What are the supposed to call their husbands I'm so lost on this one

Calling the husband by name is often considered as lack of respect by the wife. In a situation where the couple is without a child, they usually adopt this idea of calling the hussy, names such as dear, love etc. But as soon as there is a child, such child's name is usually used, such as papa so so so, This is what informed the thread.

I would like to think that after all the expenses our parents must have incurred on our education and enlightenment, we should know by now that respect should be mutual.

So if for any reason the woman must call her husband papa John, then the man should call his wife Mama John.

Mcdoe what would you prefer to be called?


papa something or Mcdoe or honey?
I guess you trying to justify why you wife should not break the african man mentality in you.
I could call you by any name and disrespect you in many other ways so what is the point?

what should i call him? is that not his name?

u call the shots in ur hse so she ca call u whatever u want her to call u. it's that simple

but what matters to u? is it what she calls u or how what she calls u affect ur relationship positively.
u wife is meant to be ur best friend, so come off the name calling and let her call u what she's most comfortable with

calling ur husband by his name is not a form of disrespect at all. must u call him baba so & so to prove ur respect to him. i tire for this nigerian thin o -abeg this is 2007 o!

Some women call their husbands 'my oga' when talking about him to a third party - even though they tore his shirt that morning when they were fighting over 'chop money'. _{my wife calls me honey.}

Before the man (husband) married the woman (wife) what did she call him or when he was toasting her what did he say his name was?hussy,sweety or babalakun? just a question

lafile:

Some women call their husbands 'my oga' when talking about him to a third party - even though they tore his shirt that morning when they were fighting over 'chop money'. _{my wife calls me honey.}

very funny lafile.
I call mine "baby" and I think he likes it.
I call him by name also.
There is no "African rule" to these things,whatever feels good.

wow, these topics, na wa o. see how boredom just makes people come up with all sorts of stupid topics. sheesh!

Soulpatrol, there is nothing like boredom here. This particular topic once generated what i would call 'heated debate' sometimes ago. You may not really understand its import. But any core african woman would not want to call the husband by name save for western influence these days

wetin u want make she call am? Goat?

i dont know understand how you can be intimate with someone and then call them papa this and mama that. very uncool, tradition or not. unless its a pet name thingy.  my husby better not be calling me no damn mama this and that

soulpatrol, This is the damn culture where I live. Although those who are "exposed" are trying to stop it by embracing the western style, this habit still holds sway. Don't u think they should be allowed to practice their culture?

I like the name my mum uses for my dad so i might use that

but one thing i am not doing is calling him 'daddy' - not happening at all
Now for me to call him papa whatever, no way - sound so old-school
Probably call him honey, baby, sweetheart or some cute nickname we come up with mutually

McDoe, it's not the "damn" culture neither is it a Nigerian culture. It's just another way men try to make women subservient. There are very old traditional couples who call themselves by their first names and there are others who use e (to signify respect) for their wives. What works for you is what you should adopt. I don't want to believe you posted this just to strengthen what you believe.

In trying to keep the idea of not calling husbands by name some have mixed up the role of father and husband; if he's your "daddy" then its okay for his words to be law and it's okay for him to be the only one who can check 'junior' when he misbehaves, if he's your husband then you do have a say.

If you insist that it's a Nigerian culture from your side of the divide, culture changes with the people. In yesteryears men brought home every naira and kobo needed for the home, today; they may not survive of she's not working. Culture is never static except in our imagination.

McDoe, what did she call you during the courtship days? Why has whatever she called you at the very initial stage of the love affair become inappropriate?

The reason we have more broken homes and fewer weddings is because men usually try to change the contract as soon as women ratify their status; I say ratify because you don't acquire the status of husband until a woman signs or approves of it. We build love on friendship but we strain love by trying to convert the contract into boss - surbordinate office relationship.

If you want to keep your woman and gain more than just respect, honor her by giving her the measure of respect you want and keep the friendship alive.

i don't see what harm calling your husband by name can cause.

Isn't that the name his parents gave him?

its just another lame attempt for men to try to claim dominance over a woman. mcdoe, or whatever your name is, you better wake up. gone are the days when women were submissive and treated their husbands like they were god or whatever. its more like 50-50 treatment now. if you want respect, you gotta deserve it and not expect it just because you're a "man". better recognize!

Designplus, get it into your medulla oblongata that it is not a man's world but that it is patriarchy has made you think that way. What is wrong with y'all? Why do men feel like they rule the world? We're equals but you know that the minute you admit it, your masculinity is threatened.

j-girl, If there is something I avoid mostly, it is joining issues with a lady especially when I know the mindset as it relates to a subject for discussion. But let me reiterate that even if we are equal, men are more equal. The very day we swallowed that unwarranted call for gender equality by women, the world will crumble. You better know this

I think you're right to avoid cases like this cos i do not even want to get into this so late at night. The day you swallow the pill of gender equality, the world will be a much better place.

Let's just forget the equality part. As far as i am concerned, if i am going to call my husband by any "respectful" tones, he better do the same to me. Or better yet, we could stick to each other's names

Designplus, do you have a female boss or an elder sister? Does she have to respect you because you are a man by design or by accident? When a man says respect me because I am a man, he is simply saying despite my inadequacies I demand respect; Every human who adequately takes care of her/his responsibilities and is respectful wouldn't have to demand for respect; it is earned! Earning respect begins with such flimsy things like calling your woman what you wish to be called.

As for me, calling my husband by name doesnt matter but the respect i have for him is what matters most. cheers

j-girl & Nite Angel, From the way both of u sound, it is clear that you are some of the women rights activists. But you should undersand that, God has given man dominion over all creations including woman. This so-called fight for equality is unreligious, illogical, baseless and criminal. A woman who is a helper cannot claim to equal the man. For instance, countries like Britain, Germany, Indonesia etc which have promoted this rights to the extreme by making women their leaders have not been able to rise up from the consequences such moves had earned them. Their economies have continued to nose-dive. Please we should understand the role of man and give him all the respect. Man is not that greedy; he knows also the kind of respect he can give to his helper, i.e, the woman.