My advice 2her is this:
change your bank account. When you get paid, give your mum £500, u need to save money too. I know its a hard stance but u need to take it and stop crying. U can't take all that responsibility at your age and with both parents alive. They need to step up to their responsibility. It's just not fair how she treats you. And pls from the 400 that's yours make sure u take care of yourself, look good n attract a good man who'll deliver u frm your mum.

But most especially try prayer, it sure works!

@Purestboy:

HAba! Lets look at it from d face that her mum
suffered for her, She shouldnt do such!

@lareine:

Prayer! Yeah, it surely works. Who knows what her
mum is up to. Esp a Nigerian,

@OP
Anyways, let ur gf get a bu bank acct. Giver her mum 500
at the end of d month and is she does not agree. Tell her to
leave her mum's house. If she is not ready
to leave her mum's house, then she should continue.

And dnt board us with any story again!

SHALOM

So, she left Nigeria to go and clean train stations in London with the help of her mother?
She has been there for many years and is still working as a cleaner of train stations?
I hope she graduated from the university?
What a wasted life starting at 21.
She needs to move her butt back to Nigeria, simple.

chamotex:

I dont want to believe this story.

She pays you £10 per month and you are begging her to add another £5 per month.
What is the flipping difference?

I didnt believe in her the first place aswell but i later reason as she as never ask me for £1 before.

princekevo:

@ poster
We would like know how you got the details of thier conversation word by word. Were you your there when this conversation between mother and daughter was going on, or you made this out of what your girlfreind told you.
Am asking this to accertain the fact that your girl is telling you the truth abt the woman being her real mother, or someone one who helped her to crossover on an agreement that she would payback certain amount. A lot of this evil is goign on every where in the world now, where some ladies bring young men and women, force them into labour for some years b4 they can be free to save for themselves.

Is very difficult for a woman to use and treat her biological daughter in such manner.

She was actually complaining to me and i convince her to go talk to her mom,she was scared to but i encouraged her,we were actually talking about it on phone and i ask her no to hang up cos we were on a free weekend calls (Same Network) and i heard every conversation,

But the lattest news was that her mom called her this morning and apologise about everything she has been doing to her and begged her to endure until she finish her house in Lagos (95% complete) and everything will be fine and pending the time,she will start giving her £60 out of her salary and once the house is complete she will never ask her for her money anymore  

I believe this guys story but I think there’s something fishy.

I think the girls’ immigration status is questionable. This is prolly the reason she is unable to open a bank account in her name. This may also be the reason the wage goes to her mum’s account who in turn only gives her £10.

5am – 2pm then 5pm – 10pm……….This shift pattern is no joke.
If she is indeed a studying student (which I do not believe) how much time does she devote to her studies?

If she’s been here for 2years and working for about same time then her visa should be up for renewal.

Here’s my thought:
The girl’s hands are tied. She has no choice but to stay with mum and live by her rules. This rules out any chance of renting a room or having a life of her own.

Calling the cops is out of the question if everything above is true.
I feel really bad for this girl. I hope everything works out for her.

In uk? Damn! WITH ALL THE HUMAN RIGHTS,LIBERTY AND FREEDOM? The girl must be sillier than i think.@ post question, the girl should tell her mum "no food 4 lazy man woman and sue her (for any thing she can think of}, use the proceeds and rent a house, have her deserved rest; 5am-2pm(+add 5pm-10pm no easy na! This one na prodigality on the part of the mother.

Let dat girl research very well ,THAT WOMAN is not her mum.With £900 she can move out and stay alone.Thats when she can take care of herself and two bros.At worst call social security cops and send dat witch where she belongs.

why let her mom rule her life for her

OMO IBO:

I believe this guys story but I think there’s something fishy.

I think the girls’ immigration status is questionable. This is prolly the reason she is unable to open a bank account in her name. This may also be the reason the wage goes to her mum’s account who in turn only gives her £10.

5am – 2pm then 5pm – 10pm……….This shift pattern is no joke.
If she is indeed a studying student (which I do not believe) how much time does she devote to her studies?

If she’s been here for 2years and working for about same time then her visa should be up for renewal.

Here’s my thought:
The girl’s hands are tied. She has no choice but to stay with mum and live by her rules. This rules out any chance of renting a room or having a life of her own.

Calling the cops is out of the question if everything above is true.
I feel really bad for this girl. I hope everything works out for her.

No she has no issues with Immigration status she is on a 4yrs student visa and her mom is a british citizen (Red Passport) and she is going to renew with dependant,Infact her documents is already are the British home office for renewal. Also she is a very serious student she never miss her lectures if not i wont be bothered.

Its not about opening a new bank account infact she is using her personal bank account for her salary but her mom is with her Bank Card,as soon as she gets paid her mom withdraw her money from the ATM Machine

I hope the story is a true life story. I wonder how a twenty one years old will not know her right from left and be tossed around like a dummy. Personally i will advise she report the abuse to the police period and made the mother cough out all her money. Or else should shot up her mouth and continue the suffering and smiling

@heryyy

If you really really really love her and you're a ready for marriage, I'll suggest you marry her out of her mother's house since that seems to be the only condition for her freedom.

If she reports to the cops, I think that'll not be wise coz she gonna regret that sometime later. It's her mother that has taken care of her we're talking about here. Besides, i believe she still gets everything she needs in the house. It's a matter of time when things will naturally fall in place.

TELL HER TO KEEP PRAYING ABOUT IT AS WELL COZ THERE'S NOTHING GOD CANNOT DO. ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD FOR THEY THAT LOVE GOD.

And for those that are telling you to break up with her, I don't think that's a good idea either but if you ain't interested in her anymore, I'll advise you still stick with her until she gets out of this problem. This is simply becoz even if you tell her you ain't interested in a relationship with her thereafter, she'll really appreciate you and definitely still remain a good friend with you.

Hope this helps.

when i was younger,i would have called her names too but wisdom has taught me to watch what i say especially about the plight of others.
if we are in nice situations,i think we should just thank God for his mercies and help this girl out with some good and sincere advice.

research has shown that most abuse and especially the ones that affect our personalities late into adulthood stem from the family.
i have heard of a chick who endured incest from her father and even had to abort a baby in the process.now tell me how that kind girl wan normal.

i believe the story cos humans can be wicked and especially nigerians and rather than crucify the poster or his chick,i would advice the girl go to one of dem naija churches and tell an elder or a pastor.this is a naija problem and keep the metropolitan police out for your own sake.

heryyy:

No she has no issues with Immigration status she is on a 4yrs student visa and her mom is a british citizen (Red Passport) and she is going to renew with dependant,Infact her documents is already are the British home office for renewal. Also she is a very serious student she never miss her lectures if not i wont be bothered.

Its not about opening a new bank account infact she is using her personal bank account for her salary but her mom is with her Bank Card,as soon as she gets paid her mom withdraw her money from the ATM Machine

Ahhhhh.
In that case scratch my initial comment and maybe consider lonelydude's comment.

I think lonelydude made some sense.

hard to believe!

Whether building a house or cottage in Nigeria or not,

That aint right.

£900 a month is more than enough to get a flat in London.
The mama just dey do ojoro for am

Her mum is wicked and dat might be the reason her father left her mum.

@

4 those who think this can-not happen, think again.   I met someone with a kid who lives in her father house and all her salary goes to this man, and from there she gets here transport money.  She is not allowed to eat outside but to take food from home to office.  It's a long story, i thought it can not happen b4, but since i met the family over 2 years now,  I wonder this type of thing still happens, especially, in New York.      

@ heryyy, if she goes to church with her mum, she might need to involve their spiritual leader or any adult related to the family since her mother refused to relent her hold on her.    There are a lot of steps to revert the situations, but it need to be dealt with individually.

this story is a [size=25pt]Big Lie[/size], in this london i know,if not tell me if she is schooling, and the same time working from  5am to 2pm, and 5pm to 10pm , when the hell did she have time for her studies?
@poster, we all are not dummies

Too much talking. Call the cops along with social services immediately! If the girl dies in the line of work or some other misfortune befalls her, won't the mother find a replacement?

kabarka:

Let dat girl research very well ,THAT WOMAN is not her mum.With £900 she can move out and stay alone.Thats when she can take care of herself and two bros.At worst call social security cops and send dat witch where she belongs.

I believe you guys don't know much about Nigerian culture. The girl is Nigerian for goodness sake, and wouldn't not have the mind of a western girl to move out of her mum's house with the slightest provocation.

This is what a lot of Nigerians go through in London either in the hands of their parents or someone related to them.

10p out of 900p.that's pure wickness. no guy wil ever allow that to happen.i trust boys

(1)She must move out
(2)she must change her job--her mum will not give up without a fight because she don put sugar 4 her mum mouth. .she will threaten her and probably call d cops.
finally,she mustn't be afraid. .she got 2 be strong. . this's a risk she must take.

The story has the feel of a Nollywood script.

As unbelievable at it might seem to some, unfortunately this kinda situation happens too often among Nigerians. even in the diaspora,

It is a clear carryover from our various cultures, with our lack of respect or thought for individual liberty and freedom. That is Naijas main wahala

Kushe said it well,  but I disagree with the part about going to a pastor, Nigerian pastors are mostly products of the same Culture, in most cases they will only succeed in rationalising this nonsense or applying some stupid, religious explanation rooted in cultural respect, silly allegiance and duty, and bring out some out-of-context scripture to justify it all, they will hardly consider the individual liberty part of the situation, the same nonsense that keeps us down.

It wont be easy, but she will need to say ENOUGH, stand up to her mother and be ready to bear the consequences like an adult.

If she has endured this for two years, she might as well endure it for another two years and get her passport.
It's not like she's not being fed or sumn, all she needs to do is to get her passport and fight back.

This is more about being smart than anything else . . . let her see it as an investment into her thing.
Besides the whole rights thing is not as easy as we think it is, at the end of the day, she could deprive herself of some things for the common good, instead of raising dust that's settled for two years.

I'd advice her to just chill till her status is settled before taking any steps, because a mum this evil will prolly have a way to battle with her if push comes to shove.

eldee:

If she has endured this for two years, she might as well endure it for another two years and get her passport.
It's not like she's not being fed or sumn, all she needs to do is to get her passport and fight back.

This is more about being smart than anything else . . . let her see it as an investment into her thing.
Besides the whole rights thing is not as easy as we think it is, at the end of the day, she could deprive herself of some things for the common good, instead of raising dust that's settled for two years.

I'd advice her to just chill till her status is settled before taking any steps, because a mum this evil will prolly have a way to battle with her if push comes to shove.

Eldee, you are WICKED!!!
Wait two more years? Howwwwwwwwwww?

~Sauron~:

Eldee, you are WICKED!!!
Wait two more years? Howwwwwwwwwww?

The same way she did it for the first two years.
The only factors that have changed since then is time, so why can't she continue??

It's a chess game, she's obviously not as strong as her mum, so she needs to back down.
Once she's a dependant . . . she'll have a voice and her mum will know she has to chill.
Then she can even threaten a legal battle against her mum if she wants to reclaim all what she gave her in the past if she wants.

eldee:

The same way she did it for the first two years.
The only factors that have changed since then is time, so why can't she continue??

Naivety played a major role in the first 2 years.
Right now, she knows better so it's going to be a tad difficult for her to keep living on 10 quid per month.

It's a chess game, she's obviously not as strong as her mum, so she needs to back down.
Once she's a dependant . . . she'll have a voice and her mum will know she has to chill.
Then she can even threaten a legal battle against her mum if she wants to reclaim all what she gave her in the past if she wants.

How strong is the mum? Forcing one's daughter to work overtime = strength?

~Sauron~:

Naivety played a major role in the first 2 years.
Right now, she knows better so it's going to be a tad difficult for her to keep living on 10 quid per month.

Exactly . . . the only reason she's complaining now is because she got smart.
It'll be much more sensible to turn that naivety into wisdom not smartness.

~Sauron~:

How strong is the mum? Forcing one's daughter to work overtime = strength?

Her mum is strong, she has emotional/mental control plus the added advantage of having access to a permanent stay.
Look at the transcript . . . she is still not tough enough to challenge her mum yet, her doing it now will only result in a case of the said girl going back to beg after two weeks.