not enough excuse to marry.

Marrying because it is a sin to sleep together unmarried, has to do with your faith and believe. Not everybody is a chirsitian or muslim you know. And it also mean the reason why you are getting married is because God does not permit you to have sex outside marriage.

Oma1414:

I think getting children outside marriage is an act of irresponsibility and may create disunited family. Imagine children who came from broken homes, the feeling of love and togetherness is not there. Beside, according to christian faith, its bad. An unmarried man n woman staying together are most likely going to fornicate. which is obviously a sin. Its good to be married, i for one am not but am planning to do so. Just get the right one and u will enjoy it.

Defined by who?
So it is ok to get kids within marriage and beat your wife while the kids hold her legs down for you?

well, I think marriage is overrated

I am going to get married  for a few reasons

1. Financial security-two incomes coming into the house
2.procreation-I will love to have kids one day
3. and yea in Nigeria, a woman has to be married to be respected in society(not always the case)

ijaw_girl:

well, I think marriage is overrated

I am going to get married for a few reasons

1. Financial security-two incomes coming into the house
2.procreation-I will love to have kids one day
3. and yea in Nigeria, you have to be married to be respected in society(not always the case)

You could have Financial security while you are the man lives together and put money together, so not only marriage can give that.
You could be a mother while not married to the man, so big deal.
You could gain respect with your money and respect to others.
So why do we marry?

fhemmy stop asking questions,marry or dont.

ubiaa5:

fhemmy stop asking questions,marry or dont.

hahahahahahaha.
Why shd i stop, when i wanna know why we marry.
Tell me why, biko

Fhemmmy:

hahahahahahaha.
Why shd i stop, when i wanna know why we marry.
Tell me why, biko

i got married becoc i was in love and couldnt imagine life witout my hubby and istill feel dat way 8yrs after.one more question fhemmy n i will give u an e-knock.

ubiaa5:

i got married becoc i was in love and couldnt imagine life witout my hubby and istill feel dat way 8yrs after.one more question fhemmy n i will give u an e-knock.

Since fhemmy is running away from the e-knock, may i ask; is it not possible for you to love & stay with your hubby till the love do you part without getting married?

OAM4J:

Since fhemmy is running away from the e-knock, may i ask; is it not possible for you to love & stay with your hubby till the love do you part without getting married?

No u have to take it further n make that commitment to cement the union n make things official.

ubiaa5:

i got married becoc i was in love and couldnt imagine life witout my hubby and istill feel dat way 8yrs after.one more question fhemmy n i will give u an e-knock.

How many years were you dated for?
Compare when you were dating to after wedding and tell us which is better and i beg u, be honest.
You could still be together and not necessarily say the "i do " thing.
So he could still be your best friend and all that without some papers telling you what is best and not.

OAM4J:

Since fhemmy is running away from the e-knock, may i ask; is it not possible for you to love & stay with your hubby till the love do you part without getting married?

Great question, i was away from my computer, so i m back now, and she is gone and cant give the e-knock