Spending 12 years with him does not mean that you should take a very harsh decision, so that every thin will not get worst, just be calm and you look through his excuses if it is genue or not, if he has a good reason then u both hav to solve tins out, but if his reason is fake, u dont hv to be discourage, dont acuse him or any of his families, dont even think of what peoples might say, just continue with ur life without any despiration, and u will ha a better chance.

Run for your dear life my sister!

Bumbae1:
Hmmmm this is deep

Nothing deep there. Someone has to be brave
She should leave him abeg

jonaifame22:
I'm sure he has fvcked the hell outa u in those 12 yrs of datn, dnt worry he'll marry you, even if he chills wth young gals he still knows old wine tastes better

Pastor Israel

@ op, first of all, how old is this man, sorry, boy?

You know how some married couples will always say "after a while in marriage, you just get tired of your partner because you have SEEN IT ALL"? Well, thats where your child boo is at the moment. You've been doing all wifely duties only, not legally as a wife. So he has "seen it all" with you. I won't be surprised if your next post is : "my boyfriend of twelve years says he's tired of me and has found the love of his life"

Sister, move on with your life. Two things can happen with the moving on. Either you meet the right man for you and have a happy life, or you give him a jolt with the breakup and then he marries you. Either way, you can't keep waiting for him. You have to do something.

My dear sister do u want to wait until u reach Menopause ..wake up. Don't sit down on a lonnng thing!

Please who has watched the movie "Twelve years a slave"?

BUTCHCASSIDY:
Pastor Israel

my oga

12yrs of yanshing 1 guy datz posting u? u must hold d following degres
-diploma in Dating sciences (2yrs)
-Bsc in Relationship engineering (5yrs)
-Msc in Courtship & emotions (2yrs)
-Phd in Time wasting, emotional attaching & and chilling with a fvckboi for 12yrs (3yrs) Congrats

Awww, you left it too long. My sister @ 40, menopause is beckoning. Honestly your case saddens my heart so much I wished I could see you and shout it loudly iinto your ears. Why is he not ready? Is he financially handicapped? Is either of you insistent on a big society wedding? A man can get married at 70years and impregnate a woman still but not so for us. You will wake up one day to a rude shock that your old papa youngi has put some young girl in the family way and this same family of his will give you the cold shoulder treatment.

Don't give him the luxury of patience anymore, haba! 12 years isn't yam and beans. Call him and find out the exact reasons why he's holding back. You can do a low budget wedding if it's money. You can live in a modest and simple apartment pending, just find out what his real reasons are. Are you working? You can support him if you are since it appears you love him so much to have waited this long. Sister you've been sleeping, you just have to wake up!

U must have a lot of money. Wait a little longer and sponsor his wedding to someone else. Our wife

jonaifame22:
I'm sure he has fvcked the hell outa u in those 12 yrs of datn, dnt worry he'll marry you, even if he chills wth young gals he still knows old wine tastes better

Madam...they fuccked each other. And Op isnt complaining about that.

If you cant advise the Op without bringing what doesnt matter into it....keep your mouth shut.

What I see here is " Why buy the Cow if you can get the milk for free". To me he has seen free keep. well have a hrt to hrt talk with him and give him 6 months from now to decide. While ur waiting, keep praying for God to direct u and if possible start a platonic relationship with another guy that u believe is a prospect. God help u my sister.

I know your so called boyfriend abi na fiancee will be among the people cursing PMB that he has not done any tangible thing in office for 2yrs in office but he has dated you for 12yrs which is equal to 3 political tenures without doing tangible thing on your head. Between your boyfriend and PMB who is more wicked?

I'm going back to bed, this is too much for me to process.

Sapphire86:
Wow.... wickedness at its peak!!

Sweetie, you are dating a child Not a man. Unfortunately he sees you as a constant in his life that is going NOWHERE. He has succeeded in blackmailing you emotionally.

My dear, how many times have you cooked, cleaned, opened your legs (and probably aborted) for him
Forget the deceitful introduction his family.members give you at outings; it's all a camouflage. Are you saying if he impregnates one of those small girls, his family will choose you over her??

My dear, you CANNOT keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results - it's called MADNESS.
Now that the deed has been done, what should you do?

1. Dump your child of a man if you want 2017 to be different for you. Either he mans up and makes a honest woman out of you or he walks out of your life permanently for good.

2. Shun any family member of his tryna make you rescind your decision because if you were their daughter, they won't open their eyes and allow their daughter stay in an auto pilot plane permanently.

3. Pray to God and bombard heaven aggressively.

2017 shall be your year. You will meet your own husband and recover your lost years in Jesus name.

See advise?

I just pity women who seek advice from fellow women, na problem em dey ask for.

She should end a 12yr affair, cut off his family and start again & turn prayer warrior


Lols see advice.

This reminds me of that polplar Afro American movie











12 years a slave

As much as I do not support double dating, I think if someone like you does it, we really shouldn't blame you. It isn't easy just walking away cos that would amount to throwing away 12 good years of your life and there is no certainty that you will get married the moment you walk away from him. As it is, there is the possibility of you losing out completely in both ways, and I really do feel for you.

But there are different types of men though. Some of us are looking for decent ladies we can date and close up shop with, within one year. Some are busy doing everlasting dating... How old is the man in question? Only God can help you,miss.

Dump him ..... period

12 wasted years and still nothing don fall out. Its a pity.

Sapphire86:
Wow.... wickedness at its peak!!

Sweetie, you are dating a child Not a man. Unfortunately he sees you as a constant in his life that is going NOWHERE. He has succeeded in blackmailing you emotionally.

My dear, how many times have you cooked, cleaned, opened your legs (and probably aborted) for him
Forget the deceitful introduction his family.members give you at outings; it's all a camouflage. Are you saying if he impregnates one of those small girls, his family will choose you over her??

My dear, you CANNOT keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results - it's called MADNESS.
Now that the deed has been done, what should you do?

1. Dump your child of a man if you want 2017 to be different for you. Either he mans up and makes a honest woman out of you or he walks out of your life permanently for good.

2. Shun any family member of his tryna make you rescind your decision because if you were their daughter, they won't open their eyes and allow their daughter stay in an auto pilot plane permanently.

3. Pray to God and bombard heaven aggressively.

2017 shall be your year. You will meet your own husband and recover your lost years in Jesus name.

..........wow your advice is superb.you are wonderfully matured

placeofallure:
Awww, you left it too long. My sister @ 40, menopause is beckoning. Honestly your case saddens my heart so much I wished I could see you and shout it loudly iinto your ears. Why is he not ready? Is he financially handicapped? Is either of you insistent on a big society wedding? A man can get married at 70years and impregnate a woman still but not so for us. You will wake up one day to a rude shock that your old papa youngi has put some young girl in the family way and this same family of his will give you the cold shoulder treatment.

Don't give him the luxury of patience anymore, haba! 12 years isn't yam and beans. Call him and find out the exact reasons why he's holding back. You can do a low budget wedding if it's money. You can live in a modest and simple apartment pending, just find out what his real reasons are. Are you working? You can support him if you are since it appears you love him so much to have waited this long. Sister you've been sleeping, you just have to wake up!

......my sis that's a very candid advice.u are on point

My dear you should have been out of that relationship since 8or 7 years ago,how on earth can you date a man for 12yrs.what have you been thinking.forget love matter sometimes it leads to sorrow.pls talk to this man seriously if he isn't ready within 2or 3 months ,move on with your life and try to forget your past.dress well and maintain your self ,your good behavior will attract another serious guy.

Sapphire86:
Wow.... wickedness at its peak!!

Sweetie, you are dating a child Not a man. Unfortunately he sees you as a constant in his life that is going NOWHERE. He has succeeded in blackmailing you emotionally.

My dear, how many times have you cooked, cleaned, opened your legs (and probably aborted) for him
Forget the deceitful introduction his family.members give you at outings; it's all a camouflage. Are you saying if he impregnates one of those small girls, his family will choose you over her??

My dear, you CANNOT keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results - it's called MADNESS.
Now that the deed has been done, what should you do?

1. Dump your child of a man if you want 2017 to be different for you. Either he mans up and makes a honest woman out of you or he walks out of your life permanently for good.

2. Shun any family member of his tryna make you rescind your decision because if you were their daughter, they won't open their eyes and allow their daughter stay in an auto pilot plane permanently.

3. Pray to God and bombard heaven aggressively.

2017 shall be your year. You will meet your own husband and recover your lost years in Jesus name.

God bless you. The man is a child.

amakadihot87:
..........wow your advice is superb.you are wonderfully matured

Thank you. That's what life will do to one and if one is wise, he or she will learn from it.

saintdennis:


See advise?

I just pity women who seek advice from fellow women, na problem em dey ask for.

She should end a 12yr affair, cut off his family and start again & turn prayer warrior


Lols see advice.

And that's the problem with human beings. Sometimes you have to let go of the life you have in order to have the life you want.

Are you telling me if the lady in question was your sister, you'd honestly tell her to keep logging in the years knowing that she is close to 40?

All the years she had spent, has it yielded her her desires?
Pls let her be radical and try something different joor.

That guy is devilish, evil and up to no good.
He would not marry you ,just do yourself a favour by start alienating yourself from him.Start praying to God and hopefully someone way better will come your way.

Do you have any issues for him? If yes, you're as good as married. Just increase the pressure on him. If no, blow out your safety valves! Pressure him to the highest. The thing with this strategy is, if he would break at the pressure, let him break now! Because 40 is no joke. I just believe the more serious you take the issue, the more he will feel the heat. You seem relaxed to me.

Meanwhile, in all that try to understand his real fears! He is not ready for a reason! What is that reason? Know it. And figure out a way of getting around it. And do that fast.

#My2CentsOnTheMatter

This is serious.

If he has a job that gives him steady flow of income, he has no excuse.

If he has flow of money through hustle but without a regular job, he has no excuse.

If he doesn't have the aforementioned but you do, set him up or assist him within your power (not going overboard) IF that is the problem.

But you said he has other younger girls, which means he has little cash. It is either he sees no future with YOU due to reasons best known to him OR he is a very unserious man.

NOW TO YOU:
Do you see yourself happy in this state? I guess no!

Have you in any way acted or do you act in manners that he has been highly uncomfortable of? Is there a character or trait about you that he has complained of, which could be making him scared of commitment?

Honestly, some guys are scared with some traits/characters of ladies they "truly love", but would rather clear their minds before tying the knots or seek alternative if unsatisfied. Though that isn't enough justification for your boo irrespective.

Truth is @30 you aren't as "appealing" as those under of age of 25 in the "beauty market". If you stay longer in your present state your man may find you completely "not useful" and may seek for a much younger girl's hand in marriage... THIS IS HARD TRUTH.

ADVICE
I think you have to give him a 1 month ultimatum to either kick start the marriage process or you walk away. Within this 1 month, go on no contact with him until you are satisfied he is doing the needful. If within the 1 month period he failed to, it automatically means unseriousness from him. WALK AWAY!

God Wey Do Make Ma Boo Say Bae We Re Gettin Married Dis Year Afta 7yrs Go Do Ur Own... Just Day Table Him Matta B4 God, Dy Call Him Name As U Dy Pray Evry Mornin... Our God Dy Ansa Praya... 12yrs No B Agidi O... Were U Start Frm At 38?... Ma Case Is Different Bcous I Dy Near 25...

He wont marry you by ``accidentally`` impregnating another lady