Some say to have kids
Some says, to have a companion
Some says, cos God told us to?

Now what do u say?

@All,
Men = To have male children, unlimited sex & zero sending of recharge cards.

Women = For companionship, security & children.

1st corinthians 7:1-2
It is good for a man not to marry, HOWEVER since there is SO MUCH IMMORALITY, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

So you will marry cos God says marry, or cos of immorality?
So if you can handle not being immoral, will u remain single?

I'd like to put the question another way - for those who are married to ask themselves and answer; "Why Did I Get Married".

(and no, no plagiarism from the film of the same name  )

N101:

I'd like to put the question another way - for those who are married to ask themselves and answer; "Why Did I Get Married".

(and no, no plagiarism from the film of the same name  )

u wanna cause wahala oh, u are on your own oh.

i just kinda wonder why marriages works well in those days, and now that we know better, things are not working at all

I married my hubby because i loved him.
I found in him a true friend,a companion who shares my dreams and aspiration.
He believes in me,believes my dreams and i knew with him i will be that wc i have desired to be

lovelynk:

I married my hubby because i loved him.
I found in him a true friend,a companion who shares my dreams and aspiration.
He believes in me,believes my dreams and i knew with him i will be that wc i have desired to be

u mean all that is not possible without being married to him

Fhemmmy:

u mean all that is not possible without being married to him

no they are possible,but the fact is that if u hook up with wrong person these things might end up not being possible.there are so many ladies and men out who had great dreams and potentials but all these became stories simply because thay got married.
for i was not just thinking of companionship and all that but i was also thinking of being able to achieve my lifes ambition and i had to marry the kind of person with whom i will have all that and still be the dream i have

^^ makes sense.

lovelynk:

no they are possible,but the fact is that if u hook up with wrong person these things might end up not being possible.there are so many ladies and men out who had great dreams and potentials but all these became stories simply because thay got married.
for i was not just thinking of companionship and all that but i was also thinking of being able to achieve my lifes ambition and i had to marry the kind of person with whom i will have all that and still be the dream i have

That is a very fair statement, however like u mentioned that some other people cld have married and all the great things that you mentioned cld have turned sour for them.
So glad it worked well for you and if i many ask, how long have u been married

yrs

Nice . . . but what i wanna know is that, do we have to marry to have all we enjoy in marriage

Fhemmmy:

Nice . . . but what i wanna know is that, do we have to marry to have all we enjoy in marriage

Some people would probably say not really.  There are some people who've lived together for years as married without the cerificate.  Sometimes it's hard to tell unless you get to know someone why their situation is what it is.

For example, two couples I know:

(1) the man has repeatedly asked the woman to marry him but she's of the opinion that marriage doesn't mean anything if they have all they want now (their oldest is about 21).  Neither have ever been married but both grew up with single parents; the mother of the lady divorced and re-married, his father died when he was young.

(2) The lady was married young and divorced, has always wanted a destination wedding but it seems that as the years go by the dream wedding is further becoming history (their oldest is now 26!). Her parents divorced, his are still together.

For those who have lived together before marrying, it has a different perspective.  One friend said she couldn't explain it, it was just different, their relationship has gone to another level since marrying.  This was a couple who married after living together for about 4 years.

Fhemmmy:

Some say to have kids
Some says, to have a companion
Some says, cos God told us to?

Now what do u say?

Honestly I don't know!

I used to think people get married because they're in love and can never live without each other, but then when you see married couples argue and fight all the time, husbands bashing their wives, you have a rethink. And when you believe they're together to have children and they end up hitting and abusing those kids, you think again! And if you say to have a companion and the man still leaves his wife at home all the time to have extra marital affairs, you think again! And if you say God told us to, did God lay a precedent?, neither did Jesus!

^^^^^^ word!

coolier:

Honestly I don't know!

I used to think people get married because they're in love and can never live without each other, but then when you see married couples argue and fight all the time, husbands bashing their wives, you have a rethink. And when you believe they're together to have children and they end up hitting and abusing those kids, you think again! And if you say to have a companion and the man still leaves his wife at home all the time to have extra marital affairs, you think again! And if you say God told us to, did God lay a precedent?, neither did Jesus!

I think you are now getting to understand my state of mind.
You see a man saying he loves a woman to death, and same man will turn around and kill same woman

To deepen their relationship with another
To fulfill a need in their soul
To have a sexual relationship
To deepen a friendship
To have a companion on the path of life
To build a family
To share life's mysteries with someone else

u want more

r231:

To deepen their relationship with another
To fulfill a need in their soul
To have a sexual relationship
To deepen a friendship
To have a companion on the path of life
To build a family
To share life's mysteries with someone else

u want more

All these can be achived with someone you are dating and not married to.
By the way, i have heard many stories of married couples that now have lesser sex than be4 they marry.
Friendship while dating is better to many people, infact, most of all said, seems to be better for so many people while dating than once married.
So again, tell me why do we REALLY MARRY

We really do not have to marry. Unfortunately, lots of people realise this after they have gotten married. There seems to be a misguided notion ( I wonder where it came from) that one has to be married in order to be respected in the society and to be taken as a responsible person.

It is more of a societal status thing. Inside us, in our heart of hearts, most of us realize that that marriage is a farce and does not really affect who we are inside.

queenesthr:

We really do not have to marry. Unfortunately, lots of people realise this after they have gotten married. There seems to be a misguided notion ( I wonder where it came from) that one has to be married in order to be respected in the society and to be taken as a responsible person.
It is more of a societal status thing. Inside us, in our heart of hearts, most of us realize that that marriage is a farce and does not really affect who we are inside.

Especially the woman, it is the reason many women get married(in Naija).

queenesthr:

We really do not have to marry. Unfortunately, lots of people realise this after they have gotten married. There seems to be a misguided notion ( I wonder where it came from) that one has to be married in order to be respected in the society and to be taken as a responsible person.

It is more of a societal status thing. Inside us, in our heart of hearts, most of us realize that that marriage is a farce and does not really affect who we are inside.

Then, that is wrong, cos it means we doing it for wrong reasons and cos of other people.

I got married cause he was the one 4 me with all his tantrums and difficulties. Besides that he's a wonderfull men.

First and foremost for both sexes is to bare a socially acceptable offspring (nobody wants a bastard)

Secondly our parents and society expects it from us.

Women do get married just for the security. With security not always being financial. No woman wants to hit menopause without a change of name. Society tends to look at old single women as being loose.

Men get married for the hell of it. Mostly cause no woman would agree to give us a kid without some form of contract.

We marry for Companionship and Children.

chillbabe:

I got married cause he was the one 4 me with all his tantrums and difficulties. Besides that he's a wonderfull men.

So u have to marry him to enjoy all that?

Okija_juju:

First and foremost for both sexes is to bare a socially acceptable offspring (nobody wants a bastard)

Secondly our parents and society expects it from us.

Women do get married just for the security. With security not always being financial. No woman wants to hit menopause without a change of name. Society tends to look at old single women as being loose.

Men get married for the hell of it. Mostly cause no woman would agree to give us a kid without some form of contract.

There are some single people that are doing better at this than some married couples, there are some mama and papa that all they teaching their kids is how dad can beat Mom and Mom will lie about it still.
So if this is all the reasons why we marry, then, it means we are not marrying for ourselves, but for others, wont u say?

mama-gee:

We marry for Companionship and Children.

All those can be enjoyed without marriage as well

SO WHY DO WE MARRY?

@ fhemmy 4 ure info i have a wonderfull husband whom i luv dearly he's not perfect like me and u. I can come here and paint a perfect picture but life is also about what i wrote in my post. Like i said he is a wonderfull man.

chillbabe:

@ fhemmy 4 ure info i have a wonderfull husband whom i luv dearly he's not perfect like me and u. I can come here and paint a perfect picture but life is also about what i wrote in my post. Like i said he is a wonderfull man.

that is great and nice, i am so happy for you, but u missing the question.
Why did u really marry? was it to enjoy the wonderfulness in him?
Would he still be wonderful, if you weren't married to him?
My point is, there are so many men and woman that are together and the wonderfulness is still there?

So why do we marry?

Fhemmmy:

So u have to marry him to enjoy all that?
There are some single people that are doing better at this than some married couples, there are some mama and papa that all they teaching their kids is how dad can beat Mom and Mom will lie about it still.
So if this is all the reasons why we marry, then, it means we are not marrying for ourselves, but for others, wont u say?
All those can be enjoyed without marriage as well

SO WHY DO WE MARRY?

abeg, this is not a Jamb question neither is it a waec question, please leave my opinion to stand.

Fhemmy, I doubt if many people here understand your question. The more I think about it, the more I realize that many of the reasons are just not real, except for some religious and societal values. (like it’s a sin to have sex outside marriage and your parent wanting you to get married)

The only tangible reason I see here is that marriage gives u some legal right over your partner to do whatever you like with him/her which again can be interpret as bondage depending on who is loosing out.

My Conclusion: remove the element of religion; it is better and safer not to get married.

OAM4J:

Fhemmy, I doubt if many people here understand your question. The more I think about it, the more I realize that many of the reasons are just not real, except for some religious and societal values. (like it’s a sin to have sex outside marriage and your parent wanting you to get married)

The only tangible reason I see here is that marriage gives u some legal right over your partner to do whatever you like with him/her which again can be interpret as bondage depending on who is loosing out.

My Conclusion: remove the element of religion; it is better and safer not to get married.

I must admit that so far, you da only one that i kinda agree with.
Thanks jare.
Seems like most people that are married dont even know why they are married and those yet to marry, dont know why they wanna marry at all cost.