missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

The grand daughter of the Japanese emperor/king recently chose to marry a commoner and in so doing gave up her royal status. Social status and wealth isn't an assurance that one would be happy neither is poverty or penury but one thing is certain do not let a false sense association based on these conditions lead into making a wrong decision.

missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

Please keep looking for your level...lol don't come down so u don't kill an innocent man all because of level

truthsayer009:


Sorry to say, but let me spill this out for you.

If you hang out where lower middle class / struggling guys hang out. Those are who will come your way. Your circle of friends too also matters.

Your location also matters, if you are doing well but staying in a local area on the mainland. Who do you think you would mix with?

Your church / mosque also matters. You cannot be worshiping at House on the Rock or Redeem church in Banana island & be mixing up with Riff Raff's.

If you want to meet rich guys, you need to set yourself up.

How do you think all those Runs girls make the moves?

true talk

Time is going.

Your life. Am battling mine.

Peace.

NCANpatroller:


Marry your mothers husband! Im sure is already made Oponu Sow and reap! Gerrahia mehn

infact let her marry her uncle!

Time is going.

missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

We won't help you live with him, so your choice, your cross. We can't help you, not really

carzola:
This is why God should not
bless all the poor people

look at this bitch that use
to beg for sub money..

now has a taste.

why did u call her a bitch young man?

NCANpatroller:


Marry your mothers husband! Im sure is already made Oponu Sow and reap! Gerrahia mehn

Poor man. Still eating mama thank you.

Coming to create this kind of thread shows clearly your person and you will sure find answers here!

Ajewealth123:
Your life is in your hands.
But let me enlighten you, all those you mention isn't a criteria.
What matters in a relationship is love, LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE.
p'square/omotayo
Emoney/ his wife
Tuface/ Annie
And so on.go through their story line the guys were extremely poor but they are hardworking guys and today, few of their peers meet up to standard.
My advice is, marry foe love but marry someone who has ambition,vision and is hardworking

Love is not enough. It can start a relationship but can't sustain it alone.
You must combine it with communication, care and yes money. Money is important.

missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

I wish you the best in your search. How old are u?

Nedfed:
Problems with gals/ladies of nowadays.
OP I pray your case is not like dat of my female friend (Bimbo).
@26, she got an appointment with FIRS
Ever since no man worth her taste, she sees every young man that approach her has poor.
This how she live till she clock 34 with no man to settle with.
To cut the story short, she later got married to one Alhaji@ibadan with 3 wives as a result of no choice. Now the Alhaji has stopped her from working and make her a full house wife.

Just a lesson for the OP, no one is born to be poor. An average man today can still be the next billionaire 2moro.

Don't mind the OP. 'Settle for less' indeed. Nigerians are so brain-addled by poverty, they judge everyone by their bank balance. How much did Adenuga, MKO, Fashola, Coscharis, etc have when their wives married them ?
I'm sick and tired of all these posts on NL from both males and females. Marriage is a relationship, a partnership, a friendship.
Did you choose your best friends in school based on how rich they were ? Do you choose your unit members in church or your team members at work based on their bank balance ?
No. You choose people you understand and can work with.
You look for reliable, fun, dependable compatible people. You make alliances with people that you share values with and who will not let you down. Your property in marriage becomes their property and vice versa. You eliminate liabilities together. That's how our parents did it and they remained together for decades. Nowadays 5 years is an achievement for some people.

Many Nigerian ladies are just too money conscious in relationships. They deny it, they attack you when you say it, but its the truth. The economy is bad. Nigerians are not lazy. More than 80% of rich people you see are either fraudulent or struggling in secret with their finances. Don't drive the young men to crime with your demands and expectations.
The lady and those like her should chill or else go and marry her money. Money she gets as an employee from a job she can lose at any time.

goingape1:
once you enter 35 and single you will be finding even lesser than less to settle down with

do you think men will be available?

any women who is telling you that men are all round and you will see the perfect one, biko!! that woman no want your progress.

in summary! marry your father


useless women thinking that the world revolve around them, and you see them apes shouting female right or feminist.

Poor wretched man.
This topic pain you sha
You will know useless women na.
After all, it was a useless woman that gave birth to you.

LadyGoddiva:
I can already imagine your mouth twisted by poverty! When was the last time you ate a real meal? Why's her choice paining you so much? Look at this wretched and broke ass fool looking for a rich babe. You'll not go and work hard and make something out of your miserable and useless life! SmellyPig
And not everyone sTarted out poor. I'm sure you're one of those lazy, indolent dolts that stay in bed all day jerking off to porn and imagining "blowing", while screaming "Oluwa bless my hustle". God doesn't bless redundant masturbators. Be a man and work hard and live an okay life, maybe then you'll be able to have an opinion when relevant people are talking.

Chai..........

You have finished him

look for a man that both of you can build life together irrespective of wage status.

missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

Life is not straight.

I have seen guys that are wealthy and successful becoming nothing within a period, I have seen those that society says they have no future ambition becoming wealthy and successful.

This is a critical stage that you need Gods guidance and the effective solution is to go to him in prayers. God will surely direct your steps.

missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

Since you actually bring something to the table I see nothing wrong with you having set this particular standard for yourself

If you find someone you like who may not be where he wants to be career/finance wise currently but is ambitious and has the qualifications to get there at some point realistically, cases like this tend to be temporary, an already made man of course is more preferable but realistically most people have to start somewhere and success isn't an overnight thing so men like this are definitely types I also would also consider.

Anyone else is a no and other than the scenario above, don't settle for 'less' if you don't want to, especially if it's because people are trying to guilt, 'scare' etc you into it. Don't drop your standards just because you want to get married

Do not drop your standards for anyone just because you want to get married

"Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential".
To the above: no, it is not bad at all to want someone on the same level or slightly below.

"Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler".
They are everywhere.

[color=#006600][/color]look for a man that can build life with you. Not already made man who will not respect you in future.

truthsayer009:


Sorry to say, but let me spill this out for you.

If you hang out where lower middle class / struggling guys hang out. Those are who will come your way. Your circle of friends too also matters.

Your location also matters, if you are doing well but staying in a local area on the mainland. Who do you think you would mix with?

Your church / mosque also matters. You cannot be worshiping at House on the Rock or Redeem church in Banana island & be mixing up with Riff Raff's.

If you want to meet rich guys, you need to set yourself up.

How do you think all those Runs girls make the moves?

you never see anything?? You think it is by mixing and hanging out. Marriage is overrated. This young lady just made reference to one problem; financial status. Your posts clearly addresses that. If you are looking for the rich, stay where the rich are. So she may not be looking for the loving, caring, respectful man that is average but a higher man. Reality these days is Higher men settle for higher babe. The good job she is saying might be 80k salary and be looking for a guy that works with Chevron. Finally, I know how many of us during the university years dreamt of working in shell and the Big IOC's. I had an argument with my classmate sometime self that it's best to start with 150K job if the shell job does not come. They were like No, No it has to be from 500K or nothing. Today, few years down, we know what it is. You will NOT always get what you desire but you can always have what you want and need. There are more broke boys but packaging, that spends nothing on a babe in most of these churches btw

Rorachy:
Don't rush into marriage by settling for the less.

I will never settle for the less cos I won't be happy, and my aspiration in life is to be happy.

Girls talk like u be 18 and 28, all dt changes when they hit 30 yrs. Settling for less crew but a rich guy can even marry a student with potential. U are entitled to ur choice sha

It depends on your definition of "less"

It is not everything in life that is measured in Naira and Kobo.

The world around us is a reflection of the world within us.

For instance, some ladies are married to their dream guys and you wonder how they did it?
when you check those ladies are easy going, from average families living average lives, but with a mental attitude we don't know about.

missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

Don't settle for less

missloluwa:
Hey guys,

I'm in my mid 20's and i've been working for a few years now, my current salary is very decent and i'm striving to earn more. Obviously at my age, i'm thinking of the long term which obviously includes my career but i'm also looking forward to and marriage and kids. However, the vast majority of guys i've met are either not ready for the long term, or they're still in their 'struggling' phase.

Is it bad that I want someone who is at least on the same level as me, or maybe even slightly below? Am I a 'gold-digger' because i don't really want to 'eat garri' with a guy before he blows? I've dated these guys before but even till now their level hasn't changed much despite all their talk about potential.

I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

Settle for whenever u find true love and happiness, that's the most important thing in a lifetime relationships. Don't settle down bcs u want a guy with ur level or more, these are the keys marriages don't last this days. U might settled wit a richer guy and never find love and happiness in the marriage and this will lead to a break up again. I pray that never be ur portion. So please, settle down with anyone who gives u joy and happiness and shows u true love.
Good luck

missloluwa:
Hey guys,


I don't mind having to split the bill once in a while or even contribute but i'm a lady that's used to certain tastes. My family isn't Dangote rich but we're doing quite well, and i'd like to continue living that life or at least not drop too far below. What do you guys think? Do I keep looking for these 'almost/made guys'(can anyone tell me where to find them? lol) or do I settle for a struggler.

"Once in a while or even contribute"? Nah! When you are ready to split the bill equally with me, then I'm game. I'm actually looking for a woman like you.

emman44:
Mans plan is not Gods plan. seek God for his plan for you on partner. As you are only fulfilled when u operate under his plan.

I am surprised this kind of answer will be on the first page. Bless you

jaychubi:


Girls talk like u be 18 and 28, all dt changes when they hit 30 yrs. Settling for less crew but a rich guy can even marry a student with potential. U are entitled to ur choice sha

I assure you, I cant even hit even 25 without getting married and I still won't marry less.

When I say settle for less, it doesn't mean that I am planning to marry a very rich man.

I have my standards and am not lowering it for anyone.

OldBeer:
Poor wretched man. This topic pain you sha You will know useless women na. After all, it was a useless woman that gave birth to you.

lol!
not as useless as your mama who beg for food!

pocohantas:
You are not a gold-digger or any of those plenty adjectives.

Settle for where you find love, respect and fulfilment.

The probability you would find all of the above in a social status way below yours is low.

As I have come to notice our daily cycle, religious, social and professional association ...plays a huge influence on who we meet.

The emotional blackmailers and masters in scare tactics are here. They'll tell you of that aunty who has gotten to menopause for having a standard. They won't tell you of the ones who ended up emotionally shattered for not having a standard. There is no one formula for getting this right.

We all have things that helps our association with the opposite sex, be it financial, educational, religious, cultural...even sexual. There must be one 'vain' thing that keeps you glued to a partner, no matter how non-superficial you try to portray yourself. It only becomes a set-back if you pay no attention to other qualities.

That said, everything is done with moderation. There is no guaranty a struggling guy will treat you right. There is also no guarantee a rich man will treat you right.

The only man that would treat you right is that man who loves and respects you. Direct your association to your target kind of men. If you are bringing something to the table, you are deserving of a partner who does same. Let no one guilt trip you!!!

Our young men are getting 'smarter' too. Financial compatibility is important.

10/10
I can't remember the last time I read a rational and responsible comment here in nairaland.
You nailed it.