Poster. . .

How is that your business, tell your mom
You don't have to talk to him, that's dumb.

bawomolo:

lol can anyone really be this naive.

Brother man I swear I don't think I've ran into a more obtuse individual than that tool. The opinions reek of smelly shitt.

Does your mom NAG ?
If not then its better you make a plan B.

I would normally tell you to mind your own business, but in this case I would say tell your mom. The secret is obviously eating at you, and I think your mom would appreciate it, no offense, but your Dad is a POS! how can he abandoned his children, maybe something happend between him and your mom, but the kids did nothing.

Talk to your father and if he does not change, then talk to your mum (Plan B). You never can tell whether the other lady don give am toto water drink!

Pray

No matter how insensitive he may seem right now, the fact that he has abandoned his family for an affair has to be eating up his insides.

Talk to him. I mean REALLY talk to him. Guide him back to his senses.



Need books on relationships, self improvement, money making, family, freebies n lots of other crazy stuff?

www.greatbooks.350.com

dustydee:

Pray

Do this first and then talk to him then continue praying. all the best.

[b]@ POSTER

Mean no offense but may i ask you what you really think your father owes you in life?
These insinuations of yours above is evident why civilized kids are better off than their African contemporaries.
Truth be told, most African kids esp, naija kids always think that sticking your proboscis into the family treasury makes you a better person,
you may even have had your basic education, had a lot of things at your disposal to carve a niche of survival for yourself and you still stick with your family.

I think the African society really overrate family and its ties, let me remind you that you are a stranger from nowhere, you bear that End name simply by accident or more leniently put, virtue of circumstances of birth in other words you could ave been someone elses' daughter and so on.

I am not saying that your POP's irresponsibility aint appalling but the reality is simple, it is NOT your problem but your MOM's.
You could have been in qatar or anyother part of the world living an independent life, suppose that was the case, how could you have interfered?

So my dear, broaden your horizon of survival and stay away from family crap,

An uncle of mine used to tell his kids that he is not investing in them, that he is giving them the basic things of life out of his own magnanimity,in other words, if he doesnt, you cant take him to court.
he will make them understand that he had a career which accrues pension,also landed properties that accrues rent so he will never depend on them till death,

He doesn't give you the next years school fees if the previous report doesn't impress him and when he sticks  to his gun,it will be easier for two bulls to pull down the statue of liberty than get his parish priest to sway him.

Today those kids are seriously made, they took risks, most of them traveled out, two of them you may know cos their investments are popular in Naija.

then, people where thinking their popsy was the meanest man in my community, but those guys sang a song of success simply because the bell of independence started from home.

Its no longer news these days for parents to take an 18yr old man to JAMB exam hall, sit beside him with cooller full of drinks and food, pay a mercenery that will help him pass, When someone like my late Uncle will give his 10yr old son transport fee and a road map and send him from Enugu to Lagos to write Entrance Exam.

Truth be told, you are not perturbed because you care, you are simply because your proboscis aint sucking nothing which i term selfish interest, i may sympathize with you if you are a minor and some basis of independence is off your limit then, you may say the family resources is lean but i just have one Advise for you,

Always see your house as a transit camp, dream, look inwards, discover your talent, use little or no family support to stand on your own, and give your family a break.

How old was lil bow wow when he could afford a house of his own, same goes for, chris brown, fabulous,Rhianna, wayne rooney,Anderson the count is endless and even some Naija guys too.
[/b]
Rem. if you were independent, you wont have any reservations telling your MUM but oh!!! i forgot, you wont get your school fees next semester

the painful aspect is not taking care of the children,but as for having an affair outside abeg leave the man "no time"jst pray for him,make him feel loved,make the home comfortable then leave the rest for nature or GOD to take control good luck.

You will be fooling yourself to think that you can talk to him and he will change his mind. When has it come to the era in which children tell their dad how to run or ruin their lives. Do you think he does not know what he is doing or that he just develop the habit just last night? This is the game he might have been playing even before you were born.
My piece of cake; stay clear of his affairs, demand for your basic needs and ensure your siblings get what accrue to them. Tell your mum and let her face the reality. Take a stand especially with your mum cos he will not change and if love eat deep into him, you and your mother will bare the pain. Tell your mum to start becoming wise with her finance stop being extravagant with household stuff.
From personal experience, he will not turn back to his family until the girl suck him dry, The earlier you people wake up to the reality, the better and well protected you will be.

Sorry, for that scandalous behaviour of your dad, to prevent things from getting out of hand pray, identify the root cause of his and together you guys can get things done appropriately. This is too much for a child to handle

I really hate it when people elect to wash their dirty linens in public! Aha for goodness sake what on earth are you hoping to gain by bringing what is obviously a private affair into the public domain? At the end of the day NL people will wipe the floor with your dad, is the counsel they are going to give really worth the public disgrace you are going to be getting as well? How many of the people you are soliciting advice from are posting their own private malaise on NL?
I'm sure there are more experienced people in your family you can relate to without bringing shame on your dad and ultimately a curse on yourself! At the end of the day he is still your dad, none of the people on here are your friends or loved ones

@Poster, your mum knows. Wives always know.
Your job is to try to bring your parents back together. You will of course need the help of your siblings to hatch the plan.

This is serious.

Too bad

every body just told you the right dont ever try any thing just let him be amd some day he is coming back to this sences but you tell him any thing he might tell your mum to live the house and you too

If you believe in God. Then Get down on ur knees for the next 21 days by 12 midnight and pray this prayer point.

1. "Every power orchestrated from the pit of hell that is trying to destroy your father , Break lose and die in Jesus name.

2. "God provide a husband that is suitable for the girl so that she can leave your father alone in Jesus name.



the power is in your hands. harness it.

Kenny_G:

I really hate it when people elect to wash their dirty linens in public! Aha for goodness sake what on earth are you hoping to gain by bringing what is obviously a private affair into the public domain? At the end of the day NL people will wipe the floor with your dad, is the counsel they are going to give really worth the public disgrace you are going to be getting as well? How many of the people you are soliciting advice from are posting their own private malaise on NL?
I'm sure there are more experienced people in your family you can relate to without bringing shame on your dad and ultimately a curse on yourself! At the end of the day he is still your dad, none of the people on here are your friends or loved ones

You see how slow you are? Do you know her? Does anybody here know her?

My dad once called his girlfriend in my room. . .he tot i was sleeping. . . I wasnt. . .

Didnt tell ma mum or anyone. . .cos i knw my dad wont marry again. . .he's got a football team(children) to deal with already! . . , Not my business . . . . So poster. . . .Keep ya mouth shut! lol

Sister listen to my advise, go to the local government and do change of Father ship now hurry up before the close,

latepa:

Sister listen to my advise, go to the local government and do change of Father ship now hurry up before the close,

Lol

do you know this for a fact?

otherwise i wud expect more concern for his safety cos it seems you guys are missing his salary more than u re missing the man.

assuming u are right, the only thing u need to do is have a talk with ur mum about her becoming financially independent. if she does not currently have a source of income, it's time to step u and make her own money to take care of u guys.

as for ur dad,
u have no reason to disrespect him, his love for u hasnt changed. and u have no idea what the root of the problem is.

for all u know, he might just be buckling under the pressure of responsibility and expectations.

and be grateful to have learned the second most important thing every woman shud know:
never be financially dependent on a man !(besides ur father of course)
the first being, never lie down with a fool

Kini Big Deal?

from what i ve read from ds posts i can see alot of pple have not been thru ds experience or pretend it does nt affect them, u need to be throught it to relate wt what she is saying. its nt abt him taking care or nt taking care of them, or her mum knowing abt it or nt, she is just tryin to put her feelings into words, for me, it comes down to d reality and the hurt that the man u ve always seen as a role model, held in high esteem and always proud to relate wt as ur father is not more than, (will hate to use any word cos it hurt jst thinking about it). i lived in denial of the fact wen i knew about mine, refused discussing it wt my siblings (eventhough i hrd it from them wen they were discussing it unknown to them) and over tym i grew up and watched tins unfold and it ws reality dt its for real and not lies, i prayed, we prayed and we re still praying but its still there. u want to hate, u hate and u stop hating, its still dr, u talk abt it, still talk abt it, and hate to talk abt it but its still dr, u confront the lady(s), u hate doing it, but its still there, u talk to ur dad, u stop talking abt it to him, its still there, u knw what i look forward to nw? me getting over it even wen it stops cos i dn't even knw if i can stop living thru it and stop seeing him the way i c him nw, i always wish i never knew or it never happened. i jst live my life knw and pray for the very best in the family.
jst look up to God has ur anchor, forget abt trying to put things ryt by dealing wt him, it myt nt wrk, i ve stopped crying abt mine but he still gives money for upkeep, cos we told mumsie, no money no food or anytin, so he drops d money and we do our duties, and prayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

@poster!! don't call ur mum attention yet that if she is not aware yet, cause women have a strong instinct when a man start to misbehave, call ur dad to attention and let him know what he is doing is not right considering that ur mum she is still alive and well and u as the children are seeing wat he is doing, he should rethink and come back home to u all and promise him nobody will ever hear of it and if he is still not bent in listening to u, he must have a friend that he confides in, go to him and let him know or his family,

Quote from kissmylips (f)

My Dad Is Having An Affair:Do I Talk To Him Politely?
« on: February 05, 2010, 02:22 PM » 

HI,
my dad is havin an affair outside n d chic is really eatin him,dat he doesnt care about us again.

am realy connfused,do i talk to him politely or quarel hm.

he was paid he's salary yes ter day,he left home n he is yet to come bck home.

i am nt angry dat he is cheating on my mum oh,bt d fact dat he doesnt care about his children,dats realy bad
*********************************************************************************
MARTINOSI SAYS -
OH Girl u need to stop all these "FairY-Tale Stories
as you seem to be on some sort on Sexual/Romantic
obession bend as you spend most of youR time
in nairaland in the Romantic/Sex forums,

See you Ashawo Post Below!!!

**********************************************

kissmylips (f)
NIGERIA
Posts: 106


Romance  |  Dating And Meet-up Zone section

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=274132.msg3890961#msg3890961  I Need A Guy In Ghana/nigeria 4 A Relationship.
« on: May 19, 2009, 05:38 PM » 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Am 20yrs old,tall,dark in complextion.
pls i need a guy 4 a serious relationship either in nigera or in ghana cos i will soon b leaving 4 ghana 2 study.
   
   I Need a guy b/twn d ages of late 20s n early 30s,A graduate workin or not,Christian, ,God fearing, Handsome n preserved.Not married pls.

These ar my contact details,  08063547513,ozsweetluv_2k4@yahoo.co.uk

my yahoo messengers id-prettybrenda4luv@yahoo.com.

thanks.

Having an affair ? How did you know, you must been following your dad's move. that shows there are already elements of distrusts you may have gotten from withing your family probably from your mum.

Anyhow, an african man is polygamous in nature. The fact he has a gf is even better, it shows he has some values too. That is not sleeping around anyhow. Again the fact that you say he no longer cares means he had been caring before this itime. What have your family done to show him love and let him know you care and apprciate. There is nothing, repeat nothing you can do to stop him. Do not even bother tell him. Become your dad's gf too in another way. engage him with love and let him start seeing you and your mum. Am not asking you to sleep with him o. Make him feel needed and desired in the house. You know i have a gf too and am married. Do you know why ? reason is, I make sure everything about my kids are updated, school fee, excellent school, clothes etc, to my own level. You know what, my wife seem not to understand I have my life to live. She doesn't do those things. that make me proud. looking at how i love my family. it gives me the feeling am needed because of what is needed from me. So I started having a lil affair. I buy a small wrist watch for my gf,,, she is all over me. This is not about Bleep or anything. try to understand. Reach to your dad, Tell your mum too to readjust subito,

dupsygal:

YEAR RIGHT, U Know diz girl is lying lol!!!
Nigerian Men dont have Affairs, they just Crush Alot lol!!!
And i need not explain "Crush" but if u dont know that
means "Kane Alot" (I take it u understand 9ja Campus Slangs)

And May i Add this,
a thought just came to my mind
when do girls in Nigeria confront their fathers
about their sexual habits!!! lol!!!
DIZ GIRL U NO GET LEVER O!!! LOL

SUCH LIES!!!!

o.K Supposing u confront your father Politely
and u ask him about his "Sex Life" with another
woman, i wonder what his real response will be?

U have to consider that he is Paying your School Fee's
feeding you, clothing you and providing a roof over your head!!!
ROFLMAO!!!! and you have to consider that this is Nigeria/Africa
we are talking about lol! not USA OR UK where Children even
Talk back and insult their Parents in the evening and
apologise in the morning and the parent forgive them

OH GIRL U NO GET LEVER TO APPROACH UR PAPA!!!

Stop all this ur foolish Ajebota fantasies and Wake up
from your dream world!!!

martinosi:



OH GIRL U NO GET LEVER TO APPROACH your PAPA!!!

Stop all this your foolish Ajebota fantasies and Wake up
from your dream world!!!

i am sorry to burst ur bubbles martinosi, serious, its not my thread, neither am i the poster and i will hate to make ds a personal issue, but i will like to correct u on ds ground, i talk to my father and we have discussed ds particular issue as stated by the topic of this thread and he still feeds us and pay my school fees. its about knowing ur ryt and being wise hw u present ur grievances and i am no ajebo, jst a regular gal from an average home.