so hilarious keep it up

Kingsley1000:
so hilarious keep it up

thanks

good evening guys..hope you are enjoying ur weekend..grap ur coke and let's laugh..

My mum be like...
Mum:So I'm talking to you and u are keeping quiet abi?
Me : but mum.
Mum:keep quiet when am talking!!!!

*Are you looking for a high paying financial investment biz to do. This pays like mad. E even pass HR. You get 900% of your investment in one week. I mean it in one week. For example if you invest N1000 you get N90,000 in one week time. If you are interested in this biz. Send me your full name, address, phone number and email let me send it to EFCC because you must be a criminal.*

Very funny

estilo:
Very funny

first female to comment.thank you very much..

DEDICATED TO ESTILO AND KINGSLEY1000 I attended a birthday party with a gathering of about 30 people.
A man sat in the front seat.
A lady started distributing food.
She started from the back and unfortunately, it didn't get to those who were sitting at the front.
Another lady started sharing the drinks, she started from the front. but unfortunately the man had already moved to sit at the back.
Again the drink didn't get to him.
He was so furious that he stood up to take his leave.
But then he saw three ladies each with a big bowl.
This time, he tried to be smart. he sat right at the middle.
One of the ladies started the sharing from the front, the second lady started distributing from the back.
The two ladies were sharing roasted chicken.
When they got to the middle, where he was seated, it got finished again!
Feeling so frustrated, he bent his head, putting his face in his hands...
But then the third lady tapped him and stretched her bowl for him to pick.
Joyfully he stretched and put his hands inside the bowl...
Guess what was in the bowl ?
*TOOTHPICKS !!!!*


*Moral*:
*DO NOT TRY* *to position* *yourself in life,*
*ALLOW GOD* *to put you* *in the right place*
*OTHERWISE* *you will* *wrongfully position* *yourself* *for* *toothpicks Only !!
* WISHING U AND UR ENTIRE FAMILY GOD'S POSITION.

Hmmm Nawa For all those rich people ooo. I went to see a friend from a very rich family. The maid approached me & asked.
MAID: What would u like to have, fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino , frapuccino or coffee?
ME: Tea pls.
MAID: Ceylon tea, Indian tea, herbal tea, kericho gold tea, bush tea or green tea?
ME: Ceylon tea pls.
MAID: how do u want it, black or white?
ME: White. ...
MAID: Milk or fresh cream?
ME: With milk.
MAID: Goat milk or cow milk?
ME: Cow’s milk.
MAID: Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?
ME: Uhm, lemme go with d freezeland cow.
MAID: Would u like it with sweetner, sugar or honey?
ME: Sugar.
MAID: Bee sugar or cane sugar?
ME: Cane sugar
MAID: White, brown or yellow sugar?
ME: Abeg, forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water...
MAID: Mineral, tap or distilled water?
ME: Mineral water.
MAID: flavored or non flavored?
ME: Infact get me an empty glass!
MAID: Do you want a tumbler, wine glass, champagne flute or a beer mug?
ME: Abeg, free me, I go swallow my spit..."

kinglekiss:

first female to comment.thank you very much..

You welcome

kinglekiss:
DEDICATED TO ESTILO AND KINGSLEY1000
I attended
a birthday party
with a gathering of
about 30 people.

A man sat in the front seat.

A lady started distributing food.

She started from
the back and unfortunately,
it didn't get to those who were sitting at the front.

Another lady started
sharing the drinks,
she started from
the front.
but unfortunately
the man had
already moved
to sit at the back.

Again
the drink
didn't get to him.

He was
so furious that
he stood up
to take his leave.

But then
he saw
three ladies
each with a big bowl.

This time,
he tried to be smart.
he sat right
at the middle.

One of the ladies
started the sharing
from the front,
the second lady
started
distributing from
the back.

The two ladies were
sharing roasted chicken.

When
they got
to the middle,
where he was seated,
it got finished again!

Feeling so frustrated,
he bent his head,
putting his face
in his hands...

But then
the third lady
tapped him
and
stretched her bowl
for him to pick.

Joyfully he stretched
and
put his hands
inside the bowl...

Guess
what was
in the bowl ?

*TOOTHPICKS !!!!*



*Moral*:

*DO NOT TRY*
*to position*
*yourself in life,*

*ALLOW GOD*
*to put you*
*in the right place*

*OTHERWISE*
*you will*
*wrongfully position*
*yourself*
*for*
*toothpicks Only !!

* WISHING U AND UR ENTIRE FAMILY GOD'S POSITION.

Thanks for the dedication.

I am waiting for more updates ...well done

jimfarayola:
I am waiting for more updates ...well done

thanks....
more update on the way but before then let's take a coffee ..

DEDICATED TO jimfarayola
Husband was sipping his whisky, while sitting in the balcony with wife and he says,

"I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you."

Wife asks, "Is that you, or the whisky talking?"

Husband replies, "It's me..... talking to whisky."
One point each.......Cheiii.

This got me laughing!....

Why I Will Never Teach Pre-School Kids Again!

At the creche where I work, there is a little girl named Vicky. She is so cute and sweet.

Yesterday, just before knocking off, I found her busy, trying to put on her shoes.

I approached her, and offered to help her. It was such a torrid time.

The boots seamed to be smaller than her size. It took me 5 minutes to help her wear them. When we were done, after making a steps away from her, she called me said "Teacher, you made me wear banana". When I looked at her shoes, to my embarrassment,

I realised I had misplaced her shoes - the banana style.

Upon trying to take off the shoes again, it took me 3 minutes. After struggling so much I eventually managed to remove them and tried putting them on again, this time the correct way. However, it was more difficult than the first time.

When I finished, she said: "Teacher, these shoes are not mine!"

I really got angry, but since I work with little kids, I had to be patient and control my anger. I struggled to remove the shoes. I then asked Vicky where her own shoes were and this is what she said:
"These shoes belong to my sister, my mum is the one who made me wear them in the morning today".

This time I boiled in anger. But since I always do my job perfectly and wholeheartedly, I helped her to put on the shoes again. When we were done, Vicky pulled another shocker, yet again. "What about the socks, teacher?" she asked.

I wondered whether I should laugh or cry.

Politely and swiftly I asked her, "Where are the socks Vicky?"

She innocently replied: "I shoved them in my shoes, they are in front of my toes"

I Simply Resigned!


- Unknown
Copied

I got served with ur jokes man..... Keep it coming......

kinglekiss:
DEDICATED TO jimfarayola
Husband was sipping his whisky, while sitting in the balcony with wife and he says,

"I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you."

Wife asks, "Is that you, or the whisky talking?"

Husband replies, "It's me..... talking to whisky."
One point each.......Cheiii.

I appreciate the dedication.... it got me cracking my ribs

keep it up dude ...would really like start a short comedy video skit

Kingsley1000:
keep it up dude ...would really like start a short comedy video skit

.
thanks man,u really gat my back..really appreciate it..

good evening..hope you are enjoying.. wait!!! have you laugh today..come on,let's laugh

DEDICATED TO MAH MAN(KINGSLEY1000)
.
When you're not fasting, you can stay till afternoon without getting hungry. But during fasting, even TV remote looks like gala in your eyes. But why??

That awkward moment when ur mum gave u 1000naira note to drop 50# and collect 950# change in church

Only for u to discover that ur crush is the usher after dropping d 1k and she was like *wow, how kind of u*


Story to be continue..

*My Grandma took one of my drinks which I mixed with tramadol, and she's busy taking selfies with the tv remote, but my family thinks it's because of her old age.*

He asked you out, you no gree. He then ask your friend out and she agreed. You are now calling him a womanizer, abeg, if u seek admission for Unilag and they no admit u,shey u no go try Lasu
.
.
laugh wan kill me

I can't even laugh again..

Wetin person no go see for this nija....someone call me dat am suppose to pay him because we were paired .......I told him i am not a member of MMM and he said bros pls send anytin u av, na God pair us not MMM.....lolzzzzzz

;DThat awkward moment after watching, cleaning,and cooking for your boyfriend and he says "the person that will marry you is so lucky", My sister, please hit him with a frying Pan for manual reset.

[color=#000099][/color]
Mum says Alcohol, sex and Night clubs are my Enemies....God says love your Enemies as yourself.... Should i obey Mummy or God

Just thinking

When a gurl is desperate to get married, her status will be like " I love washing plates,sweeping and cleaning the house. Thanks to you Mom for the training, thank God for the strength. "

Trippledee:
I got served with ur jokes man..... Keep it coming......

.
.ON THE WAY
..

GOOD MORNING AND HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT...HAVE A NICE DAY...
YOU CAN NOW FOLLOW ME ON IG AND MY USERNAME IS: Mr Afrikaa..
am sure you guys will follow me,most especially.
kingsley1000,
estilo
tasiii
tripledee
justmeal
evakinqs
sarz
blessedvisky
Dollipsejay
benblaq
popefuse
Seunpaul01
owi432
jimfarayola and the rest.....i wish to mention you all but I can't because I love you all....
thanks and have a nice day..

DEDICATED TO THE GUEST. . I cried for 12 hours wen an Oshogbo girl told me she is tall in complexion

DEDICATED TO WHOM I DON'T MENTION..
BREAKING NEWS!!Yesterday morning, some ladies raped a guy while he was going for jogging.This morning, over 700 guys were found jogging on that same road

can u imagine guys.....