Valerie had no hope of furthering her education until an illiterate Okada rider offered to help her with the intention of marrying her.

My name is Valerie, a 26-year-old lady working with an oil firm in Lagos. I know many people will castigate and condemn me after reading my story but I beg you not to judge me.
Just put yourselves in my shoes and tell me what you would do if you are confronted with this dilemma. I know the decision I have taken will not sit well with some people but then, I have my life to live.

I have been in a relationship with Basil for over 10 years now but I have now outgrown him and want to call it quits but I don't know the best way to go about it without looking like an ingrate and a gold digger.

I was just about 16 and in Senior Secondary School 2 [SSS II], when I lost my parents in an accident. After their sudden death, there was no one to sponsor me in school and I had to drop out and had to go and live with my grandmother in the village.

Things were becoming so difficult for me when Basil came to the village for Christmas. One of my aunts introduced him to me and he asked for my hand in marriage with the promise to send me back to school.

He told me he was a commercial motorcyclist in Lagos and that he would do all he could to assist me. True to his words, Basil registered me in a secondary school where I sat for my school certificate examinations and when I got admission into the university, he also agreed to sponsor me.

He did all these with the hope of getting married to me in future which I accepted. While in school, I was always telling him to try and upgrade himself but he kept promising to do so without making any effort.

Even when I came to visit him in Lagos, I was shocked at the place he stayed but I tried my best to hide my dismay.

To cut the long story short, I am now a graduate with a good job and I think I have outgrown him. He is illiterate and I cannot see myself getting married to him.

I met this guy who is a lawyer and he has proposed marriage to me and after telling him about Basil, he said he would pay off anything he spent on me.

But my problem is how to tell Basil that I am not ready to marry an illiterate. How would people in our village look at me? My happiness is that he did not pay anything on my head which would make him lay a claim on me.

http://www.pulse.ng/gist/i-have-outgrown-my-boyfriend-i-want-to-move-on-id7142794.html

I believe in communication and a guy who loves you will likely do anything for you...
I would advice you talk to him again,the world has gone digital and you'll never see a graduate getting married to an illiterate man except he has money.
He can do a part time program in school, make him understand you what the best for him,you have seen how beautiful the world is now that you are upgraded and it will be wicked of you not to drag him along.......

Talk to him,you're happy that he helped you, and now you want to help him too.if it means going out to get a school form for him, then do it, take the first step since it seems to be difficult for him...
Give it your best and if he doesn't yield to it (I can't say)

For that your barrister, doesn't he knows money can not be a compensation to kindness and a good heart.

Good for u

And how is that any of our concern

Stupid idiot

This one is difficult o!

Daniel304:
Stupid idiot

S

sinaj:
This one is difficult o!

I tell you...
I don't even know what to say

A tough one really. But then, what does your boyfriend expect? To come to him when you're through and be his wife? Two people in a relationship are meant to help each other grow. Any relationship where one has to remain stagnant just for the other to proceed hardly ends well especially when it is the man that makes the sacrifice.

Above all, reneging on promises is bad. It is not the money he spent that matters but the promise you made each other.
Leaving him and paying him off (I'm sure he won't accept the money) would be a painful one to the man.

Lesson: Never put someone else ambition ahead of yours especially when you're not even sure of the relationship.

sinaj:
This one is difficult o!

it's a fake story

dingbang:
it's a fake story

it might be true o! It's poss.

[

your case is different.

thank Basil for all his hard work and dedication, settle him for all he has done to better your life and go on your merry way.... failure to settle him may result in your untimely death, BEWARE!

Why not use your salary and open a business for him? Since he made sure you became somebody in life, why not repay him back by making himx � the kind of person you will like him to be? But the story get k leg sha.

sinaj:
This one is difficult o!

actually it is not that hard, the lady is just a clever story teller
If the story is true, there is a lot of illogical gaps in that story
1)she claims a guy took her in, sponsored her, did every thing possible for her but refuses to improve himself, he refuses to stop riding okada
How is that possible? Doesn't the guy have a functioning brain? Does the guy hope to be riding okada while his wife will be working in oil company?
2) she deliberately avoided in her story to give us any excuse that the guy came upwith, when she confronted him to improve himself
If there is no excuse, why not just inform the guy she will move on if he refuse to improve himself (as threat)

In conclusion, the lady is only looking for all the excuse to marry that lawyer, she has made up her mind but she doesn't have the right excuses to justify her decision.
Thus, all she needed from the public is enough excuse and pity to justify her decision . There are two sides to a story and this side of the story is deliberately hiding information the other side (basil side) of the story will reveal

Women are wicked ooo
Chai and d basil would have been doing these with love
Ok since she has a job in an oil company, y cant she help him go further, so as to reach her standard
D basil sef
D money he spent on this ungrateful biitch could have done same to him
Mayb now he would have become somebody very important
Buh instead he spent it on someone who wont even stick to him
See
excuse
He's nt up to ur standard, he gave u that standard with his sweat nd blood
Ungrateful creatures
If he had left u to nature, u might have been a prostitute or something by now


D kind vex weh i deh vex now ehn

Kennybix:


Lesson: Never put someone else ambition ahead of yours especially when you're not even sure of the relationship.

Noted!! What u said is a complete truth......

sunshineG:

1)she claims a guy took her in, sponsored her, did every thing possible for her but refuses to improve himself, he refuses to stop riding okada
How is that possible? Doesn't the guy have a functioning brain? Does the guy hope to be riding okada while his wife will be working in oil company?

so you want this man to stop riding okada so that he can venture in what he has NO clue about?! there is NOTHING wrong with being an okada driver, nor there is anything wrong with this lady marrying him, if there was TRUE love in her heart. sadly, this woman is just an ungrateful deceitful being who now looks down on the same man that she was happy to look up to when she was down (but dont have the moral sense to return the favor).

2) she deliberately avoided in her story to give us any excuse that the guy came upwith, when she confronted him to improve himself
If there is no excuse, why not just inform the guy she will move on if he refuse to improve himself (as threat)

NO man should change who they are (or what they believe in) because of some deluded woman. if that man was GOOD enough when this deluded woman was down, then why is he suddenly "unfit" when she has finally gotten what she desired from him?! haba!

In conclusion, the lady is only looking for all the excuse to marry that lawyer, she has made her mind but she doesn't have the right excuses to justify her decision.

that is a further proof that changing/upgrading etc wouldnt have changed anything in her ungrateful bid to drop that man.

MrBrownJay1:


so you want this man to stop riding okada so that he can venture in what he has NO clue about?! there is NOTHING wrong with being an okada driver, nor there is anything wrong with this lady marrying him, if there was TRUE love in her heart. sadly, this woman is just an ungrateful deceitful being who now looks down on the same man that she was happy to look up to when she was down (but dont have the moral sense to return the favor).



NO man should change who they are (or what they believe in) because of some deluded woman. if that man was GOOD enough when this deluded woman was down, then why is he suddenly "unfit" when she has finally gotten what she desired from him?! haba!



that is a further proof that changing/upgrading etc wouldnt have changed anything in her ungrateful bid to drop that man.

you are right bro the woman is just ungrateful
I wonder who she is trying to deceive with her well crafted story

sunshineG:
you are right bro the woman is just ungrateful
I wonder who she is trying to deceive with her well crafted story

its only THEMSELVES that they are deceiving...

Rubbish

Emzyme:
Women are wicked ooo
Chai and d basil would have been doing these with love
Ok since she has a job in an oil company, y cant she help him go further, so as to reach her standard
D basil sef
D money he spent on this ungrateful biitch could have done same to him
Mayb now he would have become somebody very important
Buh instead he spent it on someone who wont even stick to him
See
excuse
He's nt up to ur standard, he gave u that standard with his sweat nd blood
Ungrateful creatures
If he had left u to nature, u might have been a prostitute or something by now


D kind vex weh i deh vex now ehn

Hey calm down bro... This is a simple stuffs... The Guy sacrifice alot just to help her become who she is now..only to be telling us here she has outgrown this poor dude that in the next life she will live she can't get such dude again.. To me this is more than sacrifies...waht pain me the most is this dude ain't living rich just because of her..this Girl I don't know what to call herself!!! But wait a minute it means she nomore don't like this poor dude, shes has outgrown him, his not her standard now and lastly she has gotten one fraudulent lawyer and he has proposed to her, probably she have already accepted and doing all sorta things with him while that poor dude is out there hussling to live life...Kai this is confusing me....did this Girl need our Lord jesus Christ to come down from heaven and tell her waht to do or she want peter and paul to tell her or closely here T.B joshua to tell her the needful.... I wish I can see this Girl physical, If I no flog u call me beans...

Wizklynd23:
Hey calm down bro... This is a simple stuffs... The Guy sacrifice alot just to help her become who she is now..only to be telling us here she has outgrown this poor dude that in the next life she will live she can't get such dude again.. To me this is more than sacrifies...waht pain me the most is this dude ain't living rich just because of her..this Girl I don't know what to call herself!!! But wait a minute it means she nomore don't like this poor dude, shes has outgrown him, his not her standard now and lastly she has gotten one fraudulent lawyer and he has proposed to her, probably she have already accepted and doing all sorta things with him while that poor dude is out there hussling to live life...Kai this is confusing me....did this Girl need our Lord jesus Christ to come down from heaven and tell her waht to do or she want peter and paul to tell her or closely here T.B joshua to tell her the needful.... I wish I can see this Girl physical, If I no flog u call me beans...

U tell me make i calm down
Ur own come worse pass my own

OP I swear u no get common sense!! Waht are u telling us here pls!! Okk okk okk, that u don't like this dude and u have outgrown him, Mtcheeewww.... Pls did OP need our Lord Jesus Christ to come down from Heaven and tell her waht to do or she want peter and paul to come and tell her or she want prophet Daniel to come and tell her waht will happen to her in future if she did not do the needful.... I swear OP your lucky this is a e-discussion but if to say nah physical, habba walahi,,, since I for don floggged the hell out of you.....

The barrister dude is an idiot to say i will pay him off. Oga Basil wasted 10 freaking, hard years working his fvcking ass of for this babe instead of training a relation of his and you wanna pay him off like some sort of expired pizza. Come on dude go borrow some sense from your elders if you can't afford any.

Emzyme:


U tell me make i calm down
Ur own come worse pass my own

Brother I don't know when I begin to type all this, I thought the issue was as simple as that untill when I start typing i realised that the thread begins to vext me too.... Imagine all this sacrifies only 4 her to be telling us here she has outgrown him... I wish that poor dude is a faithful christian, so that when she walk up to him with this dirty talk he will understand where she's heading..I just pray he will understand that this sacrifies he did is a child of our lord jesus christ sacrifies to us.......hope u nderstand waht am tryna portray here cos wahtever u tell this girl now,she no go listen cos to me she has already made up her mind to go along with that fraudulent cunning lawyer and dumping that poor dude!!!!! Abeg where the Girl they self, how I wish there is electronic flogging walahi....I for don flog that hell out of her

Wizklynd23:
Brother I don't know when I begin to type all this, I thought the issue was as simple as that untill when I start typing i realised that the thread begins to vext me too.... Imagine all this sacrifies only 4 her to be telling us here she has outgrown him... I wish that poor dude is a faithful christian, so that when she walk up to him with this dirty talk he will understand where she's heading..I just pray he will understand that this sacrifies he did is a child of our lord jesus christ sacrifies to us.......hope u nderstand waht am tryna portray here cos wahtever u tell this girl now,she no go listen cos to me she has already made up her mind to go along with that fraudulent cunning lawyer and dumping that poor dude!!!!! Abeg where the Girl they self, how I wish there is electronic flogging walahi....I for don flog that hell out of her

Na dis kind pple dem suppose use do ritual sef

All gals are like this though

moorevic:
The barrister dude is an idiot to say i will pay him off. Oga Basil wasted 10 freaking, hard years working his fvcking ass of for this babe instead of training a relation of his and you wanna pay him off like some sort of expired pizza. Come on dude go borrow some sense from your elders if you can't afford any.

pls help me tell her!!! Ma no1 problem now is to flog this Girl kawai.........

Emzyme:


Na dis kind pple dem suppose use do ritual sef

All gals are like this though

We shouldn't generalize pls!!! But this Girl her case is completely different

The guy needs to be flogged by men... see F*ukup!