I hate it when I write $ex Toy and whatever u guys installed in the site changes it to intimacy gadget. Some certain things dey sweet wen u call their names as dey are instead of all these corner corner names.

Jamariwolff:
yes, I'm ready to jump on as many dicks as possible. And so what?

Don't you guys do worse

oops i have seen one of them

AZeD1:

You can't make something subjective a rule doing so makes having a rational argument almost impossible.

The OP stated "If a guy lives a relationship after a year, the lady should herself".

Really? You have no idea why the relationship didn't work but you assume it's most likely the lady's fault?

Does that make "sense"?

Read very well and stop taking every line with their literal meaning.
Meanwhile, here is not a logic class. The little they taught u about Philosophy and Logic is already making u go crazy.
When the real logic starts, u go run. Stop this ITK attitude.

LaudableXX:


Guy, you are generalising. Like I explained earlier, the 'curse of the familiar' sometimes affects relationships that have gone on, for a year. And it can lead to a split, if care is not taken. The man who marries a new girl within weeks of meeting her, may do so simply because she is still an exciting novelty to him, and not necessarily because she is better than the former girl he left behind.

A man who dates a lady who is not educated or a graduate, deserves a tongue-lashing. He knew quite well that she wasn't educated or a graduate before he started dating her, didn't he?? Or was he blind? So why did he date her and then use such a lame excuse, to dump her later? In the old days, some of our fathers and grandfathers paid for the education of their wives, through school.

I always advise people, to try and build a friendship with someone you are attracted to, before dating or getting into a relationship with that person. During the friendship phase, you can tell a lot about the person - if he/she is lazy, or idle or lacks a skill. If you are not satisfied with the traits they show during the friendship period, then you can both go your separate ways peacefully, without getting entangled in a relationship. But unfortunately, the word patience and wisdom disappeared from the dictionaries of a lot of people, many years ago.

I'm not generalising like you said. Just pointed out the obvious.
This happens in most relationships.
Some ladies are even good and humble, but they got a character flaw that keeps getting them dumped like the Op said.
Let me give you an example.
There's this lady my friend dated. She was everything you would want in a woman, but she was insanely jealous and destructive.
Anytime they quarrel, the lady ends up breaking things in the house.
After the quarrel, she begs for forgiveness and sometimes replaces the broken items.
My friend and I kept advising her to keep her jealousy and anger in check, but after a while, she repeats the same thing.
My friend eventually let her go, even though they loved each other so much.
A girl with that kind of behaviour might be here and see nothing wrong with it.
That's why it's important for women to upgrade and try to be better.
Same with guys. Women who know what they're worth, dump sorry ass guys all the time.
One more thing, no sane and mature man gets married to a woman just because she's an exciting novelty to him, like you said.
It's possible though for immature or guys who find it difficult to talk to women.

nonut:
I'm not generalising like you said. Just pointed out the obvious.
This happens in most relationships.
Some ladies are even good and humble, but they got a character flaw that keeps getting them dumped like the Op said.
Let me give you an example.
There's this lady my friend dated. She was everything you would want in a woman, but she was insanely jealous and destructive.
Anytime they quarrel, the lady ends up breaking things in the house.
After the quarrel, she begs for forgiveness and sometimes replaces the broken items.
My friend and I kept advising her to keep her jealousy and anger in check, but after a while, she repeats the same thing.
My friend eventually let her go, even though they loved each other so much.
A girl with that kind of behaviour might be here and see nothing wrong with it.
That's why it's important for women to upgrade and try to be better.
Same with guys. Women who know what they're worth, dump sorry ass guys all the time.
One more thing, no sane and mature man gets married to a woman just because she's an exciting novelty to him, like you said.
It's possible though for immature or guys who find it difficult to talk to women.

Hmmmn...food for thought. But how long did your friend date the jealous but humble girl, with destructive tendencies? Was it up to a year?

Secondly, don't men also have "a character flaw that keeps getting them dumped like the Op said," or do you think it is peculiar to women?

Finally, the number of men who often quickly marry women they met within a short span of time, is far higher than you can possibly guess. And no, they are not immature men but adults who you would often think, should know better. After the wedding, when the scales fall from their eyes, they start singing a new tune...of had I known.

Psoul:


Read very well and stop taking every line with their literal meaning.
Meanwhile, here is not a logic class. The little they taught u about Philosophy and Logic is already making u go crazy.
When the real logic starts, u go run. Stop this ITK attitude.

Should I read the lines from the misogynistic view, feminist view or religious view?

As for the second part, you have no idea of what I studied but you think it has little Philosophy?

RuthDaniels:
Oga Toks you are being myopic here, Haba. This is like saying every break up is the woman's fault. Are you saying there are no men who are unsatisfied even with an angel?

Do you mean all men know what they want ? All men are saints? No man will want to chop and go even when a lady is worth staying with? Stop deceiving yourself Biko!

This thread is just to polish your ego, to cover up your flaws and faults. And you know what some shallow minded ones will support you but that won't change the fact that you are wrong!

u d only bae here that have successfully shown common sense in dis thread.....page 1 ....intelligence nd common sense re way too different.....love u for dis

RuthDaniels:
Oga Toks you are being myopic here, Haba. This is like saying every break up is the woman's fault. Are you saying there are no men who are unsatisfied even with an angel?

Do you mean all men know what they want ? All men are saints? No man will want to chop and go even when a lady is worth staying with? Stop deceiving yourself Biko!

This thread is just to polish your ego, to cover up your flaws and faults. And you know what some shallow minded ones will support you but that won't change the fact that you are wrong!

I quite agree with you. You have a point. Most times, some guys don't know what they want, some just want to have fun etc. No matter how good a woman is, she will never be good enough for a man who is not ready to settle down.

LaudableXX:


Hmmmn...food for thought. But how long did your friend date the jealous but humble girl, with destructive tendencies? Was it up to a year?

Secondly, don't men also have "a character flaw that keeps getting them dumped like the Op said," or do you think it is peculiar to women?

Finally, the number of men who often quickly marry women they met within a short span of time, is far higher than you can possibly guess. And no, they are not immature men but adults who you would often think, should know better. After the wedding, when the scales fall from their eyes, they start singing a new tune...of had I known.

He dated the girl for more than a year. I was surprised cos I wouldn't tolerate that regardless of how much I love her.
Men also have their flaws, that's why some women date and still reject the proposal of some guys.
I said that earlier in my post if you read it properly.
Scales falling from their eyes? Smh.
Sometimes you meet that special woman and all that ever comes to your mind is to make an honest woman out of her.
Those who have felt that feeling can relate.

RuthDaniels:
Oga Toks you are being myopic here, Haba. This is like saying every break up is the woman's fault. Are you saying there are no men who are unsatisfied even with an angel?

Do you mean all men know what they want ? All men are saints? No man will want to chop and go even when a lady is worth staying with? Stop deceiving yourself Biko!

This thread is just to polish your ego, to cover up your flaws and faults. And you know what some shallow minded ones will support you but that won't change the fact that you are wrong!

I think you have good points and I wish you can express same without insulting the OP.

nonut:
He dated the girl for more than a year. I was surprised cos I wouldn't tolerate that regardless of how much I love her.
Men also have their flaws, that's why some women date and still reject the proposal of some guys.
I said that earlier in my post if you read it properly.
Scales falling from their eyes? Smh.
Sometimes you meet that special woman and all that ever comes to your mind is to make an honest woman out of her.
Those who have felt that feeling can relate.

That was why I said in my earlier post, that people should be friends before they get into a relationship. This would let you know if the person has certain traits you can live with, or not.

I abhor violence, manipulation and destructiveness in any shape, form or fashion! So the minute I get a hint that any one in my circle of friends has such tendencies, I will either keep the person at arms length or end the friendship/relationship immediately. I value my sanity.

As for the men who marry in haste and repent at leisure, guy - they are plenty. A friend of mine (may God rest his soul!) was in a relationship with a girl who was nice, sensible and easy-going. All of a sudden, another chic from his past (who he dated very briefly before he travelled abroad and they lost touch), popped up again. He dumped the previous girl and went for this new flame. In less than 4 weeks, all marriage rites were concluded. He claimed that she was everything he wanted, in a woman. That marriage did not last 6 months, before it crumbled.

There are too many more examples I could cite for you, but it would take too long to tell them all. May God save us all, from making the wrong decisions.

nonut:
....Sometimes you meet that special woman and all that ever comes to your mind is to make an honest woman out of her. Those who have felt that feeling can relate.

That feeling is just a rush of adrenalin, combined with the hormones known as dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. These feelings fade over time. It doesn't mean that person is perfect for you, (because only time can tell if that is true), it only means you feel a rush of pleasure, in that person's presence.

LaudableXX:


That was why I said in my earlier post, that people should be friends before they get into a relationship. This would let you know if the person has certain traits you can live with, or not.

I abhor violence, manipulation and destructiveness in any shape, form or fashion! So the minute I get a hint that any one in my circle of friends has such tendencies, I will either keep the person at arms length or end the friendship/relationship immediately. I value my sanity.

As for the men who marry in haste and repent at leisure, guy - they are plenty. A friend of mine (may God rest his soul!) was in a relationship with a girl who was nice, sensible and easy-going. All of a sudden, another chic from his past (who he dated very briefly before he travelled abroad and they lost touch), popped up again. He dumped the previous girl and went for this new flame. In less than 4 weeks, all marriage rites were concluded. He claimed that she was everything he wanted, in a woman. That marriage did not last 6 months, before it crumbled.

There are too many more examples I could cite for you, but it would take too long to tell them all. May God save us all, from making the wrong decisions.



That feeling is just a rush of adrenalin, combined with the hormones known as dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. These feelings fade over time. It doesn't mean that person is perfect for you, (because only time can tell if that is true), it only means you feel a rush of pleasure, in that person's presence.

I give up bro.
You don't seem to accept any other opinion except yours.
So long.

JennieCutie4U:

lol...okay lemme run and go and tell the girl. let her start buying her deliverance oil fast

Anty jeni! R u sure u r not d girl? #justasking oo

marshalldgreat:
but you wowo sha o... Your wowo come make my wowo fine... Chai

Guy y na? U wicked o

skales67:


A classical representation of what you are passing through from my reply without a solid clue of what to say.

i am not going to insult you

Psoul:


If that's the only reason u ve for contemplating dumping her, pls do have a rethink.
Consider other ways she make up with this ur assumed flaw.
U said she loves u. She is faithful and loyal. What else do u want in a relationship.
Because u are internet freak and she is not, then u think she is less committed. Bros eehhh.

Let me lend u some sense. U should be happy that she is not as internet freak as u wanted her to be. By the time u push her into all these Whatsapp frequent chat, Facebook, Instagram etc, bros u will be surprise that the loyal babe u used to kw has changed. Abeg cherish that girl.

The other one u want to concentrate on, did she tell u dat she has no boyfriend. Guy u dey mess up oo. Now u think she will leave her bobo come dey follow u. Ok even if he follows you, have u tasted her fidelity and loyalty.
So what you want in a relationship is a woman that will be calling u regularly and chatting with u from morning till night.
I know what ur problem is. U don't have a job that needs ur total concentration. By the time u do, my brother, more that 2 calls a day from ur partner will be like a serious disturbance to u. U wont even have time for that ur Whatsapp.

bro, you might just be misunderstanding the message that the Nigga is trying to pass. whether you are busy or not, attention is key in any relationship. one sided relationships don't last. also, social media is here in this century to make life easier and better for everyone. social media has come and has enabled people so that we all can easily reach out to people with ease. if you are seeing it differently, then maybe you too should check your self. wanting attention from his bae doesn't make him an internet freak. i disagree with you bro! i'm not in support of him trying to dump his bae tho. i believe he can still work things out. buh to tag him an internet freak because he doesn't want a one sided relationship is just so uncool.

last card................ CHECKUP!

Israeljones:

typical example of a lady crying foul and a show of unintelligible comment..
mind you everything up there is not meant for me... am in my late 20s....i have seen and relate wif smart and intelligent ladies, definitely we have a chunk of them still in this country...... but its a pity wif comment like urs i wonder if any still exist here on NL

unintelligible? If my post was, you wont have known what to reply with!!!

LOL. Once the thread na by Toks, babes dey on the defence.
He made some sense on this thread, but I won't rush into that conclusion because of one guy. If it keeps happening, then the lady concerned should check herself. That's just the truth...

Every broken relationship should teach us something about ourselves, be you the breaker or the breakee

Ekiseme:
being single does not mean that the man doesn't have anything to love,

Is it not better to be single than to in a union that your peace of mind is not guaranteed?

loving things is different from loving people. My main point is, if you find yourself breaking relationships because the other party is always at fault in your eyes, you're wrong. If you're looking for the perfect person to relate with, you should narrow your search to only one person: God, cos you'll only find people whose temperaments are best suited to yours! Getting hitched is complicated, its also simple; Accept others, then you'll find acceptance too.

Toks2008:


I agree to a quick extablishment of a logic institution cos you will be the first enrollee.

Dumping a lady is different from parting ways based on genotypic factor or relocation.

Lol... wahala.

Please oh please, disagree with the content of the write up with points, not going about insulting the op na...

People sef, talking shit about Toks, are you guys perfect? He has written what he thinks which I think makes sense, why not create a thread which supports your opinion.

Mbok, let us try na. Try to be peaceful with all men. I have read lots of comments, to the point that I'm now trying to address all of them at a time.

Peace!

Dayg88:







I do not engage in conversations like this because they are usually gender sensitive. That being said, if you read the post carefully, you will understand the message being passed across was never about men being saints or women being the cause for break ups. The message applies to both parties. It is okay if you do not know what you want. But it is bad if we do not know what we do not want. If you (either the guy or the lady) are actually worth keeping, anyone would go any length to make you(in the same context) theirs. A year in a relationship is enough to deduce what we do not want or like in our partners. I just do not support the word dump. It is derogatory.

much as I agree with you on other points, I disagree with you on target audience. The original post was targeted at females. Men don't usually date men in Nigeria presently.

AZeD1:

Nice question.

@Toks

What happens if she dumps the guy after a year?

The guy also, should check himself.

I see no reason why persons are evening turning this into something else. For instance, a guy has been in a relationship with a girl for a 'good' period of time, and afterwards instead of marriage, they separate without "cogent" reasons like genotype you mentioned. The partner that was 'dumped' as well as the person who 'dumped' should both check themselves.

Na two way thing!

MissSlimbody:
Who broke your heart

You really need to get over it and move on.

Are you sure you don't have a slim brain?

Jamariwolff:
So I shud check myself because of a nigga when there are millions of other niggas that will appreciate me and all I have a offer.

Rubbish.

I think you should check yourself, Why you jump from one lady to another like a bag of flies.

You get dumped again after two years. You sound like my ex.

Netfilix:
Op, you're actually right, even though the ladies won't agree this because you sound bias, but you're very valid from my own experience, my current girlfriend is not as physically and facially attractive as my ex, but there is one thing my current girl posses that would make me love her forever, it is her understanding and utmost care, Infact I respect her patapata, Whenever my ex comes to mind, na her self centeredness and lack of respect I go dey remember. Lol...

And I wasn't really thinking marrying her but now I don mean to Marry her... Like she completes me...

Ladies this is my own advice, bad guys are out there plenty but there are some guys that are not really bad but thinks all the ladies are also bad, if you are lucky to meet this kind of guys ehn... And you prove him wrong, Mehn you finally gotten what you're looking for be that...


Pardon my grammar

Abeg type these in block letters make them see. When they see a thread from Toks2008, they refuse to read, understand and comment sensibly. The first reaction is 'defensive mechanism'.

I wonder why

Saintmary:

unintelligible? If my post was, you wont have known what to reply with!!!

U can now pass

pocohantas:
LOL. Once the thread na by Toks, babes dey on the defence.
He made some sense on this thread, but I won't rush into that conclusion because of one guy. If it keeps happening, then the lady concerned should check herself. That's just the truth...

Every broken relationship should teach us something about ourselves, be you the breaker or the breakee

#word

Jamariwolff:
So I shud check myself because of a nigga when there are millions of other niggas that will appreciate me and all I have a offer.

Rubbish.

I think you should check yourself, Why you jump from one lady to another like a bag of flies.

they say u should check yourself you are still talking ko!oya ade bring my cane..haha

Wow....toks. Quite a salty post.

This post is so erroneous on so many levels. I don't even know how to organize my rebuttal into one coherent piece.


You seem to forget women can in fact, decide a man is not "good" enough for them. Must men be the ones to decide? What about a man who doesn't recognize a woman's value because he is either shallow, confused, not ready or just plain stupid?


May I remind you that I am still happily and content as a single and have had to say "NO" to men for variety of reasons. I will not settle for a man just because ONLY he finds me valuable. What about what I think of him? Rubbish.

Your posts are like the blonde ditzy woman who every once in awhile makes sense, but for the rest of the time, is just....well, a block head.

Dafreeguy:


Guy y na? U wicked o

guy but na true na... And na she run mouth pass

pocohantas:
LOL. Once the thread na by Toks, babes dey on the defence.
He made some sense on this thread, but I won't rush into that conclusion because of one guy. If it keeps happening, then the lady concerned should check herself. That's just the truth...

Every broken relationship should teach us something about ourselves, be you the breaker or the breakee

See why you are my baeby

You have sense Lots of it.

Saintmary:

much as I agree with you on other points, I disagree with you on target audience. The original post was targeted at females. Men don't usually date men in Nigeria presently.

Well said ma, it was a direct attack on the female audience, he really did not mention anything concerning the male populace. It is just the lesson i deduce from the message i am trying to focus on. I would be angry too, if men were referred to in that context. Well said.