There are lot of things a man need to have handled,  stuffs a man must concentrate his focus on ranging from skill, women, money, strategy and so on. If you are young or still in your 20s these are areas you need to focus your energy on and if older and haven't handle these things yet, it's not too late start after reading this essay.

This is not to make you feel bad about your achievement so far, in fact it's not about your feelings but about your masculinity as a man to take control and do things that can improve your life. Look at yourself and ask what areas do you need to focus more on to make your life better?

The more you focus on this 13 things the better your life will be, if your life is already great, improve on this areas to make your life awesome, maybe you have some natural talents to do some of this things but you can still improve on it. No matter your natural talent or absent of it, every man has an opportunity to improve in each areas of his life.

1. Life Mission Or Purpose:

Every Nigerian men must have a purpose, each man is driven by purpose even though they may not yet know it, with purpose he can move forward when times are good and make a resolution to get something done when things are hard.

With purpose a man is able to choose the mission that will serve his best interest, with a mission he's unstoppable. Every other things Nigerian men need to have under control can't happen without a purpose, purpose gives him the motivation to achieve all other things in his life.

2. Master Pick Up Artistry:

A man must be able to bring new woman into his life, approach her, talk and ask her out on a date and escalate things to sexual intercourse with plenty pretty girls. This skill of meet, date and sleep with women is a sin qua non for every man.

You need to know this things whether you want to spin plates like a perfect bachelor until 50 years or just want one perfect girl at a time to settle down in a long term relationship LTR with to last the rest of your life, you must be able to understand the art of pick up, dates, game, staying attractive and be in control.

You must know that your knowledge of game will make it easier to approach her without analysis paralysis, no fear of rejection or what she would say but knowing that regret for not trying is better than been rejected. You will also be able to unplug yourself from sexual precondition (http://www.themencode.com.ng/2017/12/08/unplugged-inter-sexual-conditioning/), the false believes that been nice, defending her, liking her profile pictures, offering her unearned compliments, been her yes man will make her attracted to you. Opposite attract, attraction don't come from agreeing with her even especially when it's something you will never accept from anyone. Never compromise and don't fall for her sh*it tests.

Pick up artistry will also help you know how to keep the frame (http://www.themencode.com.ng/2017/10/08/the-frame/) and be in control of your relationship, staying attractive and making her to know and believe she can be replace by another woman will make her happy and want to remain with you. Every woman want a man other women want.

But if you loose your frame and make her believe your life depend on her and you can't get another woman like her, you make her to loose respect for you and gradually become the one in control, she will decide to cheat (http://www.themencode.com.ng/2017/09/24/game-will-cheat/) on you sooner than later and use your/her money to take care of the 'toy boy'.

Whatever your purpose is with women, the ability to meet and be with the prettiest girl is a skill you must have as a man. Every man deserved the best when it comes to women, never tell yourself you need A or B, or she's busy and I will approach at the right time. Game is observing a woman litany of behaviors and using the learned observations to get her open her vaginal for you.

For example when a woman say 'she is busy' (http://www.themencode.com.ng/2018/01/18/facebook-twitter-instagram-ego-inflated-pussy-value-woman-shes-busy/)or say anything at all that's false, her iris move lift or left up. If she's ovulating she's more prone to have sex and you may not need to work harder to get laid. This is just a few of the signs..A man who understands, able to read the signs and carefully applying it in relating to women is Game aware. This also erode the false notion that 80% of men have that they need to have A or B to get a 'hot chick'.

Just going for it is what separate the few 20% of men who get the pretty girls from the remaining 80% of weaker men who offer litany of reasons for not trying to get the girl they assume she is out of his league, fortune favors the brave and perception is reality.

3. Keeping a Woman For Long Term Relationship:

Ability to approach women, getting a date and escalating to your penis in her vagina is half of the skill and not the same as keeping a relationship. You cold be a good pick up artist but lack the skill to keep her for the long run.

There comes a time in a man's life that you may become tired of swooping new girls everyday to your bed and without the skill to keep a woman you may realized that you cannot just also get them into relationship easily. The excitements fades away overtime of been able to pull and bed new girls and you want to move to the next phase of your life.

Many dating books and website, only teach men how to approach and get a woman have sex with them but none teaches him how to keep her, maintain and keep the frame in the relationship. To master how to keep woman in a LTR requires skill,  how you can know if a woman is fit for what you want in a relationship to avoid conflict of interest down the road, escalate the pretty girl you sleep with in the first date into a relationship and make her stick around, maintaining frame in the relationship, meeting her needs including fuc*king her so good (http://www.themencode.com.ng/2017/12/12/seventeen-commandment-pussy-download-rule-15-exclusive-details/).

4. Money Making Skills:

Every Nigerian man need to have a skill he can exchange for money, something people will pay you for and this is different from your 'education' or 'career'. This two have values but not enough and a man can do without them (some men have certificate locked up). Your job can be taken by Artificial Intelligence or done by other machines, and if your education is theoretical you will have to get a job to earn a living.

A money making skill is something you know how to do and people will pay you for it, this skills could be referred to as 'handwork' like engineering, electricians, carpenters, plumbers, graphic designers, programmers, writers, architects, graphic designers, copywriters etc. Some of this handwork are easier to make money than others.

After high school in 2002, I learned barbing and hairstyling while waiting for admission and after my university in 2010 acquires skill in software and mobile development and also getting trained by the best in the information marketing business, Dr. Sunny Ojeagbase in 2008 IMBW 4, (publisher of Complete Sport and Success Digest newspapers) and in the last 3 years I have been learning more about inter sexual dynamics and basically I blog about my knowledge, truth be told I make more money from my skills building software, website, marketing/funnel sites, mobile development, copy-written, SEO, content creation and social media marketing than my job.

Whatever skill you wish to acquire outside your education and career depend on what you like to do or already doing and how you want to scale it up for the price you want to be paid.

5. Stay Out Of Debt:

As a young Nigerian man in his early twenties, it's okay if you want to invest your money in getting degree or a career certification, learning a skill/handwork because this can set you up for life, because there's no guarantee of a job after getting an educational degree but a learned skill could be another source of income for you.

Spending your money to get what's trending, be everywhere wearing the latest fashion in vague, just basically enjoying yourself without thinking about the financial implications on your future, like the saying “enjoy yourself while are young” as it consequences.

The important thing to know is not get caught up in the young fun moments of your life, when you're in your 30s you need to get a hold of your finance and maintaining a stable budget in order to stay away from debt, this way you will not owe that woman selling in a small kiosk next to your house. Reduce expenses on frivolous things, when you're young you can be forgiven but in your 30s families and friends expect such an enormous responsibility from you and as a man that want to be respected, you must own your life and take responsibility (http://www.themencode.com.ng/2017/10/25/masculinity-makes-man-man/) for your action no matter the outcome.

6. Develop An Habit:

When you're young, in your twenties you may still fumble and stumble about what you want to do with your life, in your 30s you should have developed an habit to help you get to where you want to be, this habit is how you do or fail to do the things that will take you to the place you want for yourself in life.

You may develop an habit on how often you will be hitting the gym or maybe getting some local tools for workout in your backyard, maybe on working out to reduce your pot belly and body weight, going out regularly to meet new girls, meeting set goals/target on your work, reading self help books that add value to your life.

You need habit to get things done in your life, every man has a willpower but that power is limited and you can easily get distracted but what differentiate strong, stable men who achieve and build their way to the top fast from weak and unstable men who drift away and get little things done are their habits.

Masculine men build their way to the top, they create a system of habit to help them achieve their goal and achieve a lot from life. Weaker men have habits but it's to serve their short term enjoyment and procrastinate over the long term goals.

Every successful man maintain an habit to get them at the top, in hard times habits keep your going because 'old habits die hard', a man must set up new habits on things he want to achieve in life.

7. Need A Tribe:

A Nigerian man in his 30s should at that stage have a very close tribe or group of like minded friends you can talk to regularly, eat with, can count on and rely on. In your twenties your friends may change from time to time, and you may change locations, or even travel abroad, change your hobbies and at the same time all your friends will also change too.

So in your 30s, it's time for you to start building your inner cycle of similar interest of men moving in the same direction or trajectories of accomplishment. Every man needs a tribe to counsel him, back you up when down, steady you in times of severe pressure, and give you a sense of belonging to reassure you the path you are on is worth it.

Every man need other men to keep his sanity in check, it doesn't matter if you're a loner or an introvert, you need another to have your back. You can have a great idea but if you are moving with people not on the same frequency, you will not achieve your potential. Surround yourself with those on the same trajectory with you.

8. Overcome Rejections And Just Take Action:

Many Nigerian men must learn to have the ability to overcome rejection and accept that rejections are better than regret (http://www.themencode.com.ng/2017/11/16/isolators-rejection-better-regret/). The fear of approach, procrastination, waiting for the right moment come from the place of fear of been rejected. See a beautiful woman that captures your imagination and would like talk to?

Never worry about what could go wrong or wait for the perfect time to approach, just go ahead and say hello. If you're on a date, why worry about what to say or what could go wrong but take all the time to enjoy yourself and see how she responds.

Why worry if you can perform or come hard when a beautiful girl is lying in your bed, just enjoy the moment and let your body take care of things itself. You can lift that weight, strive harder to accomplish your goal if you're able to overcome rejections and just do what you need to do.
9. Empathy With Other Men:

This is you been able to get inside the head of another man to understand how and what he feels, not to sympathized or feel sorry for him but to see things the way he see things, understand his beliefs without judging him.

Empathy helps a man to understand every one around him, when he see other people accuse or attacks others because of their views or opinions/beliefs, he understand that the real problem is people not showing empathy. He could understand why other men think the way the they think, behave and see things differently.

A man become a superpower if he can develop his empathy to a level where he can understand opposite views to his own without judgment or dismissal of the other person, this will make the world make more sense to him and eliminate the fear many men face today. He is able to see reason with the other person view, and think if he was the other person with the same experience and environment, he would feel or behave the same way.

10. Have a Game Plan or Strategy:

Nigerian men must have a strategy to get things done, some men handle things with full force and go straight to attack their opponent and keep them away from the get-go, some other men take sometime to fortify their position before attacking their opponent and some men do it slowly and gradually eliminate their opponent one piece at a time.

Once you know a man's game plan, you will discover he applies it to his dating, business, learning skills and habit formation, every effective man have a grand strategy he follows in every situations he finds himself. When many men are confuse, the man with a strategy carefully look for ways to apply his strategy to overcome any challenges.

Every strategy works in any situation, the man only need to readjust it to suit the new challenge. Man with a strategy to handle things with full force at the very beginning in dating will want to approach women fast without hesitation, no time for analysis paralysis, he just go ahead and do it. Same strategy can be applied in areas of your life to avoid procrastination. Once you mastered the act of a strategy successfully, you can go ahead to learn other strategies that may be suitable for other areas of your life.

You can learn strategy by reading book that talks about military, war etc. You can also master strategy naturally from experience in the different areas of life like dating, business, career etc. Videos games that require strategy to play are also good way to learn strategies.

11. Learn How To Physically Defend Yourself:

Nigerian men must know how to defend themselves and others when necessary, with great masculine body from physical training you serve as a deterrent to possible attackers who will see you and notice your fighting ability. Physical defense ability makes you confidence of yourself, men respect your body build up and make you look more attractive to women.

You can get a coach at the gym or watch a lot of free videos on Youtube on self defense training and perform the ones you are capable of that suit your body system. For me, working out could help in this area. A man must also learn when not to fight even when provoked, the idea of self defense is for you to defend yourself in danger and not to show your strength by punching anyone who provoked you.

Ego is the problem, do not let your ego get in the way because when you fight you could punch the person in the wrong place and create problem for yourself, always better to walk away when your life is not in danger.

The confidence of knowing that you can hold yourself in a fight and no one can just pound on you in a club just because you're talking to his girl. You are more empowered to go for what you want in any gathering without being too afraid.

12. Look Good With Fashion And Style:

Women dress to appear beautiful but a man dressing is a show of strength, confidence, control and in charge, don't let a woman decide your dressing style or how you dress. The clothes makes the man, your dressing is how you put yourself across to the world. Your clothes don't need to be expensive but you need to be conscious of what you wear because it affect how people perceive you.

Your dressing could form the way people see you as powerful or rich not because you’re wearing an expensive outfit but the choice of clothes you're putting on. It require a skill to know how to put on outfits that have a special effect on the people who see you wear them.

13. Fight And Beat Your Inner Demons:

Many Nigerian men have so many vices like smoking, alcohol addiction, gambling/betting, video games, pornography and some run away from responsibility. They get woman pregnant and run away, if you do crime, you must be ready to do the time. Others take advantage of other people and thrive on their expense.

A man's mission in life must include rising above his vices and become the man he set out to be and not affected by his vices. Your demons may feel good while you are at it, but it limit you and prevent you from achieving any progress acquiring a skill and other things you want to do in life. You may have seen people who could not complete schooling, learning a skill because their vices got in the way.

You may not be able to put off vices away from your life but you can create an environment that reduces your chances of engaging in it. Build an habit that reduce your proximity to your vices, if you smoke and drink a lot, you can stay away or reduce your frequency of visit to the bars or anywhere cigarette and alcohol are sold. No man can reach his full potential with so many burden of vices.

It's a rare freedom for any man to have all this things under control, no one can absolutely have it all, you may have money issues handled and famous yet fail in relationship and be cheated on or have problems that lead to divorce. You may also have a good career but fail to meet the target set for you by your organization and you could be fired any time.

One thing is certain, you have time to figure things out, to get things handled and you don't need to master everything or any one of them but you should have it under control or handled.

PS: Consider visiting our blog www.themencode.com.ng for more life awakening essays. By the way our blog is now live and we're NEVER GOING OUT OF STYLE.

Nice one but you should change the picture!

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flora my flowa... If nothing lasts forever, me and you go be nothing forever oo.

ralphyoung123:
Great post, just that many African and Nigerian Men are too stupid to understand or even work on ur advice, blacks are so backwards men.

smh, are you serious? this is uncalled for..

mhizenugu:
smh, are you serious? this is uncalled for..

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ralphyoung123:
I don't think it is ur business what men discuss among themselves, let it be a man that says it is uncalled for. And why do u think this thread doesn't have many likes, that is because our men don't understand or value the Op brilliant post

Stfu, I have every right as much as you to comment on any thread I so wish. This is a public forum. Not a men's forum!

mhizenugu:
Stfu, I have every right as much as you to comment on any thread I so wish. This is a public forum. Not a men's forum!

Ok, suit urself

Hmm.