gabi101:
OP i think you exposed your weak point to her by expressing you love for her,you should have kept her guessing with your actions...anyways my advice her is to ignore the girl completely(let her get a taste of her own coffee),make more female friends too and if you come across her, act like everything is cool(ordinary friend) and go your way

0079jaBond:
I've a female friend whom I once expressed my love for but we didn't enter into a relationship because neither of us was ready to commit to it at that time. We met in school and we've had some ups and downs in the past.

There's this attitude of hers that bothers me and I had made up my mind to let go of her. Sometimes, she seems all nice and good but all of a sudden, she begins to act differently. I've experienced this in our face-to-face conversations and online chats (which is the most annoying). Could it be personality disorder, mood swing, dishonesty or friendzoning tactics on her part? Or is it me overreacting? Or there's something wrong with me in some way that turns her off?

Whatever be the case anyway, I already decided from December last year to FINALLY erase her. Take note of the word 'finally' because similar decisions were made once or twice before, only for her to return and it seemed good until shit happened again. There was a time she appeared to have taken such stance also and I broke it off and then we went back to point zero. Well, it's not as if I'm hating her or kicking her out of my life; I simply don't want any emotional/psychological torture caused by her attitude. Until she comes clean and straight before we can be good.

So last December was the last straw as earlier said. She never returned any of my calls; I chat her up and complained, only to get an unconvincing excuse. It appeared I was being too "pushy" and I concluded it has got to be the time to back off completely. I couldn't afford to start the new year with old, unimproving, discomforting and insincere friendships/relationships. Though I'd still be her friend but I'd drastically reduce the ties, maintain my composure much better and get involved with other things.

Now she's back. She jokingly asked why we weren't close as before and apologised if she did any wrong. This is the usual drill, so I smiled and made her realise I had moved on. We got chatty for a bit till she ignored me and I've not heard a word from her since then. This is pissing me off and I can't take it anymore which is why I'm humbly seeking your help.

Should I:
a) Talk to her and let her realise the hurting attitude? But wouldn't that make me look somehow?
b) Forget about her and if at anytime she beeps me, I should ignore her too? Or
c) ..... (please help me fill it)


Thank you...

0079jaBond:


I'll call this '007 action style' which I like and ur point is another reason why I like understanding differing views so that I won't rush anything.

But now, how do I go about it so I won't fall again? ''once beaten twice shy, and if I'm beaten a second time, then kuku kee me", you catch?

0079jaBond:
I've a female friend whom I once expressed my love for but we didn't enter into a relationship because neither of us was ready to commit to it at that time. We met in school and we've had some ups and downs in the past.

There's this attitude of hers that bothers me and I had made up my mind to let go of her. Sometimes, she seems all nice and good but all of a sudden, she begins to act differently. I've experienced this in our face-to-face conversations and online chats (which is the most annoying). Could it be personality disorder, mood swing, dishonesty or friendzoning tactics on her part? Or is it me overreacting? Or there's something wrong with me in some way that turns her off?

Whatever be the case anyway, I already decided from December last year to FINALLY erase her. Take note of the word 'finally' because similar decisions were made once or twice before, only for her to return and it seemed good until shit happened again. There was a time she appeared to have taken such stance also and I broke it off and then we went back to point zero. Well, it's not as if I'm hating her or kicking her out of my life; I simply don't want any emotional/psychological torture caused by her attitude. Until she comes clean and straight before we can be good.

So last December was the last straw as earlier said. She never returned any of my calls; I chat her up and complained, only to get an unconvincing excuse. It appeared I was being too "pushy" and I concluded it has got to be the time to back off completely. I couldn't afford to start the new year with old, unimproving, discomforting and insincere friendships/relationships. Though I'd still be her friend but I'd drastically reduce the ties, maintain my composure much better and get involved with other things.

Now she's back. She jokingly asked why we weren't close as before and apologised if she did any wrong. This is the usual drill, so I smiled and made her realise I had moved on. We got chatty for a bit till she ignored me and I've not heard a word from her since then. This is pissing me off and I can't take it anymore which is why I'm humbly seeking your help.

Should I:
a) Talk to her and let her realise the hurting attitude? But wouldn't that make me look somehow?
b) Forget about her and if at anytime she beeps me, I should ignore her too? Or
c) ..... (please help me fill it)


Thank you...

Nma27:
Block and delete as it is hot... Don't give anyone d power to toil with ur emotions

0079jaBond:


I'll call this '007 action style' which I like and ur point is another reason why I like understanding differing views so that I won't rush anything.

But now, how do I go about it so I won't fall again? ''once beaten twice shy, and if I'm beaten a second time, then kuku kee me", you catch?

How to go about it so as not to fall again?

Use '007 action mode'

Once you tell her it's over, lock up.

Even when she begs, settle things but still lock up. Don't text or call her anymore.

If she texts or calls, answer her well. Don't ask her about personal stuffs anymore. As far as you are concerned, she's just a friend you say hi/hello to whenever she texts. If she doesn't text - good for you.

You need to ask yourself: Do i really want a friend that causes me heartache?

Masterclass32:
Guy, move on, for your sanity's sake. It WILL happen again. Some emotionally under-developed (not emotional immaturity. Emotional under-development tend to be with the person for life) folks seek for people to feed off of. You torture is their glory. When they come back to you, its not because of you. Its cos there's probably cos you come in handy at the time.

You can remain friends, if you want. But don't hurt yourself by putting your emotions on her.

NairalandCS:


Lool no be insult. Me sef never collect my mumu button from one girl like that but we no dey the same location so the the button no dey work.

gabi101:
OP i think you exposed your weak point to her by expressing you love for her,you should have kept her guessing with your actions...anyways my advice her is to ignore the girl completely(let her get a taste of her own coffee),make more female friends too and if you come across her, act like everything is cool(ordinary friend) and go your way

Inanna:
Screw her. For your own sanity. Just forget about her until she's figured out her issues.

ClayT:
Let her know the attitude is bullshit...let it lead to a fight if needed just to place your point, because this is the only way u could have peace of mind, let ur feelings out...then cut ties completely...ignore her subsequent calls nd all

ytkid:
next tym she seems nice to u do the following
1) smile wit her.
2) take her to ur place
3) practice all sorts of styles wit her ...nd fvck her brains out.
4) den leave her, but still be nice to her ooh.
next tym she starts missbehaving, just rememba wen u were riding her lyk a horse nd smile to ur self.....

tosyne2much:
What I see here is the tale of an indecisive girl. These are ladies that easily get swayed and follow anything on trousers because they do not really know what they want in a man. They develop interest in you today and tomorrow, they start acting like clowns without any quarrel.

Another thing I see here is that you're somewhat emotionally attached to this girl even though your ego will not make you admit it

Please, always try to act like a man and don't compromise your stand especially for someone that incessantly walks in and out of your life for no good reason. At this stage of your life, you should only welcome those who need you as part of their lives.

And please, don't give any lady the chance to toss you around or make you look inconsequential and then she comes back with apologies or sweet words

Lastly, you don't even need to tell her that you want to cut her off or block her on whatsapp. Just ignore her as long as you can and when she comes pleading again, reply her casually and never talk about how she hurts your feelings with her unstable character

I hope this helps bro

adepeter26:
Chairman, women affairs commission

tosyne2much:
Hope I try small sha?

Dandiaz72:

I understand how u feel, i've been there, i'm sure she is seeing another guy. email me for more pieces of advice

0079jaBond:


My guy, you can imagine. See as the thing pain me. And I usually don't accept anyone's rubbish when they play games with me.

The sad part is, she's a devoted Christian girl and she appears all nice to everyone but perhaps her smartness is shifting her moral brain. Like you said, I believe she'll bite her fingers someday

emilyone:

Abeg tell me how to take collect my mumu button from my boyfriend, he dey always collect 90% of my salary every month.

0079jaBond:


Trust me, I had a hard time before revealing my deep feelings to her. Guess how she felt when I eventually opened up? Surprised and full of smiles and she was short of words. I even had to encourage her not to be shy and all that stuff cos me sef was even shy somehow but I didn't make it known... Lol.

But in summary, I catch the wisdom in ur point. Thanks bro

NairalandCS:


90% of your salary ? Your mumu button no be here o.

tosyne2much:
What I see here is the tale of an indecisive girl. These are ladies that easily get swayed and follow anything on trousers because they do not really know what they want in a man. They develop interest in you today and tomorrow, they start acting like clowns without any quarrel.

Another thing I see here is that you're somewhat emotionally attached to this girl even though your ego will not make you admit it.

Please, always try to act like a man and don't compromise your stand especially for someone that incessantly walks in and out of your life for no good reason. At this stage of your life, you should only welcome those who need you as part of their lives.

And please, don't give any lady the chance to toss you around or make you look inconsequential and then she comes back with apologies or sweet words. (remember ladies will treat you the way they like when they know you're not a strong willed person)

Lastly, you don't even need to tell her that you want to cut her off or resort to blocking her on whatsapp. Just ignore her as long as you can and when she comes pleading as usually, kindly reply her casually and never talk about how she hurts your feelings with her unstable and questionable character. That's the best way to treat people like that.

You will only end up developing high blood pressure if you don't lessen your grasps your worry on this indecisive girl my brother

I hope this helps bro

engrelvis:
@op.stop deceiving yrsef.u r in luv with dis girl .is just dat yr ego n pride won't allow u admit it .u already know what u want to do.u r just looking for people who [b]back u up[b/].a girl is tossing u up n down n u asking what to do.isn't d answer obvious?