break up? i have been trying to justify ur reason(s) for wanting to do that ! i guess, u are just fed up with the relationship and u wanna use that as a smart way to free urself from him.

My lil advice is this, if u still love him, dont even try to break up, OKAY ! look for other ways to resolve the whatever issues u might be having with him .
If i were in that guy's shoes, i might not want to consider "our" coming back together ! But, if u are fed up, why not ! take as much break as u want my dear.

The main point is, if u really do and if u still " gbadun" the guy, dont gamble with the love of your life !

Best of luck
cheers

well break in a relationship has its good and bad sides, it all depends in the maturity of both parties.
for instance, i had a break from my fiancee for about 1 year, and we still came back at the expiration of the deadline. it all depends on wat u want, wat u are trying to watch out from. if it is for selfish motives or because of a new find love it is not worth it, but if the love is geniune it will stand the test of time.
just make up your mind and talk it out between u two.

Take a break and loose your Guy! It is as simple as that.
you may not know the loss now, but latter you 'll do.
People don't appreciate what they have until the loose it.
Go on

Be sincere you want to leave the relationship and you want people to help you rationalise why its a good idea to leave.Dont worry just go ahead with your plan you dont need people to help you deciede and besides our opionion dont matter,you only want someone to help you overcome your guilt

It seem most of us decided to live like our parent why cant we think on our Relationship the way you think on your business i belived we can make the change

Business man think how is going to make is business going concern without being discourage with his failure

Relationship it part of our life span the more we grow the more we live with experience

In relationship i discover we can'nt forgive each other then why relationship?

even some men cant even say 'I'm sorry dear' are you born perfect?

and if you guy are working in one reputable company you belived you are in the best position to control your own financial budget without consult any partner.

The hope i want everybody to have is simple. Make the convenat in your mind that no matter what happen she/he will continue to be my husband/wife. If your wife was rape what will you do? most men we send her away instend to become her conforter but you will be the first enemies of her life.

If you are still in courtship you can still enjoy peace after Marriage you are living together everything we change immediately first from the speech.

We men have one greatest problem 'The Head' that word always make us to over react

but for you lady make up you mind to live happly with your crown your God gave you

Note: Religion is not Marriage

' The more you're religion the more you lose'

who wants d break u alone or both of u??one thing i'm sure of is that things will never be like it were before the break and most times it goes towards the negatives.
A break leaves more room for breakage, so what i believe is if u really like him/her,stick around and try to make things work and if u're having a "TRIPPLE" mind then call it "OVER" soonest.
cheers.

i dnt buy d idea of a break rily,well, diff strks 4 diff folks.

A break from a relationship is the most handy explanation (excuse) for someone who wants to eat his/her cake and still have it. When most people are distracted in a relationship, and they cannot resist the distraction, the next thing is to ask for a break so that 'we can give ourselves some room'.

A break-up is a definite decision taken with or without reason to end a relationship and get along with your life.

Either way, you've just got to stick your neck out and reap the benefits/losses.

why take a break?if u are in really love with the guy u won't think of taking a break let's assume the guy gives u wahala or headeache becos he luvs u or probably jealous,there are better ways of excusing urself u can just travu 4 a week or two,but if u are the type that work and can't travu then move out of the environment 4 a while and pretend 2 him that u are sent out by ur company.he will miss u like hell.but if u want 2 leave him finally,u can then tell him u want a break then during the break he will get someone else.but becareful if u still want him,don't take a break oooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HEHEHE
Hopefully he will be able to handle all those fine girls out there

@gem87,
u need a break dear,i feel you badly.relantionship is not marriage,your kids in three years marriage should be able to offset the boredom you experience with your boyfriend.
advice!!!!!!!,think of marriage now instead of further relationship.

d whole thing is complicated, and i don't know how to make everyone understand where i'm coming from,
i need this break but i still wanna keep my man, it sounds selfish, i knw.
i don't wanna be with him and keep wondering what it wld be like 2 be with someone else,
our relationship has potential, he's asked me to marry him, i'm 20 and not ready.
i still love him, just becos i wnt a brk doesnt mean i'm tired of him or anything like dat, it's more of
satisfying my curiosity, he's not happy about it but he understands, cuz it has to happen soon or later.
it's a break and we cn do whateva we want really, i know it sounds stupid but i don't mind him sleeping wiv other ppl
it ws my idea anyway, i'm not looking 4ward 2 replacing him, i just wanna grow a bit apart from him and find myself.

d whole thing is complicated, and i don't know how to make everyone understand where i'm coming from,
i need this break but i still wanna keep my man, it sounds selfish, i knw.
i don't wanna be with him and keep wondering what it wld be like 2 be with someone else,
our relationship has potential, he's asked me to marry him, i'm 20 and not ready.
i still love him, just becos i wnt a brk doesnt mean i'm tired of him or anything like dat, it's more of
satisfying my curiosity, he's not happy about it but he understands, cuz it has to happen soon or later.
it's a break and we cn do whateva we want really, i know it sounds stupid but i don't mind him sleeping wiv other ppl
it ws my idea anyway, i'm not looking 4ward 2 replacing him, i just wanna grow a bit apart from him and find myself.

Gem, pls dont go on a break because if u 'resume',things aint gonna be the same.The ball is in ur court,it's either u break up wiv him if u have any genuine reason to or u let sleeping dogs lie,
Goodluck

gem87:

d whole thing is complicated, and i don't know how to make everyone understand where i'm coming from,

You dont even understand yourself.

gem87:

i need this break but i still want to keep my man, it sounds selfish, i knw.

Not only selfish, wicked. No you dont want to keep your man, you want to reserve him for back up incase your little adventure back fires. Save the poor guy some heart ache and let him go patapata.

gem87:

i don't want to be with him and keep wondering what it would be like 2 be with someone else,

Na the koko of the matter be this! You are busy trying to see what life is like with someone else or you have met someone else. OR you both were in Nigeria before and now you've travelled out and left in naija and you want to experiment with foreign boys eh!!! Women sef na wa!

gem87:

our relationship has potential, he's asked me to marry him, i'm 20 and not ready.

Na only "potential" you see? After 3.5 yrs

gem87:

i still love him, just because i wnt a brk doesnt mean i'm tired of him or anything like that, it's more of

Tell that to the marines. Maybe the fishes may believe you.

gem87:

satisfying my curiosity, he's not happy about it but he understands, because it has to happen soon or later.
it's a break and we cn do whateva we want really, i know it sounds stupid but i don't mind him sleeping with other people
it ws my idea anyway, i'm not looking 4ward 2 replacing him, i just want to grow a bit apart from him and find myself.

YOU WILL MIND IF SOMEONE YOU TRULY LOVE SLEEPS WITH OTHER PEOPLE! That you dont mind means you stopped loving him a long time ago!
Let my people go!

@ davidylan
honestly i couldn't stop laughing, i'm really laughing and rolling on the floor.

The most amusing reply i came across yesterday . . . . . still laughing

this song is to you gem87 on behalf of ur boy friend
Take note of words in bold.

I'm missing you
Girl even though you're right here by my side
Cause lately it seems
The distance between us is growing too wide

I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over
The last thing that I wanna hear

But if your heart's not in it for real
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
If love's already gone
It's not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the whole world for you
Anything you ask of me I'd do
But I won't ask you to stay
I'd rather walk away
If your heart's not in it

You say that you love me
But baby sometimes
You're just saying the words
If you've got somethin' to tell me
Don't keep it inside
Let it be heard

I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over
Girl I'll make it easy for you

But if your heart's not in it for real
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
If love's already gone
It's not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the whole world for you
Anything you ask of me I'd do
But I won't ask you to stay
I'd rather walk away
If your heart's not in it

How I wish I could take us back in time
But it's gone too far now we can't rewind (And there's nothing that I can do
To stop me losin' you)
I can't make you change your mind (If your heart's not in it)

But if your heart's not in it for real
Please don't try to fake what you don't feel
If love's already gone
It's not fair to lead me on
Cause I would give the whole world for you
Anything you ask of me I'd do
But I won't ask you to stay
I'd rather walk away
If your heart's not in it

thats nice davidylan ! i wish that would help her !
For real gem87, getting confused wont help,okay ! u have someone else and yet, u wanna keep the guy incase the new guy turns SOUR. why dont u help urself by making amends for all the shortcomings u might be experiecing with ur guy? no relationship is hitch free my dear ! just go and resolve ur issues with u guy .

Fine, the freedom of a girl of 20 cant be compromised ! and anygirl in that age bracket would want to explore and groove that, any guy that is trying to show them love is seen as " MR CAGER" funny huh ? but thats the truth !!! my dear, concentrate on how to make things work out first and if its not working out then, back out and take a long break for like 70 years !

Just think every over and probe yourself, know what u want and go for it. keep the guy and forgo the "new guy" or forgo ur guy and go for the " new guy"

I really do wish u best of luck.
Cheers

taking a break may be good. you might really get to find out how much u love each other and how much u miss each other. but to see other people NOT SO GOOD.

To support,davidylan's poem,Gem87,look at this as well

Before you say goodbye
and walk out the door
darling think twice
let your heart make the choice

Remember our sweet nights
playing stories of delight
don't throw the memories we made
locking it in the attic to fade

Before you break my heart
and tear our moments apart
ask yourself do I want this
will I miss that kiss

Don't bring distance to our eyes
my flowers in the garden will die
before you push my hands that clutch
ask, can I forget this touch

Look back through the years
of how we hold each other dear
a life without you is miserable
to walk away from me are you able

Don't banish our beautiful life
and leave me with strife
for my soul knows only you
living in this world for you

So before you say goodbye
and walk out the door
darling, think twice
let your heart make the choice

i feel you because one of my very close friends just had a huge misunderstanding with her guy and they've taken an indefinite break which is really killing the guy.and the thing is, he caused the tiff. i think it's a sensible way to put him in check because when you guyz part for a while, he'll value you more and you guys can even chill out with others to see how truly compatible you guys are. but,girlfriend, don't overdo it.

my point exactly, i believe in letting something go and if it comes back to you, then it's really urs.
and there is no new guy, i just want to re-evaluate the whole concept of our r/ship, we've been together 4 quite some time and this break would help us realise what brought us together and things can get better b/w us.
and all of u making me sound selfish esp. the guys calling me a heartbreaker and stuff like that means u don't really understand, i don't need u to judge me but to see things from where i'm standing and try being empathic,
i hope y'all understand.

the most difficult part of a relationship is stying away, but true relationship knows no boundry in fact it comes when silence between two people is comfortable. so be comfortable when your partner seems to forget you after all everything that goes up must come down,

I don't thinkanybody has a say in this issue, all our views in this will be distorted and i strongly believe ure the only one that can answer the question,
Sweetheart, seat down, relax and think about this whole idea of yours and why you are doing it, but be objective , impartial , detached and unsympathetic.believe me thats the only way.

splurge:
i think it's a sensible way to put him in check because when you guys part for a while, he'll value you more and you guys can even chill out with others to see how truly compatible you guys are. but,girlfriend, don't overdo it.

I don't think this at all. I think it's one of the stupidest ways to lose a partner.
Guys don't want to be "put in check". They'd rather find another woman who respects them more than that!

this really isn't abt respect now is it?
and definitely not abt putting him in check,
this is me trying to find myself, is dat so wrong?

Can't you find yourself without cutting off your boyfriend completely? I guess I wouldn't know.

apparently individual bias and difference is very strong here
can't i find at least 1 person that sees things the way i do
when u don't c urself as u but as a part of some1 else 4 almost 4 yrs of ur life and at a young age
wouldn't u be at least curious to know what u stand 4 as just u and not part of some1 else?

i dont think its a good thing to break up in the first instance.

If u wanna break up aaaabegg break be4 its 2 late and if u want 2 stay with him/her make sure you are doing your possible best not 2 hurt each other.[/color]

well i will say having a break could lead to two different things.
either he gets to appricate u more cos he is gonna miss u and u too in return, and when u guys make up again it really could be intresting.
but on second tots, things may go wrong and he will blame the whole thing on u cos u started it, so my sister just give it a carefull tot. the answer is in u.