R

Love her and continue the marriage haha


Rubbish question

Anything you do for that boy, do it from your heart because you love him. But don't think he will ever be your son.

As sad as it sounds, the mother is right. She can't just rename another man's child after you.. Is that even legal?

I hope in the coming years... DNA test will be cheaper

ray121:
I really care but as my lawyer said, u cant adopt a child when the father is not dead.Maybe coz the father family is a well known Nigeria this is why she chose to use the name i dont know coz the father is a younger brother of a current sitting governor of one of our states. And the guy never even accepted the baby from birth.

Why worry ursef? Here is the answer you seek. The Nigeria of today, who you knw matters. The name myt help the boy in future.

Nothing to stress about bro , you are the step dad and don’t worry about the name used to register the kid, just play your role.. good luck

ray121:
I really care but as my lawyer said, u cant adopt a child when the father is not dead.Maybe coz the father family is a well known Nigeria this is why she chose to use the name i dont know coz the father is a younger brother of a current sitting governor of one of our states. And the guy never even accepted the baby from birth.

Please tell me it's not evaritus sons.
That dog never stays at a place .

itiswellandwell:


Lol. You have gotten the answer yourself. Women are not contented. Not all women anyway. What she is trying to do is to buy the son glorious destiny down today by using the guys name because of the guys affluent family cos who knows the guy may come back to his senses and realize he has a child somewhere which the guy will easily claim and the son bearing the guy's surname makes it easy that the son is truly his. Finally, the son will be given a juicy political post and the money starts coming in and his mother starts enjoying. Your woman is selfish. She ought to have consulted you about the name thing since you are the one paying the money. The thing is that , are you even sure the son in question will help your children tomorrow incase such arises and he is in a better position to do so. All what your woman is doing is trying to reap the fruit of the son alone in future. Call a family meeting and let them know that you can't continue to shoulder the responsibility of the son if the name is not changed if that's what you really want. All the best.


Lalasticlala, kindly help op forward this to Frontpage. Thanks

You have played into the survival games of a single mother ..Single mothers will di anything unders the son to get a father figure and rood for their love child and they usually zoom into a kind unassuming man like you....enjoy

I know I should not have asked, if the boy is 2 n he is just starting school n u both have a daughter as well, then m lost, how long did u court, how much did u know of her b4 getting into the marriage or did u also clamp her because of her affluence, influence, connection or wealth cos logically it takes 9months to carry n bore a child - son is getting to 2 and u both already have a daughter as well...really hard for me to understand the story but I think u should listen to the guy who said u should hold a family meeting n make them understand that u can't continue to shoulder a responsibility that another man will just come n do like he is wearing "Ebukas agbada".
My 2 pence

ray121:
Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.

Of course, you are not the father of the boy and there is no way your wife would name the boy after you. The legitimate father and blood line of the boy's family can not be severed unless otherwise.


You do nothing bro but continue showing love to them both.

LadySarah:
the lady knows what she is doing ,the sad part is that you are being used.I doubt you are igbo though cos that boy should be answering your wife's maden surname not her babypapa .

You are right; can't be Igbo. He is yorubaa, nah them dey marry single mothers. An Igbo man rarely marries a single mother.

First she didn't tell you about the boy, next she names the boy by another man's name.

Bro, you need to start asking the right question(s), so you don't end up old and miserable, and pls in the name of heaven , take your daughter for a paternity test..

U make the decision itself joor

ray121:
Im really down and confused .just thought of coming on here today to free my mind.I was at least thinking shes gonna use her own dad name .I dont want to claim another mans son but for her using the guy name is really getting me worried.

It is best to use the name on the birth certificate to avoid issues in future. You are already a man by acceotinf to be the father figure. Continue along the line

Marriage issue hen, no b here o, y didn't she tell u initially before u get married to her, or do ur proper investigation may b with her friends.

Now everyone is facing the woman what about men that impregnate ladies what should the woman do to them It's a dog chop dog world

The child can't bear her father's name. Unless he denied the pregnancy and all fingers point that the boy is a bastardd.

For the sake of the child, the child needs to bear his father's name especially as he is a boy. His father's name is every part of his identity.
I can't even wrap my head around you having issues with the boy bearing his father's name. If you and your woman went your ways would you want her to revert your child's name to her father's?

Please stop acting insecure before you ruin your marriage.


Ray121

ray121:
Im really down and confused .just thought of coming on here today to free my mind.I was at least thinking shes gonna use her own dad name .I dont want to claim another mans son but for her using the guy name is really getting me worried.

She was supposed to use which name? Remember you said you don't want to claim another man's son

There is probability she will go back to the father of her son. Watch her next move.

ray121:
Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.

But you knew you has a son before you married her.

itiswellandwell:


Lol. You have gotten the answer yourself. Women are not contented. Not all women anyway. What she is trying to do is to buy the son glorious destiny down today by using the guys name because of the guys affluent family cos who knows the guy may come back to his senses and realize he has a child somewhere which the guy will easily claim and the son bearing the guy's surname makes it easy that the son is truly his. Finally, the son will be given a juicy political post and the money starts coming in and his mother starts enjoying. Your woman is selfish. She ought to have consulted you about the name thing since you are the one paying the money. The thing is that , are you even sure the son in question will help your children tomorrow incase such arises and he is in a better position to do so. All what your woman is doing is trying to reap the fruit of the son alone in future. Call a family meeting and let them know that you can't continue to shoulder the responsibility of the son if the name is not changed if that's what you really want. All the best.


Lalasticlala, kindly help op forward this to Frontpage. Thanks

Wise

ray121:
Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.

Have you suggested adoption? Do you want to legally adopt him?
It's her son, she can choose to do whatever she wishes.....
If you have forgiven the big lie she told you, put that behind...... You can choose to not have any financial direct involvement, with her son (till you legally adopt him)...

This kind of poster is not a man

Go and Hang yourself

ray121:
Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.

If you cannot articulate your questions clearly, then you don't deserve an answer. Please, rewrite your hot mess

.

ray121:
Im really down and confused .just thought of coming on here today to free my mind.I was at least thinking shes gonna use her own dad name .I dont want to claim another mans son but for her using the guy name is really getting me worried.

Oga u are just giving yourself headache and hypertension for nothing.i don't even see what the issue is here.
So u want her to register the child in your name or what? My brother it doesn't matter what name she uses. Free your mind

See OP, don't take any funny decision at all.. You' may not be his biological father but you're now his father by playing those fatherly roles.. The lad doesn't know anyone else aside you as his father and as for the name issue its nothing to worry about... The duty of the boy when he's of age is to take care of you as his biological father and if he doesn't.. He's already cursed without you saying anything.


#I can relate.

Was about to say the same thing you said but just realized that he can’t adopt him unless the real father gives up his rights to the boy ! The thing is the boy will always see him as the father if he raises him with love .

Evacroft:
If u care about ur wife and love the child as ur own tgen go ahead and tell her u want to adopt the boy ,so he can also bear ur name. Theres really no need training anoda mans child when he is alive and maybe able. Unless u dont care,but guess u do cos it realky disturbing u.

This is just me, any man that marries a single mother has serious, very serious self esteem issues except you are doing it to gain something from her. One of the beauty of being a man is to raise your own blood, not another man's own except you can't have kids of your own and adopting. I doubt she will respect you because she knows you are not a real man...another man's child running up and down your roof and answering another man's name? WTF? You can't be Igbo; Igbo men cannot tolerate this nonsense; fear won't allow her try it.

"is this really true love or i'm fooling myself?"






Says it all.