@op. Walk magesticaly lyk a queen out of d relatnshp cos acordin 2 u,u ar a graduate. Kip ur head str8,b gud,dcent,focus. Beta half is comin. I knw u luv him, but let go he ' s tired of d relatnshp. If i may ask hw old is d relatnshp?

The poster must have really been spoilt by her papa boyfriend whilst the relationship lasted, she cant just get over the shock, so it just suddenly occured to big daddy that u r 12 years younger ? . . . . . . Wake up girl the man is done with u , he's got prettier targets . . . . U don expire

Rooneyboy:

The poster must have really been spoilt by her papa boyfriend whilst the relationship lasted, she cant just get over the shock, so it just suddenly occured to big daddy that u r 12 years younger ? . . . . . . Wake up girl the man is done with u , he's got prettier targets . . . . U don expire

If you have nothing sensible to say, then SHUT UP!

Gbemyte:

@op. Walk magesticaly lyk a queen out of d relatnshp cos acordin 2 u,u ar a graduate. Kip your head str8,b gud,dcent,focus. Beta half is comin. I knw u luv him, but let go he ' s tired of d relatnshp. If i may ask hw old is d relatnshp?

Thanks. The relationship is 7months.

stevetboy9:

You're too young for marriage. My uncle is 10yrs older dan his wife and ppl are always jealous of thier love and nuclear family relationship. So,age should not be a barrier . If he can wait till you're 27,by then,you'll be more matured,then its oK. But since he want to break up on the basis of age df,then leave him and move on. You'll find yours but remember your creator

27 years? Wow! I'd rather 25 at most

michelin89:

@ poster

Don't take it for granted that men prefer younger women.

My ex had a thing for older ladies, dunno why.

Besides 33 na old papa. You are 22 and fresh. You wan come dey change him diapers?

Got me cracking but honestly i don't mind changing it for him.

mutter:

It could be that your bf is scared of committing himself because at your age you might not know what you want. Marriage can be very complicated, involving not just the two of you but also the extended family.
He might just be scared that you are not ready for the commitment.
You are still Young and have time on your hands.
Just keep being decent and prayerfull, many suitors are yet to come.

.

Thanks, I thought about that but I convinced him, we should walk and work together. He should not just conclude.

12 yrs older Where are thy parentz? Another Celine Dion, What do you know about love and marriage, How rich is the papa that you don't wanna let go off him.

@poster,

this your love pass blind o, it is even deaf.

Marriage are not for kids, 12 yrs is a big gap, moreover the rship is just 7months. You need to settle and think things through.

Just let him go

@poster, the man is off to get another woman. My advice is u move on with ur life. You are young beautiful and special, trust me, u'll get someone who'll cherish u, give u what u deserve and treat u well. That guy was neva serious, he was just having fun. U beta not buy that crap about 12yrs. Jst get over it, reasses ur relationship with him and find some errors u might have made so as to guide against it in future relationships.

It is crystal clear that u r really frustrated . Well we cannot help u here since you've refused to take the bitter truth . . . Carry ur kross alone .

@Cosmass. . .I think I understand the situation and assuming the guy is good and decent to a considerable extent, then the age difference will not be a big problem. . .but answer the questions:

1. How often (rarely a week or two) do you "fight" (not physical) or have hot arguments?

2. Do this fights happen over rather mundane things that shouldn't be such a "big deal"

3. Do you guys have good communication on an on-going basis?

4. How often does it happen that when you are having a good time with no fights or arguments, something suddenly comes-up and causes a big (and often unnecessary) fight?

5. Some things are learned as you grow older, so you may be matured somewhat at 22 but do you think you are mature enough to possibly make an 80-year long (??) commitment (marriage)?

6. When you fight (or fought in the past), did you call him names or said things you did not apologize for?

7. Do you raise your voice when you talk to him or yell or ever hit him?

8. Do you get angry easily, are hot-tempered and unable to control yourself, what you do and say when you get angry?

9. Do you make him feel secure such that he is not thinking that after a few years of marriage, you could want a divorce to marry someone younger?

<Note: I ask these questions from personal experience and a girl's chances of being married to a guy diminishes exponentially depending on answers to these questions>

@poster.I feel for you.
But 12 year's is a long difference;some men don't mind but some do and here is the reason:some men want to age with their wife.from the sexual angle,the men are careful,they don't want a situation of when their sexual drive is going down,their wife's own is in it peak,it will result in her cheating on him.
Some Nigeria men desire a woman that will call them name's like brother or my oga,they marry women that they are 15-18 year's older than.for them the more the age difference the better!
I will advice that you move on since marriage out of pity hardly ever work out.from your post I deduce you must be a great woman;you will find your man,very soon I believe.don't dwell on it,it is not easy but you will sail through.don't hesitate to come back for advise and counseling.

@ poster, i feel u and i feel ur guy also. am 11 yrs older dan ma fiancee and i used to have such fears like she might turn out not to b matured, but i really luv her and vise-versa, dat essentially (with gud communication too) has seen us thru. She's quite matured 4 her age and knows what she wants, and we'r happy. dont worry u'll find ur man/

CHARLOE:

@ poster, i feel u and i feel your guy also. am 11 yrs older dan ma fiancee and i used to have such fears like she might turn out not to b matured, but i really luv her and vise-versa, dat essentially (with gud communication too) has seen us thru. She's quite matured 4 her age and knows what she wants, and we'r happy. dont worry u'll find your man/

How old are you at the moment or your fiancee?

james1:

@poster.I feel for you.
But 12 year's is a long difference;some men don't mind but some do and here is the reason:some men want to age with their wife.from the sexual angle,the men are careful,they don't want a situation of when their sexual drive is going down,their wife's own is in it peak,it will result in her cheating on him.
Some Nigeria men desire a woman that will call them name's like brother or my oga,they marry women that they are 15-18 year's older than.for them the more the age difference the better!
I will advice that you move on since marriage out of pity hardly ever work out.from your post I deduce you must be a great woman;you will find your man,very soon I believe.don't dwell on it,it is not easy but you will sail through.don't hesitate to come back for advise and counseling.

Thanks, I have decided to move on though not because of the age difference but because I have no other choice.

CyberG:

@Cosmass. . .I think I understand the situation and assuming the guy is good and decent to a considerable extent, then the age difference will not be a big problem. . .but answer the questions:

1. How often (rarely a week or two) do you "fight" (not physical) or have hot arguments?

2. Do this fights happen over rather mundane things that shouldn't be such a "big deal"

3. Do you guys have good communication on an on-going basis?

4. How often does it happen that when you are having a good time with no fights or arguments, something suddenly comes-up and causes a big (and often unnecessary) fight?

5. Some things are learned as you grow older, so you may be matured somewhat at 22 but do you think you are mature enough to possibly make an 80-year long (??) commitment (marriage)?

6. When you fight (or fought in the past), did you call him names or said things you did not apologize for?

7. Do you raise your voice when you talk to him or yell or ever hit him?

8. Do you get angry easily, are hot-tempered and unable to control yourself, what you do and say when you get angry?

9. Do you make him feel secure such that he is not thinking that after a few years of marriage, you could want a divorce to marry someone younger?

<Note: I ask these questions from personal experience and a girl's chances of being married to a guy diminishes exponentially depending on answers to these questions>

I wouldn't say we never argued, every couple does that but those were things I feel/felt could not be enough to break a couple up. He also said he could not trust me along the line, which shows a bit of insecurity. Do I get angry, on some occasions based on what happens and all I did was say "I'm done with the relationship" That was the furthest but of course only words. I never walked away.

erotic_me:

@poster, the man is off to get another woman. My advice is u move on with your life. You are young beautiful and special, trust me, u'll get someone who'll cherish u, give u what u deserve and treat u well. That guy was neva serious, he was just having fun. U beta not buy that crap about 12yrs. Jst get over it, reasses your relationship with him and find some errors u might have made so as to guide against it in future relationships.

Thanks.

Or did you always do anything childish like runnin to his shoulder cryin everytime there is problem. Or you cant handle responsibilities without his supervision. I'm not runnin you down but in the beginin of relationship guys might overlook that but when it comes to serious things like marriage, we stepup the gear. 34 to 22 is not a bad ratio. This is the best time for that ring you are not too young.

what an excuse!
Is he scared of dieing before u?

@op,u r nt too young 4 marriage i got married @23,2 years now and still counting,ma hubby is 8 years older than i am and age aint a barrier, i think he isnt interested anymore,pls walkaway gracefully, do not beg

He's just using that as an excuse to leave. If he loves you and really wants to be with you, age wouldn't be a problem. And i'm sure he knew your age when you met (?), so i'm not sure why he has to use that sour excuse about the age difference being a problem now. If someone can break up with you cuz of that, then it means he no longer wants you and probably never even loved you to begin with cuz if he did he wouldn't be leaving now. I would just let him keep walking. Why would you want to go back to someone that doesn't want you?

@ poster - yours is a 7months relationship. it shouldn't be too hard to move on really. consider the break up as an integral part of God's greater plan for your life. my relationship of 8 years was just called of today by my fiancee because she is traveling and blah-blah-blah. Extremely painful but i have to move on or i die young. i suggest you do too.

i guess he's the 1st person you fell in love with? you should consider your relationship with him as an experience preparing you for the future,
D not let your hrt be diturbed @ all 22 is still a very young age for marriage in nigeria today, a man of that age may not hesitate to spank you if you offend him, be wise my dear sister

ITbomb:

Or did you always do anything childish like runnin to his shoulder cryin everytime there is problem. Or you cant handle responsibilities without his supervision. I'm not runnin you down but in the beginin of relationship guys might overlook that but when it comes to serious things like marriage, we stepup the gear. 34 to 22 is not a bad ratio. This is the best time for that ring you are not too young.

I never ran to him like a baby but yes I asked for his supervision on some things and that comes with him being my partner not about the age.

Exponental:

what an excuse!
Is he scared of dieing before u?

Honestly i can't pin point. he said he would not go for anyone younger than 25. it would be 4-8 years at most. Does not want 2 digits.

Yield:

He's just using that as an excuse to leave. If he loves you and really wants to be with you, age wouldn't be a problem. And i'm sure he knew your age when you met (?), so i'm not sure why he has to use that sour excuse about the age difference being a problem now. If someone can break up with you cuz of that, then it means he no longer wants you and probably never even loved you to begin with cuz if he did he wouldn't be leaving now. I would just let him keep walking. Why would you want to go back to someone that doesn't want you?

He mentioned the age as the main problem but other things like trusting me and also mentioned i had too many guys paying me attention even though he wasn't saying I was cheating

Dunddy:

@ poster - yours is a 7months relationship. it shouldn't be too hard to move on really. consider the break up as an integral part of God's greater plan for your life. my relationship of 8 years was just called of today by my fiancee because she is traveling and blah-blah-blah. Extremely painful but i have to move on or i die young. i suggest you do too.

Wow! Sorry to hear. 8 years is a very long time. Yes I am moving on as difficult as it is.

lelads:

i guess he's the 1st person you fell in love with? you should consider your relationship with him as an experience preparing you for the future,
D not let your hrt be diturbed @ all 22 is still a very young age for marriage in nigeria today, a man of that age may not hesitate to spank you if you offend him, be wise my dear sister

Funny enough, he wasn't my first love. But he was a good man.

^^ is he 'was' already. You are growin

It is quite painful but you need to move on, he sounds quite insecure and the worst mistake you could do in your life is to force an insecure man to spend his life with you. He is still a young man and you even younger, looking at the age difference he feels you are not mature enough to handle pressures of life. His excuse of men giving you attention will always come to the surface because he feels this is your time n it takes trust to overcome that in which he does not trust. Some men prefers older n mature women, because they feel they are more emotionally mature n would have lived life. So my dear girl the faster you work the better you are. I trust you in 5yrs to come you would be happy you took that decision.

i experience sumtin similar.my ex is 10 years older dan me but he dint dump me because of age.i caught him cheating n of cos i walked out from d scene feeling stupid n used.felt bad naturally but i tink my caase is similar 2 poster's.he's just tired of u n wants 2 experince change n a differnt world of passion with someone else.so girl friend move on.it hurts,yes because i felt wot u r feling but d lesson i learnt from d relationship n i want u 2 learn is dat DONT EVA TINK DAT ANY GUY DAT SLEEPS WITH U ACTUALLY LOVES U,COS TRUST ME GUYS CAN SAY ANYTIN WEN DEY R Hot,SECONDLY DONT U EVA TINK U CAN HOLD A GUY DOWN because U TINK U R SEXY N GIVE HIM SEX,AND LASTLY N MOST IMPORTANTLY A GUY DAT SINCERELY LOVES U WILL BE MORE OF UR BESTFRIEND/BROTHER N HE BCOMS UR LOVER N FRIEND AFTA MARRIAGE.its hard i know but i learnt mine in pain,regrets n tears n i dont want u 2 experience d same tin.infact wen i caught my boyfriend he said "did i eva promise u marriage,yes i asked u out but i dont like u anymore like i used to so y r u now actin like i'm tied 2 u.dis is a free world n am free 2 date anyone i like so please get out of my hose" dis words kip ringin in my head till today and anytym i rememba i feel very hurt cos i loved him with all sincerity n was faithful

he knew he wouldnt go far with u from the onset, and i am of the opinion that he has another stable relationship , u v just been officially scammed all the way baby, moveeee on!

and pls dont be offended, how did u meet him?
btw i thought u said he told u he wouldnt marry anyone younger than 25?

yup. i really dont think the guy is ready for any commitment now. actually i think that he isnt ready to be with you to be frank

ladygaga:

he knew he wouldnt go far with u from the onset, and i am of the opinion that he has another stable relationship , u v just been officially scammed all the way baby, moveeee on!

and pls dont be offended, how did u meet him?
btw i thought u said he told u he wouldnt marry anyone younger than 25?

He actually got out from a bad relationship with the woman he wanted to marry but she dumped him and when to marry someone else before he met me. From the onset, he was not willing to go on with a relationship because of the age but I convinced him, that he should try since we both had some connection and he did. Then the argument began, Lil fighting and be always saying "I'm done with the relationship". Until the last argument we had which was little, nothing serious but because I said I was done, he now added and said yes we are done. so i tried making up, he then brought up the arguments and the age issue.
I met him through a friend. Yes he said that when he's looking for the next girl, at least she wouldn't be below 25 or he wants 7-8years age difference.

albridge:

yup. i really dont think the guy is ready for any commitment now. actually i think that he isnt ready to be with you to be frank

He is actually very ready for commitment. His friends told me according to what he told them, That I acted like i wasn't ready to be committed to him plus all the male attention i get and all.

kulyie:

i experience sumtin similar.my ex is 10 years older dan me but he dint dump me because of age.i caught him cheating n of cos i walked out from d scene feeling silly n used.felt bad naturally but i tink my caase is similar 2 poster's.he's just tired of u n wants 2 experince change n a differnt world of passion with someone else.so girl friend move on.it hurts,yes because i felt wot u r feling but d lesson i learnt from d relationship n i want u 2 learn is dat DONT EVA TINK DAT ANY GUY DAT SLEEPS WITH U ACTUALLY LOVES U,COS TRUST ME GUYS CAN SAY ANYTIN WEN DEY R Hot,SECONDLY DONT U EVA TINK U CAN HOLD A GUY DOWN because U TINK U R SEXY N GIVE HIM SEX,AND LASTLY N MOST IMPORTANTLY A GUY DAT SINCERELY LOVES U WILL BE MORE OF your BESTFRIEND/BROTHER N HE BCOMS your LOVER N FRIEND AFTA MARRIAGE.its hard i know but i learnt mine in pain,regrets n tears n i dont want u 2 experience d same tin.infact wen i caught my boyfriend he said "did i eva promise u marriage,yes i asked u out but i dont like u anymore like i used to so y r u now actin like i'm tied 2 u.dis is a free world n am free 2 date anyone i like so please get out of my hose" dis words kip ringin in my head till today and anytym i rememba i feel very hurt cos i loved him with all sincerity n was faithful

Wow, sorry to hear.

mylove4him:

It is quite painful but you need to move on, he sounds quite insecure and the worst mistake you could do in your life is to force an insecure man to spend his life with you. He is still a young man and you even younger, looking at the age difference he feels you are not mature enough to handle pressures of life. His excuse of men giving you attention will always come to the surface because he feels this is your time n it takes trust to overcome that in which he does not trust. Some men prefers older n mature women, because they feel they are more emotionally mature n would have lived life. So my dear girl the faster you work the better you are. I trust you in 5yrs to come you would be happy you took that decision.

I'm hoping. I even asked him if he was insecure and he laughed and said no. I think because of the so much male attention I get though I was willing to change all that.

i think this is your mistake, u convinced him to date you

it is a good thing it is over, how long did u think u could go on convincing him to stick with you!

let him be pls,dont force things, u might even have come across to him as desperate

ladygaga:

i think this is your mistake, u convinced him to date you

it is a good thing it is over, how long did u think u could go on convincing him to stick with you!

let him be pls,dont force things, u might even have come across to him as desperate

I didn't convince him to date me. He wanted to walk away because he was unsure and I assured him, he should not just walk away because of age difference being that he has not tried it before. I did not tie him down. I told him, we took a break and he came back to work things.

I married a young woman, and my life was a living hell. Now that we are divorced, I learned my lesson: Never again!!!!

luap:

I married a young woman, and my life was a living hell. Now that we are divorced, I learned my lesson: Never again!!!!

How old and what was the age difference? And you should blame the woman you married or yourself not "being young". Who says older people don;t divorce

Cosmass:

How old and what was the age difference? And you should blame the woman you married or yourself not "being young". Who says older people don;t divorce

8 years difference. It could be me, or it could be her, it takes two. I have since stuck to older women and found I am more compatible with people close to my age. I think there is something about life experience that helps. I am married now and my wife is a few years older. I am very happy.

You sound like a nice lady, and you finished your degree. The world is yours. I know it might not mean much at the moment, but If I were younger and single, I wish I was mature enough to appreciate the true beauty people really have. Unfortuanately when I was young, I did not appreciate things the way I do now.

Things for you are in the past now(yoru relationship), so save yourself and your love for that One person who will eventually come along. Don't give away all your love or time to men that are passerbys.