Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,150,831 members, 7,810,200 topics. Date: Friday, 26 April 2024 at 11:16 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage (10807 Views)
Etisalat Sales Girl Has Put My Relationship in Trouble / In Need Of Guy For A Serious Relationship In Benin / 10 To-dos For A Healthy Relationship In 2013 (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by H2O2: 11:01pm On Mar 13, 2010 |
okay thank God. I read out of place since I was skeeming. Bawomolo is a special case so don't pay him much mind. The guy is a rebel. |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Nobody: 11:08pm On Mar 13, 2010 |
Ask him when he plans to settle down with you, come to some sort of agreement, if you're not satisfied, I suggest you find somebody else, regardless of his 'decency' and 'understanding'. 8 years son. |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by grabdbull: 11:09pm On Mar 13, 2010 |
Most guys are not scared of commitment. Most just find it painful spending hard-earned money (probably slaved for over several years) on one ceremony where you probably would not see 90% of the guests ever in your life again. If a guy is made to see himself working with his fiancee as partners realistically saving towards what they both want, he would be more comfortable committing to marriage. On the other hand, if he sees the fiancee as a desperate pestering being, it just won't fly. |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by H2O2: 11:18pm On Mar 13, 2010 |
^i can't disagree with you at all. |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by beecrofty(m): 11:33pm On Mar 13, 2010 |
drsly: what is this |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Amigoz(f): 11:48pm On Mar 13, 2010 |
wow!! @ ibejiibeji imagine ow many ibeji's u would have had in the 8years |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Nobody: 11:52pm On Mar 13, 2010 |
someone made a valid point: if a man has been sponsoring his gf's education, helping her family and what not. . . . . . paying for EVERYTHING all these yrs then he has the right to ask for any new suitor to "settle him" LOL!!!!! we all know and hear how most of them 9ja gals are quick to ask for financial help, can you imagine how many times this guy must have fork out in 8yrs?! maybe thats one reason why he aint got nothing left for marriage! this whole thread is very enlightening to me, to say the least. i am reading again and again and again Ayettimama's statement about unwed mother/children living in unwed union/acceptance in society etc and i am really surprised that some people still think like her (others even stood by her comments!!!!) . i guess we come from different worlds and therefore i cannot judge her for thinking the way she does. this is the reality of NL, we all give advices on certain subjects and on how we would solve any given problem while we are completely different from one another. there is a LOOOOOOOOOOONG way to go for this society to act right, and also, people going along/following or accepting these "way of life" certainly dont help making this world a better place. |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by KennyG6(m): 11:53pm On Mar 13, 2010 |
@Poster The guy has sapped all your juice ooo aha 8 yrs lohun lohun, better get a committment from hin now or bail out kia kia |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by bawomolo(m): 1:18am On Mar 14, 2010 |
MsTom: you didn't answer the question though, how is marriage a commitment in a country where i can easily amass multiple wives? isn't sticking with a woman for 8 years a sign of commitment? why do i have to "put a ring on it" before she thinks i'm committed. i doubt any guy would spend 8yrs with a woman just for the fun of it. i have a feeling this chick wants to get married because of societal pressure and all her friends are getting married too. 27 isn't too old by the way so all that biological clock talk is bullshittt. women have kids into their late 30's and early 40's so getting married because your biological clock is ticking is a dumb move. h202 - u no well, na your area father be rebel? |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by latepa(m): 1:41am On Mar 14, 2010 |
You can still wait a little longer like, 18 years |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Outstrip(f): 2:25am On Mar 14, 2010 |
What does the guy will have to settle him mean. Why are you even asking. 1 year is enough for a man to know if will marry a woman. You know what you need to do |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by ayettymama(f): 2:35am On Mar 14, 2010 |
Mr brown jay times have changed classes have remained the same you wont see my views because we are two different subsets of people whilst u might consider it normal to carry a woman arnd for yrs as your 'girlfriend' the subset i in particular belong to wouldnt- its very simple I wouldnt find any pride in bein paraded arnd for yrs as a live in partner i'd rather parade myself abt alone! I still maintain- there are schools u cant get into if your not from a well known and respected family i should no- i fought hard to get into them!- but im sure u've neva heard of em- and probably would neva be bothered ill end that with sayin- society is different from society- some ride on a horse some on a camel- thats the cycle of life! |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by bawomolo(m): 2:41am On Mar 14, 2010 |
Outstrip: i thought people develop at difference paces. why the time limit? |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Outstrip(f): 2:57am On Mar 14, 2010 |
bawomolo: 8 years is a lot of time. I am not saying they have to get married within a year but they should know where they are going especially when we are talking to people in their late 20s to early 30s. She needs to value herself enough to move on |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by bawomolo(m): 3:04am On Mar 14, 2010 |
Outstrip: i agree, they should have talked about this a long time ago |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Girl846(f): 3:12am On Mar 14, 2010 |
@MRbrownJay I honestly wonder what your issue with marriage is? Putting religion aside (which should be the most important factor), No amount of 'westernization' will change the fact that marriage is an honorable thing to do. There is nothing 'backward' about regarding marriage as a vital step to be considered in a serious matured relationship. Why do you find it so hard to accept this fact? I lived in Nigeria for only 12years and now i've been abroad for quite a while. Trust me, even my promiscuous (non-Nigerian) colleagues long to become the wives of somebody one day. The ones that cohabitate are only doing so as a precursor to marriage. I guess due to gender differences you will never understand the stigma females get for some things that their male counter parts will never experience for the exact same thing. |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by baccady2(f): 3:17am On Mar 14, 2010 |
My dear, life is too short. If you r meant to be it would have happened a long time ago. Talking from experience i dated some1 for 7 marriage lasted for 3yrs in other words if u r still dating all this while, it may never happen and if it does, it was forced on d guy and thats no marriage. when a man sees his wife he doesn't waste time courting her, he would wanna legalise the whole thing. Girl do not be insecure do the right thing. |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by ayettymama(f): 3:29am On Mar 14, 2010 |
^^ thats soo tru! |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Nobody: 5:36am On Mar 14, 2010 |
Just Wait 59 more years and you could beat the current world record of the longest engagement ever. |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by member479760: 5:51am On Mar 14, 2010 |
This is a lesson to all, act quickly but carefully. |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by TewMuch: 6:20am On Mar 14, 2010 |
@ Poster You are definitely one of the Naija chicks that believes in marrying the first person you are with . If only we all could. My dear, from the age of 19? what were you thinking? do you know how much out of life you have missed out on being in a silly relationship from 19? . I believe in the Maximum of 2 year relationships. And if it is not going anywhere i check out. DOnt mind the people saying you are young or marriage is just a contract or paper, they are old frustrated hags. . We all know what we want out of life. There are good men out there willing to be with you and marry you. Take all your failures in this relationship, and learn lessons on what not to do in your next. Please 2 years in a relationship is enough of our life to give not to talk of 8 . The man is MAD, what has he taken from you? YOUR LIFE!!! |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by bawomolo(m): 7:48am On Mar 14, 2010 |
lol@old frustrated hags, i don suffer. anyway go ahead and marry the next sucker that proposes to you in 1year. |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Nobody: 7:51am On Mar 14, 2010 |
bawomolo:Be-warned . . . . I can see the future. You're one of them suckers. . . . Predicting your reply: No, I am neither old or frustrated, or even a hag |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Nobody: 8:12am On Mar 14, 2010 |
ayettymama: dont misunderstand what i wrote, if the gal is THE ONE then by all means marry her but if she aint, a man shouldnt be forced into marrying her because of job, club membership,religion or what not! if you think that there is a timetable on which to say that by "X months of dating" a man should either marry or leave a girl then you better think again. some people open up very easily and are read like a book while others aint and it takes time to discover the real person (not the fake one that she pretendsto be). although 8yrs is a long time, there are extreme cases out there. . . . . . . . . . . women with whom it just doesnt feel right YET, women that you have to discover "a little bit more". yes the guy can dump her and leave after all this time AND SO CAN SHE so this insecurity BS is unfounded (as if only men can break up relationships?!). i have no problem in understanding why you would prefer to marry someone after a few good dates(to each their own), the point that i dont quite understand is the one about how people where you live view unwed mother AND children from such mothers. believe me, where i come from if you go for a job interview, the last thing they worry about is if you are married or if you are a single mother. thats because most would hire you based on your qualifications and nothing else. as for joining whatever clubs you mentioned, i wouldnt want to be seen dead in a club that had problems with single people or their children. people like you make me understand why Nigeria is going backward instead of forward, makes me understand why people marry for the TITLE rather than for love. makes me understand how hypocrite that society is. listening to you, anyone should get married not because its the RIGHT thing to do and the RIGHT partner but rather because if you dont then you will be left out in this world. LMAO! hey, i guess everyone wants to get that "Ikoyi"club membership?! this is what my view of marriage is AND the only reason why i think people should get married: two people that LOVE each other, RESPECT and TRUST each other, that are ready to commit to one another and who want to start a family and also that knows and wants to spend the rest of their lives together and are READY financially, physically and mentally to do just that. everything has to be right, not 70% and "we will fix the rest later" but EVERYTHING. there should never be ANY OTHER REASON why people should decide to get married. not because of an unwanted pregnancy, not because of pressure for parents or society, not because of keeping up with the Jones etc etc etc and then you wonder why the "business" of marriage in 9ja is in the State that it is?! men and women who dont have a single inch of respect for the vows they took, Fukcing left,right and center and then going to church pretending to be holier than thou. there is nothing "honourable" in this and, to me, the honor is in accepting who you are and NOT getting married for that reason. |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Nobody: 8:32am On Mar 14, 2010 |
Girl846: i dont have anything against marriage, i have something against FORCED marriage for the sake of women's insecurities. also, longing for a spouse has never been the problem, people all over the world do it, the problem is marrying the first donkey just to satisfy needs other than LOVE, even Religion is not more important than LOVE, in marriage. . . . . . . because only LOVE will keep that man from disrespecting your union. we see these fakes by the millions every sunday going to church and then beating their wives up before going to s h a g their mistresses. remember there is absolutely NO honor in marrying a donkey just so that you can show your ring all over your office. read on NL about the lady who wanted to have an extravagant wedding that she couldnt afford just to look "successful" in the eyes of everybody. read about the lady whose husband has 10mistresses and treat her like dirt but yet, she is not willing to divorce (na HIV go divorce them if she doesnt open her eyes quickly!). read about men and women willing to marry the ugliest ducks out there just because "thats what everyone does and it shows that you are the man". if thats what YOU call honourable then let me be WITHOUT honor! |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by H2O2: 8:42am On Mar 14, 2010 |
For the sake of argument, IF I started dating a babe at age 15 do I have to get married to her by the time we're 23, just because it's been 8 yeras? |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Igwe9(m): 9:50am On Mar 14, 2010 |
H2O2:, why not? you'd be happy that you started early, hence you have to maintain the status quo. |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by ayettymama(f): 10:42am On Mar 14, 2010 |
MBJ you have just twisted everything i said nobody is saying she should force him to marry her i said she should leave him because he doesnt love her!! 8yrs or not every second with him is wasted no i will not marry to get ibto membership but i will never bear children illegaly my mom didnt do it, my aunts didnt do it my uncles wouldnt dare! im not gna start the trend and tell them times have changed!! dont twist wat im sayin- i dont expect a woman to get married for a place in society but a woman who respects her self wont sit in a mans house for 8 yrs without being honourd admist her family all the other points u made are issues i didnt raise |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by ebioloye1: 10:59am On Mar 14, 2010 |
pls let me tell you the truth there is no love in that relationship go out and look for some one else pls am avalaible pls thank you |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by Shanice111: 11:07am On Mar 14, 2010 |
As someone who recently had relationship issues that almost took us away from each other but was able to come back and is getting married let me say this " No one can give you a better advice than you, your family and good friends peopla who know you well. Most people will say leave your relationship but you have to be careful some people will give biased advice. 8 years no marriage yes you should be worried but talk to the guy. He may love you be committed but no marriage oriented so talk to him that you desire marriage if he truly loves you he will listen and you people will work something out! There are so many unhappy married couple ( read nairaland treads) and happy ones too my dear find what works for you. No one including you is perfect you may have started off the relationship on the wrong foot so your man is by no means evil, sit down and talk it over and if you are not satisfied then you move on. In relationships strategy is more important than the usual tacts! Good luck with the decision that YOU make. |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by oraclefemi(m): 11:28am On Mar 14, 2010 |
He is not done with you yet, wait a few more years and my first child will be asking you why is aunty still a spinster |
Re: Relationship In Its 8th Year But No Talk Of Marriage by ayettymama(f): 11:30am On Mar 14, 2010 |
^^ loooooooool no mind them ooo |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply)
Guys Share Some Of The Worst Things Ladies Have Done To You. / Can Prostitution Ever Be Justified? / I Get Wet & Arouse Each Time Am Feeding My New Born Baby | Please Help
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 70 |