BellaElla:


I tell you.
Wetin be miscommunication sef?
I no like the way wey you dey talk to me?
Abi You dey talk I no dey hear you?
Abi I dey talk you no dey hear me?
Abi you too talk?
Abi you no dey talk?
Abeg make person clear me biko.
Fickle people entering fickle marriages everywhere.

I tell you somtin, you come tink sey na anoda tin I mean, and you sef no kukuma cool down to query me wetin i min by di tin wey I tok, you com read opposite meaning. E com dey cause wahala, and the only solution na to separate.

Really fickle and immature people.

Lexusgs430:


Very true Oga..... Reconciliation requires a dual approach, both parties must be willing to sit down and talk. No reconciliation if only one party is the only person stoking the fire........

The problem is who will make the first move. I think the op should send an sms to her just to test the waters before proceeding.

doreto:
Better to just stay one's lane after reading all these news of murders by spouses.I am so scared.

Better go get your wife if you still love her.

Theflint1:
It's crazy really, society has never been this bad.

And it is going to get worse.

Miscommunication, insults and the likes? And who is the victim? You? Your wife?
I feel you are holding back vital information that will help analyze your situation properly.
Anyhow anyhow, good luck to you.

doreto:
Better to just stay one's lane after reading all these news of murders by spouses.I am so scared.

You're so scared and yet you are here talking about reconciliation

Have you addressed what is causing your fears

@Op, which form of marriage did you contract?
How old are you? How old is your wife?
Have you been trying to have babies together?
Is your wife working? What kind of job is she doing?
Are her parents still married or separated too?
Do you know her closest friends?
Where has she been since you were separated?

ezugegere:
@Op, which form of marriage did you contract?
How old are you? How old is your wife?
Have you been trying to have babies together?
Is your wife working? What kind of job is she doing?
Are her parents still married or separated too?
Do you know her closest friends?
Where has she been since you were separated?

If you ask me...na who i go ask?

Pipedreams:


We in the same shoes. I am seperated fro 3months. No one has called each other, No kid. I was grossly emotional abused by her and her family, lied against and mentally fcked. If she cares about me or the marriage she would have contacted me and begged with her family. But they forming island posh. Make dem go marry there pikin, make another woman run my race. Fia fia

I see ego on your part. Be humble...you learn and go far in life.

Pipedreams:


We in the same shoes. I am seperated fro 3months. No one has called each other, No kid. I was grossly emotional abused by her and her family, lied against and mentally fcked. If she cares about me or the marriage she would have contacted me and begged with her family. But they forming island posh. Make dem go marry there pikin, make another woman run my race. Fia fia

chai see human being, I don laff tire

Pipedreams:


We in the same shoes. I am seperated fro 3months. No one has called each other, No kid. I was grossly emotional abused by her and her family, lied against and mentally fcked. If she cares about me or the marriage she would have contacted me and begged with her family. But they forming island posh. Make dem go marry there pikin, make another woman run my race. Fia fia

If she truly care
She would reach out to U even if na hi or call with a private no

Mr man move on with your life and forget the dead marriage!

If you KNOW the person you married very well and you convincingly wish to have her back, you can do it with or without 3rd person(s).
Firstly, trace the cause of the problem and frantically resolve that. If the issue is monetary, then I ll advise you sort that out while you keep in touch with her.

Under 4 months separation you don't know your wife's whereabout again;if this is a joke better stop it..don't you know her family's house ? Go and beg her parents to help you beg her ...

doreto:
We are presently separated for 4 months with no contact/communication.The separation was not related to trust issues,but miscommunication,insults and the likes,no violence.

While I am in a great place emotionally,I want to attempt to reconcile our relationship.

I need ideas.Is it possible? If it is,has any one here seen a case of reconciliation after a deep marital separation? Please share with me.

Thanks.

Something is not right here. If I were you I would moved on because your wife supposed to atleast try to call you since then but since she didn’t called why trying to make peace with her since she already moved on or maybe she is in love with another man.

So what advise precisely have you given? Sometimes, "I too know" kills faster then AIDS.

Ishilove:
'Miscommunication' and boom! Separation. Smh

People of nowadays don't know the meaning of marriage. They just jump in and jump out like they are playing jump rope. It is no longer sacred or till death do part.

They just like the razzmatazz of pre-wedding pictures and the glitz and glamour of weddings, which is why when storm hits the so-called marriage it collapses like a pack of cards because of faulty foundation. 80% of people getting married nowadays are not emotionally ready for the rigours of marriage

Call her since u want to reconcile. Beg her if possible, there is no shame in it. It doesn't make you a lesser man, neither does it make her a super woman.
We humans just have a way to complicate a simple life.

Immediately after my wedding 7 years ago, my mother called me one night and gave me a piece of advice that has kept me a happily married man.

My mother told me never to allow any problem or disagreement with my wife to linger for a long time.

She told me that I should always make a move to reconcile with my wife even if she is the one at fault.

According to my mother, people will see me as not capable of holding my family together if my marriage fails.

There are times I will shout, scold and use bad words on my wife, but before the next day, I will make reconciliation moves. I will apologize, kiss and even make love to her.

With this strategy, my family lives in happiness.

What works for my family may not work for yours.

But from your post I can see ego and pride in you. Nothing kill marriage like ego and pride.


And please don't ever think that the next woman is better than your wife.

doreto:
Answers to your questions:
We've not communicated since the incidents,I do not know her state of mind in terms of reconciling.I guess I want to discover that as well if I finally implement your ideas.No kids yet,so no need for family support.

I had taken the decision,on my part,not to contact her all this while.Apparently,that feeling was mutual.The separation was a confusing scenario to me and I hoped to understand it better if given time and patience.I believe there were third party movers for it,based on lies against me on her part.

I also advised some who wanted to make peace initially to shelve the ideas while I get the bearing on the issues emotionally.I am there now.

I am thinking - this is really difficult,it's been a painful period for me - that contacting and communicating with her will be the test of whether those ingredients as you mentioned are now present.I haven't talked to any counsellors about the issues or my thoughts yet.

You seem like a difficult person!

The problem with the two of you is Agidi!
You're too stubborn.
If you love each other one of you or both have to learn to give in, be the bigger "man".

If it's not a case of infidelity and you don't know how to talk to you woman, then I just have to ask, what exactly did yall do during courtship cos yall don't seem to understand each other.

doreto:
We are presently separated for 4 months with no contact/communication.The separation was not related to trust issues,but miscommunication,insults and the likes,no violence.

While I am in a great place emotionally,I want to attempt to reconcile our relationship.

I need ideas.Is it possible? If it is,has any one here seen a case of reconciliation after a deep marital separation? Please share with me.

Thanks.

Dont make it obvious that you want a reconciliation or she will always rub it in your face, that sebi you were the one begging me to come back. Involve an elder in your family or your pastor. The elder will be the one to call the two of you. Pls dont call her directly.

Deprofessional:
Immediately after my wedding 7 years ago, my mother called me one night and gave me a piece of advice that has kept me a happily married man.

My mother told me never to allow any problem or disagreement with my wife to linger for a long time.

She told me that I should always make a move to reconcile with my wife even if she is the one at fault.

According to my mother, people will see me as not capable of holding my family together if my marriage fails.

There are times I will shout, scold and use bad words on my wife, but before the next day, I will make reconciliation moves. I will apologize, kiss and even make love to her.

With this strategy, my family lives in happiness.

What works for my family may not work for yours.

But from your post I can see ego and pride in you. Nothing kill marriage like ego and pride.


And please don't ever think that the next woman is better than your wife.

African mentality...U care about your image to society I doubt you really love ur wife..Fake smiles to the public eyes then die inside the house...shior. I'm sure your from Anambra. Nmayi si

Praktikals:

Dont make it obvious that you want a reconciliation. Involve an elder in your family. The elder will be the one to call the two of you. Pls dont call her directly.

Wrong advise. Elder no dey there when dem marry. The two of them can resolve this if they both want to. If one person no gree the oda waka. No b by force.

Op, i will advice you to be humble enough to put a call across to her first, requesting to see her. Her response will determine your next step. Be open and honest about your desire for reconciliation. I am pretty sure you will then know if she is ready for it. You can as well reach me if you need more information as regarding this type of problem.
I wish you a successful reconciliation!

EgunMogaji:


Seriously!

4 months separation and he’s still talking about reconciliation

You guys give men a bad rap with women.

Move on already, use the experience here to make sure that your next relationship is based on solid foundation.

For christ's sake, this is marriage we are talking about. You dont expect him to throw his marriage away just like that. You fix things not throw it away.

If everybody keeps moving on like you adviced.., what do you think will be fate of marriages?

I give op kudos for thinking of reconcilation. Divorce should never be an option in marriage. You work things out with all you have untill your partner says No.

Iolo:


Wrong advise. Elder no dey there when dem marry. The two of them can resolve this if they both want to. If one person no gree the oda waka. No b by force.

Gbam! I never believe in bringing 3party, If e no work e no work...If she doesnt listen to you. and reason with you .then no be ur wife be dat

doreto:
We are presently separated for 4 months with no contact/communication.The separation was not related to trust issues,but miscommunication,insults and the likes,no violence.

While I am in a great place emotionally,I want to attempt to reconcile our relationship.

I need ideas.Is it possible? If it is,has any one here seen a case of reconciliation after a deep marital separation? Please share with me.

Thanks.

Nothing kills a relationship faster than lack of communication.
Lack of communication kills connection between spouses...I wouldn't want to be reconciled with you if I were your wife!

Modified: You couldn't even take charge of your relationship as a man!

With the way all these s.hit marriages are going, I may never get married, or I will be a serial monogamist.

E no go bad make I marry six times.

Each marriage like 5 years or less. Nobody got time for all the heartaches.

Fuc.k marriage!

missbronze:
For christ's sake, this is marriage we are talking about. You dont expect him to throw his marriage away just like that. You fix things not throw it away.

If everybody keeps moving on like you adviced.., what do you think will be fate of marriages?

I give op kudos for thinking of reconcilation. Divorce should never be an option in marriage. You work things out with all you have untill your partner says No.

Who said things cannot be thrown away?

Marriage is a social construct and can be done away with, any time anyday.

KOPT33:
With the way all these s.hit marriages are going, I may never get married, or I will be a serial monogamist.

E no go bad make I marry six times.

Each marriage like 5 years or less. Nobody got time for all the heartaches.

Fuc.k marriage!

Bro marriage hard especially with nigerian ladies..There mentality is really bleeped up. its only a white or non nigerian wey fit love you genuinely...Most of the ladies just want the glam glam of wedding and not marriage. OP ur wife never call u for 4months and u tink dats a wife thats meek?? Bro better women boku..forget that woman.

Pipedreams:


African mentality...U care about your image to society I doubt you really love ur wife..Fake smiles to the public eyes then die inside the house...shior. I'm sure our from Anambra. Nmayi si

What exactly is your problem? You are willing to let go of your marriage.., the person you quoted isnt willing to let go of his own. He puts his pride aside, listens to his mum for his marriage to work.

Leave him alone pls, Everyone cannot be like you.

doreto:

Wow! Wisdom in one post.

EgunMogaji,always succinct.

the person that gave you this advice is married and living with his wife, you are saying wisdom. anyone can give advice that sounds sweet but at the end of the day you will be the one to live with the consequences, you know where the shoe is pinching you, you know how easy or not it is for you to live alone, you know what truly happened in that relationship. there is no pride in love, if you want her back contact her and pour your heart out without pride so that you will know in your heart that you tried, also please listen to her and try to see things from her perspective (it's very hard to do this and i'm still learning). if things still don't work out then move on with your lessons and I pray God puts a smile on your face soonest.