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“domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Tozara(m): 8:37am On Feb 13, 2018
uyiekpenn:
hey you. I've noticed you've been directly and indirectly insulting people here. A woman who insults the pride and dignity of any man deserves a very thorough beating. You ladies are very quick to come out online to say trash when 95% of the marriage crash are caused by your insatiable greed for material things and your uncultured mouths.
Whatever happened to INSULTING AN INSULTIVE WOMAN BACK? Why must you respond to insults with physical violence?

Should your wife flog you for being insultive?

5 Likes

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Daisy17: 8:45am On Feb 13, 2018
OrestesDante:
angry


☣ ☠


∆ The way some women talk at times, pukes me!


Were there no period of Courtship?

Didn't she study the attitude of her husband?

Was she rushing to get married like some ladies are doing today?

Wedding Gown and Suits is not marriage.

Just a year?

Nobody is talking about the lady herself. She might be the cause of this. Attitude speaks a lot in marriage which most of these ladywomen don't have.

Now she's rushing to the social media to talk about her failed marriage.
Rubbish!!!

I'm not on the husband's side sha.

∆



☣ ☠

The way you guys go on about period of courtship in this forum. Don't you realize that most abusers are very loving and romantic in the beginning, and then their characters change. Why will a sane woman marry an abuser? Maybe it's time you read about abusive people and you will realize most victims did not get any warning.

1 Like

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by wonder233: 8:47am On Feb 13, 2018
Mynd44:
She did the right thing.

Domestic violence should never be condoled whether it js coming from the wife or the man.

I am glad she left with her sanity and alive to even make her choice.

Hopefully, we as humans can grow up to the extent of seeing that violence is never the answer
'condoned' not condoled

1 Like

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by uyiekpenn(m): 8:47am On Feb 13, 2018
Childofaking:
Women are always quick to rush to social media to complain about domestic violence, the fact is that men suffer more abuse in marriage than women.

It is a woman that actually determine whether the union will an abusive one or not. She knows what to do if she want her husband to become violent, she know the key to press. If she want him to be loving, she also knows exactly what to do. But most of the times they are too proud to press the other button.
no mind them. Feminism is doing more harm than good and they don't know. Check most of the marriages crashing 95% of them are caused by ladies who feel the need to be domineering and want to command respect from a man using force which is totally wrong. I happen to have a very hot temper but my woman knows how to calm me. I've never raised my hand on a woman and I'll never do that but these so called feminists should learn to respect themselves and stop filling the heads of young girls with trash. Gender equality can never be possible because ladies have reduced themselves to mere objects of satisfaction before men. Imagine dating a girl and you pay for everything and all she does is offer sex and you expect me to see you as my equal?
Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Khonifer: 8:48am On Feb 13, 2018
It's good that women now have the courage to leave toxic and abusive relationships. I commend her bravery. Her only crime os bringing it to cyberspace, because the mad people here will not allow her drink water and keep cup again...

3 Likes

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Daisy17: 8:48am On Feb 13, 2018
ezex:
Marriage is a life time thing or she remains widow

Archaic mentality

1 Like

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Daisy17: 8:50am On Feb 13, 2018
Saao:
What really happen? A loving wife will always have a loving husband. Many women nawaday turn their husband into a beast with their feminist or so called modern marriage attitudes. You can't have a good home if you can't submit to your husband. A submissive wife always control the husband. Looking for sympathizers won't assist marriages or victim mentality destroys faster than anything.

Absolute rubbish

2 Likes

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Jephyard(m): 8:54am On Feb 13, 2018
This is how the world works about abuse between man and woman in a relationship

In “genderizing” abuse as a primarily male behavior, we minimize and, in a way, legitimize, women’s abusive behavior.

There it is.

And for we men this are the list of want they do and we see as nothing though yet are abuse we all suffer in a relationship or marriage.

1. She pushes for quick involvement. She comes on strong, claiming, “I’ve never felt loved like this before by anyone.” You get pressured for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.

She’s aggressive or demanding.

2. There is jealousy. Your partner is excessively possessive, calls constantly, or visits unexpectedly.

She’s needy or impulsive.

3. She is controlling. She interrogates you intensely about who you talked to and where you were; checks mileage on the car; keeps all the money or asks for receipts; insists you ask for permission to go anywhere or do anything.

She’s protecting herself, because men can’t be trusted.

4. She has very unrealistic expectations. She expects you to be the perfect person and meet their every need.

She has high standards.

5. There is isolation. She tries to cut you off from family and friends; deprives you of a phone or car, or tries to prevent you from holding a job (substitute going out with friends).

She rightly expects to be the most important person in your life.

6. She blames others for her own mistakes. The boss, family, you – it’s always someone else’s fault if anything goes wrong.

She has too much self-respect to allow herself to be the fall guy.

7. She makes everyone else responsible for their feelings. The abuser says, “You make me angry” instead of “I’m angry.” “I wouldn’t get so pissed off if you wouldn’t…

She is a strong woman who calls men on their shit.

8. There is hypersensitivity. She is easily insulted and will often rant and rave about injustices that are just part of life.

She is sensitive to the victimization of women, something men don’t understand.

9. He is cruel to animals and children. He kills or punishes animals brutally. She also may expect children to do things beyond their ability, or tease them until they cry.

She has high expectations for her kids and is a tough taskmaster.

10. His “playful” use of force during sex. He enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will; he says they find the idea of rape exciting. She intimidates, manipulates, or forces you to engage in unwanted sex acts.

She enjoys reversing roles and playing power games in the bedroom.

11. There is verbal abuse. She constantly criticizes you or says cruel things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. She will use vulnerable points about your past/life against you.

She is trying to make you a better man.

12. There are rigid gender roles. She expects you to serve, obey, and remain at home (substitute work and pay all the expenses).

She is enforcing her rights in the relationship.

13. He has sudden mood swings. She switches from loving to angry in a matter of minutes.

She is highly emotional.

14. He has a past of battering. She admits to hitting men in the past, but states that they or the situation brought it on.

She had no choice and was only defending herself against abusive partners.

15. There are threats of violence. She makes statements such as, “I’ll break your neck,” but then dismisses it with “I really didn’t mean it.”

She gets mean and angry when provoked and wouldn’t say these things if you didn’t piss her off.

Every man passed through this everyday and couple with work pressure so you see us rant on twitter and what so ever CAPITAL NO.

1 Like

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Daisy17: 8:56am On Feb 13, 2018
uyiekpenn:
hey you. I've noticed you've been directly and indirectly insulting people here. A woman who insults the pride and dignity of any man deserves a very thorough beating. You ladies are very quick to come out online to say trash when 95% of the marriage crash are caused by your insatiable greed for material things and your uncultured mouths.

You are the uncultured one.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Authoreety: 9:03am On Feb 13, 2018
Ladyhippolyta88:
Pointof correction it is not my husband house but it is our house because I can't stay in a house I didn't contribute to build or rent.So keep that useless advice and word to yourself.Stop blaming women only for marriage failure and this your advice is really stupid.


madam,we neva dey fyt o


Bt,sori o... almost all ladies that misbehave dont really see it as their house hence the stupidity
Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Lumig: 9:05am On Feb 13, 2018
HeWrites:
A Nigerian caterer and Chef, Joan, has spoken out on being a victim of domestic violence and how she’s summoned up courage to leave the abusive union.

Taking to Twitter to share, Joan stated how she saw her first year of marriage as a trial period and since it’s not what she expected, she then wouldn’t lose her life over the stereotype placed by society.

Other tweeps congratulated and cheered her up for having such courage to move on with her life…

See her tweet below:

https://torimill.com/2018/02/domestic-violence-cant-be-cured-it-only-kills-woman-as-she-walks-out-of-her-abusive-marriage.html

Lalasticlala Mynd44 Dominique
Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Authoreety: 9:09am On Feb 13, 2018
Tozara:
Whatever happened to INSULTING AN INSULTIVE WOMAN BACK? Why must you respond to insults with physical violence?

Should your wife flog you for being insultive?

Women should RESPECT dia husbands!
Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Xisnin(m): 9:11am On Feb 13, 2018
NothingDoMe:
I've learnt to get the other side of the story since Nigerian ladies love coming to social media to tell half truths or outright lies.
What other side of the story?
That the husband did not beat her?
What if he said her never touched her?
You will jump up in joy that you have been vindicated.

I have worked with NGOs in the past and I can tell you that the last
thing a wife will do is confirm that she is been abused. Even those
who were hospitalised due to beatings will still deny being abused.
Whenever a wife come out to tell her story of marital, there is no "other side"
except in cases where the husband was the one who initiated the divorce.

Note that excuses such as she doesn't obey me or she is disrespectful are nonsense.
If you read the comments above, you will see a post excusing abuse with many likes,
that is to show you the level of reasoning of an average Nigerian men.

6 Likes

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Xisnin(m): 9:12am On Feb 13, 2018
Authoreety:
Her lips nd in short her appearance obviously shows she is a troublesome woman!


Only 4 those that have deep insight!

What will you do if you have a troublesome woman, beat her to death or send her packing.
SMH.

2 Likes

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Lumig: 9:13am On Feb 13, 2018
HeWrites:
A Nigerian caterer and Chef, Joan, has spoken out on being a victim of domestic violence and how she’s summoned up courage to leave the abusive union.

Taking to Twitter to share, Joan stated how she saw her first year of marriage as a trial period and since it’s not what she expected, she then wouldn’t lose her life over the stereotype placed by society.

Other tweeps congratulated and cheered her up for having such courage to move on with her life…

See her tweet below:

https://torimill.com/2018/02/domestic-violence-cant-be-cured-it-only-kills-woman-as-she-walks-out-of-her-abusive-marriage.html

Lalasticlala Mynd44 Dominique
I am happy for you woman for your decision to save your life, domestic violence should never be allowed to fester in our homes. But madam, you never told us how you have been saucy, and abusive towards your man, you don't want to tell me you are the perfect wife everyman prays for. Proverbs 14 :1
Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Antina(f): 9:14am On Feb 13, 2018
Geonigga:
Hmmm! She didn't tell us what led to the violence. This is half-lies.

To my own understanding!!he shouldn't have abused her. Why not kukuma divorce her!!
Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Ladyhippolyta88(f): 9:14am On Feb 13, 2018
uyiekpenn:
are you marriageable as well? Stop saying nonsense. This guy just said the absolute truth that you guys don't wanna hear. What about women who hit their husbands and call him names in front of others? Isn't that domestic violence? You guys are as guilty as the others. Learn to bridle your tongues and acknowledge the fact that your husband is the head of the house and as such should command respect.
Tell that to the religious folks.I have an egalitarian relationship and we are partners.Everyone has what they can define as marriageable and take note I won't give you respect because of gender or the head or tail of something but I would respect you because you earn it.To complete what I started I never supported such stop being chauvinistic and misogynistic because I don't buy that you actually need to learn to bridle your tongue and earn the respect of a woman and not think because you are a man and have a joystick you ultimately deserve respect to the 21st century woman you should earn it before you spew trash about the head and tail of the family.Daeylar where are you.

4 Likes

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Xisnin(m): 9:15am On Feb 13, 2018
olabrad:


When you have very foul attitude as a woman, I hope you also realise that is a form of domestic violence against the man? So think before you comment. Emotional attack is also a form of aggression. Stop being myopic in your reasoning.

You are very myopic. There is no such thing as emotional violence.
Violence is 100% physical. Aren't you a weak man if all you do is beat up
your wife because she insults you.

4 Likes

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Xisnin(m): 9:18am On Feb 13, 2018
nawtyme:
Well done woman. But we should not only say no to domestic violence. We should also say no to emotional trauma caused by verbally abusive wives.
Verbal abuse has the same consequence as physical abuse.
We have only heard your side of the story, what about his side of the story?
Stop assuming verbal abuse.
No, it doesn't have the same consequence and men are as capable of verbal abuse as women,
people live 80, 100 years even after being verbally abused and if you are
a Nigerian, you have been verbally abused by parents, teachers or bosses at work.
How many of them did you beat up for abusing you?
If you don't like your partner's behaviour, divorce her, but weak men won't do that, they
will want to prove a point by beating her and the cycle continues.

5 Likes

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Xisnin(m): 9:19am On Feb 13, 2018
Tolumiide:
people jumping into conclusion anyhow. and some women like to play the victims card. nairaland is waiting for her husband's side of the story. A woman that's capable of posting such "good" news in public in that manner is capable of anything. congratulations to her husband.
He is probably in a dark corner crying his eyes out.
Whenever there is a divorce, the divorced partner always bitter and rejected.

1 Like

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Authoreety: 9:19am On Feb 13, 2018
Xisnin:


What will you do if you have a troublesome woman, beat her to death or send her packing.
SMH.

Pls, ill send her packing cos a toublesome woman is also a threat to her husband
Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Xisnin(m): 9:21am On Feb 13, 2018
Saao:
What really happen? A loving wife will always have a loving husband. Many women nawaday turn their husband into a beast with their feminist or so called modern marriage attitudes. You can't have a good home if you can't submit to your husband. A submissive wife always control the husband. Looking for sympathizers won't assist marriages or victim mentality destroys faster than anything.

You are so myopic. Domestic violence have always existed. If this woman was a feminist,
she would long have left the abusive man. A word of advice for you, never marry in hope
that your wife will "submit" to you. Make sure she is unexposed and believes in "submission"

2 Likes

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by missjane: 9:23am On Feb 13, 2018
95% of what women call domestic violence is that they married a man who can't contain their excesses. Very very few women are truly submissive n respect their spouses weda he cheats or not..as long as they have seen their husbands unclothedness they have become mates ..see the lady that poured soup on her husband after two hot slaps..then if he had retaliated na domestic violence..
Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Xisnin(m): 9:23am On Feb 13, 2018
Authoreety:


Pls, ill send her packing cos a toublesome woman is also a threat to her husband

So why do you think the wife beater did not send her packing?

2 Likes

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Authoreety: 9:24am On Feb 13, 2018
Xisnin:


So why do you think the wife beater did not send her packing?
ask him na
Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Tozara(m): 9:27am On Feb 13, 2018
Authoreety:


Women should RESPECT dia husbands!
Husbands should RESPECT their wives!

PEOPLE should RESPECT their PARTNERS!

And if one says anything to the other in anger, you shouldn't respond with slaps and punches.

And if your wife is a demon that takes delight in hurting you verbally and piercing the balloon of your ego and emotions with poison-laced needles, you should fire back at her with equally wicked words that would make her feel just as worthless and hurt----she's your wife, isn't she? You know her shortcomings, don't you? You know her failures, don't you? You know her fears, don't you? You know what hurts her, don't you? Why do you need to assault anybody?

If she thinks she's a demon that can pierce your heart with pins, you can also show her that when it comes to being devilish and petty, you yourself are a king of daredeviltry.

It's not by force to have that kind of a person in your life. It's not a must that she remains your wife.

But you mustn't hit her. The only time you have that right is when she hits you first. It's really that simple.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Authoreety: 9:34am On Feb 13, 2018
Tozara:
Husbands should RESPECT their wives!

PEOPLE should RESPECT their PARTNERS!

And if one says anything to the other in anger, you shouldn't respond with slaps and punches.

And if your wife is a demon that takes delight in hurting you verbally and piercing the balloon of your ego and emotions with poison-laced needles, you should fire back at her with equally wicked words that would make her feel just as worthless and hurt----she's your wife, isn't she? You know her shortcomings, don't you? You know her failures, don't you? You know her fears, don't you? You know what hurts her, don't you? Why do you need to assault anybody?

If she thinks she's a demon that can pierce your heart with pins, you can also show her that when it comes to being devilish and petty, you yourself are a king of daredeviltry.

It's not by force to have that kind of a person in your life. It's not a must that she remains your wife.

But you mustn't hit her. The only time you have that right is when she hits you first. It's really that simple.



puhahaha..... so u expect a man to exchange words wit his woman? My dear wake up! Men are not wired like dat grin
Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Ladyhippolyta88(f): 9:41am On Feb 13, 2018
Crizillion1:

In ur mind.
In my reality.
Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Tozara(m): 9:42am On Feb 13, 2018
Authoreety:




puhahaha..... so u expect a man to exchange words wit his woman? My dear wake up! Men are not wired like dat grin
How're you wired, and who wired you? Are you a radio? undecided

You seem to have a monumental ego. Do I expect men to exchange words with women? Because men are what? The Gods that reside on Olympus? The Ultimate Titans that don't dine with mortals?

Just remember not to complain when she decides to defend herself (the average man is naturally stronger than the female) against your monstrosity by picking up a weapon that is stronger than your fist.

By the way, I am a guy, and I don't think all men are 'wired' alike.

5 Likes

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by owoh04: 9:48am On Feb 13, 2018
I dont't know what is really wrong with our men? Is it the shithole that this country is called or what? why would you abuse a woman by beating her up? God forbid that will not be my portion in life to do that, though i have been vexed to that point. i just went out of the house, without saying anything....till today my wife respect me for that and she also thinks straight and gives me the respect i deserve.

our men should wake up...enough of this nonsense!

1 Like

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by Ladyhippolyta88(f): 9:49am On Feb 13, 2018
Xisnin and Tozara are really sensible people keep it up �.

4 Likes

Re: “domestic Violence Can’t Be Cured” – Woman As She Walks Out Of Her Marriage by uyiekpenn(m): 9:53am On Feb 13, 2018
Daisy17:


You are the uncultured one.
just like you.

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