Fhemmmy:

Do u noticed that with all your reasons, nothing is about you . . . .it is all about people and society and customs, so where do u fit in?

They are plenty in there.  Ya just gotta look harder.
I would be perfectly satisfied with marrying for struture and permanent unity with the love of my life in the eyes of God.
The idea of marriage in and of itself is absolutely romantic and sweet.
There's an assortment of reasons of why I would want to get married.

It's a desire in my soul that must be fulfilled

So u are marrying for satisfaction and to make u happy, how do u know it is making the other party happy ?

If it would not make the other party happy, the other party should not marry me.
No be by force.

I'm not marrying to make me happy. That's slightly inaccurate.
I don't expect marriage to be a harbinger of happiness, but I would be happy to marry. Finding peace and happiness within the marriage is an added bonus that I expect.
I know it's not a bed of roses.

chaircover:

In an ideal world, I think we get married because you love someone enough to want to spend the rest of your life with him/her. We also get married because you want to make your partner happy. We get married for companionship and for security.

We also get married because it’s what the bible says and our parents also expect us to do so; getting married is a natural progression of ones journey in life. We also get married to have kids and to give them a stable family background.

No doubt marriage has its ups and downs but all in all, if one experiences a good marriage, it is sure one of the of the greatest gifts that God has given us.

Beautiful, about the best I have read.

Unfortunately we are not living in an ideal world.

But can you pls explain what you mean by 'for security'

chaircover:

What I meant by security again applies to an ideal world

My being married means I don’t have to go through the dating scene again, not knowing for certain if a toaster/boyfriend loves me for who I am or if he has an ulterior motive.

What I also mean by security is financial security; there are 2 incomes coming in living in the one house so more money to spare.

Another aspect to security is the fact that you have someone else to run things by before you make a crucial decision.

During down times, it is not just you against the world but Team husband & wife against the world.

For the ladies only, you also have someone you can send downstairs to investigate the noise you imagined you heard during the night

lol

Now I understand what you meant. especially the bold.

chaircover:

What I meant by security again applies to an ideal world

My being married means I don’t have to go through the dating scene again, not knowing for certain if a toaster/boyfriend loves me for who I am or if he has an ulterior motive.

What I also mean by security is financial security; there are 2 incomes coming in living in the one house so more money to spare.

Another aspect to security is the fact that you have someone else to run things by before you make a crucial decision.

During down times, it is not just you against the world but Team husband & wife against the world.

For the ladies only, you also have someone you can send downstairs to investigate the noise you imagined you heard during the night

From what you have said, seems like marriage is just for greedy people.

chaircover:

Youv'e lost me now. How come?

Sorry, meant to say for selfish people.
Cos it is only a selfish person that will marry cos he needs someone to sleep with, or need someone to check what the noise is all about at the mid of the night

Fhemmmy:

Sorry, meant to say for selfish people.
Cos it is only a selfish person that will marry cos he needs someone to sleep with, or need someone to check what the noise is all about at the mid of the night

fami is that what u really think? so u no go look after yr woman becos she sell fish abi na akara?

GEW:

fami is that what u really think? so u no go look after yr woman becos she sell fish abi na akara?

Ofcourse, i will look after her and keep her safe and make sure she is happy, however, are those enough reason to wanna marry me?

Na wa oh, so, many people are married and yet not even sure of why they are married

@Fhemmmy:
I feel u cos at some point in my life I also despaired about the whole marriage tin. I in fact experimented a lil bit wit having a partner wit whom I shared all but surnames with but I discovered that without the legal frame work of marriage it became easy to find excuses not to work things out.

Now am not saying marriage is a guarantee for staying together and working things out but when u realise u have a legal obligation towards someone it provides some measure of motivation.

This taken together with the other reasons folks here have stated for wanting to get married should provide a balanced view on marriage. But take this as a caveat: it's what we choose to work at, that works out.

chaircover:

Ok Femi lets ask you the question

Why would you want to get married?

I want a direct answer please

It is not about me.
I just think Marriage is an overblown act . . . enjoyed by one side of the deal and the other just tag along.

Will talk about mine, when people must have said all they know.

Fhemmmy:

It is not about me.
I just think Marriage is an overblown act . . . enjoyed by one side of the deal and the other just tag along.

Will talk about mine, when people must have said all they know.

And which side is dat if I may ask?

I am on the good side.
I am on the side that refuse to do something all cos most people are doing it, i am on the side that ask, why.

Fhemmmy am on your side too

Marriage is a sacred relationship between a man and a woman ordained by God for companionship on one hand and, the procreation and training of children as antidevils on the other. 
     The primary reason and purpose why we should marry is to raise children who would be empowered to embark upon a project or course that will be of benefit to humanity thereby serving God through selfless services to humanity.
     Many marry for wrong motives who pay darely for it shortly after.  A few examples of the numerous wrong reasons why we marry are: Pride of being the spouse of a particular celebrity, Rejection by parents thereby seeing marriage as an escape route from parental domination, non-controlled passion for sex, lust for beauty and lust for wealth among others.
     So, why must you marry?  Marry because you want to fulfill a divine order to raise children who would fight injustice and corruption that have eaten deep into the fabric of the society.  Before I forget, in case you are a Nigerian, please marry to raise at least one child who will solve electricity problem in Nigeria!
     Thanks. Compliment of the seasson.

cexplorer:

Marriage is a sacred relationship between a man and a woman ordained by God for companionship on one hand and, the procreation and training of children as antidevils on the other. 
     The primary reason and purpose why we should marry is to raise children who would be empowered to embark upon a project or course that will be of benefit to humanity thereby serving God through selfless services to humanity.
     Many marry for wrong motives who pay darely for it shortly after.  A few examples of the numerous wrong reasons why we marry are: Pride of being the spouse of a particular celebrity, Rejection by parents thereby seeing marriage as an escape route from parental domination, non-controlled passion for sex, lust for beauty and lust for wealth among others.
     So, why must you marry?  Marry because you want to fulfill a divine order to raise children who would fight injustice and corruption that have eaten deep into the fabric of the society.  Before I forget, in case you are a Nigerian, please marry to raise at least one child who will solve electricity problem in Nigeria!
     Thanks. Compliment of the seasson.

I disagree with the bold.What happens to marriages without children? Or couples who do not wish to have children?

The main essence of Marriages is companionship, follow by sexual satisfaction. Child bearing is the 3rd and the least of the 3. Most religions agree to this, especially Christianity.

But what this thread is asking is 'cant we achieve all these without getting married?'

OAM4J:

I disagree with the bold.What happens to marriages without children? Or couples who do not wish to have children?

The main essence of Marriages is companionship, follow by sexual satisfaction. Child bearing is the 3rd and the least of the 3. Most religions agree to this, especially Christianity.

But what this thread is asking is 'cant we achieve all these without getting married?'

you are right on the response to person that says the primary reason we marry is for kids. thats a big fat lie. children are products of love from a marriage not everyone who marries have children, some choose not to, while others arent able to. does it mean that their marriage is invalid because there is no kids in the marriage? no.

however, on the bolded part, you have to understand that marriage is a divine institution blessed and ordained  by God himself, although we can achieve certain things without getting married there is many reasons do it while married, one being the above given reason. these things have been already killed in this  thread already, and explained in depth but you and Fhemmy chose to prolong it more . dont think you both will find any other new reason why people marry.

~Sissy~:

you are right on the response to person that says the primary reason we marry is for kids. thats a big fat lie. children are products of love from a marriage not everyone who marries have children, some choose not to, while others arent able to. does it mean that their marriage is invalid because there is no kids in the marriage? no.

however, on the bolded part, you have to understand that marriage is a divine institution blessed and ordained  by God himself, although we can achieve certain things without getting married there is many reasons do it while married, one being the above given reason. these things have been already killed in this  thread already, and explained in depth but you and Fhemmy chose to prolong it more . dont think you both will find any other new reason why people marry.

Don't get me wrong, I am not against marriage because I believe in God and in doing the will of God. I also believe in love, I will do anything for love even though it cost me.

But my concern is if the will of God is removed, does it really worth it? Since I can get all the so call benefits of marriage without getting married. Why do those who do not believe in God get married?

SeanT21:

For many African parents, getting married is a must.They want their child(ren) to go to school, graduate, get married and start a family. In many Africa traditions, if you are not married off by a certain age then you are Not consider successful.

That is all true, but i think they need to train us against some things we dont expect.

Fhemmmy:

That is all true, but i think they need to train us against some things we dont expect.

It is true we don't get taught in a skool some of the more important things in life. We should however make use of opportunities available to us to learn. There are books articles videos and seminars on the subject of marriage. Taking advantage of these resources would be of great benefit don't u tink?

Lord_Reed:

It is true we don't get taught in a skool some of the more important things in life. We should however make use of opportunities available to us to learn. There are books articles videos and seminars on the subject of marriage. Taking advantage of these resources would be of great benefit don't u tink?

Hahahahahahaha.
I have noticed that most of the writers are not even married, some are having affairs, some are in jail as we speak for beating the wives, so how can those teach you how to have a good home.
You make me laff in pakistan

Well, first and foremost I have to grateful to the creator of Nairaland, becos it gives people a wonderful platform to share vital information. That apart to the issue at hand. I believe those who know what they are doing on this planet earth get married because God give us the instruction to do so according to the Holy Bible in Gen. 2 vs 23-25 (therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife and they shall be one flesh.) in order for us to fulfill his commandment in the previous chapter which is Gen. 1 vs 28, which instruct man to go and multiply and increase on the surface of the earth'. so what i say is this, "seek ye first the kingdom God first in married companion, children, peace, love, security, and every other thing shall be added to your marriage". Lastly is only the truth that can set people free in life generally. Love u all


www.devinesingles..com

The man of God have spoke.
So if the word of God says, we dont have to marry, how many will divorce?
The thread holding marriages is so think that cant even be noticed.

MARRIAGE IS ORDAINED BY GOD. BUT PEOPLE DONT HAVE TO MARRY! MARRIAGE IS A CHOICE. IT HAS ITS BENEFITS AND RISKS.

MARRY BECAUSE YOU LOVE THE OTHER FROM THE HEART NOT JUST BECAUSE OF PHYSICAL OR MATERIAL THINGS AS IMPORTANT AS THESE ARE.

CHALLENGES WILL SURELY COME AND SOMETIMES VERY SERIOUS BUT ONE THING WILL HELP: YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.

SELFISHNESS IS THE ROOT CAUSE OF MARRIAGE BREAKDOWNS.