met Tim during my houseman ship program in a hospital in Ibadan a seven months ago. He and his team had come to the hospital to organize health talks for Women. After the meeting we exchanged details and started dating not too long after.

Tim is a really good man of about 34 years old. Two months into our dating,he proposed to me. I thought he was joking but I told him it was too soon. We agreed to give it some more time. Tim was married previously to a lady whom he said he divorced because she was incapable of taking care of him,their daughter and she was also having an affair. They were married for almost five years.

I met Tim’s cousin who came to visit one day. I asked the cousin about Tim’s ex wife and was told that the ex wife was such a bad woman that she an Tim fought virtually everyday in their marriage. Tim’s cousin said the ex wife also beat up Tim’s mother when she came to visit one Christmas period. This report of Tim and his wife fighting is making me nervous.I am wondering why Tim would be fighting with a woman. I am wondering if he would also be the same with me if we get married. From his cousin also,I learnt that Tim’s daughter died one day as him and his ex wife fought. They had fought so hard that there were broken bottle around. It happened that in the heat of the fight,the child who was in the way of the fight fell on her neck on among the broken bottles. That was the last straw that broke the camel’s back and led to their separation.

The second thing that is of great concern for me is that Tim’s parents are also divirced. Tim has never said anything about his parents divorce. But he took me to meet his mother two months ago and when I asked about his dad,Tim said he does not live with them. I had to meet the dad a few weeks later in another part of the town in his apartment. I wanted to ask Tim why his parents are living apart but I decided to allow him tell me himself so it would not appear that I am being too nosy. So far,Tim has not brought up the subject.

Lastly,I see that Tim is extremely close to his mother. They appear to me too close for comfort. I don’t know but I suspect that may have contributed to Tim’s ex wife behavior and eventually the breakdown of their marriage.

Tim has been nothing but kind and warm and nice to me. However,seven months into dating,I am scared that he is yet to discuss the real issues with his former marriage. I am also scared of bringing up the concerns I have as I feel that he may accuse me of snooping around. I love Tim. He introduces me to everyone as his Fiancee. My friends think I am lucky to have found someone who loves me the way Tim does but I am worried that Tim may not be as perfect as he portrays.

How do I move forward with this? Kindly advice me,are my fears valid or Should I just forget about the things I have heard about Tim and observed about his parents and move on?

Help me please!

From Tamera,

Ibadan.


Source: http://livelystones.com.ng/his-ex-wife-and-ex-life/



Note: Tamera can only read your comments from the whatsapp group, FB or livelystones

u ar seeing d signs already, no responsible man wl engage in a fight wt a woman and no responsible woman wl fight her man. His ex wife mayb bad bt hm fighting her bak makes both of dem d same, I dnt see hm as a straight forward person, wen he introduced u 2 his parents, he supposed to hv told u y his parents ar divorced and also d efforts he had made in trying to bring dem 2geda(i.e,if he had even tried such). His mum cudnt keep her own marriage, now she hapens to b very close to her son, Wat advice cn she offer hm since she cudnt her own man, d signs ar very clear, if u luv ursef, run