Saff:
Yeah but just to be safe, for numerous reasons it’s better to avoid sex on the first date when you don’t know the guy well.

Yes you're right, we are just a thousand kilometres apart but still took my time (10 months) to know the person am dealing so well before I decided to meet him and with that I was able to be convinced that he deserves every part of my body. Though sex is somehow over rated, if doesn't work out then automatically we've never met. I don't dwell in the past gat to move on asap.

donstan18:



I respect the fact the you sensibly and logically opposed and countered my opinion.

But I strongly believe you didn't understand some part in my comment, had it been you comprehensibly invested on the last past of my scribblings and buttressed opinion, you would have understood the reason prompting my stances, the problem and reasons are African society and mentality, I maybe part of the society, hence the change starting from me, but some sexual ideology has ruined us and might take a hell of decades to erase it. That's the truth.

Below is my comment.


I never called a lady who sleeps with men on their first date a slut because she's a slut, but because of what and how our society view sexual encounters between both genders.

In Africa, a lady sleeping with a man on their first date is abnormal, it sounds weird to a third party and that's the truth. You may be different but MUST be on the minor side of those who v'got that mentality.

A lady who sleeps with a man on their first date will be considered a slut because that act can be seen as an example of a loose woman which correlate with the definition of slut.

bro, let me help you understand why i believe you are misled by society (and its oulook on this isuue).

A) lets say you meet a gal via FB/Insta/tinder or any other social media, and therefore communicate with this babe for a few months...before you guys decide to meet (when you understand that you are passionate about one another). would you still consider this babe a slut if/when you finally meet and have sex on the 1st date?!

B) you meet a babe, and on the 1st date, you end up staying the whole day together and at the end of that day, you ask her to marry you.... she says yes and you guys have beautiful sex that evening. would you still consider her a slut?

C) and here is the important part... if you (as a man) do exactly the same thing a slut is doing, do you consider yourself BETTER THAN A SLUT, simply because society does not look down on your actions?!? remember, i am asking how do YOU feel about yourself, not what society feels about you, since what is important here is YOUR own view.

MrBrownJay1:

bro, let me help you understand why i believe you are misled by society (and its oulook on this isuue).

A) lets say you meet a gal via FB/Insta/tinder or any other social media, and therefore communicate with this babe for a few months...before you guys decide to meet (when you understand that you are passionate about one another). would you still consider this babe a slut if/when you finally meet and have sex on the 1st date?!

This instance is a different ball game, the relationship has being built, you both aren't strangers anymore, there has being an introduction of familiarity in this case, get my point.

How about asking "When you meet a lady today, ask her for a date today and get down with her on bed today" this would have being a good question, not when you both must have known some things about each other.

MrBrownJay1:

B) you meet a babe, and on the 1st date, you end up staying the whole day together and at the end of that day, you ask her to marry you.... she says yes and you guys have beautiful sex that evening. would you still consider her a slut?

This is still different buddy and the assumption tends to be unrealistic.

Well, to answer your question, i'll call her a slut because there's no different between her and a loose lady, what if the marriage utterances made by the guy is a tool to achieve his goal that same day?

MrBrownJay1:

C) and here is the important part... if you (as a man) do exactly the same thing a slut is doing, do you consider yourself BETTER THAN A SLUT, simply because society does not look down on your actions?!? remember, i am asking how do YOU feel about yourself, not what society feels about you, since what is important here is YOUR own view.

Logically and equally, both genders should receive the same critics in this case, but it doesn't work like that in our society and you know that, women mostly suffer sexual consequences and critics than men in Africa.

Concerning myself and the society, a society can be seen as a long-standing group of people sharing cultural aspects such as language, dress, norms of behavior and artistic forms or countably a group of people who meet from time to time to engage in a common interest; an association or organization.

And no matter how you try to justify the act of not attempting to please the society, I won't concur to that but will rather see it as pretense and societal ignorance.

donstan18:

This instance is a different ball game, the relationship has being built, you both aren't strangers anymore, there has being an introduction of familiarity in this case, get my point.

again, this is INDEED the 1st date, and as i can see, you wouldnt look down on the act.... so as i say, dont be too quick to follow what "society" may dictate. time is changing....especially with social media and all them available dating apps.

This is still different buddy and the assumption tends to be unrealistic.

Well, to answer your question, i'll call her a slut because there's no different between her and a loose lady, what if the marriage utterances made by the guy is a tool to achieve his goal that same day?

the issue was to give us an answer, as it sure does happen around the world. funny that you look down on my assumptions while calling it unrealistic (aka an assumptions of your own, lol)

BTW so many enter arranged marriages, where they only meet their spouse on marriage night...hhmm ok.

Logically and equally, both genders should receive the same critics in this case, but it doesn't work like that in our society and you know that, women mostly suffer sexual consequences and critics than men in Africa.

concerning about myself and the society, a society can be seen as a long-standing group of people sharing cultural aspects such as language, dress, norms of behavior and artistic forms or countably a group of people who meet from time to time to engage in a common interest; an association or organization.

And no matter how you try to justify the act of not attempting to please the society, I won't concur to that but will rather see it as pretense and societal ignorance.

the question was VERY SIMPLE....i will ask it again, since you didnt answer it: if you (as a man) do exactly the same thing a slut is doing, do you consider yourself BETTER THAN A SLUT, simply because society does not look down on your actions?!?

a YES or NO will suffice...

MrBrownJay1 and donstan18 both of you should use a scenario that happened BTW I and my boyfriend as a case on the first page of the topic. Want to know your view about it especially donstan18. thanks

Ojuri20:
MrBrownJay1 and donstan18 both of you should use a scenario that happened BTW I and my boyfriend as a case on the first page of the topic. Want to know your view about it especially donstan18. thanks

your scenario is the point A i gave Bro Donstan18 above, and he already replied.

MrBrownJay1:


again, this is INDEED the 1st date, and as i can see, you wouldnt look down on the act.... so as i say, dont be too quick to follow what "society" may dictate. time is changing....especially with social media and all them available dating apps.
[/b]

I disagree with you.

It's something to go on a date with a stranger and it's another thing to go on a date with your wife.

Judging from your point of motion, won't we call the both DATE?

MrBrownJay1:

the issue was to give us an answer, as it sure does happen around the world.

You are still proving me right that you didn't understand my first comment, go back and check the last part of my comment. I said "IN AFRICA".

MrBrownJay1:

funny that you look down on my assumptions while calling it unrealistic (aka an assumptions of your own, lol)

BTW so many enter arranged marriages, where they only meet their spouse on marriage night...hhmm ok.

Things that rarely happen shouldn't be used as an assumption and backup while striking a point in an argument.

MrBrownJay1:

the question was VERY SIMPLE....i will ask it again, since you didnt answer it: if you (as a man) do exactly the same thing a slut is doing, do you consider yourself BETTER THAN A SLUT, simply because society does not look down on your actions?!?

a YES or NO will suffice...

A YES or NO shouldn't be an answer to this question, it's indirectly rhetorical.

It's just like asking a thief after being caught if he/she should be killed because some society believe in killing thieves. Would you expect a YES/NO type of answer from the said thief?

donstan18:


I disagree with you.

It's something to go on a date with a stranger and it's another thing to go on a date with your wife.

Judging from your point of motion, won't we call the both DATE?

so what you are saying is that, if i chat with a babe online for a few months, she automatically became my "wife"?! what are you talikg about?!

You are still proving me right that you didn't understand my first comment, go back and check the last part of my comment. I said "IN AFRICA".

whether in Africa or space, my point still stand

Things that rarely happen shouldn't be used as an assumption and backup while striking a point in an argument.

just because you never experience these things shouldnt be a reason to assume wrongly or dismiss them, is it?!

A YES or NO shouldn't be an answer to this question, it's indirectly rhetorical.

It's just like asking a thief after being caught if he/she should be killed because some society believe in killing thieves. Would you expect a YES/NO type of answer from the said thief?

ARRANT NONSENSE!
you claim that society looks down on women who have sex on the 1st, and i simply asked you if you think you were better than these slut IF/WHEN you do exactly the same thing as they do? it is a simple question to make us understand how YOU view this issue (rather than hide behing the view of society on this issue).

donstan18:


I disagree with you.

It's something to go on a date with a stranger and it's another thing to go on a date with your wife.

Judging from your point of motion, won't we call the both DATE?



You are still proving me right that you didn't understand my first comment, go back and check the last part of my comment. I said "IN AFRICA".


Things that rarely happen shouldn't be used as an assumption and backup while striking a point in an argument.




A YES or NO shouldn't be an answer to this question, it's indirectly rhetorical.

It's just like asking a thief after being caught if he/she should be killed because some society believe in killing thieves. Would you expect a YES/NO type of answer from the said thief?

I understand your point so well but it sounds as if the 'Africa' you're referring to is not African I.e not the people. As an individual person in a relationship, how you see your partner matter most in any relationship not how other people sees she or he. If you've sex with your partner in the first like I and my fiance did, will you go and broadcast it on a national TV in order to know how Africans think about it. if she happens to be slut you'll discover that by yourself. I quite sure majority of Africans don't really give a Bleep of how people thinks about them unlike before. So it's high time we stop being more concern about how or what people really feel or think about us and start living pur lives as it comes.

Ojuri20:
MrBrow.jay1 and donstan1.8 both of you should use a scenario that happened BTW I and my boyfriend as a case on the first page of the topic. Want to know your view about it especially donstan18. thanks

Your case is different, thou we'v discussed about it.

Ojuri20:

I met my man after ten months of dating online and we had it immediately we set eyes of each other. It sounds crazy but still the best sex I've ever had in my life and our love life is waxing stronger but I think it personally depends on the individual involves, don't do if there is no bond yet... Love you baby (knows himself)

You both used ten months to get familiar and closer, it's different from meeting a stranger.

Thou they are both dates

MrBrownJay1:


so what you are saying is that, if i chat with a babe online for a few months, she automatically became my "wife"?! what are you talikg about?!
[/b]

That wasn't the reason why I typed about "Wife". I did that so as to explain to you that DATES are different, because you claimed a date is a date.

MrBrownJay1:

whether in Africa or space, my point still stand

Your points should stand for you, not in my opinion

MrBrownJay1:

just because you never experience these things shouldnt be a reason to assume wrongly or dismiss them, is it?!

Not really, that's why we should give instance of what we both know about in order to clarify each other without cheating.

One can claim to have an experience of what didn't happen.

MrBrownJay1:

ARRANT NONSENSE!
you claim that society looks down on women who have sex on the 1st, and i simply asked you if you think you were better than these slut IF/WHEN you do exactly the same thing as they do? it is a simple question to make us understand how YOU view this issue (rather than hide behing the view of society on this issue).

Oh fvck!!
These questions wouldn't have arisen if you clearly understood my first comment.

Go back and read again, this time, gradually.

I said the lady won't be considered a slut because she's one, but because of how African society views issues like this.

If i'm to answer that i'm not better than the said lady on social media, will it still change the fact the society will condemn her in reality?

Hmm..

Ojuri20:


I understand your point so well but it sounds as if the 'Africa' you're referring to is not African I.e not the people. As an individual person in a relationship, how you see your partner matter most in any relationship not how other people sees she or he. If you've sex with your partner in the first like I and my fiance did, will you go and broadcast it on a national TV in order to know how Africans think about it. if she happens to be slut you'll discover that by yourself. I quite sure majority of Africans don't really give a Bleep of how people thinks about them unlike before. So it's high time we stop being more concern about how or what people really feel or think about us and start living pur lives as it comes.

I'm glad you understood my point.

It will take me nothing to support the motion of a lady sleeping with a man on their first date,but what will it profit me to come to Nland and support what I won't support in reality? For likes? Hell NO

You case stated it clear that you used upto 10 months to introduced familiarity between you and your said man before going on a date with him, it's different from meeting a lady today, going on a date with her today and sleeping with her today, like Wtf?

Our problem is this, we'll come to social media to attempts all sort of societal abolishing, critics and condemnation, but will still log out to face and embrace the same society in reality.
Then what's the use?

No matter how people try to counter my point, I'll still stand with the fact that a woman who sleeps with men on their first date is a SLUT, quote me anywhere, she's not a slut because she's truly a slut, but because of how the society made gender sexual encounters look.

Only those who tell themselves the truth will concur to this.

useless topic..

donstan18:


I'm glad you understood my point.

It will take me nothing to support the motion of a lady sleeping with a man on their first date,but what will it profit me to come to Nland and support what I won't support in reality? For likes? Hell NO

You case stated it clear that you used upto 10 months to introduced familiarity between you and your said man before going on a date with him, it's different from meeting a lady today, going on a date with her today and sleeping with her today, like Wtf?

Our problem is this, we'll come to social media to attempts all sort of societal abolishing, critics and condemnation, but will still log out to face and embrace the same society in reality.
Then what's the use?

No matter how people try to counter my point, I'll still stand with the fact that a woman who sleeps with men on their first date is a SLUT, quote me anywhere, she's not a slut because she's truly a slut, but because of how the society made gender sexual encounters look.

Only those who tell themselves the truth will concur to this.

OK good but let's leave how Africa view it now. So to you as an individual, is it good or bad?

Ojuri20:


OK good but let's leave how Africa view it now. So to you as an individual, is it good or bad?

To me, it's not bad, but I won't because of my personal view come to social media to advocate what is contrary to our societal views in reality, I won't.

donstan18:


To me, it's not bad, but I won't because of my personal view come to social media to advocate what is contrary to our societal views in reality, I won't.

I understand that but you still have a valid points anyways. I won't as well that is why I stated it in my comments that when one is sure that she is dealing with a mature mind not those guys on tiny trousers

Ojuri20:


I understand that but you still have a valid points anyways. I won't as well that is why I stated it in my comments that when one is sure that she is dealing with a mature mind not those guys on tiny trousers

Can a lady know a matured guy before sleeping with him?

She is not, she's a careless chic

donstan18:


Can a lady know a matured guy before sleeping with him?

Yes in conversations and test his level of intelligence. Like the case of my man. We met on this platform. I don't naturally reply Pms, I dismissed immediately I saw one then because I just broke up with my ex and I chose never to be believed in love anymore. So one fateful I was bored so I decided go through my mails and so replied the first person that sent PMS to me after I went through his comments and topic and I found them educative, mature and intelligent which was after 4 months, we exchange
numbers and became best of friend now to something more serious.

You know me so well as well because we do chat as alot with my alt acc but want to keep it cool now. You've sent me pm thrice now

Ojuri20:


Yes in conversations and test his level of intelligence. Like the case of my man. We met on this platform. I don't naturally reply Pms, I dismissed immediately I saw one then because I just broke up with my ex and I chose never to be believed in love anymore. So one fateful I was bored so I decided go through my mails and so replied the first person that sent PMS to me after I went through his comments and topic and I found them educative, mature and intelligent which was after 4 months, we exchange
numbers and became best of friend now to something more serious.

You know me so well as well because we do chat as alot with my alt acc but want to keep it cool now. You've sent me pm thrice now

Hahahahahahahah

You just exposed yourself that you are a scam parading on Nland

I have never sent any one PM since I joined Nairaland
I have never done that, be you a lady or a guy, I don't do such

I get PMs from ladies and I do decline them

Oleeeee

Gerarahia Mehn!

donstan18:


Hahahahahahahah

You just exposed yourself that you are a scam parading on Nland

I have never sent any one PM since I joined Nairaland
I have never done that, be you a lady or a guy, I don't do such

I get PMs from ladies and I do decline them

Oleeeee

Gerarahia Mehn!

lols... lemme sign in to my alt acc

Yeah not you I'm sorry. Anyways my alt is Henitan24. pls I'm not a scammer oooo I'm a working class lady oo since 16bc.

Ojuri20:

lols... lemme sign in to my alt acc

Ayam waiting

donstan18:


Ayam waiting

I'm here. Your Monica is very familiar to me but guess becos you're very intellectual and so your comments everywhere with your blue signature. So do you mean ladies do send guys pm here?

Henitan24:


I'm here. Your Monica is very familiar to me but guess becos you're very intellectual and so your comments everywhere with your blue signature. So do you mean ladies do send guys pm here?

Ehe?
Why did you say i'v sent you pm?

Ladies should be in a better position to answer that , not me.

Hmm....I like your liver.

rebirthforgoody:
Nothing wrong with it though I haven't try it before

donstan18:


Ehe?
Why did you say i'v sent you pm?

Ladies should be in a better position to answer that , not me.

I've answered that before, so I said maybe because your Moniker is very familiar to me so I mistook you for those Mario pm senders.

THERES THIS CHICK THAT CAME TO MY LODGE IN SCHOOL
SOME TIME AGO..
WE ACTUALLY KNOW EACH OTHER IN WARRI BUH JUST NORMAL HI STUFF
LONG STORY SHORT..
THE CHICK I PLANNED FOR EVENING ROMP FVCKED ME UP
WHEN I THOUGHT ALL HOPE WAS LOST MADAM CALLED THAT SHE WAS BORED AT HOME..
SHE CAME AROUND..
LONG STORY SHORT I SCREWED HER IN BED, GISTED HER IN BED AND SHE BECAME MY GF IN BED
SHE HAPPENED TO BE THE MOST AMAZING PERSON HAVE EVER DATED
THAT CHICK CAN LOVE FOR AFRICA TOO BAD I DIDNT

Pusyiter:
Hmm....I like your liver.

Okay ooooh

Dont say that Bae, you have never met a man that swept you off your feet on the 1st date and resist him.
Imagine you meeting Morris Chestnut and he toast you? Will you say what you are saying?

Saff:
Yeah but just to be safe, for numerous reasons it’s better to avoid sex on the first date when you don’t know the guy well.

Pusyiter:
Dont say that Bae, you have never met a man that swept you off your feet on the 1st date and resist him.
Imagine you meeting Morris Chestnut and he toast you? Will you say what you are saying?

I never allow feelings to get in the way of common sense. Sorry.

Henitan24:


I've answered that before, so I said maybe because your Moniker is very familiar to me so I mistook you for those Mario pm senders.

Alright, now i get