NLmember:
Of course na. Women are created to be helpers to men while men can choose whether or not they want to help their wives.
mtscheew

There is nothing you will tell a Nigerian man that will make him agree to enter kitchen and cook for the family even if it's just two days a week while the wife just sits down relaxing. They will tell you they can only do it if she's sick or too tired. But if a woman ventures to open her mouth and say she will only bring money when husband is sick all hell will break loose.

Both of them have stressful jobs o, they come back in the evening tired and worn out but the wife must run after kids to organize them, clean house up and then cook food and come and present to oga while he is watching TV in parlor.

Even if he decides to help her once in a while he will do it with the mind that he's doing her a big favor and will tell himself it's not his full time responsibility.
But the wife must bring from her money.
It's her responsibility and she is obligated to do so.

queenfav:
It will.. Right now sef we have a lot of financial projects. I have offered him money, he told me, "Honey, keep your money for your business.I can only take from you as a loan when it's very necessary".
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When he does needs my money at some point in time, I am so willing to assist..He has invested financially in me and my business, so i can't say no to him. What i have a problem with is husbands who can afford to care for the family alone, but purposely involve their wives because she has too much money. If he is down and can't do pay the bills.. That's a different scenario, the wifey ought to carry the home for a while.
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You won't get it sha, It's sweet when a woman knows her man can take care of her needs!No matter how rich a woman is, she still feels loved and pampered knowing her man is a provider. That's what makes a man get respect in his home o. Don't be deceived at all. I am not a feminist so i don't believe in gender equality.How else can a man show his Lordship over his woman? When u can't even pay rent for the house you married her into by yourself?
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If a man can afford to,he shouldn't place financial burdens on his woman.Let her offer to help instead,than him imposing it. Women don't like men that are always running to them for assistance or relying on their money (especially if she was already rich before you married her). When she sees that u hv done your best, but can't foot some bills. A good woman will naturally step in to help. Also, when a man loses his job or sth, that's a good time for his wife to step in till things improve.. Asides that, a man should be able to substantially care for his family pls! Even the Bible says "A man that cannot provide for his household is worse than an infidel". - 1st Timothy 5:8

Elder001:


are men still marrying broke women these days?

@bolded.. really? .65% or more of American men share bills with their wives and their wives stll respect them.. even the us celebrities many of them share bills with their wives.

You literally mean the man should bear the financial burden while the woman does what?. This is the 3rd year in my marriage and I'm sharing bills and house chores with my queen and we're cool.

By all standards I don't think I'm a middle class, I'm way higher than that. Even if I'm a billionaire I'll still continue to share bills with my wife.

It's funny you thought only broke men share bills with their wives. My dad never shared bills but my uncles do and some are even richer than my dad.

queenfav:
you are right oga. Am married now and believe me, i can't just sit and watch Oga pick up all d bills. Wetin i deg use my money do na? Most times i just get or pay for things without disturbing him. That's the fastest way the major projects at hand can be achieved within a short time.

Elder001:


Thumbs up dear.
One thing I fault among my fellow men is "hypocrisy and say abuse of patriarchal privileges". Just some days ago and a fellow man who came visiting saw me sweeping the home (that was on Sunday) ,to make things worse when my queen came back from church she asked me if I've prepared food and I answered yes.
My friend Emma started calling me all sorts of name to the point of insulting me.

He was saying "this leg when you dor give this woman so" and I told him that this is a civilized world that my wife isn't a slave.
He then told me that only a foolish man will cook, wash plates or clean the home when he has a few wife.. my wife was even hearing what he was saying but he didn't care.

I then asked him if his wife is contributing to the upkeep of their family because his wife is a working class, Emma told me that yes his wife must contribute! but he can't cook or wash plates for her. you see what I'm talking about? he started asking me stupid questions .
Instead of quarrelling I kindly told him to quit the talk but he refused an instead went outside angrily and drove off.

queenfav:
lol.. No two marriages are alike.. Pls stay away from friends like that and keep being the man you are. Na those kain men dey scatter their friends marriages. Marriage is a partnership. When oga was in town, if am making soup for d week. He makes d stew. He does house chores and doesn't see it as a big deal. Leave that man to practice all that in his own home.

Elder001:

Thanks for the advice. . wish you a happy home

Maser:
Someone should remind us again about the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31:10-31. Wasn't she the one financing the home and doing all the chores?

Women these days want to be branded "virtuous" but shy away from inherent responsibilities.

This is a generation where social media is teaching people how to run marriages and every idiot becomes a marriage counsellor. Whoever, between the man and the woman that God has blessed with finances should bring the money to run the home without complaints.

Don't know how long that nigga has been in the business to be talking trash.

NoToPile:
Lool Nigerian guys sha.

Do it the traditional way and be the full provider, no oo she must contribute

Since she's now contributing and you both come home late kindly help her with some chores no ooo how can I demean myself to chores. You can't help with chores which you feel is her traditional responsibility but she can help with finances which is your traditional responsibility.

Issorait

bukatyne:


What is the use of the husband if the wife does all the chores and pays the bills?

Flip it around and imagine you have to take care of the home domestically in addition to paying the bills. ..

What would you need a wife for?

queenfav:
uwc oga.

Elder001:


You're a lawyer, right?

Can I ask you a question?

queenfav:
Not a practicing lawyer anymore, but do go on with the question.

princeade86:
and that ur wife can't cook for u or do other house core. u will still employ housemaid for her to do all dis. then tell us her usefulness. to just Bleep?

Elder001:


Okay dear.

Well.. let's get on

A man did registry marriage (statutory) with his wife about 20years ago. Now the man is about to file for divorce.

What I want to ask is; I hope they won't share properties?

The man is the owner of the house they're living in.. he owns almost all the properties in the house.

He has two cars and the woman also have her own car.

So in the case of a divorce, I hope the woman will leave with only her car and other stuffs she acquired during the marriage and things she brought into marriage?

queenfav:
Lol.. Nigerian men!Well,the issue of sharing properties cannot come in except the wife claims that as a relief in her Answer to the petition for dissolution of marriage. Come on, settlement of property and maintenance is an ancillary relief which your friend owes his wife if we want to be just here.
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He is the one filing for divorce, she has given him 20 years of her life. She may even throw in how she supported him (even if it's not financial support ). He can't leave her now with an uncertain financial future, after she spent two decades building his.
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If she claims for settlement of properties in the marriage, the judge usually would look at the circumstances of the case and facts supplied to reach a decision on what to give her.
Judges have a wide discretionary power to settle matrimonial properties as it deems just to do so.
God help the man if the case is heard by a divorced female judge. Lol..

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My free legal advice (that i should have charged 10k for) is as follows -
The man should set up a meeting with his estranged wife and her lawyer in a legal setting where the issues can be discussed. That's proper procedure. If she doesn't want to see him, he can get his lawyer to write a letter requesting her attendance at the meeting.

The essence of meeting with her and maybe her lawyer is to discuss what she would be claiming. Would she be asking for maintenance or settlement fee of 500k monthly? Would she be asking for a house?That way an agreement can be reached before the divorce proceedings commences in court.
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I have handled a divorce where the women only asked that the children's upkeep to be taken care of and a payment pattern was agreed upon. They told me they don't need the man's money, hence wd didn't claim for maintenance. The court won't give her what she didn't ask for, so your friend has to know what she would be claiming and prepare his case bearing that in mind.
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In the end, the judge has a discretion to award reliefs sought by parties in a divorce proceeding, according to the facts and circumstances of the case at hand.
.If she specifically asks that she shares in the matrimonial properties, and the facts and circumstances of the case makes it justifiable that she does deserves a share, the court will order that.
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The court can order settlement of properties owned by them jointly or individually, it all boils down to what would be just and equitable for the children of the marriage and parties involved. Let him prepare his mind in that direction. Who owns what or what anyone brought into the marriage doesn't really matter
because of the judge's discretion.
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. The court can order settlement ie share any property belonging to any of the parties. The court usually considers the financial standing of the parties, their responsibilities going forward and the general facts/circumstances of the case.
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Marriage is a partnership. Even when business partnerships end, nobody leaves empty handed except the ones that specifically didn't ask for anything and would not want anything to be given to them. It all boils down to what transpired between the man and his wife , the financial standing of both parties, children of the marriage and most importantly, the reliefs they seek from the court in the petition, cross petition or answer.

Elder001:



I don't know what to say after reading this stuff..
So my wife was deceiving me back then that you only go out with what you brought in.


I keep thanking God I didn't do statutory registry marriage, any woman who ask for statutory shouldn't be trusted.

Now back to the casecase

are you trying to tell me that the man can't file for divorce without paying for maintainance, reliefs and whatever?

what if it was the woman that filled for divorce? will she also support him with reliefs?

See, they don't have kids together.

The man was the one who used connection to get a job for her and he's been the one moving the home forward over the years.

[b] You just said that the man should ask her what amount she'll need monthly?
Dear, I'm really confused here.

Why should my relative pay his wife monthly when they don't even have kids together?

He's tired of the marriage.

I can assure you that the woman in no way contributed to his financial success ,rather it was the man who made her financially successful.

What the hell was this man was thinking when he went for statutory registry marriage instead of normal customary marriage. This is very bad.

Elder001:


Thumbs up dear.
One thing I fault among my fellow men is "hypocrisy and say abuse of patriarchal privileges". Just some days ago and a fellow man who came visiting saw me sweeping the home (that was on Sunday) ,to make things worse when my queen came back from church she asked me if I've prepared food and I answered yes.
My friend Emma started calling me all sorts of name to the point of insulting

He was saying "this leg when you dor give this woman so" and I told him that this is a civilized world that my wife isn't a slave.
He then told me that only a foolish man will cook, wash plates or clean the home when he has a few wife.. my wife was even hearing what he was saying but he didn't care.

I then asked him if his wife is contributing to the upkeep of their family because his wife is a working class, Emma told me that yes his wife must contribute! but he can't cook or wash plates for her. you see what I'm talking about? he started asking me stupid questions .
Instead of quarrelling I kindly told him to quit the talk but he refused an instead went outside angrily and drove off.

queenfav:
Lol.. U know what bros ,find time to give me a call.Am very busy at my shop, can't type much. Ur brother will pay consultation fee cos i still have to recover my law school fees..

Evacroft:


U are a good man kudos to ur mum,she did right by you. Sometimes i dont blame men who dont help cos they grew up in an environment where its not practiced ,mostly within the family circle( parent) but for u to come into another man's house and try to run it ,is just utterly rude. It is this kind of men that makes their friends ashamed of helping their wives.

Okay dear.

Well.. let's get on

A man did registry marriage (statutory) with his wife about 20years ago. Now the man is about to file for divorce.

What I want to ask is; I hope they won't share properties?

The man is the owner of the house they're living in.. he owns almost all the properties in the house.

He has two cars and the woman also have her own car.

So in the case of a divorce, I hope the woman will leave with only her car and other stuffs she acquired during the marriage and things she brought into marriage?

queenfav:
Lol.. Nigerian men!Well,the issue of sharing properties cannot come in except the wife claims that as a relief in her Answer to the petition for dissolution of marriage. Come on, settlement of property and maintenance is an ancillary relief which your friend owes his wife if we want to be just here.
.
He is the one filing for divorce, she has given him 20 years of her life. She may even throw in how she supported him (even if it's not financial support ). He can't leave her now with an uncertain financial future, after she spent two decades building his.
.
If she claims for settlement of properties in the marriage, the judge usually would look at the circumstances of the case and facts supplied to reach a decision on what to give her.
Judges have a wide discretionary power to settle matrimonial properties as it deems just to do so.
God help the man if the case is heard by a divorced female judge. Lol..

.
My free legal advice (that i should have charged 10k for) is as follows -
The man should set up a meeting with his estranged wife and her lawyer in a legal setting where the issues can be discussed. That's proper procedure. If she doesn't want to see him, he can get his lawyer to write a letter requesting her attendance at the meeting.

The essence of meeting with her and maybe her lawyer is to discuss what she would be claiming. Would she be asking for maintenance or settlement fee of 500k monthly? Would she be asking for a house?That way an agreement can be reached before the divorce proceedings commences in court.
.
I have handled a divorce where the women only asked that the children's upkeep to be taken care of and a payment pattern was agreed upon. They told me they don't need the man's money, hence wd didn't claim for maintenance. The court won't give her what she didn't ask for, so your friend has to know what she would be claiming and prepare his case bearing that in mind.
.
In the end, the judge has a discretion to award reliefs sought by parties in a divorce proceeding, according to the facts and circumstances of the case at hand.
.If she specifically asks that she shares in the matrimonial properties, and the facts and circumstances of the case makes it justifiable that she does deserves a share, the court will order that.
.
The court can order settlement of properties owned by them jointly or individually, it all boils down to what would be just and equitable for the children of the marriage and parties involved. Let him prepare his mind in that direction. Who owns what or what anyone brought into the marriage doesn't really matter
because of the judge's discretion.
.
. The court can order settlement ie share any property belonging to any of the parties. The court usually considers the financial standing of the parties, their responsibilities going forward and the general facts/circumstances of the case.
.
Marriage is a partnership. Even when business partnerships end, nobody leaves empty handed except the ones that specifically didn't ask for anything and would not want anything to be given to them. It all boils down to what transpired between the man and his wife , the financial standing of both parties, children of the marriage and most importantly, the reliefs they seek from the court in the petition, cross petition or answer.