@Mcdoe. see me see trouble. that was just a play on words, didnt mean nothing by it. i was simply agreeing with what u said and fooling around with u. but anyways, seems u have a great sense of imagination. dream on o.

@acidrop. hmm, u sef wan hear tori? amebo. 

@veracious. which kain love? i think not o. dont trip o.

Debosky will she be calling you all these names in public as well?

soulpatrol:

@Mcdoe. see me see trouble. that was just a play on words, didnt mean nothing by it. i was simply agreeing with what u said and fooling around with u. but anyways, seems u have a great sense of imagination. dream on o.

@acidrop. hmm, u sef wan hear tori? amebo.

@veracious. which kain love? i think not o. don't trip o.

haha, there is nothing wrong with been amebo nowww

@acidrop. mebo mebo.

i no say make u turn am to my name sha

Calling a man by his name is generally resented in our society. Even till, date it is a culture that keep reverating. Some guys felt insulted when their babe call them by name. But in most cases I had dealt with, they don't say it for fear of losing the babe.

If your man had a value system, it is better not to call him by his name. You can call him pet names to be on safe side. The good thing about pet names is that, you would not just avoid the trap of calling him by name, you would be adding spice to the affair. However, as you move on, have chilldren, the puzzle would naturally solve itself.

Women who made mistake of not knowing what is their man's opinion about this subject may end up in regret. Believe it or not, some guys, mostly guys for good backgrounds, use this as one of the yardstick to screen ladies when choosing for marriage. For instance, a man has two girls both of them attractive, and seem to level on every parameters. However, one call him by his name while the other do the reverse. Any man can guess which of them woule be selected.

Can you please stop speaking for all men? Fortunately some of them arent so retarded that they would take such an idiotic issue like this seriously.

whoa, Thiefofhearts, i can imagine ur shock too after reading this guy's post! i didnt know there were still guys with this kind of mindset left. how can a guy feel insulted when his girl calls him by his name? isnt that the reason we're named anyway? for it to be actually used. shuo! what, is he claiming seniority over her? i dont believe this, and i shouldn't even justify this yeye thread by replying, so WHATEVER!

Calling a man by his name is generally resented in our society. Even till, date it is a culture that keep reverating. Some guys felt insulted when their babe call them by name. But in most cases I had dealt with, they don't say it for fear of losing the babe.

If your man had a value system, it is better not to call him by his name. You can call him pet names to be on safe side. The good thing about pet names is that, you would not just avoid the trap of calling him by name, you would be adding spice to the affair. However, as you move on, have chilldren, the puzzle would naturally solve itself.

Women who made mistake of not knowing what is their man's opinion about this subject may end up in regret. Believe it or not, some guys, mostly guys for good backgrounds, use this as one of the yardstick to screen ladies when choosing for marriage. For instance, a man has two girls both of them attractive, and seem to level on every parameters. However, one call him by his name while the other do the reverse. Any man can guess which of them woule be selected.

The girl he didn't choose is the lucky one for the fact that she does not have to end up in a marriage with a dim witted cheater who thinks it acceptable to have to girls at the same time but not have a girl call him by the name he was given at birth.

When you do the kind of work I engaged in (which I wouldn't specified) you would understand why I take moderate path when it come to contentious issues. We have over 100 active cultures in this country. It is a great error to use Lagos culture as overall cultural identity of Nigeria.

The good thing is I didn't generalized. My training and understanding of people had taught me alot on the issue.

The point I tried to make is majority( not all) of men are hypocrite when it come to this issue. So if a lady don't know where her man stand, she should either ask him or thread the path of caution. Some of the ladies using pet names for their guys do so out of respect for the guy and not Love. I personally don't have a preference. It may shock you to know where I stand.

In nairaland, we have educated men and women of about 50, 000 making lively discurss on issue affecting over 140m people. Around 70% of the contributors are southerners. It is logically wrong to assume their veiw is the popular view especially when most of them are yet to know what is marriage. Only those who are married can speak on matter that had to do with marriage with authority. CALLING A MAN BY HIS NAME IN MARRIAGE IS DEPENDENT ON THE MAN AND HIS TRADITION AND HIS VALUE. We all have one.

:osoulpatrol,agreed but most men change after tying d knots.but if u find yourself in a situation whereby your hubby fails to call u a pet especially at thisage and time what would u do work out on d marriage

It is part of the challenges of marriage. Why would you quit marriage because you diagree with your partner on issue that would soon wear itself out? Couples who let such thing derail their marriage are immatured, and if I may add, stupid.

I cannot speak for all men. One thing I am sure of is that wise couples would have settled this sort of issue before marriage. That is if they are really planning for a happy home. And if they fail to do so, it is up to them. During courtship, you get to know your partner enough to decide if you want to marry him. A smart woman would find out where her man stand and not try to imagine all men would have capitulated to western culture.

Let me point out another or even what may appear shocking. Traditionally, African women kneel down before their husband. But the tradition is fading.,. Yet, most ladies who underwent traditional marriages kneel down before their husbands in public glare. Why did you ladies not begin your rebellion that day? Respect? Fun? If you are not married I suggest you give it a try. Go for traditional wedding and reject their rules in public. Regardless of what happen later, that singular action show that ladies acknowledge this things does exist. It is another ball game how you handle it in marriage. Methink, as the marriage grows couple sort it out. Men are not irrational, they treat you the way you want to be treated. Where ladies got it wrong is to assume a man is incapable of doing something because they haven't seen him do it.

This is Africa, not Europe. We must never forget that. So it is best to be prepared for any eventuality.

olanajim:

This is Africa, not Europe. We must never forget that. So it is best to be prepared for any eventuality.

you have a point and at the same time you don't. This are no hard and fast rules that have to be adhered to by everyone, every couple does what suits them. Your wife is not your servant so i don't expect her to spend her time kneeling down for me, she's a partner not a househelp. Respect is not only when she's on her knees, its in the way she talks to you, treats you and in how she respects her marital vows.

To the issue of whether to call by name or not. I don't think this is an issue that really warranted another long and meaningless thread. during the last real "marriage is a possibility" relationship i was in, i never called my girlfriend by her first name, i simply gave her a pet name the first day we met and it stuck. she even started refering to herself by that name after a few weeks. She on the other hand used my first name from day 1 to the last day.
Its all about preference, i call her a pet name not out of respect but because that is the way i chose to do so. she called me by my first name, it didnt diminish the fact that she respected me throughout and far far better than girls who were busy kneeling down for their bfs.

I will always maintain that the seeds of discord in a relationship are sown the very day your wife/girlfriend is not 120% comfortable to completely express herself in your presence. If she can't bang a pillow on another man's head at least she should be able to bang yours.

PTH, I agree with you entirely. You even said it more than I would have love to. I love to hear people like you who would not allow their personal opinions affect their sense of judgment.

I think our world would be a better place if we could acknowledge diversity of cultures, religions, and traditional values, and respect other people's view even if we don't agree with them.

The world is changing and Africa is also changing. While we civilized people look forward to Africans dropping obnoxious cultures and traditions and move in tune with changing world, we must also recognize that some people respond to changes very slowly. Attacking their values will only lead to stubborn resistance and not change. That is why I dislike personalising issues. Yes, your view represent my view. But I won't be specific. Somebody is still going to bombard me. Let see.

PTH:

I will always maintain that the seeds of discord in a relationship are sown the very day your wife/girlfriend is not 120% comfortable to completely express herself in your presence.
If she can't bang a pillow on another man's head at least she should be able to bang yours.

So true.

_yawns

soulpatrol:

@Mcdoe. see me see trouble. that was just a play on words, didnt mean nothing by it. i was simply agreeing with what u said and fooling around with u. but anyways, seems u have a great sense of imagination. dream on o.

@soulpatrol: wetin come be my offence in this situation now?
anyway, u re worth falling in love for, so i dont care what "they" might say!

designplus:

j-girl, I can understand your grouse. May be you are the type the would want to'pocket' her hussy. You better imbibe the African culture. I am not against decent women fighting for good rights. However, such crusaders should take pains to school their colleagues well in order to avoid what i would like to call "overstepping''. We have decided to emulate the West in everything and ironically, this has failed to raise moral standards. No doubt, they are white and we are black in different continent and culture. If someone like J-girl hasn't got married and she needs a man for herself, I strongly advise you against demand for excessive rights. Same applies to married ones. STOP demanding for excessive rights by shunning this fight for equality

olanijim, & others, please read what one guy said earlier on this thread. How would u respond to this?

designplus:

The truth is that, calling the husband by name may not really be a problem. But my concern is that, anytime an issue such as this thread's comes up, some rights agitators such as Nite-Angel and others usually capitalize on it to rob shoulders with men. I want to say here that any attempt to whittle down the decree passed on women/command on their rights since creation shall attract more woes to this world. I stand here to defend, give clear reasons why women should realize that men dictate the pulse of this world. For instance, the Arabs know where women belong and have placed them in such place. For this reason, their lands have been flowing with mineral resources. This is because they have not given women leadership a thought not to talk of trying it.

See another response from designplus

designplus has Down's Syndrome. I thought everyone knew that his words arent meant to be taken seriously.

Unfortuantely he's just a sad little retard.

@ThiefOfHearts. bwahahahaha! see as u just finish this person. LOL. abeg slap me some skin, that yab was a long time coming.

@ TOH

i beg take it easy, you don't have to say that.

arab lands are flowing with mineral resources because they keep their women in bondage?

PTH:

arab lands are flowing with mineral resources because they keep their women in bondage? 

That's what he says!

@ThiefOfHearts: Take it easy na. Does designplus not have the right to express himself. Anyway, he sounds achaic sha.

No his idiotic festac living arse should be banned from even being seen in public, talkless of heard. Go through his posts, all of them are like that are a severely retarded person which he obviously is

so i do sympathize with him because of his plight. 


david, get my message?

ThiefOfHearts:

No his idiotic festac living arse should be banned from even being seen in public, talkless of heard. Go through his posts, all of them are like that are a severely retarded person which he obviously is

so i do sympathize with him because of his plight. 


david, get my message? 

Unfortunately, we haven't heard from designplus for a long time now. I hope he is hale, hearty and living?

more like Fortunately.

ThiefOfHearts:

more like Fortunately.

Na for here you come hide! Your friend babyosisi has been busy mis-yarning in the politics section. Guess what? The tribalistic cartel even devoted a whole thread to me, trying to decide on what to do next. Hehehehe. . . . . .Omo, better gist don waka pass o! Tell me, wetin dey happen for yah end?

wetin? I thought osisi promised to be cool now.

what happened

laudate:

Na for here you come hide! Your friend babyosisi has been busy mis-yarning in the politics section. Guess what? The tribalistic cartel even devoted a whole thread to me, trying to decide on what to do next. Hehehehe. . . . . .Omo, better gist don waka pass o! Tell me, wetin dey happen for yah end?

laudy laudy.
reporting me to your e-saviour?
glad you finally found her

still causing trouble eh? osisi?

ThiefOfHearts:

more like Fortunately.

ThiefOfHearts, can i always meet you online, or better still on y-messenger for some personal discussions. my ID is aruadiohwo