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How Are You Able To Cope With This - Romance - Nairaland

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How Are You Able To Cope With This by fumisko(f): 10:54pm On Aug 27, 2017
This is a serious issue to me.
I just want to understand how it's done. Please help me comprehend. For me I find it illogical to be in a relationship where the man would contact you after every two or three days. Some even one week. And maybe it's via watsapp message only not necessarily a call and would feel it's normal.
Some guys say it's not how often but how quality the once in three days contact was.
For me I feel I can't handle it as the lady. Where would be the bond, the intimacy we should share as close friends that share each of their day together, who would I contact about any sweet gist daily? I wouldn't get emotionally fulfilled and satisfied. I feel true love should make you miss your partner more often.
So my question is
1. The guys that contact after every two or three days or one week...are you really into your partner Like really in love or you just managing her till someone better comes along or is it just a natural thing??

2. Ladies with such male partners, how do u handle it? Do u feel emotionally fulfilled and do u find it as normal
Please help

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Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by Learnstuffs: 11:01pm On Aug 27, 2017
I think anyone who loves you will need to hear your voice every day. Finally people are different

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by Nobody: 11:06pm On Aug 27, 2017
I won't condone a guy who calls everyday 'cause too much of anything is bad. I would actually perceive him to be jobless 'cause we all need our space so he shouldn't act like his life revolve around the relationship. However, I don't expect him calling in weeks 'cause communication is vital in the relationship.

Perhaps, twice or thrice a week is cool.

2 Likes

Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by midehill(m): 11:08pm On Aug 27, 2017
kimbraa:
I won't condone a guy who calls everyday 'cause too much of anything is bad. I would actually perceive him to be jobless 'cause we all need our space so he shouldn't act like his life revolve around the relationship. However, I don't expect him calling in weeks 'cause communication is vital in the relationship.

Perhaps, twice or thrice a week is cool.


u r so confused

19 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by iamJ(m): 11:09pm On Aug 27, 2017
kimbraa:
I won't condone a guy who calls everyday 'cause too much of anything is bad. I would actually perceive him to be jobless 'cause we all need our space so he shouldn't act like his life revolve around the relationship. However, I don't expect him calling in weeks 'cause communication is vital in the relationship.

Perhaps, twice or thrice a week is cool.
so som1 calls you shocked shocked shocked poor guy

8 Likes

Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by ikp120(m): 11:11pm On Aug 27, 2017
WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger are what I use most.

I call once in a blue moon but chat almost every 10 minutes depending how busy I am. VN is bae mehn, you can ask Makydebbie, though she no dey talk to me again these days. sad sad sad cry cry

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by ibkayee(f): 11:16pm On Aug 27, 2017
Can't imagine my partner not communicating with me everyday, texting would be daily, I'm not really a call person so 3-5 days a week would suffice.

One week ke, that's not your boyfriend lol
Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by Nobody: 11:21pm On Aug 27, 2017
midehill:



u r so confused
If that's your definition of a confused person then, yes.
Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by FemiEddy(m): 11:26pm On Aug 27, 2017
I chat most times and call once a while, my babe knows me and loves me, we are different, mind you I ain't poor to buy credits cos I even sub d more, just dat people's nature are different , when you know ur partner well and you guys are for real, dis issue can't even be a problem
Opinion tho
Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by midehill(m): 11:44pm On Aug 27, 2017
kimbraa:
If that's your definition of a confused person then, yes.


I have never seen someone in diz world DAT will say he doesn't one his partner to care 4 him every time...itz ur own I see for d first time
Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by Nobody: 11:52pm On Aug 27, 2017
midehill:



I have never seen someone in diz world DAT will say he doesn't one his partner to care 4 him every time...itz ur own I see for d first time
Don't confuse caring for one's partner with calling on a daily basis. That isn't caring but making yourself too available which is wrong.

When you call in that manner the euphoria dies off quickly. Space makes your spouse miss and desire you and if you don't make it happen by rationalising the calls then everything in the relationship will be monotonous which kills surprises.

I am not lecturing some teenagers who just fell in love, right?. I stick with once or twice a week and perhaps thrice but not everyday. It's all shade of inviting boredom into your affair.

1 Like

Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by imustsaymymindo: 11:52pm On Aug 27, 2017
Communication is key @op. I wonder how people cope with it too. If you complain about the lack of communication, you appear needy, if you choose not to communicate too, they start chasing you then stop again once you initiate constant communication. I don tire for relationship and its wahala.

1 Like

Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by imustsaymymindo: 12:00am On Aug 28, 2017
kimbraa:
Don't confuse caring for one's partner with calling on a daily basis. That isn't caring but making yourself too available which is wrong.

When you call in that manner the euphoria dies off quickly. Space makes your spouse miss and desire you and if you don't make it happen by rationalising the calls then everything in the relationship will be monotonous which kills surprises.

I am not lecturing some teenagers who just fell in love, right?. I stick with once or twice a week and perhaps thrice but not everyday. It's all shade of inviting boredom into your affair.


Are you in a relationship with God? If yes, how many times do you pray i.e communicate to him? How often do you wish he is available to you? Even God understands the value of daily communication in a relationship.
Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by dimexy247(m): 12:03am On Aug 28, 2017
Some ladies are confused, what if you call everyday and she complain it's too much and take you for granted. Women sha, you can never please them. Anyways, the law "treat them well, they give you hell and give them hell, they treat you well has never failed me.

1 Like

Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by Nobody: 12:06am On Aug 28, 2017
imustsaymymindo:


Are you in a relationship with God? If yes, how many times do you pray i.e communicate to him? How often do you wish he is available to you? Even God understands the value of daily communication.
Nice logic but man isn't God so quit the comparison. grin

You're in a relationship and not a full time job. Like I said earlier, calling everyday would make your activities monotonous 'cause you'll end up having same discussion in a clime where to see people who're vast in having interesting conversation is rare.

1 Like

Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by imustsaymymindo: 12:21am On Aug 28, 2017
kimbraa:
Nice logic but man isn't God so quit the comparison. grin

You're in a relationship and not a full time job. Like I said earlier, calling everyday would make your activities monotonous 'cause you'll end up having same discussion in a clime where to see people who're vast in having interesting conversation is rare.


grin Back to my comparison. Same way when you communicate with God at times and you feel he is not answering or it's monotonous while sometimes it can be very fulfilling.

smiley Quitting the comparison. The essence of communication is not to have interesting conversations at all times. Sometimes you just need someone to listen and imagine that is the day you are unavailable? Communication aren't conversations either. Your partner isn't neccessarily meant to be the best conversationists. You want to tell me your partner can converse better than the ones you would get in the salon? Communication is about bonding. Even if it is 30 seconds everyday, it is better than 10 hours once a week.

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Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by EmyLeo(m): 12:31am On Aug 28, 2017
why should I be calling you everyday biko

#you will get tired of the call eventually, so sure of that..
Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by imustsaymymindo: 12:45am On Aug 28, 2017
dimexy247:
Some ladies are confused, what if you call everyday and she complain it's too much and take you for granted. Women sha, you can never please them. Anyways, the law "treat them well, they give you hell and give them hell, they treat you well has never failed me.

Lol. That law na confirmed law o. But I no go advise you to take that law to heart.

If you care for her genuinely and she takes you for granted, just move on and get another girl.

If on the other hand, you give hell to the same girl and she starts loving you for that, then you have changed who you are and that is the foundation of an unhealthy relationship.

Just be yourself, bro. If treating them well is your thing, just stick to it. You would get a girl to love you for who you are. It might take time though and you might get hurt severally, but the longest path is always the best path. smiley

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Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by Sarang(f): 12:46am On Aug 28, 2017
fumisko:
This is a serious issue to me.
I just want to understand how it's done. Please help me comprehend.
Please help


Lots of people do it. But you are not alone in your thoughts.
Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by Lewaluv(f): 1:16am On Aug 28, 2017
Lol...but what do you do with your mystery space if you get married. If you are scared that he will get tired of you now lol it will be a failure when you are married.
kimbraa:
Don't confuse caring for one's partner with calling on a daily basis. That isn't caring but making yourself too available which is wrong.

When you call in that manner the euphoria dies off quickly. Space makes your spouse miss and desire you and if you don't make it happen by rationalising the calls then everything in the relationship will be monotonous which kills surprises.

I am not lecturing some teenagers who just fell in love, right?. I stick with once or twice a week and perhaps thrice but not everyday. It's all shade of inviting boredom into your affair.

4 Likes

Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by imustsaymymindo: 1:23am On Aug 28, 2017
Lewaluv:
Lol...but what do you do with your mystery space if you get married. If you are scared that he will get tired of you now lol it will be a failure when you are married.

Correct girl! One bottle of orijin for you. You are right, it's FEAR. The opposite of love to me is fear. A fearful person can't love.
Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by Walexsammy(m): 1:25am On Aug 28, 2017
fumisko:
This is a serious issue to me.
I just want to understand how it's done. Please help me comprehend. For me I find it illogical to be in a relationship where the man would contact you after every two or three days. Some even one week. And maybe it's via watsapp message only not necessarily a call and would feel it's normal.
Some guys say it's not how often but how quality the once in three days contact was.
For me I feel I can't handle it as the lady. Where would be the bond, the intimacy we should share as close friends that share each of their day together, who would I contact about any sweet gist daily? I wouldn't get emotionally fulfilled and satisfied. I feel true love should make you miss your partner more often.
So my question is
1. The guys that contact after every two or three days or one week...are you really into your partner Like really in love or you just managing her till someone better comes along or is it just a natural thing??

2. Ladies with such male partners, how do u handle it? Do u feel emotionally fulfilled and do u find it as normal
Please help
personally, if we dating and I don't on daily basis, just know I am not yet ready for 'us'..... because I call my lady like twice aday... maybe once when I'm really busy... but then, you can also call it should be both ways and not just for the man alone.....

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Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by Lewaluv(f): 1:30am On Aug 28, 2017
Ummm so why date? Go fix your problem with whats wrong with you. Oh and i dont want orijin. Gimme Henessey.
imustsaymymindo:


Correct girl! One bottle of orijin for you. You are right, it's FEAR. The opposite of love to me is fear. A fearful person can't love.
Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by imustsaymymindo: 1:35am On Aug 28, 2017
Lewaluv:
Ummm so why date? Go fix your problem with whats wrong with you. Oh and i dont want orijin. Gimme Henessey.

You got me wrong. I did not say I fear to love. Just talking on a general term. Get it?

Henessey won't give you the neccessary herbal content.
Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by TheRealestGuy(m): 6:49am On Aug 28, 2017
It shouldn't be like a rule but if you're both truly into each other, you'll want to hear your partner's voice everyday, at least we have voicenote now.
Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by dimexy247(m): 7:34am On Aug 28, 2017
May God bless you abundantly for this piece bro. I am exactly in this kind of situation, (at bolded in your post) I always treat them well and they never fail to give me hell. Your post just awoken something in me, thanks.

imustsaymymindo:


Lol. That law na confirmed law o. But I no go advise you to take that law to heart.

If you care for her genuinely and she takes you for granted, just move on and get another girl.

If on the other hand, you give hell to the same girl and she starts loving you for that, then you have changed who you are and that is the foundation of an unhealthy relationship.

Just be yourself, bro. If treating them well is your thing, just stick to it. You would get a girl to love you for who you are. It might take time though and you might get hurt severally, but the longest path is always the best path. smiley

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by Nobody: 8:28am On Aug 28, 2017
Lewaluv:
Lol...but what do you do with your mystery space if you get married. If you are scared that he will get tired of you now lol it will be a failure when you are married.
Are you quoting me cause you felt like or that you know what my insecurities are?.

Have you ever taken time to study stuffs on the human psychic and how it works?. You should read 'Why Men Love Bìtches' by Sherry Argov. Then come back and tell me of being scared that he'd get tired of me.

There's something called coming off as needy in a relationship and it's a turnoff. Don't seat there and be looking for who'll call you 24/7, don't you have another life aside the relationship to focus on?.
Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by fumisko(f): 9:09am On Aug 28, 2017
@kimbraa
So this is the First Lady I am hearing say this.
But do u truly feel emotionally fulfilled from this type of a relationship?
Forget about acting up and all for him so he can chase u @why men marry bitches o....to me that's acting up...I have read the book.

If u guys chat once weekly what then Differentiates him from a normal friend?
Another question is are u sure he truly loves u with such an attitude
Nothing is worse than being in a relationship with someone who doesn't love u or think about u oooo...and show it with actions....
I may just end up cheating emotionally with another guy in such case if I try managing it.

1 Like

Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by Romerocollins: 9:27am On Aug 28, 2017
fumisko:
This is a serious issue to me.
I just want to understand how it's done. Please help me comprehend. For me I find it illogical to be in a relationship where the man would contact you after every two or three days. Some even one week. And maybe it's via watsapp message only not necessarily a call and would feel it's normal.
Some guys say it's not how often but how quality the once in three days contact was.
For me I feel I can't handle it as the lady. Where would be the bond, the intimacy we should share as close friends that share each of their day together, who would I contact about any sweet gist daily? I wouldn't get emotionally fulfilled and satisfied. I feel true love should make you miss your partner more often.
So my question is
1. The guys that contact after every two or three days or one week...are you really into your partner Like really in love or you just managing her till someone better comes along or is it just a natural thing??

2. Ladies with such male partners, how do u handle it? Do u feel emotionally fulfilled and do u find it as normal
Please help

Naija girls mentality,
Once a guy says he love you, it's now his obligation to do all calling and whatsaping,
If your man did not do the call, why cant you, considering his job might be too demanding.
Girls think!!!!
Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by Nobody: 9:36am On Aug 28, 2017
Its not bad if he calls you once every 3 days but once a week, forget the relationship, he is calling another lady.

The funniest thing is that when you start calling them or complain about their lackadaisical calling attitude, they will think you are disturbing them and it will lead to unnecessary quarrel, when you decide to free their matter and not bother to call, they will start accusing you of cheating.

Like seriously, relationship is not easy.
Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by fumisko(f): 9:57am On Aug 28, 2017
Rorachy:
Its not bad if he calls you ones every 3 days but once a week, forget the relationship, he is calling another lady.

The funniest thing is that when you start calling them or complain about their lackadaisical calling attitude, they will think you are disturbing them and it will lead to unnecessary quarrel, when you decide to free their matter and not bother to call, they will start accusing you of cheating.

Like seriously, relationship is not easy.

Lol @disturb.... seeems you can also relate.
Yes a lady can call...both ways it should be....but I have to see the guys commitment too To the extent I would become so free too to call him at any time.
If not I would be d one chasing him...if I chase him for relationship I must continue it all tro marriage

And I learn guys like to chase not be chased right?
Also ladies love being chased n not chasing����

1 Like

Re: How Are You Able To Cope With This by Nobody: 10:29am On Aug 28, 2017
fumisko:


Lol @disturb.... seeems you can also relate.
Yes a lady can call...both ways it should be....but I have to see the guys commitment too To the extent I would become so free too to call him at any time.
If not I would be d one chasing him...if I chase him for relationship I must continue it all tro marriage

And I learn guys like to chase not be chased right?
Also ladies love being chased n not chasing����
Yes I can relate.

If he doesn't show commitment, don't push it too much, just leave the relationship, unless the guy is busy that's why he rarely calls.

A guy should chase a girl not the other way round.

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