See the number of females on this thread.

Anyways, i think its not enough to break the marriage.

PS: Am married.

I believe sex is complicated. She wants absolute dedication, he probably wants the family but doesnt find her sexually attractive. At the end, the son bears the brunt.

I know for sure that if i desire a divorce right now, the thought of my children wont let me go ahead as planned.

She should think of her son before plunging him into single parentage, its not the best.

ndusam17:
I am surprised to hear or know you are a man in the first place..... You just sounded like a village girl. #unbelievable#

because he refused to support a cheating man that's why he sounds like a village girl? #unbelievable.

Tomjazzy2:



My initial post was not a justification for infidelity. I just stated the obvious.



Do you know the ratio of faithful men to unfaithful ones?

I strongly believe that by first acknowledging that infidelity in our society is on the rise, we can then be better prepared to tackling it.


Personally, I won't be surprised if tomorrow my future wife cheats on me, no. Though I would be pained, but I would rather concetrate on doing everything that would avert such from happening.




Infidelity in marriages must be condemned by all with the strongest terms

Glad to know that u also think this way too. Dman! Infidelity is on the rise than ever and when you don't join , they call you a weakling.

She never start. Even if you marry a Pastor worse can still happen. Example Apostle Suleiman of recent. I will only advice her to quit if she discovered he did things without protection.

eyinjuege:


Hope that's also applicable when the woman decides to also sex chat with her ex, or a new toaster who loves married women.

yes na...... or wat were u tinking? why i emphasized on d man is dat men are more in power to control deir homes...... but b it men or women, cheating no epp anybody

Tomjazzy2:
As tereble as this may sound, but the earlier ladies started accepting the fact that men generally speaking, are polygamous in nature, the better for their sanity.



If you eventually find a man who is faithful- there aren't much around nowadays- you'd consider your self lucky, but if you don't, you just try as much as possible to device a means of handling him

For real. I don't understand the unrealistic standards and sense of entitlement that many young women of nowadays have afflicted themselves with. It is beyond ridiculous.

Wise older generation women knew that you simply can't expect most men to be faithful to you alone for life. It's not gonna happen. Simple.

Men don't get into marriage because they want to stick to one woman. They get into marriage because of societal norms - because it is deemed 'normal' for a man of a certain age and accomplishment to get married. Women need to get this into their block heads.

Just manage your husband well and make sure he doesn't disrespect you by cheating relentlessly to your face and making no effort to hide it. That's all a reasonable woman needs to do. You can't have him all to yourself except he is hopelessly broke and socially awkward. A normal correct guy man with a decent income cannot be tied down for life. This is a conclusive assertion. No two ways about it. If you're a woman and this sounds too bitter to swallow, then please stay off marriage and remain single for life. Don't attempt to look for what is simply not available.

Only a very foolish woman would make too much noise about a so-called cheating husband, let alone contemplate divorce. Divorce him and marry who? Who says the next man wouldn't cheat even worse? I laugh.

@OP have your sister ask herself.. does she want to get married to JESUS she should STFDown and manage it.. Marriage is not a bed of roses and getting married comes with emotional management work. nobody is perfect. divorce him. .he will get along and many girls will come after you.. will it be the same for you?

dhardline:
From sexting on whatsapp to maybe doing it in real life. There are things I can't even take in a relationship let alone in marriage. Let her talk to him and find a solution if he's willing to change.

He isnt willing to change, he alrdy left d house for 3days, who does that?

Sorry about your sister and husband splitting. I'm not married,and I won't claim to know soo much about marriage,the truth is no one knows,you can only hope and pray that whomever you want to spend the rest of your life with is the right person for you.
Your posts have a lot of gaps, is this the first time your sister is having this problem with her husband, secondly,her reaction seems abnormal, its like she's hiding something,I don't believe there is a guy in this modern times who doesn't have sex chats.....its not nice,childish but not harmful..... So her reaction isnt normal.
It seems this couple have more issues than just sex chats. I think it would be nice if both parents are invited or better still,give them sometime before trying to talk to them,maybe tempers would have cooled by then. But whatever happens please don't take sides.
Pray for them......

Strahovski1:
Tell her to proceed on the divorce. Infact, help her pay the bills of the law suit

Modified
----

To those saying it's not enough. I bet 80% of you are single and you have no idea indeed what contents are of marriage. Yes.

Marriage IS NOT a task! Neither is it some kind of Job or Project. It's not a do or die affair. It's a union where 2 happy people come together as 1. So your sister shouldn't be in such union as her happiness has been slain. Why live with a man knowing well, that he is sleeping with another woman? The thought of it alone can lead to depression. Let's be realistic.

Irrespective of how they sort it out and settle the dispute, the scar would always be there. When she see him making a call, she would be suspicious. If she see him greet a woman she would be suspicious. She would always have the thought that he is sleeping with other women though she may not express this. But she would never forget. And this is not good at all. So what is the point? Is it by force? Why live in depression especially when the woman he is chatting with looks better or sexier than she is.

So let her be.

P.s I'm a married man and yet, I don't encourage anyone to stay in a marriage where infidelity looms.

So for every marriage u ain't contented wt u jst quit & go for anoda, so called serial monogamy
One thing u're turning a blind eye at is d fact dat no marriage is perfect. Hence, u don't go into a relationship expecting it to be a bed of roses. U rather work to make it one. Besides, wen u're married, it's not jst abt 2 pipu anymore. Woteva action u take affects others, esp d kids.

The existence of sensible men like Strahovski1 renews my hope in humanity.

For the "marriage is not a bed of roses" folks, hope you'd hold the same view if it were a woman caught in the act of sex chatting?

BlinkyBling:
So he was sex chatting and she wants to lEave?

C'mom it's. Not a big deal. Maatured women know their hubby flirting does not change much
"Men will always be men"

If she leaves anoda woman will replace. Her and live goes on

Who will marry a married woman wit a child?
Bottom line: she should get over it already n make it work

Lol saids who that nobody can marry her?
genuine responsible man can still come for her depending on her package and how her body is.

BoiledHead:
My sister is about to put an end to her marriage in a very dangerous way. What happened?

She caught her husband sex chatting on whatsapp. She didn't even catch him physically sexing but chatting and she wants to put an end. Their son would be celebrating his 5 years birthday soon and is this the gift they wish to give the young chap?

I have tried my best to talk to her but I have no idea on how to go about this afterall, I'm single. She was like "what do you know about marriage?". The husband on the other hand hasn't taken my calls and he angrily left the house since 3 days.

Big bros and sis In the house, what advice can I give to my sister?

This sounds childish to me, is not even necessary tho

Strahovski1:
Tell her to proceed on the divorce. Infact, help her pay the bills of the law suit

Modified
----
To those saying it's not enough. I bet 80% of you are single and you have no idea indeed what contents are of marriage. Yes.

Marriage IS NOT a task! Neither is it some kind of Job or Project....P.s I'm a married man and yet, I don't encourage anyone to stay in a marriage where infidelity looms.

Don't keep those rose-tinted glasses on for too long.

A good marriage takes hard work and discipline. To pretend that things will always be peace and pancakes between spouses is to fool one's self. If your advice is to cut and run at the first sign of trouble, well...I comment my reserve

As one speaker once asked, "how would you feel if all you had to eat for the rest of your life was eba, eba, eba?" . Marriage is like deciding to wear one shirt for life, knowing you will encounter all sorts of shirts with exciting colors and nice cuts. It's doable, but to pretend that it is easy is bonkers. I don't condone cheating, but you're preaching an unrealistic version of marriage.

Ahmed0336:
Abeg, do not complicate this matter.

But that's true



@Op, allow your sister make decisions about this. If the man were to responsible, he would have addressed the issue and not bolt. This suggests there's much more you don't know of. And all ye 'husband is scarce ' chanters, na una no go find/be better husband
Cos, I know plenty responsible men who doesn't feel they are a gift or favor to women and the world at large
#idiots!

Strahovski1:
Tell her to proceed on the divorce. Infact, help her pay the bills of the law suit

Modified
----

To those saying it's not enough. I bet 80% of you are single and you have no idea indeed what contents are of marriage. Yes.

Marriage IS NOT a task! Neither is it some kind of Job or Project. It's not a do or die affair. It's a union where 2 happy people come together as 1. So your sister shouldn't be in such union as her happiness has been slain. Why live with a man knowing well, that he is sleeping with another woman? The thought of it alone can lead to depression. Let's be realistic.

Irrespective of how they sort it out and settle the dispute, the scar would always be there. When she see him making a call, she would be suspicious. If she see him greet a woman she would be suspicious. She would always have the thought that he is sleeping with other women though she may not express this. But she would never forget. And this is not good at all. So what is the point? Is it by force? Why live in depression especially when the woman he is chatting with looks better or sexier than she is.

So let her be.

P.s I'm a married man and yet, I don't encourage anyone to stay in a marriage where infidelity looms.

it's a shame u re claiming to be married,let me ask u,wht is the guarantee that d next guy won't do the same,marriage is nt full of roses,a mixture of thorns as well,if the man have been a wonderful man to her,apart from this sex chat she saw.who is perfect,we all have our low point.so advicing her to divorce is a very wrong advice

Benignasweety:
This is not about sex life not going well, younguys cant seem to be just into one woman, am really down cuz am going tru dxame.

Trust me, this particular case is. A man who's h0rny will go down with 'almost' any girl he fancies around him. If everything was right, he'd have gone down with his wife. No straight man prefers sexchat over sex


What's your own story?

FILEBE:



Glad to know that u also think this way too. Dman! Infidelity is on the rise than ever and when you don't join , they call you a weakling.

you dey mind dem?

kingreign:


Tell your sister, to find a good man is hard, really hard, really really hard.
If he handles his responsibilities well, the issue of sexchatting or flirting (which can be checked anyways) is a small thing. So she saw a tiny bit of wood in the cereals she's gonna throw away the whole grains?
She had better woke up to her responsibilities, get a damn internet enabled phone and sexchat him too, then fulfil all his sexual fantacies when they meet in private.

You were mis-educated Sir

Bembem1:
If she go ahead to divorce her husband, she should bear in mind a few challenges.
1.Will she remarry someday?
2. As a divorcee and single mother, she has a slim chance of meeting a single guy without baggages
3. Would a Nigerian man take care of a kid that's not his?
4. Is she planning to have a blended family incase she meets a guy with kids
5. Is she aware of what it takes a guy to date a single mother?
6. Is she planning to stay single for the rest of her life and no seex?or just messing with different guys

There are lot to loose as a divorced woman with kids in the society compared to men.
Men always win even if they have baby mamas, a single girl with no kid would still marry them.

Fact!!!but all these u wrote up there are the reasons why Nigerian men misbehave ,having said that,it is fair?
Well,the women in question shld know that its not a must to re marry, but that doesn't stop her from having a bang mate in future.

The man has even left the house for 3days!!!Who does that? He was caught and still foaming James bond,if the woman was the one caught na...we all would have said,"dump the bitch" "those bitches can't be trusted" and so on...but in the man's case ,we are saying she shld mend her home,giving list of what she will lose if she end the marriage.
In a nutshell ,let her move on,not by force to re marry.

Sometimes we don't check our sexual compatibility before tying the knot. The man could want various sexual acts that she does not like probably because of her religious doctrine or the way she was raised. Marriage is hard I tell you. That's why I don't accept the whole wait till wedding night thingy! What if I'm not big enough for you, what if you're lazy in bed and I don't like that, what if you just prefer the missionary because your pastor says others are wrong, what if you don't like the Mouth Action or anal or others. That man must cheat because he's not satisfied and soon he won't find his wife sexually arousing him

Strahovski1:
Tell her to proceed on the divorce. Infact, help her pay the bills of the law suit

Modified
----

To those saying it's not enough. I bet 80% of you are single and you have no idea indeed what contents are of marriage. Yes.

Marriage IS NOT a task! Neither is it some kind of Job or Project. It's not a do or die affair. It's a union where 2 happy people come together as 1. So your sister shouldn't be in such union as her happiness has been slain. Why live with a man knowing well, that he is sleeping with another woman? The thought of it alone can lead to depression. Let's be realistic.

Irrespective of how they sort it out and settle the dispute, the scar would always be there. When she see him making a call, she would be suspicious. If she see him greet a woman she would be suspicious. She would always have the thought that he is sleeping with other women though she may not express this. But she would never forget. And this is not good at all. So what is the point? Is it by force? Why live in depression especially when the woman he is chatting with looks better or sexier than she is.

So let her be.

P.s I'm a married man and yet, I don't encourage anyone to stay in a marriage where infidelity looms.

No court will grant a divorce based on sexting That is to tell you how off base she is.

But she can always move out and they leave separately for, is it one year (or two years) as per Nigerian laws and courts can grant divorce base on that separation.

The truth is calling it quit over sexting is rather dramatic and an over reaction, it kind of begs the question what the marriage is worth to her and suggests that, she has been looking for a way out for a long time and might as well cash in on this golden opportunity.

I think I am coming to the same conclusions like you, which is for her to call it quit but for different reasons.

BoiledHead:
My sister is about to put an end to her marriage in a very dangerous way. What happened?

She caught her husband sex chatting on whatsapp. She didn't even catch him physically sexing but chatting and she wants to put an end. Their son would be celebrating his 5 years birthday soon and is this the gift they wish to give the young chap?

I have tried my best to talk to her but I have no idea on how to go about this afterall, I'm single. She was like "what do you know about marriage?". The husband on the other hand hasn't taken my calls and he angrily left the house since 3 days.

Big bros and sis In the house, what advice can I give to my sister?

She asked you alwhat do you know about marriage?

Tell her one toks on nairaland is begging her to divorce her husband fast and in fact she should do it as fast as she could so that she can move on with a faithful husband.

Your sister is a learner who knows nothing about marriage.

Tell your sister!

Counselling will only do nothing but make him stop sexchatting when his wife is around. A cheat will always cheat. He will be more careful next time but he won't stop cheating.

Strahovski1:
Tell her to proceed on the divorce. Infact, help her pay the bills of the law suit

Modified
----

To those saying it's not enough. I bet 80% of you are single and you have no idea indeed what contents are of marriage. Yes.

Marriage IS NOT a task! Neither is it some kind of Job or Project. It's not a do or die affair. It's a union where 2 happy people come together as 1. So your sister shouldn't be in such union as her happiness has been slain. Why live with a man knowing well, that he is sleeping with another woman? The thought of it alone can lead to depression. Let's be realistic.

Irrespective of how they sort it out and settle the dispute, the scar would always be there. When she see him making a call, she would be suspicious. If she see him greet a woman she would be suspicious. She would always have the thought that he is sleeping with other women though she may not express this. But she would never forget. And this is not good at all. So what is the point? Is it by force? Why live in depression especially when the woman he is chatting with looks better or sexier than she is.

So let her be.

P.s I'm a married man and yet, I don't encourage anyone to stay in a marriage where infidelity looms.

No, a married man does not talk like this. You may be justified in your opinion but getting a divorce is not the best solution. Who's to tell she will not get cheated on in another marriage? Who's to tell if she indeed is not cheating? Who's to tell if she did not lead him down that part.
Now before y'all crucify me, I don't condone cheating

Strahovski1:
Tell her to proceed on the divorce. Infact, help her pay the bills of the law suit

Modified
----

To those saying it's not enough. I bet 80% of you are single and you have no idea indeed what contents are of marriage. Yes.

Marriage IS NOT a task! Neither is it some kind of Job or Project. It's not a do or die affair. It's a union where 2 happy people come together as 1. So your sister shouldn't be in such union as her happiness has been slain. Why live with a man knowing well, that he is sleeping with another woman? The thought of it alone can lead to depression. Let's be realistic.

Irrespective of how they sort it out and settle the dispute, the scar would always be there. When she see him making a call, she would be suspicious. If she see him greet a woman she would be suspicious. She would always have the thought that he is sleeping with other women though she may not express this. But she would never forget. And this is not good at all. So what is the point? Is it by force? Why live in depression especially when the woman he is chatting with looks better or sexier than she is.

So let her be.

P.s I'm a married man and yet, I don't encourage anyone to stay in a marriage where infidelity looms.

Marriage IS NOT a task! Neither is it some kind of Job or Project. It's not a do or die affair. It's a union where 2 happy people come together as 1. So your sister shouldn't be in such union as her happiness has been slain. Why live with a man knowing well, that he is sleeping with another woman? The thought of it alone can lead to depression. Let's be realistic


i pity your younger ones if a so called married man can dish out gutter like you did ...perhaps your comprehension of english is poor.. and i can deduce if ur truly married, your still a newbie in it, calm down,may the above issue never be your problem, then some unknown illetarte nairalander advises your wife to leave you...

that being said read well, where did the guy say the girl caught the the husband ''sleeping'' with another woman? cos am quoting you...

secondly man will always lust for what he believes he lacks...what happened to advising the couple to come together to discuss what ever the husband believes his wife lacks...thats hes doing online?

the poor op, came for amicable solution..see the error u have poured into his mind...i doubt your realy married..if you are...karma will fukc u dry i hope.


Irrespective of how they sort it out and settle the dispute, the scar would always be there. When she see him making a call, she would be suspicious. If she see him greet a woman she would be suspicious. She would always have the thought that he is sleeping with other women though she may not express this. But she would never forget. And this is not good at all. So what is the point? Is it by force? Why live in depression especially when the woman he is chatting with looks better or sexier than she is.


your haflbaked and not mature,...not sure what to make of your statements...so its the mans fault she cant control her thoughts and suspicions right? the fact that your weak willed is my fault right?

i pity an one that sees an iota of sense in what you posted....age isnt maturity and maturity isnt age...so hush with this your am married poo.

@op

do your best to stop what she wants to do, cos the worst hit would be the child...and if care isnt taken society..shes being petty, tellher to consider her child, also, the man like all normal well meaning men...though was caught doing something stupid..(i dont know the extent of the sexchat) will storm out ofthe house with anger, because ....though he isnt innocent,to some extent didnt touch another woman.

God will be ur guide

Still talk to her, she shouldn't do anything like that, but while will she go and check her husband's phone, yea i know it's not easy but she wouldn't have open his phone, she should be strong for her son please

Shortyy:

Abi o.. Anyways, regardless if it was just secxchat, I'll advice them to go for counselling, but if he actually cheated? She should just leave. A cheating man doesn't deserve any sort of pity.

pity ke...some men dy pray for divorce these days sef...na who lose?

Strahovski1:
Tell her to proceed on the divorce. Infact, help her pay the bills of the law suit

Modified
----

To those saying it's not enough. I bet 80% of you are single and you have no idea indeed what contents are of marriage. Yes.

Marriage IS NOT a task! Neither is it some kind of Job or Project. It's not a do or die affair. It's a union where 2 happy people come together as 1. So your sister shouldn't be in such union as her happiness has been slain. Why live with a man knowing well, that he is sleeping with another woman? The thought of it alone can lead to depression. Let's be realistic.

Irrespective of how they sort it out and settle the dispute, the scar would always be there. When she see him making a call, she would be suspicious. If she see him greet a woman she would be suspicious. She would always have the thought that he is sleeping with other women though she may not express this. But she would never forget. And this is not good at all. So what is the point? Is it by force? Why live in depression especially when the woman he is chatting with looks better or sexier than she is.

So let her be.

P.s I'm a married man and yet, I don't encourage anyone to stay in a marriage where infidelity looms.

No, a married man does not talk like this. You may be justified in your opinion but getting a divorce is not the best solution. Who's to tell she will not get cheated on in another marriage? Who's to tell if she indeed is not cheating? Who's to tell if she did not lead him down that part.
Now before y'all crucify me, I don't condone cheating in whatever form... But whatever happened to good old forgiveness, why are we so impatient these days, why can't we be like our parents of old, some marriages have lasted for 50years and it is not because they had no issues of infidelity, no but because "when something is broken they fix it" instead of walking away.
Now have u considered the effect a divorce will have on the life of their son? No matter their best intentions, that boy will feel the brunt one way or the other.
So instead of getting a divorce, they should sit down and talk like the adults they are. The man should come clean and the woman should be ready to forgive and move on.
Marriage is a two person thing, it takes two to make it work. There are imperfections but make the best of whatever it is that is or are the imperfections.
She may be very justified knowing that she is very faithful, but that is not the be all. Know your man and work around his imperfections. Help HIM.

Let your sister divorce and go marry Angel Micheal because I tell you for free 99.9% of men cheat, just whatsapp chats and she's planning to leave, I hope she's not planning to get married or get hooked to any other Man because she will continue to move from one man to another till death.

Let's face the fact, men Cheats, argue at your own risk.... If you haven't caught your man, he's always very careful, and at least respect you enough to keep things away from you.

If a man is taking good care of his home and doing his job very well, then you don't have anything to worry about, that doesn't mean you won't get angry whenever he does but have it at the back of your mind that that's nature.

Even though we know it's not Good and not be encouraged but that's the truth. After all most of you have started having SEX outside wedlock naa, that one too no b sin?