Hi nladers,

Please I need advice on how to overcome the pain of heart brake. I ve bin courting a guy for years now and he just broke my heart. I wouldn't want to go into details as I don't even know his reason since I cant remember doing anything wrong in particular and we didn't quarrel. I have tried asking what the problem was but no answer and it hurts me very deep.

I keep shading tears but its not helping me, He is actually the only friend I have had for years now so at the moment I feel lost since I have nobody to talk to. All I need is advice on how to keep myself busy as I find it unbearable when am alone.

Well, maybe am not in the best position to talk 'bout heartbreak and healing. But, from experience new stuff will surely help like learning new things if you have the time e.g. foreign language (French, German, etc), taking professional courses depending on your line of career and doing interesting things to improve yourself in every angle. You can likewise channel your energy into looking good, lt might sound oops but it's good! You don't need to look miserable cos you're being dumped and avoid being alone most of the time cos that is the killer.

adaybola:

You can likewise channel your energy into looking good, lt might sound oops but it's good! You don't need to look miserable cos you're being dumped and avoid being alone most of the time cos that is the killer.

Good advise.

Secondly, if you cannot stay alone, find someone who you think is serious and go out with him. Don't love him but just for the fun of it. Have lots of sex (if that will help) and keep yourself busy.
Avoid places, persons and things that reminds you of him.

Sorry about your breakup, before i evn start anything,pls discard any idea that having lots of sex might actually make u feel better, as far as am concerned thats the lowest, lamest and most silly thing i've heard in quite a while, i think you should draw your lessons from this,do a lot of reminiscence and try to circle on where things started to change,i knw sme pple might say ths is nt the best thin to do since u are actually supposed to be getting him out of your mind bt i think it would help at least to prevent such occurences from happening again,it would also help give you that peace of mind that its his loss not yours having truly checked and found out that there was nothing you did to trigger this rather unfortunate outcome because every single reaction is consequent of a preceeding action no matter hw subtle or passive,so try to find out. i always say building your life around a guy/girl is always a bad idea and dats y u wd feel as bad as you do bt there's always a room for recovery,i second to what the first poster said,get your self busy,you've obviously spent so much in the relationship tending to the guy's needs, see this time as means to putting urself in the big picture, enjoy yourself, if you cnt,learn it,nothing cant be learnt, identify with yourself once more, if you really search deep,there are things that u reaaaaaly love doing evn if u are alone,start doing them, nobody,absolutely nobody sud be responsible for how happy or sad your are,if it happens that way then you freely gave them the right to do so,take that right back and go make yourself happy.keep us posted.cheers.

Give your self space to breath, dont allow your heightened sense of loneliness to push you into the arms of any man just because you want to be bordered by care and attention besides its nt healthy to use someone elses' attention or care to cushion or make up for the vaccum u feel without actually loving the person, that would be simply manipulation.

confetti:

Hi nladers,

Please I need advice on how to overcome the pain of heart brake. I ve bin courting a guy for years now and he just broke my heart. I wouldn't want to go into details as I don't even know his reason since I cant remember doing anything wrong in particular and we didn't quarrel. I have tried asking what the problem was but no answer and it hurts me very deep.

I keep shading tears but its not helping me, He is actually the only friend I have had for years now so at the moment I feel lost since I have nobody to talk to. All I need is advice on how to keep myself busy as I find it unbearable when am alone.

Eiiyah . . kpele!

it's unfortunate but no sugestions myt find appeal with U now cos naturally Ur mind will be too puzzled trying to figure out why & Ur heart would be concentrated with hope that Ur 'defected' friend would return & see reason why the both of U are meant to be.

My counsel: let nature take its course. If U want to get over it & get ahead to a happy life badly enough, U can & U will; everyday, one step at a time,

I feel for you.But give yourself time. That's the only thing that will heal you. With time the pain gets lighter until you wont fell it anymore.

In the meantime, try not to be alone. Hang out with friends. And get rid of every item that reminds you of him. Be brutal in doing so and throw out EVERYTHING. Cheer up, girl. You'll smile in some months time

babyy gurl i feel your pain, my bf just broke my heart this morning too and im in the same lonely state ur in right now. in fact my situation is even worse coz he is now broadcasting to everyone details of our sex life. but i refuse to cry coz guys these days are absolute jerks, they aint even worth it, like they always say, time heals all wounds. i believe every woman is a missing rib of a man. when the time is right, the right one will come.

try and get urself back together again, make new friends and move on. thats the best we can do really.

best way is to mail me ur number mak i call u mid 9th, am also trying to pick myself from serious heart break. gbachano@yahoo.com. waiting for ur email.

confetti:

Hi nladers,

Please I need advice on how to overcome the pain of heart brake. I ve bin courting a guy for years now and he just broke my heart. I wouldn't want to go into details as I don't even know his reason since I cant remember doing anything wrong in particular and we didn't quarrel. I have tried asking what the problem was but no answer and it hurts me very deep.

I keep shading tears but its not helping me, He is actually the only friend I have had for years now so at the moment I feel lost since I have nobody to talk to. All I need is advice on how to keep myself busy as I find it unbearable when am alone.

hello poster first thing tell your self this is not the end of life . more to come .just let go of the past & try to focus on the future .
How to stop thinking about it?
At any rate, if u are thinking about him what can you really do about it. Nothing. You are not with him  now,did he know that you are shading tears for him  no . Tell your self  there are  many pains in this life apart form love . well i was in your situation i keep one imaginary  friend  I know its sick but its help me a lot for my loneliness . I am the only one that matters. This is really my own fault and problem. I really want to stop fretting about the past.

his loss.as some1 said earlier have a total make over(always look good) and go out,go to events and parties thats a good way to meet nu friends and take him off your mind am sure there are guys out there that will give anything to have u, thats a good way to move on,another option is to call ur ex and find out wat happened,its not gonna b easy but u have to try make him give u a reason, and dont look despirate act as if nothing is wrong and please DONT BEG,thats gonna make matters worse.good luck

you should quickly hook up with another guy, you wont think of him as much instead of crying your self to sleep gone are the days when i use to cry and pity myself now break my heart i shed a little tear and i bounce back

Thanks everyone for all your concerns and kind words. Am glad to know that even some guys are of help and that so many have been in this before yet they picked themselves up and continued with their lives.

Am determined to do that, I have started going out even if alone at least it keeps me from a lonely place and its consequent loneliness. As for going back to him, I don't think it possible because the way he treated me when I went to visit even though he was the one that asked me to come was to me humiliation and even after I left no explanation till now.

@ Spyker, sleeping around is not part of me so its out of the question but thanks for the advice anyway.