Then there's also my hor[i]n[/i]y cute neighbor, i'm sure was like 13-14 yrs older then me(cuz i was just 8 then), she would sneak me by bribing me wit candy (boy was she good at that)
She would UnCloth me and use just 2 fingers to prep my weenie till it was well u know, this went on for sometime UNTIL i couldn't take it no more. . .I told my brov and we cooked up the stupidest idea EVER!

We rubbed hot ointment all over my weenie and maynne was i all fired up down there. Well she invited me in and prepped me for a round of intimacy, when my weenie went in (i was smiling at her cuz i knew what was going to happen), after a few strokes, she started saying "Ye kini mi,o dunmi. . Ataa ye"

Boy was i laughing hard inside, she was sore for days and that sorta signaled the end of my molestation.

Eight year old having intimacy . Allahu akhbar . Anyway looks like you turned out ok . It certainly WAS crazy putting hot ointment on your willy though!

Menn, i have series of stories to tell everyone, but i have enjoyed most of the stories shared so far

Maedan,

I was sexually molested?  

Mhen this tread is so funny, cos when i looked back at all the crazy things i did when i was a kid, i can only thank God that i'm still alive till today.

1. when i was in the Nursery sch, there was this girl in my compound that we go to sch together. one day she aksed me to steal one of the student food money for her and i did. she kept the coin in her pant. just before break time, the girl started looking for her money and the teacher was alerted, she checked every body's pocket but did no see it and decided to check every student pant and found it in the girl's pant. Who confess that i was the one that stole it for her. I as placed on a stool in the front of all the pupils and given the beaten of my life. when i got home and pulled my cloths my mother saw the mark and asked wat has happend i told her the teacher beat me, she was very furious and followed me to sch the next day. the teacher told her every thing that has happend and i was given round two of the beating.

2. while in primary sch there was this boy in my class that have apple tree in their compound. he usually broght some to sch but we were not satisfied and decided to follow him to their house to pluck the Apple. when we got there we all climb the tree and started plucking unfortunately their landlord who happen to be the owner of the apple came out and saw us on the tree. immediately, i jumped down and ran away without my sch bag. The man caught all the other boys and gave the the beating of their life.
When they ere released, i waited for them at the bustop and was laughing at them (not knowing that my own will be the worse). when they came and told me that the man has taken my bag and promised to bring to bring it to sch the next day, i tought it was a joke i checked all their bag but did not see it. i decided to go back for my own share of the cane but unfortunately, the man has gone to church cos he was a Jehova Witness.
When i got home i was able to hide it from my mum. But the next day i decided not to go to sch cos i know wat i will face at sch but my mum forced me to go. so i went to sch on getting there, while on the assembly ground the man came to sch with my bag and narated the story to the head mistress, infact i will neva forget wat happen dat day cos all most three teachers KOBOKOLISED me.

3. while i JSS class i almost lost my life. My sch was one of the local sch with so many holse on the fence we can easily run home through one of the holes in the fence. so one day as usual, me and three of my friends left the sch and went hunting for Rabits cos our school was close to the farm settlement were they have different vegetable farm. on gething to the farm we started hitting the bush with sticks so that the rat could run out and we can make a chase. in the process i saw one big hole, i taught it was one of the hole you can easily jumped into and jump out. so i was planning to jump into it and jump out as usual but luckily for me, one of my friend alerted us of a rabit so we decided to chase the rabit. i later came back to the hole and discovered it was a very DEEP WELL used by the farmers to water their vegetable. immediately i ran home and  i was shaking cos it was a narrow escape.

nice thread . .


Me and my pack of friends always got kicks out of setting off banger and

throwing it at cars or innocent people walking down the street during xmas time.

One time i threw a banger under a car and as the banger went off the boot of the car caught fire. 

I ran for dear life that day else i might have been lynched

ROTFLMAO!

I don't know . . my childhood is quiet hazy!

You guys should all imagine a house with all boys would look like.

Who talk say facebook sweet pass nairaland? Wonderful stories.
Here are some of mine:

Story 1:my age:8-9.
There was this girl called lati who was like 5 years older than me and my peers. She always demanded us to call her aunty lati but i hated that aunty thing(took a lot of floggin before i learnt to call my sister with the prefix despite being 10yrs older than i am, so who is lati?   ). Unfortunately for lati, everyone knew her as lati oloju nla(big-eyed lati) but few dared call her that. I chopped liver one day and called her oloju nla and ran. she kept chasing me. i got cornered sha, with just a few feet between us, she picked up a fairly good stone, hurled it at me, i dodged it and kasala bursted. the stone killed all the louvres of one baba yemi(a friend's parent that everyone feared, the man na psycho and will beat any kid for even being a kid). When baba yemi came back in the evening.

Baba yemi: ta lo fo glass yara mi (who smashed my room's louvres)?
Me: aunty lati ni o(it's aunty lati o)
Baba yemi: lati, ngbo? kilode(lati, did you? why?)
Lati: mo so okuta fun, o wa yeee(i stoned him and he dodged it)
Baba yemi: iwo naa se ma yee, se o o mo pe glass wan ju plaster lo ni?(why did u dodge it?dont u know plasters are cheaper than louvres)
Classic injustice: i was made to apologise for not getting my head popped with a stone.


Story 2:
I skipped after-school lesson(which also took place in th school too 2pm-4pm). Got home, the whole area was quiet except for one jobless area gossip woman who asked what happend and i told her one of our teachers died   . she said "ok oo". Like a classic gossip, she stylishly mentioned it to my mum when she came back but my mum na natural skeptic and she said she will follow me to school tomorrow.(like she said, not to disprove my story o but to give her condolence in person). The next day, i woke up with a "planned fever", i was threatened with injections which i feared more than guns so i "sickenly" got up and we went to school with my mum in her VW beetle. When my story fell, my mum returned home calmly smiling(hu-la-la).
a. the teacher i claimed died made my "bart simpson" in a 60leaves notebook writing "my teacher will never die in jesus name. after a week of ceaseless writing, i got some lashing with a fan belt(unfortunately, my primary school was army command).
b. my mum's treatment was. . .i cant describe. i sha know that i stopped being stubborn in primary 3.

agba, wa bura to oo ba sere o, abi e tin gbagbe?

v3:

Maedan,

I was sexually molested?  

I know dear but when I think of the age, I wonder what a girl in her twenties will be doing with such a small child . Though ur kind of thing is common cos I have friends who have told me of having been molested at tender ages by housemaids, female neighbors,cousins, etc. Like I said though, you seem to have overcome the "ordeal" .

Well a couple years on, i saw her somewhere around Ajah area were i reside and when she recognized me, she asked if i was single n all

One thought kept poking my brain "Why on earth have they NOT legalized the use of guns by civilians?"

v3:

Well a couple years on, i saw her somewhere around Ajah area were i reside and when she recognized me, she asked if i was single n all

One thought kept poking my brain "Why on earth have they NOT legalized the use of guns by civilians?"

Lol, I take it is was far from a nice experience then . But seriously child abuse is bad, whether woman-to- boy, man-to-girl, or man-to-boy or even woman-to-girl . Anyway one of my friends told me, he was about your age I guess, the housegirl told him to help her pack in the clothes, he had the clothes piled in his hands, got into the room and she just grabbed him with the clothes and all. She buried the poor boy's face in her breas.ts and he almost choked with all the clothes and breas.ts . More must have happened but I can't remember what occurred next. But for some years the guy said he hated girls with big breas.ts after that .

Pleasant? Naaa

There were times i would beg, cry that my weenie hurt. . .but she way way in cloud 9 she couldn't stop. Twas one terrible experience that lingered for a long time.

v3:

Pleasant? Naaa

There were times i would beg, cry that my weenie hurt. . .but she way way in cloud 9 she couldn't stop. Twas one terrible experience that lingered for a long time.

Lol@ cloud 9, what are you feeling like . But sorry about that sha, never knew boys would ever complain of undue attention from a female. But of course you were just a child, so it was a negative experience.

Nice thread! I'm trying to remember some of my childhood escapades!
BRB

@ V3

Mine was terrible with one aunty like that when i was young, anytime this aunt finish cooking (pounded yam) she will call me and we will eat together, after that she will take me to her room and start romancing me on the bed while my mum is in the other flat, i dont really know what was going on then cause i was very young but later when i grew up i always remember.

Trust me , i knew back then that this aunt has boy friend that used to come to see her but this aunt will not just stop doing that to me. There are this twins gurls, we used to be friend till today, i remember back then when this particular aunty will put them on each other to be romancing each other while she continue romancing me.

This life sha, na wah o    

Feeling like? Well yea, at least a weenie sized kini made her feel like she was on some ecstacy pill. M not proud of that though  
It did serve as an eye-opener for what was to come, i became more of a girl teaser with alot of swag to it (SWAGz wasn't the word in those days cuz we used to run around in panties)

v3:

Pleasant? Naaa  

There were times i would beg, cry that my weenie hurt. . .but she way way in cloud 9 she couldn't stop. Twas one terrible experience that lingered for a long time.

an 8/6 years old Winnie making a woman climb to cloud 9? how possible is that? you must be another young Rambo in action.

am finding the story a little hard to believe

candylips:

am finding the story a little hard to believe

Mine is real o, pls believe me, i still know her name till today, she is married now.

It did knock me off balance for someetime, s3[i]x[/i] was s'pose to be enjoyed u know,MY VERY FIRST SEX! (The thought of it   ). . .But anyways it did serve as a lead for what was to follow.

@honeric
Brov,was literally speaking. . at least i could hear her talking crap,moaning in esoteric tongues & at such a young age, that coulda meant "maybe" she came?

v3:

Feeling like? Well yea, at least a weenie sized kini made her feel like she was on some ecstacy pill. M not proud of that though  
It did serve as an eye-opener for what was to come, i became more of a girl teaser with alot of swag to it (SWAGz wasn't the word in those days cuz we used to run around in panties)

Lol, if you say itz so then it is so. Only these crazy women know what is going on in their depraved minds. I mean take a look at this:

skfa1:

@ V3

Mine was terrible with one aunty like that when i was young, anytime this aunt finish cooking (pounded yam) she will call me and we will eat together, after that she will take me to her room and start romancing me on the bed while my mum is in the other flat, i dont really know what was going on then cause i was very young but later when i grew up i always remember.

Trust me , i knew back then that this aunt has boy friend that used to come to see her but this aunt will not just stop doing that to me. There are this twins gurls, we used to be friend till today, i remember back then when this particular aunty will put them on each other to be romancing each other while she continue romancing me.

This life sha, na wah o    

That was a very terrible aunty .

I remember when i was a bit young (about 13yrs old then), went with neighborhood friends to odo moola (Aboru) to fetch some woods around that Abacha's kerosene's scarcity time, not that we needed the wood, i just wanted to go with the kids then. we ended up getting there but the rest wanted to swim in the river and that was my first time around a river with no swimming experience.

 I quietly sat on a nearby wood around the river, didn't know 2 of my neighbors already dove under the river, went over to my back, they had me pushed inside the river, i kept struggling to break loose from drowning, for where, they kept shoving me inside the water, anytime i try to shout "help", i ended up swallowing 25 keg of water, it got to a point, all i could say was "God, please have mercy on me, whatever sins i must have committed, please cleanse me from the sins and let me be allowed to enter the kingdom of heaven once i end up drowning".

 Luckily for me, i broke loose, ran like those cartoon character out of the river, i went so far from the river than i couldn't even hear any sound from the people i left at the river, come see my eyes sparkly red and my stomach looking like tafa balogun's own, that was the day i was determined to know hot to swim and it didn't take me long before i learnt how to swim.

I was the most liverless kid ever and mum always insisted on siesta after sch. I overcame my nerves one day and sneaked out with my step ones to go swim. I looked into the stream, saw the sand underneath, said to myself 'this na small thing nao' and dived right in! It took some farmers nearby to rescue me. My step sis backed me home. Till date, my mum never knew what caused my fever that day.I still cant swim and would never go near water for any reason whatsoever.

honeric01:

. . . . please cleanse me from the sins and let me be allowed to enter the kingdom of heaven once i end up drowning".

 Luckily for me, i broke loose, ran like those cartoon character out of the river, i went so far from the river than i couldn't even hear any sound from the people i left at the river, come see my eyes sparkly red and my stomach looking like tafa balogun's own, that was the day i was determined to know hot to swim and it didn't take me long before i learnt how to swim.

ROTFLMBO .
na only GOD save you that day .

Back then, we used to watch wrestling anytime it's 8pm, sometimes 6pm, everyone of my siblings (except the 1-3rd elder brothers) gave themselves a wrestler's name including me, our 4th born was Hulk Hogan, 5th was the referee, wouldn't join in the fight but loves watching us get beaten by the 4th son, 6th was New mascara, I was Terry gonny e.t.c.
 There was a day we all went in to fight the Death cage fight and before we started, the 5th bro told everyone that if we agree to fight that there was no going back, we all entered and our children room's door was locked from behind, he left with the key, o boy, come see beating, our 4th born beat hell out of all of us, we kept trying to hide under the bed, but he just wouldn't let us hide, anyone he caught, he would pound you like yam, raise you up, then do the back breaking for you. there was this time i tried to do some newly learnt skill on him, i was successful (guess the thing pained him), o boy, the bros just left the rest, called my 4th bro to open the door for the rest to go out and that he has found a match, HOLY COW, guys, make una come see wetin happen, he tucked my head between his kneels with my legs upside down, the guy sat on my head, all i could remember was that it took me 2 minutes before i could cry, my mouth was wide open, i couldn't cry, by the time i wailed, i ended up crying for 2 hours non stop and couldn't eat that night. (all these went on while both parents were out to work and we are only allowed to stay inside the flat and not go out until they return). even when my mom came back, i couldn't tell her, because if i dared, the rest of them would end up beating me up in rounds the next day.

Okay, remind me not to read this thread while I'm eating . Food almost came out of my nose just now from laughing . Lol @ your brother saying he had "found a match", and that it took you 2 minutes before you could actually start crying . I wonder if the kids of today have so much fun as we had?? But with all the video games, internet and cable of today, who needs to think up crazy stunts with their siblings??

maedan:


ROTFLMBO .
na only GOD save you that day  .

If not for God of Abraham, i for don dey sell roasted plantain to the likes of Idi-amin, Michael Jackson, Fella, Abacha e.t.c for hellfire now.


Another one, there was this old bachelor at my church that wanted to celebrate his birthday at one of the beaches in Lagos, brought a 22 seater bus, those who wanted to go boarded the bus, when we got to the beach, i was so happy due to the fact that it was my first time at the beach, the excitement got into me, i quickly jumped into the beach, i was there still forming Michael Phelps, not knowing a big wave was coming, o boy, see as i come dey drag with water, the wave covered me and all i could see was that i was getting farther from land, i started dragging with the water oo, i wish there was something to hold on to, alas, nothing to hold, yee, i said, not again, first was river, now the ocean, nah nah nah, i must not gree, i kept struggling until i was lucky enough to tug my toes and fingers into the soft sand underneath.
 By the time i got out of the water, my trouser was as heavy as someone who packed sands worth filling up a wheelbarrow, i didn't go near the beach again throughout our stay and was extremely quiet all through our stay.

honeric01:

If not for God of Abraham, i for don dey sell roasted plantain to the likes of Idi-amin, Michael Jackson, Fella, Abacha e.t.c for hellfire now.


. . . yee, i said, not again, first was river, now the ocean, nah nah nah, i must not gree, i kept struggling until i was lucky enough to tug my toes and fingers into the soft sand underneath.
 By the time i got out of the water, my trouser was as heavy as someone who packed sands worth filling up a wheelbarrow, i didn't go near the beach again throughout our stay and was extremely quiet all through our stay.

OMG, I really have to sign out before I kill myself with laughter. God has really been saving you for great and fortunate things .

maedan:



Okay, remind me not to read this thread while I'm eating . Food almost came out of my nose just now from laughing . Lol @ your brother saying he had "found a match", and that it took you 2 minutes before you could actually start crying . I wonder if the kids of today have so much fun as we had?? But with all the video games, internet and cable of today, who needs to think up crazy stunts with their siblings??

oh girl, you can imagine that, someone almost 8yrs older than i was then telling others that he had found a match, na die oo, that bros almost killed me, all i was just doing was to "die" on time so he would count to 3, but this bros no count oo, instead, he wanted to kill me totally.

Back in the days when i was in the children choir, everytime after school, my co-choir friends and i would go to the church premises to play with the pastor's daughters and other female children choir would come too, we'd end up playing police and thief, my friends and i would end up planning who to chase and who not to chase, there was this busty girl we all liked but the girl was so "stingy" with her booth that we planned we were going to make her the thief, she ended up being one of the thieves and we made ourselves the polices.
  As planned, one of us went on to chase her to our direction and the rest of us hid with our hands set to the position each person imagine her booth should be, at the end of the day, i was the lucky kid, she ran towards my direction and i ended up burgling into her with her booth right inside my waiting hands, my eyes were just too joyful that i fell on her, it took the rest to drag me off her because all i ended up doing was playing with the booth , the sharp girl, she didn't tell the rest nor the pastor's wife and i became friends with my palm for the rest of the day, didn't want to use the hands for anything dirty and had to use spoon to eat Eba that night.

honeric01:

oh girl, you can imagine that, someone almost 8yrs older than i was then telling others that he had found a match, na die oo, that bros almost killed me, all i was just doing was to "die" on time so he would count to 3, but this bros no count oo, instead, he wanted to kill me totally.

Lol, brothers are like the eighth wonder of the world. You sometimes ask why the term was created . By the time they are through with u (as kids), you wonder if you're truly related. As a child I could talk back a lot and would say something that would make my elder brother(s) see red . Oh boy, see thrashing, you'd think he was beating his mate. I think sometimes they forgot I wasn't a boy - but I was certainly beaten like one, so I know how you feel .