Tank u jare,dat is my exact plan,it is only u dat have sense outta all d people dat quoted me,common sense dey dont hv

romenna:
let me advice u like an elder bro, date a guy u love and stick with him weda he's rich or not. wen u r 28 marry him. how abt dat?

franchasng:
speak what you know! I have single ladies from USA, Canada, Ireland, Germany, Japan, Austalia (very many of them), Kenya, Malaysia, China, etc, etc that write me seeking for help to find a man to marry. Some even ask for love spell to trap a man they have been crushing on.....God in heavens knows what I am talking about....its unprofessional for me to reveal some personal conversations with some of them, if not, I would have revealed them here....you guys always think living in America, Europe, Asia and any advanced nation exempts you from life's miseries, huh

No human being ever want to remain lonely forever no matter who they are okay We are social animals....loneliness affect our emotion and general mental being it can destroy some people, so stop talking thrash and listen to a professional

But being alone is different from being lonely, you can be alone and not lonely. I felt lonely when I use to be in a relationship, like its a trap... have to apologize for not calling, apologize for missing a call when I'm busy. That's just ordinary relationship, marriage is a damn trap.

oglalasioux:


We are in 2018 not 1818. Women even older than 50 can have children. Though I'm not in support of anyone having children in that scam called marriage.

It's not possible. For a 50yr old to have children. She can carry a child even in her 60's with the help of hormones, but the egg dt was fertilized in the IVF is not hers. Women usually get to menopause around 42-44. After dt their eggs die.

This is where men are lucky. What I would advise anyone dts single and crossing 35 is to freeze their eggs. All fertility clinics do it. If eventually u get married at 45, they'll just unfreeze ur eggs and fertilize it wt ur husband, then u can carry ur child. This is what these older Hollywood women did. Eva longoria, Halle berry.etc.

delugajackson:
Marriage has become a social norm. Society expects you to get married, and to do so before the age of 30(sometimes even younger depending on what culture you're from).

But let's try to be logical here. What if she actually turned down numerous men during her bloomy days? We know how much these women look down on men especially when they're not up to their "class" and "standards."

But they forget that at the end of the day, they're the ones that need the marriage more. It's what these crazy feminists do. I know they will come for my head, but the truth has to be told.

There are women that doesn't fancy marriage(due to traumatic experience they had) and they are living well, someone like Oprah Winfrey is an example.

Nawa

justmi1:
your mum loves you. You want to enjoy life till 28- more like you want a bore hole drilled under you first. Then later you go dey find innocent man for Shiloh. Come here... I promise... i won't slap you.

franchasng:
Don't mind him. They always think western women don't care about marriage. This is the same wack belief most Nigerian ladies have, and once they succeed in leaving Nigeria to either USA, UK, Canada, etc, yes they will succeed in making money and then they will realize that having all the money is not enough to make them happy and fulfilled, and you see them coming back to that same thing they forbid; seeking for marriage.

It is rampant in USA to see lots of single Nigerian ladies living waywardly out of frustration of being single at ripe age, reason you see most of them running back to Nigeria to find guys back in Nigeria to marry, I wonder where the guy @MrBrownJay1 lives; maybe Thai Cave

Getting married is the number one goal of majority of women all over the world....a woman can have the whole wealth but if she is still single without a child, she will feel so unhappy and cheated by nature, it is not only applicable to Nigerian women but to all women of all races and it is not their fault, it is nature's making

Marriage and having kids is almost a biological function for women. I've seen a 37 years old white lady crying because she isn't married and doesn't have a child at her age. I've never seen a man do that ever! Japanese women are crying and complaining that Japanese men don't want to marry them or impregnate them. The women are seriously complaining while the men are just running away. It's it's not a problem to them they won't be complaining. Same in scandanavia.

I am sure she was jobless too.

jobless, over 40 yrs and unmarried

DTS too much for even a man to bear

MrBrownJay1:


bro, again, STOP WRITING RUBBISH!!!! here in the west, people dont give a damn about marriage. if it happens, its ok, but if it doesnt then LIFE GOES ON! it is only in deluded miserable countries (where people cant even get 3 square meals a day) that women are raised to believe tha their only salvation is marriage, and whether happy or not, without marriage they are viewed as worthless.

again, women all over the REAL world, dont give a damn about marriage, if it happens GREAT, if it doesnt LIFE GOES ON...
stop believing the messages you receive from either yahoo yahoo or fat fugly disgusting women who know that desperate Africans would do anything for a green card (even marry a woman that nobody wants in the west)



there is a HUGE difference between being lonely and being desperate to marry AT ALL COST...many women in the west are lonely, YES, but they certainly aint desperate to get MARRIED, they are only desperate to find a man.....HUGE DIFFERENCE! again, only in Nigeria that marriage is viewed as a DO or DIE issue! because guess what?! here you dont have to get married to get all the perks of married people,,, its called common law union

Exactly man, difference between being alone and being lonely. There might be pressure about you finding a man or a woman, someone to love but no one is pressuring someone to get married, they don't even see marriage as the end point of their relationship.

You see two people loving each other and being together for years, when marriage pop up by one of the party, its always a surprise to the other party and they might end up marrying because they love each other and want to be together, but here in a F'd up country, there is always this sense of entitlement that you must get married and marriage popping up ain't even a surprise unless the lady fakes it as we always see. That's why marriage end up brutally over here, they marry themselves for wrong reason, reasons like to have a child, to have someone that will take care of u at old age, get a man to always foot their bills and when that happen, they end up getting disappointed, thereby ending relationship in a bad note.

In the west even if marriage ends, most time is not because of infidelity, probably because of work, distance and even with all the paper work for divorcing, you still find out that the two divorcee are still very good friends and u will wonder have they ever been divorced.

We Nigerians are really low in IQ, I'm not talking about smartness, what a western man will call achievement is far more intelligent than what we over here will call achievement. A society that will praise someone that has 5 children still living in poverty than someone who is still single and making a name for himself. One big reason this society hasn't moved forward.

Lord have mercy on her beautiful soul at a beautiful "40" years of age...so tragic.
Let me not say anything else...smh 1 million times over.

thegentleman:
Exactly man, difference between being alone and being lonely. There might be pressure about you finding a man or a woman, someone to love but no one is pressuring someone to get married, they don't even see marriage as the end point of their relationship.

You see two people loving each other and being together for years, when marriage pop up by one of the party, its always a surprise to the other party and they might end up marrying because they love each other and want to be together, but here in a F'd up country, there is always this sense of entitlement that you must get married and marriage popping up ain't even a surprise unless the lady fakes it as we always see. That's why marriage end up brutally over here, they marry themselves for wrong reason, reasons like to have a child, to have someone that will take care of u at old age, get a man to always foot their bills and when that happen, they end up getting disappointed, thereby ending relationship in a bad note.

In the west even if marriage ends, most time is not because of infidelity, probably because of work, distance and even with all the paper work for divorcing, you still find out that the two divorcee are still very good friends and u will wonder have they ever been divorced.

We Nigerians are really low in IQ, I'm not talking about smartness, what a western man will call achievement is far more intelligent than what we over here will call achievement. A society that will praise someone that has 5 children still living in poverty than someone who is still single and making a name for himself. One big reason this society hasn't moved forward.

well said bro....sadly, you will always have the likes of dalaman and franchasng who will be quick to believe the contrary to feel better about the miserable situation in Nigeria, where marriage is seen as a DO or DIE issue.

the main issue here is that, in Nigeria, people ARE NOT/CANNOT consider themselves happy unless they are married....while in the west, marriage is just marriage, and certainly NOT the benchmark for happiness.

women with their inferiority complex, more will commit suicide because men now are even tired of marriage

dalaman:
False. A lady at 50 can't have children something that is an integral part of marriage.

You seems myopic in your reasoning. Where did you see children in his comment in the first place?
Second, who told you a woman cannot have children at 50?
This is the kind of mentality that keeps Africans backward in most things.
You guys just like spewing rubbish all in the name of making comments and seeking attention. I hope you clap for yourself on the unfortunate incidence. Nonsense!

dalaman:


Marriage and having kids is almost a biological function for women. I've seen a 37 years old white lady crying because she isn't married and doesn't have a child at her age. I've never seen a man do that ever! Japanese women are crying and complaining that Japanese men don't want to marry them or impregnate them. The women are seriously complaining while the men are just running away. It's it's not a problem to them they won't be complaining. Same in scandanavia.

if you'd ever lived in Japan (as i did) and/or understood Japanese culture, then you would certainly understand why japanese women (AND MEN) complain about finding a good mate to marry... AKA Japan, a country where a child lives at his parents house until he gets married AKA Japan, a country where people are not raised/taught to show their emotion, thus inadequate when it comes to dating or finding a bf/gf(let alone a husband/wife), AKA japan where there are "love hotels" to cater for these grown people living at their parents house because they cant fukc at home (since they are unmarried), AKA Japan, where your job is more valuable than family, thus the reason the majority would commit suicide if they lose their jobs but not if they are unmarried (since they would be living at their parents home anyway) duh!

as for Scandinavia, dont even TRY IT, just be quiet instead of writing MORE RUBBISH about Scandinavia. here they dont give a damn about marriage, women are highly independent and dont view marriage as a way of life. its not even a joke! and even when they get married, its the tiny marriage with few friends and family, and basta...because it is NOT A big deal here.

btw i should certainly know about the above countries as these are some of the places where i've LIVED....(aka Norway, Denmark , Japan)
again, stop talking about what you dont know.

thegentleman:
But being alone is different from being lonely, you can be alone and not lonely. I felt lonely when I use to be in a relationship, like its a trap... have to apologize for not calling, apologize for missing a call when I'm busy. That's just ordinary relationship, marriage is a damn trap.

I agree with you very well When you see a sensible post, you will know, and you won't find it hard to agree. But still, all over the world, women feel pressure to get married as they approach menopause...yes, agreed that the pressure is much on Nigerian women due to bad economy and family/societal pressure, but don't ever believe that western women don't feel pressure to get married and have kids, whoever told you that is telling you lies my brother. Have a blessed day

Mcy56:

You seems myopic in your reasoning. Where did you see children in his comment in the first place?
Second, who told you a woman cannot have children at 50?
This is the kind of mentality that keeps Africans backward in most things.
You guys just like spewing rubbish all in the name of making comments and seeking attention. I hope you clap for yourself on the unfortunate incidence. Nonsense!

a 50 year old woman cannot give birth naturally unless it is through scientific and medical assistance, abi she be Sarah the wife of father Abraham ni

janellemonae:


It's not possible. For a 50yr old to have children. She can carry a child even in her 60's with the help of hormones, but the egg dt was fertilized in the IVF is not hers. Women usually get to menopause around 42-44. After dt their eggs die.

This is where men are lucky. What I would advise anyone dts single and crossing 35 is to freeze their eggs. All fertility clinics do it. If eventually u get married at 45, they'll just unfreeze ur eggs and fertilize it wt ur husband, then u can carry ur child. This is what these older Hollywood women did. Eva longoria, Halle berry.etc.

Menopause can occur between the ages of 40-61 in the healthy female...(and I would think that this applies to ALL women of the world regardless of lifespan...not sure whether you are basing your findings on Nigerian women...?)
Average age for menopause is 51.
Eggs start declining at around 35..but they are not fully dead yet even into the mid 40s....
Just because a man can continue conceiving up into his 80s or so, doesn't mean he should.
Yes, some women freeze their eggs oftentimes in their 20's or early 30's....to avoid "potential/potential" fertility/conception issues if they decide to have kids later in life...
The issue becomes whether a woman and her spouse would want to physically have a child over 40....
Adoption and IVF are always options if she doesn't or can't do so.
Life ain't over at 40..

franchasng:
a 50 year old woman cannot give birth naturally unless it is through scientific and medical assistance, abi she be Sarah the wife of father Abraham ni

why are you so hellbent on women having a child?! thats the only thing you are talking about. you should know that women in the west would have a child with any donkey out there, if thats what they really want....when lesbians can easily have babies of their own, why would you think that a woman in the west would lose her mind if she wanted to be a mother?! it is only in Nigeria where single mothers are looked down upon that such is a problem, NOT in the west.... and on top of that, if she is unemployed, the state will surely help her with social benefits.

MrBrownJay1:


why are you so hellbent on women having a child?! thats the only thing you are talking about. you should know that women in the west would have a child with any donkey out there, if thats what they really want....when lesbians can easily have babies of their own, why would you think that a woman in the west would lose her mind if she wanted to be a mother?! it is only in Nigeria where single mothers are looked down upon that such is a problem, NOT in the west.... and on top of that, if she is unemployed, the state will surely help her with social benefits.

Brother, you spoke some truth!

na wetin fit her.

time wey she dey do guy dey turn guys down she no know say one day she go turn old cargo.

now she don turn old cargo come dey hope make men begin pity am but im don forget say like oyibo people dey always talk am, there's always a price tag.

foolish and nonsense women everywhere.

abeg madam nkechi give me one more plate of jollof rice and stew with anu ewu.

this people here are just talking nonsene.

Mobilia:
Brother, you spoke some truth!

the above brotha and his failed doctrine that a woman above 40, because she cant have children, she is of NO USE because deluded men wouldnt marry her (since she cant have children any longer), is the cancer that is plaguing Nigeria and Nigerian women....then we act surprized when the woman of this thread commited suicide, while the reason is right there in front of us.

Nigerian society, Religion and deluded men (who see women as just a walking womb), is the problem here.

franchasng:
a 50 year old woman cannot give birth naturally unless it is through scientific and medical assistance, abi she be Sarah the wife of father Abraham ni

You may never tell. Don't underestimate the power of God. Even if its not naturally, it could be scientifically as well.

franchasng:
I agree with you very well When you see a sensible post, you will know, and you won't find it hard to agree. But still, all over the world, women feel pressure to get married as they approach menopause...yes, agreed that the pressure is much on Nigerian women due to bad economy and family/societal pressure, but don't ever believe that western women don't feel pressure to get married and have kids, whoever told you that is telling you lies my brother. Have a blessed day

Yes...but in the U.S., it is absolutely nowhere near the level of African culture (particularly Nigeria since this site is geared towards Nigerians).
Not even a fraction.

Mcy56:

You may never tell. Don't underestimate the power of God. Even if its not naturally, it could be scientifically as well.

sure, I am a strong believer in the power of God because I have witnessed God's supreme power severally, so I won't argue that, thanks for reminding me that

.

MrBrownJay1:


the above brotha and his failed doctrine that a woman above 40, because she cant have children, she is of NO USE because deluded men wouldnt marry her (since she cant have children any longer), is the cancer that is plaguing Nigeria and Nigerian women....then we act surprized when the woman of this thread commited suicide, while the reason is right there in front of us.

Nigerian society, Religion and deluded men (who see women as just a walking womb), is the problem here.

Exactly....which is a total shame...smh. Beyond sad...but this is Nigerian culture....

Mobilia:


Yes...but in the U.S., it is absolutely nowhere near the level of African culture (particularly Nigeria since this site is geared towards Nigerians).
Not even a fraction.

Of course the bad economy in Nigeria made it worse since most single ladies see marriage as short cut to success and a ticket out of poverty and financial lack, so i won't argue your point but all the same, women all over the world feel the pressure to get married, but it varies from nation to nation depending on their economy and societal/family values

franchasng:
sure, I am a strong believer in the power of God because I have witnessed God's supreme power severally, so I won't argue that, thanks for reminding me that

Mobilia:
Exactly....which is a total shame...smh. Beyond sad...but this is Nigerian culture....
Thank God me and my "41" year old (childless and unmarried) self was raised in the U.S.
I'd probably get stoned over Nigeria...

thats because on this side of the world, we are brought up in a different way... in Nigeria, a woman/man is raised with the SOLE aim to get married (add having money for a man), while here we are raised to be happy fulfilled individuals.

Mobilia:


Exactly....which is a total shame...smh. Beyond sad...but this is Nigerian culture....
Thank God me and my "41" year old (childless and unmarried) self was raised in the U.S.
I'd probably get stoned over Nigeria...

Don't believe all these cock and bull stories people cook up online, Nigeria is not that bad...I had a unmarried aunt who's late now anyway....nobody stoned her, she died a natural death.

But what would have made it worse for u if u were in Nigeria is bad economy, maybe u will be struggling to get a good job to feed and shelter yourself comfortably without the help of a man...which would have made u become desperate to find a man to marry. But still, whether as a man or woman, it is happier for us when we get married to a soul mate than to remain single and be claiming happy...human being aren't born to stay lonely forever, it affects our emotion and psychology

MrBrownJay1:


well said bro....sadly, you will always have the likes of dalaman and franchasng who will be quick to believe the contrary to feel better about the miserable situation in Nigeria, where marriage is seen as a DO or DIE issue.

the main issue here is that, in Nigeria, people ARE NOT/CANNOT consider themselves happy unless they are married....while in the west, marriage is just marriage, and certainly NOT the benchmark for happiness.

Marriage is a benchmark for happiness the world over. Married couples have been shown by different studies to be happier, more fulfilled and live longer than single people. These are scientific studies not my opinion .

https://www.livescience.com/20649-married-people-happier.html

Ladies in the west want to get married at the same rate that their grand mothers wanted to, but it is the men that don't want to marry them. Ladies in the west still dream about marriage. Don't decieve yourself. It's just that the men see no reason to marry the ladies in the west because of many reasons. But ladies in the west still crave for marriage and see themselves as empty if they are not married and don't have kids.

Getting married and having kids is almost like a biological function to most women. It gives them satisfaction that most things can not.

Mcy56:

You seems myopic in your reasoning. Where did you see children in his comment in the first place?
Second, who told you a woman cannot have children at 50?
This is the kind of mentality that keeps Africans backward in most things.
You guys just like spewing rubbish all in the name of making comments and seeking attention. I hope you clap for yourself on the unfortunate incidence. Nonsense!

A woman can not get pregnant at 50. Women that are even reaching menopause at 45- 48 these days. At 50 a woman has stopped producing eggs and even if she does they are totally useless. Most of the women that get pregnant at 50 do so after freezing their eggs at an earllier age or through artificial insemination. Most can't not even keep the pregnancy because they mostly suffer miscarriage. You are the one that doesn't know what she's saying. A woman can not naturally get pregnant and give birth to a healthy baby at 50. The chance is less than 1% earlier I mistakenly said 5% after checking I saw that it's even less than 1%.

DP