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Confused - Romance - Nairaland

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She Don't Wanna Rush Relationship Confused Need Help ! / So Confused About My Relationship - My Boyfriend Beats Me / Is She Pretending to Love Me? I'm Confused (2) (3) (4)

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Confused by sweetniola: 10:04pm On Sep 22, 2010
hi , i have just joined today on the advice of close friend as she feels i will get some sound advice here . I have been seeing a guy for 7mths now when we first met we talked a lot on phone and all but lately its like we are getting distant . each time i call him he says he will call back then sometimes wont. i have talked to him about this but he will improve for some days and then go back to  his old ways .  I have broken up with him once but he pleaded and begged and sent emissaries to me but we are back to square 1.
I am lonely as he is never really available when i want to share things with him . I love him and i know he loves me too but the lack of communication and effort on his part is killing me

Please help cry cry
Re: Confused by InkedNerd(f): 10:37pm On Sep 22, 2010
You need to tell him this. Let him know that the lack of communication is driving a wedge between you two and that if the relationship is to succeed that he'll need to communicate with you more. If you take him back and he still continue then you should probably move on. He may be a bit shy. Who knows.
Re: Confused by luap: 11:10pm On Sep 22, 2010
I wonder how come there is so much drama between the both of you about communications

Sounds like your frustrated or angry. Best way to fight frustration is to adjust your own expectations to reality, and not necessarily what you want for yourself.
Re: Confused by r231(m): 11:14pm On Sep 22, 2010
have you 2 done it yet?

if so thats why

if not hmmmmmmm be right bck grin
Re: Confused by ITbomb(m): 6:32am On Sep 23, 2010
How old are both of you. Is he working
Re: Confused by karjard(m): 8:41am On Sep 23, 2010
hey you need to talk to him first and know why he is acting the way he does.if does not give a good responed my candid advice for you is to take a hike before it is too late.act wise babe.
Re: Confused by Africanqueen2(f): 9:25am On Sep 23, 2010
The phone works two ways Honey, if he doesn't call when he says he'll call well call him. Sometimes we need space and when the other doesn't get the idea then there's a problem. Just talk to him and know where you stand. . . No matter how old you re, you just don't walk out of a relationship cos it not working your way. You have to be mature and deal with the problem. . . Talk to him and if you feel walking is the best option for you then take a hike. . . Relationship is not meant to be endured but enjoyed. . . I'm I contradicting myself. . . ?
Re: Confused by Omolola1(f): 9:35am On Sep 23, 2010
I really do not undrstnd y a guy would not call his gf at least twice in a day, even if its just 4 20 seconds. awww
Re: Confused by Nobody: 9:46am On Sep 23, 2010
sista dnt let them fool you the guy is
a) losing interest in the rship
b)has found someone distracting him
but he still wants to keep you prolly because he still got feelings for you.try your best to win him back and if it dnt wrk let him go.
Re: Confused by Kelvinj(m): 10:11am On Sep 23, 2010
African_queen:

The phone works two ways Honey, if he doesn't call when he says he'll call well call him. Sometimes we need space and when the other doesn't get the idea then there's a problem. Just talk to him and know where you stand. . . No matter how old you re, you just don't walk out of a relationship cos it not working your way. You have to be mature and deal with the problem. . . Talk to him and if you feel walking is the best option for you then take a hike. . . Relationship is not meant to be endured but enjoyed. . . I'm I contradicting myself. . . ?
u have a point girl
Re: Confused by deniyor: 10:24am On Sep 23, 2010
Dude is tired of the long distance relationship.

It can get pretty messy and boring after a while. You need to see each other regularly if possible. sometimes calls just don't dig it.
Re: Confused by 1102(m): 10:34am On Sep 23, 2010
@poster

Has he slept with you, ?

cos if he had, then its obvious,

He's tired!
Re: Confused by Tinksh(f): 12:03pm On Sep 23, 2010
190, why do you always ask if the posters have slept with the bf/gf?? Just curious to know.

Poster, sounds exactly like my ex and myself. I have no advice as i still dont know why. I just got tired of saying the same things over and over with no change and i gave up. You may have more patience than me. But really, lifes too short to wait around for someone to care enough to call you. Find someone who will give you what you need. Good luck!!
Re: Confused by sweetniola: 12:31pm On Sep 23, 2010
i know the phone works both ways so i try to call him at least one a day . We have not done it . i am no virgin but i just dont want all the sex thingy again . we are both in nigeria . i am in ijebu ode and he is in lagos thats like a 45- 1 hr drive so we see each other like every other week
Re: Confused by 1102(m): 12:33pm On Sep 23, 2010
Tink_sh:

190, why do you always ask if the posters have slept with the bf/gf?? Just curious to know.

Poster, sounds exactly like my ex and myself. I have no advice as i still dont know why. I just got tired of saying the same things over and over with no change and i gave up. You may have more patience than me. But really, lifes too short to wait around for someone to care enough to call you. Find someone who will give you what you need. Good luck!!

Tink_sh
cos immediately after that most men get tired and find ridiculous excuses to BAIL
except he really loved u before u both go into the act~
Re: Confused by Tinksh(f): 3:44am On Sep 24, 2010
--190--:


Tink_sh
cos immediately after that most men get tired and find ridiculous excuses to BAIL
except he really loved u before u both go into the act~

Thank you for answering my question. Point taken.
Re: Confused by LadyLocs(f): 5:21am On Sep 24, 2010
He can't be bothered to make a simple call? 1hr distance and few visits? Forget love, he isn't even in the slightest into you. Cut your losses and move on.
Re: Confused by 1102(m): 7:22am On Sep 24, 2010
Tink_sh:

Thank you for answering my question. Point taken.

any time my boo,
Re: Confused by olanajim(m): 7:22am On Sep 24, 2010
@sweetniola,
Who ever tell u that communication doesnt matter is surely a kid! Contrary to what many people think, it is communication that sustain relationships. Love is not possible without it just like everything depends on it.

The second thing to note is that, many of us think communication simply means talking! As a result, many are those who talked themselves to heartbreaks. They talk every hours, some every 3 days thinking that will strengthen the union, yet they never had enough! Why? Because they are not communicating!

I want you to revise your proceedure and ask urself whether you are communicating or just talking. Both does not mean the same!

Btw, is the guy living in the same town as you? What is his job? And what kind of man is he? Is he straight or someone who like to beat about the bush?
Re: Confused by Tinksh(f): 8:23am On Sep 24, 2010
--190--:


any time my boo,

hahaha!!! There you go again!! wink
Re: Confused by 1102(m): 8:37am On Sep 24, 2010
Tink_sh:

hahaha!!! There you go again!! wink

I Wud keep going till u give me a chance~ my boo~
Re: Confused by Tinksh(f): 8:41am On Sep 24, 2010
--190--:


I Wud keep going till u give me a chance~ my boo~

I have one word for you, 'Omolola'!!!!! smiley
Re: Confused by 1102(m): 8:45am On Sep 24, 2010
Tink_sh:

I have one word for you, 'Omolola'!!!!! smiley

and ive got 1 word for u, Tink_sh (vs 190)
Re: Confused by Tinksh(f): 8:48am On Sep 24, 2010
--190--:

and ive got 1 word for u, Tink_sh (vs 190)

Bring it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: Confused by 1102(m): 8:50am On Sep 24, 2010
^^
lets do this off Nairaland~ grin grin kiss kiss
Re: Confused by Tinksh(f): 8:58am On Sep 24, 2010
--190--:

^^
lets do this off Nairaland~ grin grin kiss kiss
Haha! your funny, and how do you suggest you do that? Anytime now i will be in trouble for off topic
Re: Confused by 1102(m): 9:03am On Sep 24, 2010
Tink_sh:

Haha! your funny, and how do you suggest you do that? Anytime now i will be in trouble for off topic

Dont worry u'll be just fine,
U on FB` kiss kiss
Re: Confused by Tinksh(f): 9:15am On Sep 24, 2010
yes
Re: Confused by 1102(m): 9:19am On Sep 24, 2010
pls send me a mail, tinkish~ grin grin
Re: Confused by Bnimz(m): 9:33am On Sep 24, 2010
.
Re: Confused by Tinksh(f): 9:37am On Sep 24, 2010
B@n!mz:

ERROR!! I used to call my ex once in 2 days and she still broke up cos she felt like i was monitoring her,

Once in two days and she dumped you for monitoring her?? Wow!!! shocked shocked That bites big time. I guess it depends on the person.
Re: Confused by mkpuluma(f): 11:56am On Sep 24, 2010
use ur head girl

d guy is tired of d rship and wants to opt out cunningly

4get about him and move on.

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