So yours faithfully was hot as hell. Girlfriend traveled, side chicks traveled too, even the small small girls around wey for help the ministry all travelled to villa for the Xmas and new year.

So this morning I vex dial one ashawo number for my phone. She picked and said she traveled too and sent me one of her colleagues number. So I dailed the colleagues number she picked and arranged a meeting for evening.

This evening she called she’s already waiting at the meeting ground. I drove down there and parked somewhere so I can see her first before anything. She sef go hide. I called her to show herself that I’m standing at the road side. She instructed me to walk down one corner. I had to silent my Nokia torch phone just Incase she’s not what I expected. I got there and was faking a call which my other phone. I saw a lady that looks like coffin signaled me. I was like “me”?? She said yes. Aren’t you the one calling me? I said Noooo, I’m waiting for someone here.

So she brought out her phone and was dialing my number nonstop. I just bone. Because there’s no way I go negotiate anything with that kinda girl. She be like drum. All the fat Dey her belle. Con leave nothing for her yansh.

She kept calling my torch phone while I kept on faking call. Later nai the babe vex waka meet me.

She: mr man why you Dey lie? Na you Dey call me since morning. And now you Dey lie say nor be you.

Me; aunty( I had to call her aunty make she for pity me say I nor know anything) I don’t know what you are taking about o. I’m waiting for my friend here.

She: you are very silly!!! Keep quite there. It’s you that called me. Bring out your other phone. (People begin gather)

I had to hurry down to where my car is and zoomed off before ashawo begin disgrace me.

What a way to start the new year

Very funny.

hahahaha

Well played

Op u need brain check up, even though we know ur telling lies here, Buh why ASHAWO POSTS THIS 2018!!!!

Ashawo is the most stupid group of people on earth, they will make your sexual life so miserable.

Apart from me,who else didn't believed?

stupidity:
So yours faithfully was hot as hell. Girlfriend traveled, side chicks traveled too, even the small small girls around wey for help the ministry all travelled to villa for the Xmas and new year.

So this morning I vex dial one ashawo number for my phone. She picked and said she traveled too and sent me one of her colleagues number. So I dailed the colleagues number she picked and arranged a meeting for evening.

This evening she called she’s already waiting at the meeting ground. I drove down there and parked somewhere so I can see her first before anything. She sef go hide. I called her to show herself that I’m standing at the road side. She instructed me to walk down one corner. I had to silent my Nokia torch phone just Incase she’s not what I expected. I got there and was faking a call which my other phone. I saw a lady that looks like coffin signaled me. I was like “me”?? She said yes. Aren’t you the one calling me? I said Noooo, I’m waiting for someone here.

So she brought out her phone and was dialing my number nonstop. I just bone. Because there’s no way I go negotiate anything with that kinda girl. She be like drum. All the fat Dey her belle. Con leave nothing for her yansh.

She kept calling my torch phone while I kept on faking call. Later nai the babe vex waka meet me.

She: mr man why you Dey lie? Na you Dey call me since morning. And now you Dey lie say nor be you.

Me; aunty( I had to call her aunty make she for pity me say I nor know anything) I don’t know what you are taking about o. I’m waiting for my friend here.

She: you are very silly!!! Keep quite there. It’s you that called me. Bring out your other phone. (People begin gather)

I had to hurry down to where my car is and zoomed off before ashawo begin disgrace me.

What a way to start the new year

You have killed me with laughter this night

you should have zoomed off immediately you noticed she isn't your kinda woman..
you waited till she got you disgraced. .
funny story though

stupidity:
So yours faithfully was hot as hell. Girlfriend traveled, side chicks traveled too, even the small small girls around wey for help the ministry all travelled to villa for the Xmas and new year.

So this morning I vex dial one ashawo number for my phone. She picked and said she traveled too and sent me one of her colleagues number. So I dailed the colleagues number she picked and arranged a meeting for evening.

This evening she called she’s already waiting at the meeting ground. I drove down there and parked somewhere so I can see her first before anything. She sef go hide. I called her to show herself that I’m standing at the road side. She instructed me to walk down one corner. I had to silent my Nokia torch phone just Incase she’s not what I expected. I got there and was faking a call which my other phone. I saw a lady that looks like coffin signaled me. I was like “me”?? She said yes. Aren’t you the one calling me? I said Noooo, I’m waiting for someone here.

So she brought out her phone and was dialing my number nonstop. I just bone. Because there’s no way I go negotiate anything with that kinda girl. She be like drum. All the fat Dey her belle. Con leave nothing for her yansh.

She kept calling my torch phone while I kept on faking call. Later nai the babe vex waka meet me.

She: mr man why you Dey lie? Na you Dey call me since morning. And now you Dey lie say nor be you.

Me; aunty( I had to call her aunty make she for pity me say I nor know anything) I don’t know what you are taking about o. I’m waiting for my friend here.

She: you are very silly!!! Keep quite there. It’s you that called me. Bring out your other phone. (People begin gather)

I had to hurry down to where my car is and zoomed off before ashawo begin disgrace me.

What a way to start the new year

Lwkmd
*still laughing...

sekxy:
you should have zoomed off immediately you noticed she isn't your kinda woman..

you waited till she got you disgraced. .

funny story though

They deserve every atom of disgrace meted on them

Chai. all these olosho ehn. they fit fvuck person parol

It's 2018 already. It's a shame people forgot to upgrade their brain app ..

Fkforyou:
It's 2018 already. It's a shame people forgot to upgrade their brain app ..

im still waiting for sense v9.0 before I upgrade.

Fkforyou:
It's 2018 already. It's a shame people forgot to upgrade their brain app ..

madman

All this ashawo girls dey know how to disgrace person with their loud and big mouth wey be like say knock-out explode inside.

So there was this brothel in my hood back then, we used to go and smoke and drink there. There was this ashawo Aunty wey like to smoke weed so me and my guys used to help her arrange the weed.

Na so one day after we close from choir rehearsals the whole choir decided to pay the choir master a visit at home to greet his wife on her successful delivery of a baby girl.

On our way back, we passed in front of that brothel, na so dis ashana sight me in the group of about 20 choir members.

Hey God, which kind wahala be this...?

...... to be contd shortly

Hahaha ewu.

.... contd.....

Sometimes i begin to wonder if devil is only interested in me alone because na awkward moment he go to show up.

Instead of this girl to use her sense and decode that i am in the company of church people, naso she begin dey yell my name

Gofwane!
Gofwane!!
Gofwane!!!

I just lock up and comot my face from her direction. Our choir members begin to dey hear her calling my name naso all of dem turn around to see who dey shout my name.

Lo and behold it was an ashawo standing in front of their compound with her bleached face, big squeezed stomach and flat nyash

As dey turned and saw her they were like na your name she dey call, how you take know dat woman ?



... to be contd shortly

Following

Gofwane:
All this ashawo girls dey know how to disgrace person with their loud and big mouth wey be like say knock-out explode inside.

So there was this brothel in my hood back then, we used to go and smoke and drink there. There was this ashawo Aunty wey like to smoke weed so me and my guys used to help her arrange the weed.

Na so one day after we close from choir rehearsals the whole choir decided to pay the choir master a visit at home to greet his wife on her successful delivery of a baby girl.

On our way back, we passed in front of that brothel, na so dis ashana sight me in the group of about 20 choir members.

Hey God, which kind wahala be this...?

...... to be contd shortly

Lmao

Baba come back and finish this gist

Following

Gofwane:
.... contd.....

Sometimes i begin to wonder if devil is only interested in me alone because na awkward moment he go to show up.

Instead of this girl to use her sense and decode that i am in the company of church people, naso she begin dey yell my name

Gofwane!
Gofwane!!
Gofwane!!!

I just lock up and comot my face from her direction. Our choir members begin to dey hear her calling my name naso all of dem turn around to see who dey shout my name.

Lo and behold it was an ashawo standing in front of their compound with her bleached face, big squeezed stomach and flat nyash

As dey turned and saw her they were like na your name she dey call, how you take know dat woman ?



... to be contd shortly

lol
sharp guy

Lolz , What a funny way of starting the year

... all dis church people with their oversabi and holier than thou attitude, na so dey begin to dey murmur among themselves. Some where hissing very, very loudly while some where clapping their hands in surprise.

Secretary: jeso kreste !! Na ashawo dey call you so? So you are a customer abi?

Member1: yes of course! How she go take sabi him name if e no be customer?

Member2: so after you people don go sleep with ashawo finish, una go come stand in front of church to play instruments. Chai!!

To say i was embarrassed is an understatement and to make matters worse, naso the ashawo begin dey approach us and instead of the amebo people to keep walking, they all stayed to hear what we are going to discuss.

Ashawo: I dey call you, you no wan answer abi?

Me: I no hear ni

Ashawo: Abegi, shut up. So you dey pretend because of dis people abi? All you dis church people sef, if una want to be for God, be for God alone if na devil, be for him alone! no be say una go dey here and dey there at the same time.

All the choir members just dey nod head in agreement to what she just said.

She brought out some money and gave me to help her buy 'grass' and bring it to her room later. I was embarrassed, fuming with anger inside but alarm don blow already so I kukuma collect the money and vamooze.

As expected, i didn't even bother to go touch any instruments because the type of church i attend (Baptist) don't tolerate dis kind shii and the members are professional gossipers.
So i went to sit in the congregation, all eyes were on me. Before my nyash touch the plastic chair, one usher just came and addressed me rudely and gave me a suspension later.
That was a big disgrace to my family because my grandparents are missionaries, they are the ones that built the church some 40 years ago. In my church, when you are on suspension, you will be the last person to go and put your offering and you will be singing alone as you go to drop it after everybody has dropped theirs and sat down. All this orthodox churches sef

I can't do that shii mehn for what?? Am i the worse sinner in the church? What of those that were busy fvcking each other, is it because they were not caught red handed in the act despite all the rumours making the rounds?

So i stood up and left to one christ embassy satellite church nearby where they don't care who you are. Like brother iyke will say: "come as you are let the word change you". They don't have a keyboardist so i sharpally mounted the keyboard and started grooving.
Church was lively that day and all those skimpilly dressed choir girls were just hugging me with their big, big bress after the service.
They welcomed all the new timers very well and entertained us with drinks after the service as they took our names and phone numbers. They even offered me money to start teaching some guys how to play keyboard

Meanwhile in my own church, they were missing me seriously because i was the only good keyboardist and sound engineer. The equipments were malfunctioning, music was not good. I stayed in my adopted church for about three weeks and when my church couldn't take it anymore, they had to send someone to come and talk to me to go back that the church elders have forgiven me and the case was closed. That was how i returned back to my church.

True story

vivalavida:


Lmao

Baba come back and finish this gist

done!

gbam! lobatan

Nice story @Gofwane

Gofwane:
... all dis church people with their oversabi and holier than thou attitude, na so dey begin to dey murmur among themselves. Some where hissing very, very loudly while some where clapping their hands in surprise.

Secretary: jeso kreste !! Na ashawo dey call you so? So you are a customer abi?

Member1: yes of course! How she go take sabi him name if e no be customer?

Member2: so after you people don go sleep with ashawo finish, una go come stand in front of church to play instruments. Chai!!

To say i was embarrassed is an understatement and to make matters worse, naso the ashawo begin dey approach us and instead of the amebo people to keep walking, they all stayed to hear what we are going to discuss.

Ashawo: I dey call you, you no wan answer abi?

Me: I no hear ni

Ashawo: Abegi, shut up. So you dey pretend because of dis people abi? All you dis church people sef, if una want to be for God, be for God alone if na devil, be for him alone! no be say una go dey here and dey there at the same time.

All the choir members just dey nod head in agreement to what she just said.

She brought out some money and gave me to help her buy 'grass' and bring it to her room later. I was embarrassed, fuming with anger inside but alarm don blow already so I kukuma collect the money and vamooze.

As expected, i didn't even bother to go touch any instruments because the type of church i attend (Baptist) don't tolerate dis kind shii and the members are professional gossipers.
So i went to sit in the congregation, all eyes were on me. Before my nyash touch the plastic chair, one usher just came and addressed me rudely and gave me a suspension later.
That was a big disgrace to my family because my grandparents are missionaries, they are the ones that built the church some 40 years ago. In my church, when you are on suspension, you will be the last person to go and put your offering and you will be singing alone as you go to drop it after everybody has dropped theirs and sat down. All this orthodox churches sef

I can't do that shii mehn for what?? Am i the worse sinner in the church? What of those that were busy fvcking each other, is it because they were not caught red handed in the act despite all the rumours making the rounds?

So i stood up and left to one christ embassy satellite church nearby where they don't care who you are. Like brother iyke will say: "come as you are let the word change you". They don't have a keyboardist so i sharpally mounted the keyboard and started grooving.
Church was lively that day and all those skimpilly dressed choir girls were just hugging me with their big, big bress after the service.
They welcomed all the new timers very well and entertained us with drinks after the service as they took our names and phone numbers. They even offered me money to start teaching some guys how to play keyboard

Meanwhile in my own church, they were missing me seriously because i was the only good keyboardist and sound engineer. The equipments were malfunctioning, music was not good. I stayed in my adopted church for about three weeks and when my church couldn't take it anymore, they had to send someone to come and talk to me to go back that the church elders have forgiven me and the case was closed. That was how i returned back to my church.

True story

That is y I love The Apostolic Church and Deeper Life, U are gone U are, they no send,even if ur name na Lucifer that have musical instruments on his body

Our man Gofwane is here. Where is my popcorn and zobo drink . Oya continue.

profolaolu:
That is y I love The Apostolic Church and Deeper Life, U are gone U are, they no send,even if ur name na Lucifer that have musical instruments on his body

is that the best? there's joy in heaven over one sinner that repent. Jesus Christ came for the sinners not the righteous.