apart from what the bible says, this thing is just common sense.

We have to differentiate between [b]H[/b]usband, [b]M[/b]arraige and [b]F[/b]ather. I get so pissed when pipo tried to defend what i see as human error. what da hell do u need ur father's name for wen you have left his house to live with your husband, just like sayn ur Husbands name is useless and irrelivant to your life and ambitions, enuf of this already!

To me it is a sign of pride why? The bible even said in the book of ephesians 5 vs 22 that wife submit to your husbands and to me bearing your daddy's name after marriage is not a sign of submission to your husband and shows that the word of God is not followed coz also in mattew that a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cling to his husband and they shall become one and still bearing your fathers name does not portray leaving your father's house.If am the husband I won't take that no matter who the dad is.

[b]Hey, listen baby - your identity is what you're born with whether marriage or not.  Abi, these ladies are still their father's daughter whether they married the PRESIDENT or not, no bi so o o o o?

So, what's the heck and why should marriage take their birth rights away? After all, they've had their names on LIGHTS before these marriages and probably the reason their respective husbands showed interest in them in the first place, eh?  So, why shouldn't they keep their names? If the men in their lives feels belittled about it, don't they know what to do?  L E A V E !!! Again, I ask what has marriage got to do with who you are? It all boiled down to this African mentality about marriage - to us marriage meant, be all and end all for women and thank goodness this attitude is changing.

And whether Clinton and Rice answers their husbands name or whatever, that's their prerogative, the rest of us don't have to join them if we don't want to.  It is our prerogative too, to answer whatever we like and thank goodness we have that right.  Also you guys have to understand that, the 21st Century woman is no longer a man's property - they have careers and make their own money therefore have choices "to bear or not to bear their husbands names"

Please, stop moaning and focus on important matters in the family e.g feeding, educating, raising children investing for/keeping the family together that's quite alot to worry about in my view, and not about names!
[/b]

@poster
ur question is very very wrong becos it says "nigerian women". Almost all nigerian women bear deir husband's surname. I think ur concern shud be why dese women u named added deir fathers' name to deir names. Also, comparing dese Nigerian women to their U.S of A counterpart is wrong cos they are from diff countries nd tribe,so they have diff traditions nd beliefs. Anyways,if the husband is not complaining i wonder why anybody shuld. If my prospective wife wants 2bear her father's name then ll i be bothered. I think this is a personal issue rather dan national,

The more i read some of the posts, i realise (abeit sadly) that not a lot of people know God or what is
in any of his books.

hackney:

The more i read some of the posts, i realise (abeit sadly) that not a lot of people know God or what is
in any of his books.

You should have realized by now that we just do church weddings for formality sake what is obtainable after that is not based anymore solely by the Christian standard.  Lets live with it because at this rate in the nearest future it will be worst than these judging from the responses here.

Rubbish Rubbish and nonsence.
Ive said it before. What more does a 'man' want from a woman if she has said 'I love you,and I do' ? Is it not a man who doesnt satisfy his woman who'd ask such a silly irrelevant question? Abi did any of the women you people married or will marry fall from the sky? Didnt she grow up somewhere?
Doesnt the Bible you people are quoting left right and centre also mention a woman shall leave the parents and a man shall leave his parents to become one? How many of you funny-brought-up men have problems with your spouses and actually respect her enough to discuss your problem with her and not your mothers and sisters?
All of you talking scripture only know how to quote what will chastise the other person, but you dont look in the mirror when talking.
If you like dont go and work.
School fee's is waiting for you oh. . . . . . .Why do nigerian women bear their fathers name . . . .be asking qestions that expose your smallness!
Im so pissed!
Is this even a topic?

People should not get me wrong, it is better to ask questions for clarification than just judging solely from the post because you might be wrong in your interpretation.

well, I plan to keep my name when I am married. Women changing their name after marriage is a western Christain philosophy. It is not an African way. This is a big misconseptions. Most of the women in the world keep their last names except in western countries. In Latin America countries and Spain, Women legally keep their last name untill death. In Muslim countries such as Iran, Syria etc, Women keep their last name also

This is such a no topic. A woman can choose to bear whatever name she wants, as long as that settles well with her man. Think about it, if they couldn't agree on that, they wouldn't even be married anyway. So you know, everyones got their lives to live and our business is putting our noses in OUr own business, not ohter people's.

Bebrief, I think you just an insecure man. Sorry, but you really need to get a life

Ps: I'm a guy

True, everyone has the right to do whatever they want. As long as both people involved agree.

But, let us not be selfish and think about the future generation. I guess the reason why we don't have too many hyphenated surnames is coz by the time you get to your third generation, your surname will probably have 5 hyphens in it.

philip-okechukwu-charles-osondu-Ige-Obasanjo

Interesting post here, for real. Im a firm believer in doing things that add value to one's life and not doing it because its 'in' or the 'norm' or 'western'. a name is a big deal, i guess thats why no one[or rarely] is named Judas or even Jesus [excluding Latin American countries].

in relation to the post most examples of hypenated names you see are those of celebrities/children of wealthy/powerful parents. it adds value for the woman to leave her maiden name there like;

1. obasanjo-bello
2. jolie-pitt
3.pinkett-smith
4. banke meshida-lawal
5. children of wealthy british aristocracy etc

they leave them not because it sounds cool or because they love their father's names so much, but because of image rights[networking/connections] associated with the name and the cost of 'rebranding' themselves. that is why most of them leave it. there is a value attached. now a regular joe or josephine for that matter who doesnt have anything to gain value wise HAS to have a good reason for keeping her maiden name in an African context. i do agree that its a latin american/spanish thing to do this but certainly not african.

even celebrities dont always keep their maiden names. a prime example of an A list celeb is Victoria Beckham, and she's still successful.

so ladies you have your prerogative but ensure it has value when approaching your african husband about hyphenated surname and im sure he may agree [as long as the kids have his own surname]

It's a matter of choice.

MrCrackles:

What foolish fame does she have
Oh i geddit. . .Famed for looking like a disease ravaged babboon!

*Dies*

@poster.na wa for you oh!,the world is fast changing.please dont let yourself lag behind.

You see how you dey fool yaself. Condoleeza was never married, merkel does not even bare her current husbands name. Her first marriage ended in divorce and the man that she is married to now is not tearing his pant because his wife is not only not carrying his name but another man's name. How about that? You need to stop acting like an uneducated person. This is the second post I am reading that you started hoping to demean women but you just come off as very immature and childish. I guess the one that blew my mind was Hillary RODHAM Clinton. The whole world knows this. Rodham na her papa name not Bill Clinton's nickname. Please stop embarassing yourself. Mscheeeeeew

It's amazing how much women want to be independent and really do without their husbands. Why then bother about marriage? Isn't it an old tradition?

And for the men, I need male responses only. If you have no problems with women bearing their father's names, what if it's your own wife? There is a clear distinction between marriage and friendship, especially in the African context. Most of you (guys) who have no problem with it are not yet married. I bet you'll have a second opinion when you are.

A woman still have a History,that name identifies it,and men shouldn't be jealous because our families have played the major role in our lives.
Men you people should stop being too possessive,you complain even while she puts your name before her father's name.

Because they do not respect thier husband. And refuse to leave thier external family.
Build your own family and make your own name and stop looking for a father name to hang on to. Or looking for family to lean on.  It is a sign of not be matured.

Lady should change thier names to thier husband names. Look what if your son wife refuse to change her name. how would you feel.


I am a proud yorubaman. And not ashame to be call a yorubaman. I am not a bartard.

Guys please imagine if u were a babe and ur surname was Babangida (IBB) and u were married to one Ashiru will u discard ur surname?

Outstrip:

You see how you dey fool yaself. Condoleeza was never married, merkel does not even bare her current husbands name. Her first marriage ended in divorce and the man that she is married to now is not tearing his pant because his wife is not only not carrying his name but another man's name. How about that? You need to stop acting like an uneducated person. This is the second post I am reading that you started hoping to demean women but you just come off as very immature and childish. I guess the one that blew my mind was Hillary RODHAM Clinton. The whole world knows this. Rodham na her papa name not Bill Clinton's nickname. Please stop embarassing yourself. Mscheeeeeew

I will never demean women, nor suggest a male is superior to a female. I only fear for the 'harm' women will cause themselves if this trend continues with generations to come. Why be so short-sighted where much implications lies ahead. Too much independence will do womanhood no good. Think about this.

bebrief:

I will never demean women, nor suggest a male is superior to a female. I only fear for the 'harm' women will cause themselves if this trend continues with generations to come. Why be so short-sighted where much implications lies ahead. Too much independence will do womanhood no good. Think about this.

I am shocked at the highlighted. This can't be coming from a guy of this decade, you must 160 years old.
You mean independence is only good for men??

There is really no big deal about retaining her father's name.

Her father made her who she is. The man may probably not have married her if her father did not raise her well. Some men actually choose their wives because of who her father is.

So why should respecting the man's name be an issue?

//

I think there is no big deal, but the husband's nod is required

This issue boils down to inferiority complex which in extreme cases it can manifest itself in either withdrawn or aggressive social behavior. I think a reasonably well doing man will not bother on that, the father owns his child and if his daughter wants to retain his name fine. If your name is good to be associated with it will be retained till eternity, e.g Obafemi Awolowo who everyone knows to be an hero, every man that marries up his daughter will be proud to say her father is Awolowo. So why can she use the name if she wishes, all you men have to do is build your name to be reputable in the society.

PLEASE READ

I feel most people are really not ready for marriage at the time they do. Some just get married because the society sort of requires that of them. Marriage is not a contract but a covenant. If yours is a contract, then you can go the way you think it should go without regards to what your partner and God feels about it. If however you know its a covenant, then you'll understand its not just about you but about You, your partner and God.

When a man and a woman exchange marriage vows and are joined, they become one flesh. The lady is not one flesh with her father, her mother or any of her siblings. She becomes one flesh only with her husband, and same also applies to the man. If any lady or man is not ready to let go of where he or she is coming from, then that person is not ready for a GOOD MARRIAGE relationship.

There are things we do and decisions we take that we do not know lays foundation for a shaky family. I really pity those who use celebrities as a reference point on this issue, except if you want your marriage to be like theirs.

A lady I feel should continue bearing her father's name along with her husband's name only and only if they both agree with it and both are convincingly comfortable with it.

For a lady to say "how can I stop bearing my father's name because am married" or "my father trained me , sent me to school and all that how can i just stop bearing his name" is wrong and is a wrong perceptive to view her marriage. You'll probably stayed with your father for 30yrs and if you want to leave till 80yrs, you are supposed to have spent 50yrs with your husband(that assuming non dies before then). But even if you stay 2yrs with your husband and you are happy in your marriage am sure it's worth more than the 10yrs you've spent in your father's house.

Example: Paul Obi marries Rose Bello. The couple should be addressed as:

a. Mr Paul Obi and Mrs Rose Bello-Obi
b. Mr Paul Obi and Mrs Rose Bello
c. Mr and Mrs (Paul Obi and Rose Bello)
d. Mr and Mrs Paul Obi

If the two have become one, then why the division? The world will never know peace until divine wisdom prevails.

When a woman marries a less endowed man in comparism with her father, she will like to co-join the names to bring to bear, the influence of her father. But if her husband is more endowed and popular, she will adopt the husband's name. Aint it funny?

I have been reading this topic and have no choice but respond.You cant eat your cake and have it back is a popular saying.Marrying and bearing your father's name does not show a sign of independence,it does not change the attitude of ur husband,if he beats women he would still pound u to stupor.Having your father's name after marriage does not mean your husband cant treat you as a a slave and a property,it is not synonymous with development,so all of you shouting 21st century are all talking trash.Am a happily married man,my wife is like a mother,a sister,and most importantly a friend.She is the most important human being to me on planet earth,everything i do, she is the 1st to be considered and she feels the same way about me.Any woman who truly loves,trust,and cherishes her husband would never think of keeping her fathers name.If you dont feel secured with a man please dont marry him,if you are not ready to drop you father's name please dont marry,their is alot of sacrifice in marriage, lots of compromise,please if you are not ready to drop so many things you cherish please dont marry,why we have alot of senseless and immature posts here is cos 99% of posters are single.

Pharoh:

You should have realized by now that we just do church weddings for formality sake what is obtainable after that is not based anymore solely by the Christian standard.  Lets live with it because at this rate in the nearest future it will be worst than these judging from the responses here.

Very sad

The Real tin is a woman should drop her father's name once she's married. If you think your father's name sounds better than your intended husband's to be, why don't you remain in you father's house and enjoy his name, have children in his house and still give your father's name to them.

And for those of you refering to the Bible, How did God refer to Adam and Eve?? Didn't God know they are two people But the bible said , and He (God) called thier names Adam(refering to Adam and Eve).

Some men allow thier wives to keep their names just because they dont care But as for me, that woman must answer Mrs , Ayoola! Else no marry me.