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Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? - Family (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? (12661 Views)

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Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by Jsaviour(f): 11:16pm On Oct 10, 2017
tintingz:
Lol, how can people believe a full grown woman with all the organism, cell, tissue in her body came out from a man's tiny ribs still baffles me and I believed in this myths for years.


And to think it's even the woman that gave birth to them. How come someone or thing(cos that's how some men see women-as properties) as small as one rib now becomes the mother of the earth and source of life (birthing). When you tell humans to use their brain they will say no. maybe if we tell them it's an app, they will start using it. Your maker that gave you the sense isn't stupid, he wants you to use it.

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Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by tintingz(m): 11:20pm On Oct 10, 2017
solasoulmusic:


No the man is still the head of the home and respected as such as I was taught I won’t change the dynamics of the home if we put God first.

When you get married your supposed to drop The I for the We

In any home it’s best to not Rob anyone Of their personal peace and lord over them no one is perfect sure there will be days you’ll get mad but maturity is when you can admit your shortcomings and work through them
So you were taught?
So what happens when the wife doesn't cook but work, is she a good wife?
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by Nobody: 11:21pm On Oct 10, 2017
Jsaviour:


hahhahahhaha, I go laugh tire today.
This sounds like the words of a selective religious man.
If the woman is a prostitute hope she will still be the wife no matter what?, since the man can be a drunkard and still the head.
grin
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by zoeshalom(m): 11:22pm On Oct 10, 2017
tintingz:
No, wrong, I said don't use your religious and traditional opinion as the ultimate answer to this. Don't misquote me. Where did I use social stereotype?

Just make it neutral.
When you asked if a lady refuses or can't tend for the home in the kitchen is not a social construct?
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by tintingz(m): 11:23pm On Oct 10, 2017
Jsaviour:


And to even think it's even the woman that gave birth to them. How come someone or thing(cos that's how some men see women-as properties) as small as one rib now becomes the mother of the earth and source of life (birthing). When you tell humans to use their brain they will say no. maybe if we tell them it's an app, they will start using it. Your maker that gave you the sense isn't stupid, he wants you to use it.
Lol, grin grin grin
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by solasoulmusic(f): 11:29pm On Oct 10, 2017
tintingz:
So you were taught?
So what happens when the wife doesn't cook but work, is she a good wife?

Those are grey areas and things couples need to discuss a working woman can still manage a home ...My Mother did effectively.

Personally I see myself more as a stay at home mum not because I won’t want to work but because my Business will revolve around my home
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by tintingz(m): 11:29pm On Oct 10, 2017
zoeshalom:
When you asked if a lady refuses or can't tend for the home in the kitchen is not a social construct?
It was a rational question I asked.

If the quality of a husband as the head is being the breadwinner and the wife being value as good wife for cooking, if the man can still be called the head and tell the wife to be submissive even tho he's not the breadwinner then why do people bash the wife if she doesn't Cook? Is a woman a good and responsible wife if she doesn't Cook?

Take note of the double standard.

1 Like

Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by tintingz(m): 11:35pm On Oct 10, 2017
solasoulmusic:


Those are grey areas and things couples need to discuss a working woman can still manage a home ...My Mother did effectively.

Personally I see myself more as a stay at home mum not because I won’t want to work but because my Business will revolve around my home
There are a lot of married woman doing double duties, working to provide and building the home while the man only work to provide. That's in africa.

But when a woman doesn't do the responsibility as the wife she's bashed but when same happens to the man he's still the head and no bashing, the wife must be submissive like a puppet. This is the double standard I'm pointing out from this rational question.

If a woman is the stay at home person like a house wife, that's another case.

1 Like

Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by sherlockhush: 11:37pm On Oct 10, 2017
God brought marriage and it will be foolish to reason marriage without God's word. A man leaves is father and go in search of a wife. Woman are met to submit themselves to their husband and husband should honour and treat their wives with love. 1peter 3:1 and vs 7 explains this properly. God made the man head not because he was only financially stable but because he can manage the home and present the home to God. Any marriage that comes in as a result of love sees beyond riches. They had a vow to maintain their position whether rich or poor, sickness or health till death do them apart.
Pls if you are not married don't come here and start using your evil logic to spoil married people's home.
Mind you there is a curse that you will carry by destroying a home with your immatured logic. What God has joined together let no man put assunder.

You are not married to see how it work and you go online to laugh and mislead homes ...

A man predicament does not make him useless to the home. Every good wife should have proverb 31: 10-31.

If you are the wife and you are looking to be the head of the home why should you allow the man to come ask your hand in marriage. Why don't you go to the man house and marry him.

In marriage the man heads all affairs spiritually, physically, mentally, financially , when one is not physically stable the wife who is the support comes in to assist ..

Ask a single mother how it cost her to take care of her child. He will tell you if it is money only , the child will have remain wayward. No child wants to grow up in a single parent home.

The presence of the man make the child unique lacking nothing. Pls ask a child that grew up in a single parent home.

Just go and marry so you can get facts, and don't come here and start polluting peoples mind with useless logic which will later drive the peace of the home.

Manage your home and stop asking people about their home.


tintingz:
Hello folks.

I want to know if the husband still earn/deserve the position of "head of the house" if the wife is the breadwinner?

Is the "head of the house" earned or a birth right for men?

I understand some men lost their job and their wife took/take up the responsibilities but what happens when the wife is the one keep doing it for years, no positive move from the husband?

* I'm not a religious person nor traditional person, so don't use your religious/traditional view as the ultimate/superior answer, just comment your views on this.
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by zoeshalom(m): 11:40pm On Oct 10, 2017
tintingz:
It was a rational question I asked.

If the quality of a husband as the head is being the breadwinner and the wife being value as good wife for cooking, if the man can still be called the head and tell the wife to be submissive even tho he's not the breadwinner then why do people bash the wife if she doesn't Cook? Is a woman a good and responsible wife if she doesn't Cook?

Take note of the double standard.
I guess the contextual definition of the head being synonymous to being the bread winner is what you have a problem with? And for those thinking the Bible defined the head as only the breadwinner are wrong, because the in proverbs 31, it encourages the woman to work and tend for the needs of the and in doing so she brings honor to her home and is praised.

1 Like

Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by tintingz(m): 11:42pm On Oct 10, 2017
sherlockhush:
God brought marriage and it will be foolish to reason marriage without God's word. A man leaves is father and go in search of a wife. Woman are met to submit themselves to their husband and husband should honour and treat their wives with love. 1peter 3:1 and vs 7 explains this properly. God made the man head not because he was only financially stable but because he can manage the home and present the home to God. Any marriage that comes in as a result of love sees beyond riches. They had a vow to maintain their position whether rich or poor, sickness or health till death do them apart.
Pls if you are not married don't come here and start using your evil logic to spoil married people's home.
Mind you there is a curse that you will carry by destroying a home with your immatured logic. What God has joined together let no man put assunder.

You are not married to see how it work and you go online to laugh and mislead homes ...

A man predicament does not make him useless to the home. Every good wife should have proverb 31: 10-31.

If you are the wife and you are looking to be the head of the home why should you allow the man to come ask your hand in marriage. Why don't you go to the man house and marry him.

In marriage the man heads all affairs spiritually, physically, mentally, financially , when one is not physically stable the wife who is the support comes in to assist ..

Ask a single mother how it cost her to take care of her child. He will tell you if it is money only , the child will have remain wayward. No child wants to grow up in a single parent home.

The presence of the man make the child unique lacking nothing. Pls ask a child that grew up in a single parent home.

Just go and marry so you can get facts, and don't come here and start polluting peoples mind with useless logic which will later drive the peace of the home.

Manage your home and stop asking people about their home.


Kindly take your religious superiority to the next door or better still take it to pastor oyakhilome or Chris okotie on how marriage works.
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by tintingz(m): 11:44pm On Oct 10, 2017
zoeshalom:
I guess the contextual definition of the head being synonymous to being the bread winner is what you have a problem with? And for those thinking the Bible defined the head as only the breadwinner are wrong, because the in proverbs 31, it encourages the woman to work and tend for the needs of the and in doing so she brings honor to her home and is praised.
Sorry oga, I don't subscribe to Bible definition.
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by sherlockhush: 11:47pm On Oct 10, 2017
May God help you to have a good home... I pray you have a taste of the second side of marriage in just one year in Jesus Name Amen...

tintingz:
Kindly take your religious superiority to the next door or better still take it to pastor oyakhilome or Chris okotie on how marriage works.
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by sherlockhush: 11:50pm On Oct 10, 2017
Just try and marry outside God , I give you just 2years to tell the tale


tintingz:
Sorry oga, I don't subscribe to Bible definition.
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by zoeshalom(m): 11:54pm On Oct 10, 2017
tintingz:
Sorry oga, I don't subscribe to Bible definition.
Am not asking you to, but want to correct the warped impression that the Bible is a book that massages the Ego of a man.

1 Like

Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by zoeshalom(m): 11:57pm On Oct 10, 2017
tintingz:
It was a rational question I asked.

If the quality of a husband as the head is being the breadwinner and the wife being value as good wife for cooking, if the man can still be called the head and tell the wife to be submissive even tho he's not the breadwinner then why do people bash the wife if she doesn't Cook? Is a woman a good and responsible wife if she doesn't Cook?

Take note of the double standard.
From your response it shows you are not reacting based on rationality, but you seems to have a problem with the Bible?
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by crownson(m): 11:58pm On Oct 10, 2017
Come rain, come shine
night or day
in any situation, circumstances
the man is the "head of the house".
Just as Christ is the head of the church.

1 Like

Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by sacluxisback(m): 12:36am On Oct 11, 2017
No matter how osibande shines, jubrin is still the president.
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by chieni(f): 12:36am On Oct 11, 2017
I think you should have a talk with him. Ask what is actually happening, and the rest.
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by Prognose: 12:45am On Oct 11, 2017
sacluxisback:
No matter how osibande shines, jubrin is still the president.
Lol grin
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by Prognose: 12:59am On Oct 11, 2017
Lol@op
Even if you earn all the money for the house your children will still answer their father's name so he's the head.

Even if you earn all the money for the house and are now rubbing it in the man's face and making fun of him because he is currently down, then you are immature and not fit to be the head.

Even if you are the sole breadwinner in the house, you're still not in charge of security, your husband will be the one to tuck you and the kids in at night and make sure the house is secure before going to bed himself...unless he has become so embittered by your attitude that he doesn't care anymore.

Even if you are the one putting food on the table it was not always so. There was a time he went out to work so you could afford the house you now live in. You cant be a leader if you are not humble.

Even if you are currently the breadwinner of the house, he still came to your father's house and paid your dowry. He is responsible for you and it is him people will come and ask if anything goes wrong with you so he is still your head.



Oh, and none of the things I mentioned above had anything to do with religion since religion hurts you so much cool

Even in your logical world everything has a head. If the head is cut off the body dies. The hand or leg does not automatically become the head if the head is incapacitated yet all parts of the body perform equally important functions. Read this with wisdom.


(I would advice you to look for ways to encourage that man in your life that is making you feel this way to become the leader/head that he once was instead of struggling to change the status quo because perhaps he has fallen on hard times.)

Peace....
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by IBBG(m): 1:16am On Oct 11, 2017
i think ceremonially, the man is designated the head of the home, but functionally anybody can assume that role. When there is understanding between both parties, then there will be no need to want to flex muscle to show who is the head. i think men especially should always see their wifes as their equals and not their inferior, and see the position of being the head as a shared responsibilty. which means the man is responsible to the woman and the woman is responsible to the man, nobody is superior to each other, by so doing whoever is footing the family bills will not feel cheated or feel the other party is irrelevant. As for me both man and woman are both the head. nothing less

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Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by solasoulmusic(f): 2:00am On Oct 11, 2017
tintingz:
There are a lot of married woman doing double duties, working to provide and building the home while the man only work to provide. That's in africa.

But when a woman doesn't do the responsibility as the wife she's bashed but when same happens to the man he's still the head and no bashing, the wife must be submissive like a puppet. This is the double standard I'm pointing out from this rational question.

If a woman is the stay at home person like a house wife, that's another case.

I don’t think it’s a double standard it really speaks about man and his position in Gods plans as the head of the household nothing can ever take that away and it’s deliberate

It’s now up to that man to step up and still play a fatherly and husbandly role despite the tough times you can get upset with a man but do know when to lay off in bashing that’s the loving way
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by Originalsly: 2:45am On Oct 11, 2017
chukzyfcbb:

The question doesn't say if the man earns less, he asked if the man is not earning stall and the woman is the one bringing all the money, can she be called the breadwinner.

you are confusing yourself. No matter how small a man earns, he will always be the head of the house. Who says ones wife cannot be richer after marriage?

The crux of the matter lies if he doesn't earn " shi-shi"
I hear you...going back directly to the question raised....if the woman earns the title of head of household if she is the one working and bringing home the bacon cash...No....she is not head of household...she is the breadwinner.
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by femison32(m): 3:28am On Oct 11, 2017
alexialin:






Well buhari is NOT my husband. And the role of buhari to this country is different from the role of my husband at home.

U can't compare politics or duties in the workplace to duties at home.

A man has always been the head irrespective of whether he has money or not.
Anybody that's rich be it man or woman is not by our power at all.
It's either by the grace of God or by the grace of the devil.

So if I am successful more than my husband? It's not because I have two heads and he has one head, neither is it because am the only one who knows how to work smart and see results. Everything in this life is by backed up by Grace . And not only by Individual powers.

Anyways av been taught from my teenage years, a Man is always the head of the home. While the wife is his support system.

I will still care ,love and respect him, knowing fully well he will become successful once again, and someday.

If my husband and kids are happy. I am happy and my business will flourish.
But if my husband is not happy but depressed due to my actions towards him cause he has no money for nw, it will affect my business and state of mind.

And that's why am very careful not to make a mistake of marrying a drama king, or a sadist.
Such kind of men can't even date, how much more settle down with.


So for me o, I don't know of other women out there.

My husband remains the head of our home through thick or thin, in richness or in poverty, sickness and in good health. He's the head.

Shikena.
i love your mentality keep it up really excited by it

1 Like

Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by corpershun: 4:33am On Oct 11, 2017
crownson:
Come rain, come shine
night or day
in any situation, circumstances
the man is the "head of the house".
Just as Christ is the head of the church.

The Man is the head of the house. No argument but there are clauses.

To further buttress that passage, The man was admonished to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Now Christ so much loved the church that He gave his life for the church as the HEAD of the church.

Since we are looking at it biblically then any man that can not give his life for his family is not fit to be called the HEAD.
Also note what love means in 1 Corinthians 13, people should read the whole Bible and not just pick a verse their pastor uses to preach and start intimidating people. That's why some people become atheist, little understanding of the Word of God.

A drunkard or an irresponsible fellow claiming head is just one on paper. A woman that cannot take care of her household is not fit to be a wife.

Marriage is partnership. The man the head, the wife the neck. If this concept isn't bastardized, then all things work together for good...

More so, a wise woman is the head without assuming it, she basically controls the man but subtly, that he does her desires without him knowing it. Just like the neck controls the head in whatever direction seemingly.
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by Nobody: 4:41am On Oct 11, 2017
alexialin:






Awww smiley
That's so sweet of you

Thanks dear, love you too.


Sighs my dear, amen and amen to have a selfless and hardworking man as a husband. I receive it cheesy

Thank you.




You might get hurt if you continue like this
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by Ndipe(m): 4:43am On Oct 11, 2017
The man is always the head of the family. If you disagree with me, come and explain why a woman, even if she makes more money than the man would still bear the man's last name, likewise the children.
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by Gettreadyy(m): 5:03am On Oct 11, 2017
kimbraa:
This is why I filter what I take on social media. Invariably, you're saying if a man can't fulfil his financial obligation in marriage while the wife is doing so then she's the head of the home.

I used to have a neighbour(couple) I admired in the past. The man was rich, suddenly loss his job, and the wife became the bread winner. Good thing, he married an educated woman who loved him genuinely. She pays house rent, children school fees, subscribes their cable to keep her husband's mind busy with football instead of being depressed cause of thinking. At times, when I visit them they're arguing about scriptures, and I admired what they had. Once she had misunderstanding with another lady and the lady abused her, guess what she did...she went home to seek for her husband's permission to fight the lady, instead the man came out and settled the beef.

Bottom line, her husband remained the head of the home irrespective of his predicament.
If the husband Is your friend, advice him to look for work, He must not leave the wife to continue providing for the family... the children may not respect and admire him for that fact.
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by chidichuddo: 5:55am On Oct 11, 2017
the way I see it the Op just want to argue, seems he likes it


but more seriously, if you have noticed here on Nairaland, most ladies don't ask questions or create topics relating to marriage.

80 percent of topics about marriage are created by men, seeing they want it to work.

women on the other hand....smh
Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by Caprigal: 6:05am On Oct 11, 2017
chidichuddo:
the way I see it the Op just want to argue, seems he likes it


but more seriously, if you have noticed here on Nairaland, most ladies don't ask questions or create topics relating to marriage.

80 percent of topics about marriage are created by men, seeing they want it to work.

women on the other hand....smh


Women create topics only that if they create a topic defending themselves or saying how they deserve to be equal human beings, men will come in their hundreds to insult them or tell them they will grow old and die alone because of their feminism.
The only time they don't get attacked is if they post something saying how men are so great and superior to women like what alexialin posted on page one.

1 Like

Re: Does The Wife Earn The Position Of Head Of The House If She's The Breadwinner? by badoh(m): 6:24am On Oct 11, 2017
When both of you are in sleeping position, ordinarily, who's always on top? That should answer the question. �

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