missbronze:
For christ's sake, this is marriage we are talking about. You dont expect him to throw his marriage away just like that. You fix things not throw it away.

If everybody keeps moving on like you adviced.., what do you think will be fate of marriages?

I give op kudos for thinking of reconcilation. Divorce should never be an option in marriage. You work things out with all you have untill your partner says No.

Pipedreams:


African mentality...U care about your image to society I doubt you really love ur wife..Fake smiles to the public eyes then die inside the house...shior. I'm sure our from Anambra. Nmayi si

Lexusgs430:


They really do..... They simply add petrol to the burning fire, rather than look at burning issues, they start quoting scriptures and expect the woman to succumb.......

missbronze:
For christ's sake, this is marriage we are talking about. You dont expect him to throw his marriage away just like that. You fix things not throw it away.

If everybody keeps moving on like you adviced.., what do you think will be fate of marriages?

I give op kudos for thinking of reconcilation. Divorce should never be an option in marriage. You work things out with all you have untill your partner says No.

Lexusgs430:


Is she willing to reconcile? Has any of you stretched out the olive branch previously? Do you have any kids? Has any external family members/3rd party person tried to intervene? Do you have kids? Have you supported your kids or her during this period (assuming you have and they are with her)? Do you have kids Has either of you worked on your communication skills and inter-personal relationship skills? Have you/her sought counselling (not from a pastor or imam, but a professional councellor)?

Deprofessional:



I love my wife beyond words. I won't allow pride to destroy my marriage.

Yes, my image in the society matters to me. I'm not a mad man. Mad men don't consider their image to the society.

In my next life, I still want to be married to my beautiful wife who is endowed with a spirit of forgiveness.

My woman always tell me that my humility sweeps her off her feet.

I'm from Abia state bro. We don't joke with our women.

KOPT33:


Who said things cannot be thrown away?

Marriage is a social construct and can be done away with, any time anyday.

missbronze:
Each to his/her own.

What you belive in.., is what works for you.

But, in this case, op wants his marriage back. Lets advice him in line with that.

EgunMogaji:


So what it’s marriage?

He doesn’t deserve to be happy in his life? Continue to be an emotional footwear to a basically stranger?

Waste of complete time after 4 months.

Pipedreams:


Why didnt the wife call? She is not submissive and humble. My two cents. OP If u call that lady her and her family will insult and laugh hard at you. Your a man..Men arent weak. Man up boy!!!

EgunMogaji:


So what it’s marriage?

He doesn’t deserve to be happy in his life? Continue to be an emotional footwear to a basically stranger?

Waste of complete time after 4 months.

Pipedreams:


Tell that to the birds. We know how e dey go..Ur type can die in silence in an abusive relationship then kaput in silence also just in the name of a silly image to protect

heendrix:


oga goan sit down jare....weytin you sabi

if you Even ask him either he has a GF,No

heendrix:


guy which one be ur own na

if hin nor get kids na you wan give am

Pipedreams:


Why didnt the wife call? She is not submissive and humble. My two cents. OP If u call that lady, her and her family will insult and laugh hard at your silly ass. After all the gra gra na u come beg. This will give her the upper hand to insult you at will in future afterall she will say she dey her papa house jejely dey enjoy and na u come disturb am with ur begging. If that woman is ur God given wife 3days will not pass she will call you and be begging and crying. she is prideful or shagging another man. ur a man..Men arent weak. Man up boy!!!

missbronze:
Yea, waste of time you called it, yet, he still wants that marriage back.?

His marriage is making him unhappy according to you.., yet, he still wants it back.

Shoudnt we advice him in line with what he wants? why ask him to let go?

doreto:
We are presently separated for 4 months with no contact/communication.The separation was not related to trust issues,but miscommunication,insults and the likes,no violence.

While I am in a great place emotionally,I want to attempt to reconcile our relationship.

I need ideas.Is it possible? If it is,has any one here seen a case of reconciliation after a deep marital separation? Please share with me.

Thanks.

Deprofessional:



Guy believe me, if you don't change your attitude and orientation, it will be difficult for you to live with any woman, even an angel.

Please, I advice you to consider making new friends. Your present friends are a bad influence on you.

EgunMogaji:


He directly asked for my opinion and I obliged.

If OP is aged enough to be married then he can read all of our individual opinions and select one that matches his own ideology.

I say again, if the OP goes back into this fractured relationship then all he’s doing is setting up deck chairs on the titanic.

Pipedreams:


Oh wise Egunmogaji! He is arranging a pack of cards in a tornado

doreto:

Wow! Wisdom in one post.

EgunMogaji,always succinct.

Pipedreams:


F**K off man boy!

EgunMogaji:


He directly asked for my opinion and I obliged.

If OP is aged enough to be married then he can read all of our individual opinions and select one that matches his own ideology.

I say again, if the OP goes back into this fractured relationship then all he’s doing is setting up deck chairs on the titanic.

Deprofessional:
Immediately after my wedding 7 years ago, my mother called me one night and gave me a piece of advice that has kept me a happily married man.

My mother told me never to allow any problem or disagreement with my wife to linger for a long time.

She told me that I should always make a move to reconcile with my wife even if she is the one at fault.

According to my mother, people will see me as not capable of holding my family together if my marriage fails.

There are times I will shout, scold and use bad words on my wife, but before the next day, I will make reconciliation moves. I will apologize, kiss and even make love to her.

With this strategy, my family lives in happiness.

What works for my family may not work for yours.

But from your post I can see ego and pride in you. Nothing kill marriage like ego and pride.


And please don't ever think that the next woman is better than your wife.

Mariangeles:
Nothing kills a relationship faster than lack of communication.
Lack of communication kills connection between spouses...I wouldn't want to be reconciled with you if I were your wife!

Modified: You couldn't even take charge of your relationship as a man!

missbronze:
Nope. He asked your opinion on how to reconcile with his wife. He didnt ask you if "he should reconcile with his wife".

"factured relationship" you called it? because of seperation of 4months?

What of those that are seprated for yrs and still come back together?

What of ex's that go their seprate ways for yrs and still come back to get married?

Did it ever occur to you all this while they are seprated.., they might have done self examination and realise where they erred against each other? and willing to make ammendment.

EgunMogaji:


4 months as a female free agent in that your Naija? And pissed off at her husband?

Okay o.

I won’t take that bet in Vegas, not even drunk

doreto:
Better to just stay one's lane after reading all these news of murders by spouses.I am so scared.

Pipedreams:


Bro marriage hard especially with nigerian ladies..There mentality is really bleeped up. its only a white or non nigerian wey fit love you genuinely...Most of the ladies just want the glam glam of wedding and not marriage. OP ur wife never call u for 4months and u tink dats a wife thats meek?? Bro better women boku..forget that woman.

doreto:
We are presently separated for 4 months with no contact/communication.The separation was not related to trust issues,but miscommunication,insults and the likes,no violence.

While I am in a great place emotionally,I want to attempt to reconcile our relationship.

I need ideas.Is it possible? If it is,has any one here seen a case of reconciliation after a deep marital separation? Please share with me.

Thanks.