Can someone tell me what can it possible mean when a man tells a woman: "I have accepted you the way you are."

I just pray the guy hasn't use Jazz on u!

phemmy88:

I just pray the guy hasn't use Jazz on u!

Is it common in Nigeria? However, he always put emphasis on the fact that he's a good Christian. I doubt that. I see no reason for such thing, but we never know.

It's one of three things but it all boils down to the same verdict.

1. He sees you as just a friend

2. He is cheating on you and keeping you on the side in case of a rainy day.

3. He likes you but can't be bothered because he wants a Nigerian woman,

Verdict: He's dangerous for you. The whole bad boy syndrome is highly overrated and needs to be curbed. The guys on this topic might be kidding but they are right about one thing, you need to find you a man. One that can take you out of the misery this one has put you in. It will be hard but I'm guessing you're strong enough to handle that.

Get a good job, get a busy life, forget him. He'll be the one running after you by then.

Sincere advice is here www.Wizz2020..com

Poster try and get him outta ur mind and stay focus good one will come and will show you true love, but u will keep having the problem if u cant get him off your mind. Wise up

Moonstone:

It's one of three things but it all boils down to the same verdict.

1. He sees you as just a friend

2. He is cheating on you and keeping you on the side in case of a rainy day.

3. He likes you but can't be bothered because he wants a Nigerian woman,

Verdict: He's dangerous for you. The whole bad boy syndrome is highly overrated and needs to be curbed. The guys on this topic might be kidding but they are right about one thing, you need to find you a man. One that can take you out of the misery this one has put you in. It will be hard but I'm guessing you're strong enough to handle that.

Get a good job, get a busy life, forget him. He'll be the one running after you by then.

Yorubah:

Poster try and get him outta your mind and stay focus good one will come and will show you true love,  but u will keep having the problem if u cant get him off your mind. Wise up

What saddened me the most is that I can't speak about it to anybody in my entourage. My friends have been telling me they don't understand this kind of nonsense attitude of mine, they don't want to hear about this guy anymore, and my family loves the young man I mentioned in my first post so much. However, we were friends before and I'm not used to tell lies so I had to explain the situation to him.

I'm just wondering why he had to play mind games with me. Anyway, I'm going to sort myself out of this mess. Thanks Nairaland!

To all the people who took time to advise me I would like to let you know that I appreciate your time and your thoughts. Since I met him, he never say what he wanted from me even when I insisted. So today, I told him that I would like a platonic and healthy cross-sex friendship with him, and I set my limits to no sex, dishonesty and disrespect for I see no reason to become his enemy because I have known him for so long. To my surprise, even though the guy agreed, instead of being happy, he got upset for no reason, and refused to answer to any question while I was expecting him to set his own limits too or even to criticize my behavior. Is it a normal reaction to expect from an average Nigerian guy or else, should I watch my back?

I've the same problem too.

I've the same problem too.

I've the same problem too.

Going through ur posts,what strikes me most is that u are such a sweet natured and open-hearted girl.

The previous posters have said it all, especially Uju-joan. I'll advice you to move on and give someone else a chance to love you. U deserve to be loved n appreciated bc u r such a darling.

Cheers

baby.me:

Going through your posts,what strikes me most is that u are such a sweet natured and open-hearted girl.

The previous posters have said it all, especially Uju-joan. I'll advice you to move on and give someone else a chance to love you. U deserve to be loved n appreciated bc u r such a darling.

Cheers

Thanks!!!

crying will not solve the problem,u need to develope a mind of your own so that u don't get stucked in depression over a guy who is not serious anh, he is not worht it.[/color][color=#990000][b]

[quote ]

even criminals serving time in jail have lots of women admiring them and writing love letters to them in prison.
I think you should go and fix your own personal problem first. go and learn to be comfortable with being loved. otherwise, you will always be depressed all your life.




[quote][/quote]

I think you've been struck hard by a cupid arrow. Well love or no love. I believe in the saying "Never make anyone a priority, when they only make you an option". Plus I think you lack self esteem. Maybe you should take some time with yourself and try to see what you want out of life.By the way how old are you?

lazy1:

I think you've been struck hard by a cupid arrow. Well love or no love. I believe in the saying "Never make anyone a priority, when they only make you an option". Plus I think you lack self esteem. Maybe you should take some time with yourself and try to see what you want out of life.By the way how old are you?

If I was to judge myself on this issue, I would agree with you. I know my actions are speaking against me. I put myself in a bad position all in the name of "love". As I mentioned it earlier, I'm 26 years old.

I appreciate your comment!

@ Fiswu : Only you know the emotions you feel or this person. Any comment given is just prior to your post. Only you can fight the demons that so attaches you to this person. But one thing for sure young lady is that. There are no guarantees in life, not for the present or for the future. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you will divorce at 40 or not. The only thing that's never worth risking is your happiness. Cos life is short!!!

lazy1:

@ Fiswu : Only you know the emotions you feel or this person. Any comment given is just prior to your post. Only you can fight the demons that so attaches you to this person. But one thing for sure young lady is that. There are no guarantees in life, not for the present or for the future. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you will divorce at 40 or not. The only thing that's never worth risking is your happiness. Cos life is short!!!

Your comment makes me confused as I decided that if he happens to be my happiness I prefer living in pain crying my heart out.

He can't be your "happiness" so find what your "happiness" is!!!

lazy1:

He can't be your "happiness" so find what your "happiness" is!!!

Thanks a lot for your time!

@ fiswu

YOu are getting a taste of your own medicine

they have said it all but i really dont understand something and i will like u to clarify that.

is it that u can't cut him off entirely since it has been agreed by everyone even urself that the guy is no good for u?

can't u do without calling him/seeing him? are u that attached to him? cos i think both of u setting limits is just a waste of time. the limits u set now will definately be broken if u keep seeing him. i blv answering these few questions will be of great help

tosyne007:

they have said it all but i really dont understand something and i will like u to clarify that.

is it that u can't cut him off entirely since it has been agreed by everyone even urself that the guy is no good for u?

can't u do without calling him/seeing him? are u that attached to him? cos i think both of u setting limits is just a waste of time. the limits u set now will definately be broken if u keep seeing him. i blv answering these few questions will be of great help

I plan to do it gradually because the last time I  tried to cut him off completely I got hurt even more in the process. Yes, I'm attached to him because we have been friends for more than 2 years, and we used to communicate a lot. However, I decided not to see him anymore. By the way, I asked him to set his own limits, but he refused to do so.

Deep Soul:

Poster,

Something similar has happened to me before. Not the same situation tho, but in terms of how I felt (like the other person is oxygen).
No1 else is ever good enough, even people who are seemingly better than the objection of your affection.

I think your case is even good because you didnt date him. I dated on and off for a long time and I have memories haunting me!!

Sometimes, I get over it by indulging myself in other activities. Sometimes, I remind myself by looking at myself in the mirror and realizing I'm too much for that rubbish. But sometimes, it just hits me like a heart attack and I feel  remaining under my duvet all day.

When that happens, I pray. And it goes away. Till the next time. Then I pray again, lol.

I thought I was the only one living with this pain, and that something was wrong with me. However, I would not wish that to happen to even my worst enemy if I ever have one; it hurts like hell. Thanks for sharing!

i can see this is a seryus matterto you otherwise you will not bring it here but some little questions:
Are you the only child of your parent?
Do you have brothers?
How often do you get along with your brothers or any member of your family?
Do you have any childwood friend ( Guy)
How many girl friend do you have?
How often do you go out with your friends?
Providing these answers and some other ones may lead me to helping you.

@Lekoile

Are you the only child of your parent? : NO, but I was a spoiled child with too much attention.

Do you have brothers?: NO

How often do you get along with your brothers or any member of your family?: I was living with them until recently. Now, I'm living alone.

Do you have any childwood friend ( Guy): NO

How many girl friend do you have? :Let say for here 3 girl friends. I have 3 other good friends (they were my schoolmates in Haiti), but we are not living in the same country. While growing up my mother didn't let us get along with other children. She even raised us with 2 cousins (girls) to make sure that we won't be lonely not talking of 3 house-girls which the single task was to look after us. They bought all kind of games for us which they put in our backyard. So, I'm not comfortable among group of friends, and I'm very selective when I'm choosing my them. However, many people approach me, but I always keep my distance. In this country, the only very good friend I have is the guy that I mentioned in my first post who wants to marry me.

How often do you go out with your friends?: from time to time, I don't like going out a lot, and we were all very busy with our studies.

Your problem no doubt is loneliness. You have missed alot of things while you are young and still keeping yourself from learning it. having housegirl to take care of you having cousings around you, not letting you go out is creating nothing but a wall around yourself. to top it all you said you are not comfortable " So, I'm not comfortable among group of friends". You are also living alone now.
What you have found in the person you enjoy talking with is openness, ability to express yourself freely and company which you have denied yourself for long and you have also not allowed anybody to try to get you out of your shell.
Solution: Make friends with older people (ladies) in and arund you, try to help every new people get to understand them, always look at peoples good side and feel free to express yourself.
Get to visit places and open up your mind, with this you will discover more beauty and happiness and if the guy you said in your thread is not the one you want to marry its a passing phase it will fade away but if He is the one you want to marry you he will soon discover a new.
Everything is beautiful if you look good at it.

Lekoile:

Your problem no doubt is loneliness. You have missed alot of things while you are young and still keeping yourself from learning it. having housegirl to take care of you having cousings around you, not letting you go out is creating nothing but a wall around yourself. to top it all you said you are not comfortable " So, I'm not comfortable among group of friends".  You are also living alone now.
What you have found in the person you enjoy talking with is openness, ability to express yourself freely and company which you have denied yourself for long and you have also not allowed anybody to try to get you out of your shell.
Solution: Make friends with older people (ladies) in and arund you, try to help every new people get to  understand them, always look at peoples good side and feel free to express yourself.
Get to visit places and open up your mind, with this you will discover more beauty and happiness and if the guy you said in your thread is not the one you want to marry its a passing phase it will fade away but if He is the one you want to marry you he will soon discover a new.
Everything is beautiful if you look good at it.

Thanks! I started going out more. However, there are people who have always made themselves available for me at anytime, but I don't feel this kind of strong attraction for them. Sometimes, I even have to push them away to have my space to think about this stubborn young man lol. I have tried to reason myself, but because he never tells his mind on any issue, unless he really wants to talk about it, I'm totally confused. As an example, I still don't understand why a man would  kiss a woman secretly while he thought she was asleep though when he didn't care about her; why he got so nervous around me; why when I finally contacted him after 3 months he couldn't hide his joy, but instead of admitting it, he told me he was just being positive etc; why the little voice inside of me is misleading me? At this point, I'm tired of looking for answers, and will leave this matter in God's hands.

MrLoverMAn:

@ fiswu

YOu are getting a taste of your own medicine

It's ok! 

Finally, I hope this thread will be useful to other young women in search of answers. Learn what you can from it, but still we should all remember that life is a wonderful journey. A big thanks to all of you!!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfJ1X7THwFw

I stumbled and I became fearless. I got hurt to discover my strength.

If you had have the same kind of experience, here is the explanation:

This guy is a skillful player. He applied on me one of the psychanalyst phenomena explained by Freud. In our communication, he was the master and I was the slave. He looks so innocent, thus I trusted him. Because, I'm a proud person who discriminated him from the get to go, he enslaved me mentally via communication and increased challenge and attraction for it was the only way to make me surrender. Human's brain is what it is, so my reaction was unevitable. I should have run instead of trying to take control, but he knew what he was doing very well.

I really felt your pain but i think you are the cause of your unhappiness
Dis guy saw who u are and what goes on in you, he reads you and then capitalize on it, you are weak where he is concerned
and you have build your entire life (yet to be) around him, you have soo much fantasize on things you can do together, even without getting to know it and its hard to accept a crashed dream.

My dear let go off it, it is just a mirage and the more you move closer to it the farther it goes, pls and pls move on with your life be around friends and let them occupy your thought so you can dump his own thought.

NOTE:- Its better you cut the communication once and for all and face the music or let it continue and be a slave 4ever