WOW, this sounds like a scene from a movie script. Lets call the movie: Slave Daughter in the UK

@poster
Dont ever encourage your girlfriend to rebel against her mother.Believe me she does not want to face the wrath of a mother.let me enumerate a few steps for her take to resolve this issue.
step 1.let her continue to appeal to her mother the same she has done,hopefully she will see reason.if not let her go to step2

step 2:I know there must be somebody there in the uk the mother 'fears' respect,maybe family member,pastor etc that she can talk to about her mothers behaviour and they can intercede on her behalf.if it fails then go to step3.

step3:let her change her bank and ask her employer to pay there.After that,let her agree with her mother how much she can be giving to her monthly.An amount that your girlfriend is comfortable with.Please let her perish the thought of leaving her mothers house now.

@ OP,

The truth still remains that the mother is her mother. She has voiced out her fears and the mother has decided to raise her monthly allowance from 10p to 60p. This in essence is the positive effect of communication.

Her moving out of the house is not the solution however, what she needs do is to try understand the picture from her mum's perspective and also let her mum see it from her perspective, with that they can reach a more mutual resolution.

Her mum reminding her of her father was due to the fact that the daughter acted in manner her mum least expected. It is natural of a Yoruba person to take you down memory lane when there is a need to correct you. Her mum has done her part on the daughter and her demanding all her salary I believe is because there is a misconception from the mum's perspective that the daughter understands and besides, doesn't need money for anything since all her needs are supplied by the mother.

All you need do is to encourage her that should she need more funds, then she should talk to her mom who I know may initially react but would sure understand. This is a family issue and should be resolved at that. It's got nothing to do with her age.

Wish you both the best.

Kenny_G:

oya give me now,

thief, na anoda thing dey ur mind

it is very possible and in fact very common and its always family members that do it

its part of what the government is trying to stop

people are traffiked and used for all sorts

she should be happy her mom isnt pimpin her out for money!!

its funny-people think its easy to just move away from ones family

its not easy- what she needs is to go to her school and get some help, or to the social

there are all sorts of charities that help people in this situation

but truth is she might have to start savin up to return to nigeria

if she cant cope with the life she has now

SHE'S BEEN CHARMED!
SHE NEEDS DELIVERANCE!

heryyy:


I just rang her phone now for permission and she insist i shouldnt cos she is too scared of her mom and doesnt wants to put her mom into any trouble,she said her mom has apologise and has promise to stop this as soon as the house is complete meanwhile she has promise to give her £60 from her salary,i am still not yet satisfied about this,she is coming to my place today,i will convince her more and i will show her this thread to read people's view and oppinion, Thanks

You can send me your number via my email in my profile. I don't want your GF's number o, i no wan make u come accuse me later say I don snatch your girl oo .

I'll call u as soon as I get r number.

Later

Am really sad about this.

wickedness of the highest order

your own mother ? too bad.

You have to mount pressure on her,

she need to do something and fast.

if need be send send her the first house rent,

she needs to pack out from the mother before

she kills her.she should open another account

as soon as she packs out.

i think she should pack out and open a new account where her salary will be paid into before she commits suicide

@OP: I don't want to start fight with you nor insult you but how did you record their conversation? Secondly I guess International students can only work 20hrs/week.

sad as this story is, it is a common phenomena, with some moms even going as far as pimping their daughters for pounds!

But the onus lies with the girl to set herself free, that is if she is really fed up, and there are so many ways to go about that since
she is not here illegally. I don't want to hear anything like she is scared of the mum, that to me is nonsense! No parent has the right to ride it rough on their wards for any reason!

@ poster, ur girl friend, needs someone like me to handle her mother! I highly detest cheating in all ramification.

This story may sound Unbelievable but damm it really happening!!!

This is the extreme side of respect for elders that occurs in the Nigerian
Culture!!!

@ Poster.

I think the story is incomplete. You mentioned somewhere that she till goes to school. Who pays her school fees? How much does her school fees come to in a year?

Before we crucify her mother, it is important we know the answers to the above questions. If her mother pays her school fees, probably from the little girl's earning, then it might make sense to "help her keep" some of her earnings. If that is really the case, then she can only reasonably ask for a pay rise to say 50 pounds. Afterall, she pays no bill, doesn't feed herself, doesn't pay her school fees etc. I am sure the colour of the story will change if we hear her mother's side of the story.

I don't want to believe that her mother is that wicked. There must be something she needs to tell us that we don't know.

na wa oh dis is serious are u sure she s telling d whole story ,

I'm just speechless with this story . A lot of crazy stuff happens in the UK involving Nigerians. You can hardly get any help or service free from Nigerians in the UK. I've heard of people who help others with papers [ loaning out NI numbers and work documents ] and end up oppressing those they have helped by deducting large amounts of money from their wages. When these unfortunate ones complain, these heartless people threaten to call the Police or Immigration officers. The irony of it all is that at the end of the day, when the oppressed ones earn their freedom, they often do better than those who've been in the UK for 15-20 years. Nigerians need to start learning that money is not everything. Life is much more than money. Many Nigerians in the UK are going through what the lady being mentioned is going through. What I will just advice the lady to do is to find a way out of the situation and learn to be independent. Though independence comes at a price, God is alive. God knows how to fight on behalf of the helpless ones. It is high time Nigerians in Britain need to change their mentality. Cheers.


www.vibes-extra..com

POSTER

I DISAGREE WITH YOUR POSTING, ON FOLLOWING,

1. HOW DID YOU GET THE CALL LOG IF YOU ARE IN NIGERIA AND SHE IS IN LONDON.

2. IF HER MUM  PAYS  HER SCHOOL FEES THEN SHE SHOULD BE GRATEFUL.

3. IT IS NOT EASY TO BE A "SINGLE-PARENT". AND HER MUM IS A "SINGLE-PARENT" RAISING THE CHILDREN WITHOUT ASSISTANCE.

SO MY ADVISE TO HER IS TO UNDERSTAND HER MUM AND KNOW THAT SHE (MUM) HAS NO EVIL AGENDA AGAINST HER.

BUT IF SHE IS NOT SATISFY WITH HER MUM, WELL SHE CAN COME BACK TO NIGERIA  TO STAY WITH HER BOY FRIEND(POSTER). MAY BE YOU WILL TREAT HER BETTER.

AND MY ADVISE  TO YOU(POSTER). A MOTHER WILL ALWAY BE A MOTHER . AND YOU CANNOT REPLACE HER(MOTHER) UNTIL YOU MARRY HER. SO STOP INSTIGATING HE HATE BETWEEN MOTHER AND DAUGHTER . IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY GOOD CONTRIBUTION TO HER LIFE  PLEASE STAY AWAY  FROM HER .

AFTER-ALL U ARE JUST LOVE SICK.

asas:

na wa oh dis is serious are u sure she s telling d whole story ,

prob not unno the naija girls in uk have plenty stories!!

my friend even told a dude she no get papers and she cant work so the dude will be payin her monthly

the cow was born here!!!lol

IF I CAN DEPEND ON THE FACTS YOU STATED ABOVE AND WITH DUE RESPECT TO THE MUM
IN YORUBA LAND
WE ALWAYS SAY ITS BETTER TO HEAR FROM ALL PARTIES BEFORE PASSING JUDGEMENTS
IS THE LADY TELLING YOU THE WHOLE TRUTH?
THE MUM CANNOT BE MALTREATING HER DAUGHTER
IF SO,
THIS MAY EXPLAIN WHY THE DAD ABANDONED THEM
AS A MAN I WILL RUN AWAY FAR FROM A WOMAN LIKE THAT
CALLOUS,SELF CENTRED,INHUMAN ,WICKED AND SELFISH
THE LADY MUST SEEK INDEPENCE LIKE NIGERIA
SEEK COUNSELLING FROM OFFICIAL QUARTERS
AS A STUDENT IS SHE ALLOWED TO WORK 5AM-2PM-- 20HRS PER WEEK.
IS THIS NOT AN ISSUE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

If her condition is true,then she must move out. .her mum has no right 2 treat her in dat manner. .she's an adult.
D mum should "request" and not by "force or manipulation". .her heart is dark. .she's  sad and got no love in her heart.
topic--ur gal is enslaving herself by being afraid. .she must take a step and break d shackles of self-willed slavery to pave way 4 a brighter future.
she can always reconcile with her mum in d future . . her mum would not reject her because blood is thicker than water.

crown22:

IS THIS NOT AN ISSUE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

NO

Child/dependent abuse is totally different from domestic violence, which can be further dissipated down.

emmatok:

POSTER

I DISAGREE WITH YOUR POSTING, ON FOLLOWING,

1. HOW DID YOU GET THE CALL LOG IF YOU ARE IN NIGERIA AND SHE IS IN LONDON.

2. IF HER MUM  PAYS  HER SCHOOL FEES THEN SHE SHOULD BE GRATEFUL.

3. IT IS NOT EASY TO BE A "SINGLE-PARENT". AND HER MUM IS A "SINGLE-PARENT" RAISING THE CHILDREN WITHOUT ASSISTANCE.

SO MY ADVISE TO HER IS TO UNDERSTAND HER MUM AND KNOW THAT SHE (MUM) HAS NO EVIL AGENDA AGAINST HER.

BUT IF SHE IS NOT SATISFY WITH HER MUM, WELL SHE CAN COME BACK TO NIGERIA  TO STAY WITH HER BOY FRIEND(POSTER). MAY BE YOU WILL TREAT HER BETTER.

AND MY ADVISE  TO YOU(POSTER). A MOTHER WILL ALWAY BE A MOTHER . AND YOU CANNOT REPLACE HER(MOTHER) UNTIL YOU MARRY HER. SO STOP INSTIGATING HE HATE BETWEEN MOTHER AND DAUGHTER . IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY GOOD CONTRIBUTION TO HER LIFE  PLEASE STAY AWAY  FROM HER .

AFTER-ALL U ARE JUST LOVE SICK.

Its obvious you didnt contrate while reading the story,i never mentioned anywhere in Nigeria,we are both together here in UK and we attend the same college.

Some yoruba girls lives under their parent, when will they grow up and be independent

This story is very pathetic, Infact which kind boyfriend u be sef,are u in the UK or naija? Honestly strange things happen in that town o and I believe u. I worked in waterloo / clapham jcn staion for16months myself doin crazy hrs as a student 7am -3pm (clapham Junction) then rush to waterloo 4pm -8pm.I almost ran mad and I would have stabbed any mother collecting that money,
This is my advice
(1) poison the woman but if she cant poison,
( b) call the cops, if she cant,
( c) open a fresh bank acc and transfer her direct debit there, tell d witch there was a problem with the company or bank and the salary didnt come in but they will pay it with the next pay schedule either next week or 2weeks time depending. Of course she will suspect foul play but she cant do nada. when the 2nd salary comes to the new acc, she should would be looking at about 450pounds and she can go and look for 1 room somewhere cheap for starters start paying 75-100 pounds weekly, ( south-east, south london etc i did it too) for those who live there forgive me, then u start ur life and think of what u want to do.
It wont be too long before the witch turns her into a prostitute and arranging her for all those irrespoible naija men in london,

Also remind her say na student visa oand if Immigration catches her doing more tha 20hrs a wk, na Murtala Muhammed Airport be dat o

machere44:

It wont be too long before the witch turns her into a love-peddler and arranging her for all those irrespoible naija men in london,

very very possible. 

ur options A nd B are off-rail,    scenario C is d best option.

Guy wise up. She dey play you.

Some mothers are mean, am not sure she's the biological mother to the girl, if not she will not treat her like dat

@ poster:

I am very familiar with this kind of stories, alot of this happens in the UK. My elder sister's case was exactly like this one but my aunt was the one in question.

The normal excuse such people give is that I paid for your fare to the UK and brought you up blah blah. This is emotional blackmail, this individuals are master manipulators, domineering, self centered lazy people who want to use other people to satisy their whims and caprices. Her mother may plead with her to make contributions to the home but she shouldnt outrightly take everything from her, Girls of her age are married with kids and so she she ought to see herself as an adult and independent. Imagine her mother telling her that she wants to finish her house in Nigeria obviously her salary if for the mother to complete her house in Nigeria not for the girls upkeep.

Your GF is obviously scared to death of her mother and that is the grip the mother has over her, Her mother is very domineering. if she doesnt want to end up depressed, bitter and frustrated, she had better leave the mother fast, whatever inconviniences she would suffer in trying to adjust to a new life on her own is nothing compared to the number of years she has being enduring this.

Tell your GF to be very bold and not allow her mother to dominate or manipulate her into being a slave. She is taking her on a guilt trip to manipulate her into be enslaved. If the mother truly loves her she would always consider that those who work so hard deserves to be paid adequately. The mother should be grateful that she has a dutiful daughter. my sister had to escape from my aunt in the end. After my sister left, the other girl she brought from Nigeria went through the same thing and was even forced to stop going to school. A word is enough for the wise

totalabi:

@ poster:

I am very familiar with this kind of stories, alot of this happens in the UK. My elder sister's case was exactly like this one but my aunt was the one in question.

The normal excuse such people give is that I paid for your fare to the UK and brought you up blah blah. This is emotional blackmail, this individuals are master manipulators, domineering, self centered lazy people who want to use other people to satisy their whims and caprices. Her mother may plead with her to make contributions to the home but she shouldnt outrightly take everything from her, Girls of her age are married with kids and so she she ought to see herself as an adult and independent. Imagine her mother telling her that she wants to finish her house in Nigeria obviously her salary if for the mother to complete her house in Nigeria not for the girls upkeep.

Your GF is obviously scared to death of her mother and that is the grip the mother has over her, Her mother is very domineering. if she doesnt want to end up depressed, bitter and frustrated, she had better leave the mother fast, whatever inconviniences she would suffer in trying to adjust to a new life on her own is nothing compared to the number of years she has being enduring this.

Tell your GF to be very bold and not allow her mother to dominate or manipulate her into being a slave. She is taking her on a guilt trip to manipulate her into be enslaved. If the mother truly loves her she would always consider that those who work so hard deserves to be paid adequately. The mother should be grateful that she has a dutiful daughter. my sister had to escape from my aunt in the end. After my sister left, the other girl she brought from Nigeria went through the same thing and was even forced to stop going to school. A word is enough for the wise

Some people on nairaland find it difficult to believe,some says i cooked up the story just to gain attention,i am glad u are also aware of this,thanks for backing me up

^^u sef,help her by taking action.

Although, a mum will always be a mum. there are times u av 2 caution them from going 2 far, otherwise they'll live ur life 4 u. Imagine d mum using d daughter's salary 2 build her personal house. That is very selfish indeed. It would av been a different thing if d mum is investing d money 4 her daughter.

from ur post, it's like ur girl friend doesnt know what she wants. her conversation with the mum reflected dat she was begging the mum for what she works for.

Let her give her mum an ultimatum. She should d state amount she can afford to give d mum conviniently. it's either she take it or leave. She should be planning her own life by now not giving under duress.i tell u, dr it nothin d mum can do to stop her once she's assertive. Working 4 2yrs would av paid her travelling xpenses.