Honestly this thread is very funny, very interesting stories,  been laughing since I started reading.
My growing up was great, had a very jovial and understanding but very strict parents who will still whip you when you trespass while laughing and playing with you.  My mum was a  no go area for me because things usually didn't go down well between us, guess I liked my dad more than I did like her then.
I remembered growing up one day my dad traveled, I didn,t know because it was kind of an emergency business he had to take and i didn't know. I came back from school and my mum asked me to wash the dishes when we finish eating lunch, and because of it I didn't eat the lunch with them and was like  i have an aunty and an elder sister who does that why would she suddenly start asking me to wash the dishes. So she went to the market and told them not to do it , that i must do it (Notice, then, we  usually do not agree with each other, she calls me my dad's second wife). Anyways, I didn't do it and did not have lunch with them that day and went to our neighbours  apartment met the house help washing the dishes and had so many other things to do and felt pity for her and was helping her out when my mum came back sent for and when i  got to her and she asked why i didn't do the dishes my reply was that  am i was busy helping the our neighbours house help because she has so much to do and that we have so many people in the houst that can wash our dishes and besides my daddy does not know that she asked me to wash the dishes and i went on and on. boy before i could finish my mum just went out of the kitchen to her room to get the cain and before you know it i was in the visitors toilet, locked myself inside and decided to stay there until my father comes because i will be the first person he will ask after when he comes back but didn,t know he travelled. This happened on a friday and i spent the whole weekend in the toilet, by the second day, everyone in the house was including my mum was begging me to come out and i refused cause i was afraid my mum was still going to beat me and my dad wasn't around to stop and she was afraid that i hadn't eaten all through  not knowing that not knowing that my elder brother comes to tell me when she's out of the house and gives me biscuit to eat. though it was terrible but  i did because i hate being beaten especially by my mum. And when my dad came back on the monday morning and had what happened because he was the one that came to call me out that place, every single being in the house that day had it hot, it was really terrible and whenever i remember am always like what came over me.

maedan:

Lol, brothers are like the eighth wonder of the world. You sometimes ask why the term was created . By the time they are through with u (as kids), you wonder if you're truly related. As a child I could talk back a lot and would say something that would make my elder brother(s) see red . Oh boy, see thrashing, you'd think he was beating his mate. I think sometimes they forgot I wasn't a boy - but I was certainly beaten like one, so I know how you feel .

These are just few, i have alot, just can't type them all, not the beatings we got from our dad, not the biting, pinching and flogging we got from our mum, not the "okada" you have to ride for 4 hours as punishments for an offense, the list goes on.

what a flash back :list are endless
thanks

honeric01:

Menn, i have series of stories to tell everyone, but i have enjoyed most of the stories shared so far  

maedan:


Eight year old having intimacy . Allahu akhbar . Anyway looks like you turned out ok . It certainly WAS crazy putting hot ointment on your willy though!

EXACTLY!!!

honeric01:

Back then, we used to watch wrestling anytime it's 8pm, sometimes 6pm, everyone of my siblings (except the 1-3rd elder brothers) gave themselves a wrestler's name including me, our 4th born was Hulk Hogan, 5th was the referee, wouldn't join in the fight but loves watching us get beaten by the 4th son, 6th was New mascara, I was Terry gonny e.t.c.
There was a day we all went in to fight the Death cage fight and before we started, the 5th bro told everyone that if we agree to fight that there was no going back, we all entered and our children room's door was locked from behind, he left with the key, o boy, come see beating, our 4th born beat hell out of all of us, we kept trying to hide under the bed, but he just wouldn't let us hide, anyone he caught, he would pound you like yam, raise you up, then do the back breaking for you. there was this time i tried to do some newly learnt skill on him, i was successful (guess the thing pained him), o boy, the bros just left the rest, called my 4th bro to open the door for the rest to go out and that he has found a match, HOLY COW, guys, make una come see wetin happen, he tucked my head between his kneels with my legs upside down, the guy sat on my head, all i could remember was that it took me 2 minutes before i could cry, my mouth was wide open, i couldn't cry, but the time i wailed, i ended up crying for 2 hours non stop and couldn't eat that night. (all these went on while both parents were out to work and we are only allowed to stay inside the flat and not go out until they return). even when my mom came back, i couldn't tell her, because if i dared, the rest of them would end up beating me up in rounds the next day.

You no go kill me oh. Kai.

I had a brother who was like the bad guy of our area when we were kids. We did not have a lot of neighbors then. This new family moved in and because of my brother i had immunity to terrorise whoever i wanted to and get away with it. So i saw this boy playing with his bycycle, went to demand to have the bicycle, he refused , I slapped him not knowing that they were a family of four boys. Mehn, till today I dont know how am alive. They appeared from nowhere, see all the children in my area celebrating, the reign of terror ended

aisha2:

I had a brother who was like the bad guy of our area when we were kids. We did not have a lot of neighbors then. This new family moved in and because of my brother i had immunity to terrorise whoever i wanted to and get away with it. So i saw this boy playing with his bycycle, went to demand to have the bicycle, he refused , I slapped him not knowing that they were a family of four boys. Mehn, till today I dont know how am alive. They appeared from nowhere, see all the children in my area celebrating, the reign of terror ended

LMAO, terror gurl

see ehn , if i see you slap anybody for this NL, i go call those four boy come beat you , lol

Barrack Boys for that Matter oh

skfa1:

LMAO, terror gurl

see ehn , if i see you slap anybody for this NL, i go call those four boy come beat you , lol

aisha2:

I had a brother who was like the bad guy of our area when we were kids. We did not have a lot of neighbors then. This new family moved in and because of my brother i had immunity to terrorise whoever i wanted to and get away with it. So i saw this boy playing with his bycycle, went to demand to have the bicycle, he refused , I slapped him not knowing that they were a family of four boys. Mehn, till today I dont know how am alive. They appeared from nowhere, see all the children in my area celebrating, the reign of terror ended

, my family was a no go area for outsiders, o girl, my mom was/is the only female in my immediate family, all boys ([size=1pt]11 in number[/size]), but my parents kept trying their luck just to have a female child, but the pikin no gree come.

Honeric,

U don kill me

v3:

Honeric,

U don kill me

abeg, no die oo

honeric01:

, my family was a no go area for outsiders, o girl, my mom was/is the only female in my immediate family, all boys ([size=1pt]11 in number[/size]), but my parents kept trying to luck to have a female child, but she pikin no gree come.

I can imagine bros. Kai, i miss my childhood days.
One day i went to visit my school mother during the holidays. I had a cold and my mom gave me some drugs, I did not know the drugs will make me sleep. Mind you this was the first time of visiting the house. Na so i go oh, when i got there she was not around but her sister said i should wait for her, na so i siddon begin sleep, I sleep sotay they bring pillow, Imagine someone comes to your house for the first time and starts sleeping.
When i woke up and realised what had happened i ran out of their house and entered a taxi straight home, shame no gree let me go back there till today

When i was in primary school, Maryland Convent to be precise, there was a gambling house right opposite the school called ''amusement'' that an older cousin took me to once when he wanted to gamble a little. To cut a long story short, the bright lights and space age sounds thrilled the hell out of my kiddie mind. i got my hands on 30 kobo (yep it was in the eighties) a few days later and i sneaked over there because it was close to my house and tried my hands on the bingo machine.

The place was full of hard looking men but it didnt scare me off. On my first try i put the coin in, drew the handle and got 777. an avelanche of coins came pouring out of the machine and all the tough looking people in there eyed my booty like they were going to pounce on me. I think i got about 4 naira or something. I did it every day till my teacher saw me coming out of there one day and took my name and class. I got reported to my parents and got the flogging of my life. i wasnt allowed to go to school for a week and entertained my self with stealing my dad's air rifle to shoot bottles in the backyard till i got caught doing that too, but thats another story

Very funny thread . . .  

When i was in JSS1 we had this horrible art and craft class that i hated with a passion. Every week we had to mould something with clay or make a mat with cardboard or rafia palms. I would never do my assignment so every monday after at 2pm, i was lined up to face the wall and dilligently took my 4 strokes of the cane for not doing the assignment. since my name was number one on her attendance list (due to surname), everyone in the class new my monday punishment was certain.

One day after i had even begun to enjoy my weekly cane, the woman got so tired of seeing my face that she refused to flog me . . . she asked me to go report myself to the principal (my mum's friend) . . . see me see trouble. I nearly peed in my pants. The principal asked me to call my mom to the school and i agreed. For where! I never told my mom anything and of course the art and craft woman just left me alone.

A few weeks later i got a call in class that the principal wanted to see me ASAP, i got there feeling good with myself when i spied my mom's blouse in the doorway . . . i nearly collapsed.

Cut long story short, my parents requested for every single craft assignment i had missed in the last 2 terms (almost 24) and told the teacher they would personally bring them the next week.
By the time i got home, a large mound of clay, bales of cardboard, plenty of rafia, crayons and stuff was waiting for me at home. I moulded pots for hrs, even my brothers finally took pity on me and helped me finish most of the work. How i escaped a flogging is still a mystery.

Reminds me of the "I dare you" games we played, i was asked to go steal someone's panties ONLY to have someone rat on me. Maynne, did my tongue lick my nose that night.

Honeric, no be only u do that wrestlemania sh!tzZl3 oooo   , we even took it far by assuming Mortal Kombat xters, i was Raiden. . .

aisha2:

I can imagine bros. Kai, i miss my childhood days.
One day i went to visit my school mother during the holidays. I had a cold and my mom gave me some drugs, I did not know the drugs will make me sleep. Mind you this was the first time of visiting the house. Na so i go oh, when i got there she was not around but her sister said i should wait for her, na so i siddon begin sleep, I sleep sotay they bring pillow, Imagine someone comes to your house for the first time and starts sleeping.
When i woke up and realised what had happened i ran out of their house and entered a taxi straight home, shame no gree let me go back there till today

, that is what we call august sleep  

@v3,
ahh raiden

My own na to dey form say i dey shock person, free pass to touch b0obies

hehehehe, i just love doing it back then, i would have loved to still be doing it now just that am too old for it now. This is it: I'll simply plug our pressing iron to electricity and when the iron if fully hot, i'll spit on the surface and inhale the smell .

It's fun doing it and i succeded in initiating my younger brother and some freinds into it.

Back in the days (SS2, that is) I was a rap enthusiast and wanted to put every bit of my favorite rhymes into my note or letters or wall graffiti. We were told to write an undertaken desisting from damaging school property-addressed to the proprietress, and I ended the letter with Signed, Biatch!! (what seemed a cool-street lingo, Snop Dogg often ended his Rap verses with, doggy style album especially). The proprietress who obviously didn't like me at that time, the next day, called for an emergency assembly.

When sh first began to talk, I be no understand where she be dey go, until she mentioned the line "Some people even have the guts to call me BITCH!!!". My Dad, being an ex-cop was a specialist in slaps that gave a radio frequency, all sorts of Near death punishment exercises (sitting in the air and the likes), and the endless galleria of kobokos. He was summoned to school and he apologized accordingly. I was suspended and he didn't talk to me for 3days. I knew what that meant, the tension grew. Being a church-leader and a prominent, seemingly wealthy man; he liked to reserve himself and detested being mocked or embarrassed publicly like I did. The third night, he summoned me to his study room-locked the door after me, and I knew, as Michael Jackson would have, I said to myself "THIS IS IT". The beating cannot be quantified. I came out of there with stripes like Kintaro from Mortal Combat II

The rest is history. 15years and counting I still got scars of glory from numerous soul-snatchin beating

LORD HAVE MERCY!!

I still feel bad about this but I was a child and didn't knw any better, my oldest sis was so strict when we were growing up, she never hesitated to punish you if she felt u'd done wrong, for a long time I thought she hated me. Anyway, one time after a rather painful "angle 90" punishment, and I had bawled my eyes out, she sent for me while I was jeje in the room trying to console myself and asked me to go get her a spoon, I went to d kitchen, picked up d spoon and for sum reason had a crazy idea to dip the spoon in the toilet bowl, which I did and gave it to her, she didn't suspect a thing, I stood there for a while watching her eat and smiled all the way back to my room, it was evil, but I felt a whole lot better,

gorky_park:

Back in the days (SS2, that is) I was a rap enthusiast and wanted to put every bit of my favorite rhymes into my note or letters or wall graffiti. We were told to write an undertaken desisting from damaging school property-addressed to the proprietress, and I ended the letter with Signed, Biatch!! (what seemed a cool-street lingo, Snop Dogg often ended his Rap verses with, canine style album especially). The proprietress who obviously didn't like me at that time, the next day, called for an emergency assembly.

When sh first began to talk, I be no understand where she be dey go, until she mentioned the line "Some people even have the guts to call me naughty woman!!!". My Dad, being an ex-cop was a specialist in slaps that gave a radio frequency, all sorts of Near death punishment exercises (sitting in the air and the likes), and the endless galleria of kobokos. He was summoned to school and he apologized accordingly. I was suspended and he didn't talk to me for 3days. I knew what that meant, the tension grew. Being a church-leader and a prominent, seemingly wealthy man; he liked to reserve himself and detested being mocked or embarrassed publicly like I did. The third night, he summoned me to his study room-locked the door after me, and I knew, as Michael Jackson would have, I said to myself "THIS IS IT". The beating cannot be quantified. I came out of there with stripes like Kintaro from Mortal Combat II

The rest is history. 15years and counting I still got scars of glory from numerous soul-snatchin beating

LORD HAVE MERCY!!

Kai, This thread is an award winner

This is a very interesting tread. I did a lot while I was growing, several things happened. My father once traveled and came back with roasted monkey, and to him it was just another bush meat, when it was prepared I refused to eat, I said I was visualizing how it look like before it was done, that it look like human being, I was given fish and Skin (Ponmon) The remaining bush meat (Monkey) was kept for future usage, the second day, as usual we were playing soccer, the set-set type, and when my set was still waiting for our turn, I went inside, brought out the money, removed small tasted it and yours sincerely, it was sweat just like any other kind of meat, went back another time, taste , another bit, in a nut shell, I finished the whole left over monkey. When my mother did returned and realized the missing monkey, every other person in the house were summon except me, there were all beating mercilessly, mummy said she did not beat me for when she gave it to me I could not eat it, so she was sure I would be part of the stealing. A few years ago, I called my mum and I told her that I was the one that stole the monkey; she said I should confess every other thing I have done that I made others to suffer for. It really funny.

@ 2 years of age i did the following:

-while living in New York city (a busy as it IS) I would constantly fight away from my mom in public and run across the street (how I am STILL alive? I have NO IDEA!) imagine the reactions!

-My cousin and myself SOMEHOW climbed on top of our roof and was laughing as my aunt nearly died of fright!

-I stripped unclothed in the middle of a supermarket in Brooklyn, NY and an old man asked "Omg! whose baby is this?!" my poor mom was in the check out line, had to get out to grab me and ofcourse spanked the crap out of me!

-YES i stripped unclothed yet again, snuck out of my house and ran into my neighbor's house and climbed into the tub with her son. My poor mother told me she was soo embarassed when the neighbor knocked on the door holding me.

lastly. . .
-I used to take bottles of grease and would take HAND FULLS and just put it ALL over me lol. my mom would try to grab me to spank me but I would be slippery she couldnt manage lol.

I have done SO MUCH in my young life I am embarassed to share any more lol.

I along with other age mates were acting a bible account of Jesus Crucifixion, I was made to play the role the Pharisee that nail Jesus, the guy that was acting Jesus laid on the bench carpenter in our neighborhood was using, I tool the nail and nail the guy to the bench, he allowed me to hit the nail once but it did entered, he jumped from the bench and ran to his mum with blood trailing him, I ran quickly straight to under my mothers bed I was there and slept of while the whole community were looking for me everywhere. When hunger visited me I crawl out and for a very long time other children were not allowed to play with me, they nickname me Pharisee

Fisay:

I along with other age mates were acting a bible account of Jesus Crucifixion, I was made to play the role the Pharisee that nail Jesus, the guy that was acting Jesus laid on the bench carpenter in our neighborhood was using, I tool the nail and nail the guy to the bench, he allowed me to hit the nail once but it did entered, he jumped from the bench and ran to his mum with blood trailing him, I ran quickly straight to under my mothers bed I was there and slept of while the whole community were looking for me everywhere. When hunger visited me I crawl out and for  a very long time other children were not allowed to play with me, they nickname me Pharisee

i just couldn't help the tears rolling down my cheek while laughing, o boy, this one funny die, but you mean oo. pharisee 

Looooool!, @ pharisee, wickedly funny!!!

Fisay:

I along with other age mates were acting a bible account of Jesus Crucifixion, I was made to play the role the Pharisee that nail Jesus, the guy that was acting Jesus laid on the bench carpenter in our neighborhood was using, I tool the nail and nail the guy to the bench, he allowed me to hit the nail once but it did entered, he jumped from the bench and ran to his mum with blood trailing him, I ran quickly straight to under my mothers bed I was there and slept of while the whole community were looking for me everywhere. When hunger visited me I crawl out and for a very long time other children were not allowed to play with me, they nickname me Pharisee

Oh my dayzz . How will they allow you, so you can crucify them too abi?? Lol. You pharisee .

Very really wicked pharisee

aisha2:

Very really wicked pharisee

Very . This your topic is helping us know what makes these NLanders tick, and how they turned out the way they did. Imagine v3 and honeric01's history .

maedan:

Very . This your topic is helping us know what makes these NLanders tick, and how they turned out the way they did. Imagine v3 and honeric01's history .

honeric01 esp.can relate to the guy though

I remembered when I was in Pry 3 my late grandma use to give me pocket money for lunch everyday before leaving for school. One day I was roaming around her room and discovered a box filled with money so every morning i will sneak into her room while she's making breakfast for me to take to school and help myself with some of the cash then turn around and ask her for lunch money. I was living large, big boy on campus. This went on for 3 weeks and finally the money in the box finished. Business as usual she was making breakfast i went into her room and found out that my treasure box is empty but no shakins i still gat the grandma lunch money to collect, when the school bus arrived i started looking at her and of cos she was looking at me too i was thinking in my head is this woman forgetting something. Then she smiled and said my husband there is a box in my room where i kept your lunch money for the school year go there and get it. The next pocket money i gat from her was when i gat admitted into secondary school.